Who does the housework? - Mothering Forums

Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 69 Old 02-28-2009, 04:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
Heidi74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 217
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't want to hijack another thread, so I'm posting this as a new one. As SAHMS, I'd be interested to know who does the housework in your home. Does DH contribute, and if so, how? Does anyone else help?

Around here, I do most of the housework, but DH does do a fair amount. On weekdays, I make the beds (DS is 18 months, so he can't really do much), do the laundry, dishes, housecleaning etc. Friday is my housecleaning day...vacuuming, bathrooms, etc. I also prepare all the meals and do the dishes on weekdays.

DH takes out the garbage and takes care of the recycling (which actually is a pretty big, messy job...a lot of stuff needs to be sorted through.) He also takes care of our paperwork like taxes, bills, etc. He does the grocery shopping one evening a week--I do a weekly list. We started out alternating who did dishes in the evening and who puts DS to bed, but because I feel I need a child break at the end of the day I've started cleaning up after dinner while he does DS's bath, bedtime routine etc. I really don't mind..I've started putting on a DVD in the evenings while I do dishes and clean up. It's kind of nice.

Weekends are a little different. On Saturdays, DH makes breakfast, sets out lunch and takes care of breakfast and lunch cleanup. He also takes care of DS that day, so I can study. (I'm taking a graduate class.) Lately, I've been making dinner on Saturdays--though we sometimes order out. Sundays I tend to do the meal prep and cleanup while he takes care of DS...though we split things pretty much 50/50 that day.

When I start working someday, we'll probably have to organize things a little differently...but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, I think we have an arrangement we are both happy with.

I'd be interested in knowing how others divide housework when one parent is a SAHP.
Heidi74 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 69 Old 02-28-2009, 04:57 PM
 
ChampagneBlossom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 465
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Me.
ChampagneBlossom is offline  
#3 of 69 Old 02-28-2009, 05:14 PM
 
savannah smiles's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: hunting ghosts w/ Jason and Grant
Posts: 2,288
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do most of the household cleaning whereas he does most of the outside chores. Fairly traditional setup here.

Gazing furtively at you from under my siggie!
savannah smiles is offline  
 
#4 of 69 Old 02-28-2009, 05:14 PM
 
Phantaja's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Detroit
Posts: 2,751
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not home full time yet, not for another 29 days, but I do the housework now and will continue.

Body, I've been more than patient. Please make a baby. Please?
always loving my babies. (May 08)(April 09)(August 09)(September 09) (December 10)
Phantaja is offline  
#5 of 69 Old 02-28-2009, 05:23 PM
 
newbymom05's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,591
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do most b/c I'm home, but DH contributes when he's here. Sometimes, like today (Sat), I prefer him to play w/ the boys while I clean. So I def do the lion's share, but that works for us.
newbymom05 is offline  
#6 of 69 Old 02-28-2009, 08:56 PM
 
SunShineSally's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In the land of NO punctuation.!,?':
Posts: 2,942
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do I am a neat freak and do not like to watch or see others clean

Glenn bouncy.gif 11*09 Joe 4*04 peace.gif Me praying.gif & Hubby geek.gif

 

Quote:
 

 

SunShineSally is offline  
#7 of 69 Old 02-28-2009, 09:07 PM
 
tamagotchi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,062
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do some, and DH does some. DH runs the dishwasher and does laundry in the evenings. I do the finances and paperwork, shopping, cooking, decluttering and tidying up, and cleaning.
tamagotchi is offline  
#8 of 69 Old 02-28-2009, 09:08 PM
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: savasana
Posts: 4,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my dh and dds are good about not creating lots of clutter, and I do most of the daily tidying/cleaning. I have a cleaning lady in 2x a month to do the heavy cleaning.
mata is offline  
#9 of 69 Old 02-28-2009, 09:09 PM
 
philomom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 9,673
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 52 Post(s)
While I do the bulk of it... we all pitch in. Everyone who lives in my house can contribute to its care.
philomom is offline  
#10 of 69 Old 02-28-2009, 09:13 PM
 
SequoiasMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 522
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do everything. Inside, out, whatever. DP does things I can't, i.e. complicated electrical, heavy construction, etc.
Right now he does scoop the catbox and takes the garbage cans to the curb sometimes.
There are random exceptions, but I do mostly everything.

mama to Journey (1/07) Sequoia (1/07) and Camellia (7/09)
SequoiasMom is offline  
#11 of 69 Old 02-28-2009, 09:22 PM
 
Drummer's Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Land of Enchantment
Posts: 11,487
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do the majority, just because I am home all the time. When DH is not working, he pitches in and does a lot around the house. I'd say he does more housework than I do on the weekends.

ribboncesarean.gif cesareans happen.
Drummer's Wife is offline  
#12 of 69 Old 02-28-2009, 09:46 PM
 
LaLaLaLa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,615
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do most--grocery shopping, dump trips, cleaning, dishwasher, folding and putting away clothes. I also do all of the money stuff.

DH does much of the laundry up to the point where it needs to be folded, and he does most of our dinner cooking. He's better at it than I am.
LaLaLaLa is offline  
#13 of 69 Old 02-28-2009, 09:55 PM
 
nichole's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Bear, DE
Posts: 3,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do almost all of it except for take out the trash, repair things, get the oil changed, etc. All the cooking and cleaning is usually my job.

Dh isn't home much b/c of his job. When he is home, I like him to save that energy for playing with the boys and putting them to bed for me.

We eat out at least once a week. There is a lot to do all the time, but I don't worry about it being perfect.
nichole is offline  
#14 of 69 Old 03-01-2009, 12:11 AM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 25,599
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Cooking: I do the weekday cooking. DH does the weekend cooking. (There are a few exceptions - dh often does dinner on Tuesday, when I have choir - but that's the way it usually works.)

Laundry: I do most of it. DH will put away a load if I leave it on the bed and he's not too tired. If he needs to wash something that wasn't in the hamper, he'll usually throw the hamper stuff in with it.

Vacuuming: We don't do it often enough, but dh probably does it more than I do. DS1 does it once every two weeks - the whole main floor.

Dishes: DH loads the dishwasher more often than I do. I do almost all the hand dishes (although I woke up this morning to find that dh had cleared up all of them).

Shopping: I used to do almost all of it (although dh would pick things up on his way home if I forgot something). Since the new year, dh and I have been doing a big shop together, with the kids, every week. I'll be taking it back over soon.

Bills/banking: I do it. DH and I discuss everything, and I keep him up to date on what's going on, but he almost never even looks at the bank account.

I tend to do almost all of the wiping down of surfaces (counters, tabletops, etc.) because that tends to happen during the day. I also do most of the sweeping (kitchen, bathroom and front hall are uncarpeted). I also clean the bathrooms, but not as often as I should. We're adding this to ds1's alternating chore list. I especially find the bathtub difficult when I'm past about 20 weeks pregnant...and I'm 23.

Outdoors: There's not a lot to do here, as we have a very small front garden patch (I've planted some bulbs, but that's about the extent of it) and a large-ish patio. DH tends to do most of the work on the patio, but I do try to give it at least a superficial spring cleaning once or twice a year (clear cobwebs off the outside walls, sweep up and dispose of leaves, etc.).

Garbage/recycling: This is ds1's job. Once in a while, dh or I will take it out, because ds1 isn't feeling well or is away for a field trip or something, but it's his chore - he takes out garbage, compost, plastic/glass recycling, mixed paper and newpapers...but we all sort stuff as it's used.

I can't think of any other regular chores off the top of my head. This stuff is all subject to change at any time, as circumstances change (eg. I'm sick, new baby in the house, dh away for a couple days, etc. etc.).

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
#15 of 69 Old 03-01-2009, 03:47 AM
 
becoming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 11,592
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do.
becoming is offline  
#16 of 69 Old 03-01-2009, 05:26 AM
 
milkybean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: western washington
Posts: 1,594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It's supposed to be about 50/50, but hubby actually does much MORE than I do. Though today I pitched in with dishes, as they've really been getting away from him, and he really appreciated that. I think I'll try to do that more often.

Early on I finally believed him when he let me know that my job was to, as he put it, keep our son alive. If that was done, I'd done my job. Everything else would be just like before we got married and had DS (honeymoon baby) and was working...we both made the messes, we'd both clean the messes to the best of our own abilities.
milkybean is offline  
#17 of 69 Old 03-01-2009, 03:15 PM
 
Mamafreya's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 467
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We try to take turns doing things around the house. I pretty much always do the dishes, bathroom, general toy cleaning and bill paying. Dh takes care of the laundry, garbage and outside care. All the other stuff we do together or take turns.
Mamafreya is offline  
#18 of 69 Old 03-01-2009, 04:05 PM
 
SAHDS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: surrounded by the Joneses
Posts: 3,422
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DH does:
  • the bills
  • most of the grocery shopping
  • the dishes
  • trash/recycling
  • car maintenance
  • yard/garden work
  • garage "stuff"
  • pet care

and whatever else might need doing or if I ask him to help me. Sometimes I feel bad with how much he does considering he works and I have way more free time since the kids are gone all day, but he's always been good at helping around the house.

Sgt. Renninger, Ofc. Owens, Ofc. Griswold, Ofc. Richards, Deputy Mundell
Gone but not fogotten.
SAHDS is offline  
#19 of 69 Old 03-01-2009, 05:12 PM
 
vm9799's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 946
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by savannah smiles View Post
I do most of the household cleaning whereas he does most of the outside chores. Fairly traditional setup here.
this is my dh and i. he will definitely help out if i need him to, but i'm very organized and on top of things 99% of the time........with 2 kids in school all day long, i have plenty of time on my hands to get it all done.

: : vicki ~ wife & mom of 2 amazing kids
live well ~ laugh often ~ love much
vm9799 is offline  
#20 of 69 Old 03-01-2009, 05:40 PM
 
Llyra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: right here
Posts: 9,388
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We divide it. We have a really oddball system that we've hammered out over the years of who does what, based on what works for us. It leaves each of us with roughly equal amounts of "free time" each day, which seemed fair to us. The exception is when I had nursing babies, or when I'm sick (I have a serious chronic illness). At those times, DH does a lot more of the cleaning. It's mostly me, though, that keeps track of what needs to be done and when.

We are both agreed that my primary job is raising the kids, so housework is necessarily a shared thing. We are also agreed that we want our son in particular to see his Dad being a willing partner in the house.

laundry/clothing: he does his clothes, and the diapers and towels and rags and stuff about half the time. I do my clothes, the kids' clothes, the bedding, and the rest of the kitchen and diaper laundry. I'm the one who shops for everybody's clothes, though. I also mend clothes that need it, and do some knitting and sewing for all of us.

cleaning: I do most of it; he pitches in on request. He does it willingly and gladly though, which is nice. He also keeps the cellar organized.

cooking: When I'm home, I mostly cook. I love cooking. And he's not any good at it, and I don't like to eat what he cooks. This is a problem area-- I think he's willfully no good at it, because he'd really rather not do it, because I complain too much about what he makes. So it's better just for me to cook. I do some tutoring in the evenings, though, and he cooks just fine for him and the kids then.
We also do a lot of food preservation because we eat seasonally and put up food. He and I share that about equally.

dishes: I do daytime dishes, he does evening and weekend dishes.

shopping: I do almost all of it. I also maintain and rotate our stored food, plan menus, and clip coupons and plan for bulk buying.

gardening: mostly his job, although I'll weed a bit, or pick herbs, or whatever.

trash and recycling: He takes it out at night. If it needs to go out more frequently, I'll do it.

Bills and banking: all me. : He can't handle it.

Repairs/ maintenance: We don't have a lawn, so there's no lawn maintenance to deal with. We also have only minor household repairs, because the landlord takes care of most of that for free. But if there's a clogged toilet or whatever, whoever's there on the scene takes care of it, so more often me than him. He maintains our transportation (his bike, my car.)

me knit.gif, he bikenew.gif, my three reading.gif, sleepytime.gif, and fairy.gif-- and the one we lost angel2.gif
Llyra is offline  
#21 of 69 Old 03-01-2009, 05:58 PM
 
the_lissa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,838
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We split teh housework. My weekday job is child care. His is working outside the home for pay.

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

the_lissa is offline  
#22 of 69 Old 03-01-2009, 06:24 PM
 
sunnmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: surrounded by love
Posts: 6,123
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It has varied a lot over the years....

When I had an infant, I did very little housework or cooking while dh is at work. He did most of the housework, and I did most of the cooking when he was home. We worked together to deep clean on the weekends.

When I was homeschooling dd, dh did some housework (mostly laundry and dishes).

Now that dd is in school, and I am home with just 2 yo ds, I do all the housework and cooking--with many hours left over to relax and/or play with ds (who is happy to entertain himself, while dd never was).
sunnmama is offline  
#23 of 69 Old 03-01-2009, 08:03 PM
 
Einen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: NC
Posts: 318
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Me! Although dh likes to cook so he usually will if I ask him too.

Busy mom and loving it... dd (2/03), ds (6/05), dd (8/07), ds (12/09), ??? due 5/12

Einen is offline  
#24 of 69 Old 03-02-2009, 12:43 AM
 
rightkindofme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 4,671
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 53 Post(s)
If you ask me when I'm in a bad mood I'll say me. If you ask me the rest of the time I'll say it's a pretty even split.

My husband makes breakfast four or five days a week. He sometimes does more elaborate meals; sometimes it's just fetching cereal with milk. He does all of the vacuuming, so I don't complain about him not doing it enough. He does dishes once or twice a week. He helps load the dishwasher at the end of the day occasionally. He puts laundry in the machine more often than I do and he is better at rotating stuff through to the drier. He makes dinner about twice a week. He mops the kitchen when I ask him to. (I don't do it much.) He wipes down all the surfaces in the kitchen when he thinks it looks too messy.

I fold all of the laundry and occasionally run loads. I clean the bathroom. I do most of the dishes. I cook dinner ~four times a week. (We are big on cooking huge batches and eating the same meal several times over the course of a week or so.) I do most of the cat box maintenance when I'm not pregnant. I do most of the shopping but he likes to come with me occasionally. I do all of the organizing and most of the 'picking up'.

I've really got a pretty sweet deal.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

rightkindofme is offline  
#25 of 69 Old 03-02-2009, 04:36 AM
 
gromero's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: So. CA
Posts: 163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Me, almost all of it.

I have noticed over time that the small things dh used to do has been falling to my lap. Clogged toliet...I am now doing that (where is used to do it for me), hanging picture frames...they are now hanging at an angle thanks to me doing them. The only thing dh does is change the oil and gas the car up, but he is a mechanic so those things shouldn't be that hard, lol.

I'd say dh has a pretty sweet deal.

But I also can not handle being home all day with 4 kids, homeschooling, cooking every meal of every day, do all the dishes, laundrey, garden, vacume and wash van on sundays, etc. without any help what so ever, so he is going to need to pitch in somewhere asap.

I am jealous of those dh's that help out so much.
gromero is offline  
#26 of 69 Old 03-02-2009, 08:21 AM
 
cappuccinosmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: SW Pennsylvania
Posts: 5,446
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I pretty much do it all. Housework, laundry, bills, shopping. And I really don't mind.

Dh steps in sometimes, either when he sees I'm not managing (when I'm pregnant and with a newborn he always does the dishes even if I don't really need him to ) or when there's something he wants done in a certain way (cleaning the basement).
cappuccinosmom is offline  
#27 of 69 Old 03-02-2009, 09:49 AM
 
Tiffany_PartyOf7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Saint Augustine, Florida
Posts: 169
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We both do. We have 4 and 1 on the way. I homeschool my oldest 2. My husband looks at it like my actual job is to care of our children and raise and school them. His job is to bring money home. It's both of our jobs to keep our home clean and safe.

I do the daily light cleaning stuff. He does most of the laundry. I do some of the cooking, so does he. He does the heavy duty weekly/monthly cleaning stuff. I do the bills. He does the yard and vehicles (including pumping gas LOL). I do the shopping and menu planning. I wish we could have a garden - we would both tend to that and get the kids involved. But unfortunately we rent and aren't allowed to have one - and our yard isn't fenced, and the neighborhood kids like to mess with our stuff LOL. We had one at our old house that we all had fun with.
Tiffany_PartyOf7 is offline  
#28 of 69 Old 03-02-2009, 10:00 AM
 
RedPony's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 478
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do most if not all of the housework, but DH will pitch in at any time if asked. He really is an awesome guy. I really really love the outdoor stuff, too, but our mower and blower are too big for me to use, so DH does those two jobs exclusively now. I will shovel snow and trim, pick up sticks, rake leaves, and garden. So much fun!

Stacy - mom to Lily 5-20-06 , Angel, stillborn @ 25 wks 12-17-07 , and Cami 4-21-09.
RedPony is offline  
#29 of 69 Old 03-02-2009, 10:38 AM
 
Magali's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Molten Core
Posts: 2,297
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
During the week I do all the housework and cooking. My dh plows the driveway or cuts the lawn and takes out the garbage. On the weekend my hubby does dishes and helps with a general tidy of the house and cooks sometimes, but I do all the vacuuming and bathrooms. For kitty litter we take turns, one day it's me the next it's dh. No complaints here. I consider the majority of the housework as part of my job as a sahp, and I appreciate the help I get from dh.

 caffix.gif

Magali is offline  
#30 of 69 Old 03-02-2009, 01:56 PM
 
DandeCobb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: In constant renovation
Posts: 1,506
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magali View Post
I consider the majority of the housework as part of my job as a sahp, and I appreciate the help I get from dh.
I do too.

I do the housework. about once a week I'll ask DH for his help doing the evening pickup (after the kids are in bed, picking up everything to start the next day on a clean slate).

He also mows the lawn because to be honest, I have never mowed grass in my entire life and would like to keep it that way. But, DS and I will pick up the sticks and we all work in the garden.

I do 99% of the housecleaning during the week during the day, so evenings and weekends are for relaxing (and obviously dishes still get done and toys still get picked up, but that is about it).
DandeCobb is offline  
Reply


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 14,783

29 members and 14,754 guests
anthropology , BirthFree , broodymama , ChasingLittleFeesers , christine.l2017 , Deborah , Dovenoir , emmy526 , esg , Fluffer , friendly_mum , gizzypeach , greenemami , hillymum , jamesmorrow , Katherine73 , lhargrave89 , lisak1234 , Mirzam , moominmamma , NaturallyKait , rocatalicia , RollerCoasterMama , rubelin , Shelsi , Springshowers , sren , zebra15
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.