Around here, I do most of the housework, but DH does do a fair amount. On weekdays, I make the beds (DS is 18 months, so he can't really do much), do the laundry, dishes, housecleaning etc. Friday is my housecleaning day...vacuuming, bathrooms, etc. I also prepare all the meals and do the dishes on weekdays.
DH takes out the garbage and takes care of the recycling (which actually is a pretty big, messy job...a lot of stuff needs to be sorted through.) He also takes care of our paperwork like taxes, bills, etc. He does the grocery shopping one evening a week--I do a weekly list. We started out alternating who did dishes in the evening and who puts DS to bed, but because I feel I need a child break at the end of the day I've started cleaning up after dinner while he does DS's bath, bedtime routine etc. I really don't mind..I've started putting on a DVD in the evenings while I do dishes and clean up. It's kind of nice.
Weekends are a little different. On Saturdays, DH makes breakfast, sets out lunch and takes care of breakfast and lunch cleanup. He also takes care of DS that day, so I can study. (I'm taking a graduate class.) Lately, I've been making dinner on Saturdays--though we sometimes order out. Sundays I tend to do the meal prep and cleanup while he takes care of DS...though we split things pretty much 50/50 that day.
When I start working someday, we'll probably have to organize things a little differently...but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, I think we have an arrangement we are both happy with.
I'd be interested in knowing how others divide housework when one parent is a SAHP.
always loving my babies. (May 08)(April 09)(August 09)(September 09) (December 10)
Right now he does scoop the catbox and takes the garbage cans to the curb sometimes.
There are random exceptions, but I do mostly everything.
DH does much of the laundry up to the point where it needs to be folded, and he does most of our dinner cooking. He's better at it than I am.
Dh isn't home much b/c of his job. When he is home, I like him to save that energy for playing with the boys and putting them to bed for me.
We eat out at least once a week. There is a lot to do all the time, but I don't worry about it being perfect.
Laundry: I do most of it. DH will put away a load if I leave it on the bed and he's not too tired. If he needs to wash something that wasn't in the hamper, he'll usually throw the hamper stuff in with it.
Vacuuming: We don't do it often enough, but dh probably does it more than I do. DS1 does it once every two weeks - the whole main floor.
Dishes: DH loads the dishwasher more often than I do. I do almost all the hand dishes (although I woke up this morning to find that dh had cleared up all of them).
Shopping: I used to do almost all of it (although dh would pick things up on his way home if I forgot something). Since the new year, dh and I have been doing a big shop together, with the kids, every week. I'll be taking it back over soon.
Bills/banking: I do it. DH and I discuss everything, and I keep him up to date on what's going on, but he almost never even looks at the bank account.
I tend to do almost all of the wiping down of surfaces (counters, tabletops, etc.) because that tends to happen during the day. I also do most of the sweeping (kitchen, bathroom and front hall are uncarpeted). I also clean the bathrooms, but not as often as I should. We're adding this to ds1's alternating chore list. I especially find the bathtub difficult when I'm past about 20 weeks pregnant...and I'm 23.
Outdoors: There's not a lot to do here, as we have a very small front garden patch (I've planted some bulbs, but that's about the extent of it) and a large-ish patio. DH tends to do most of the work on the patio, but I do try to give it at least a superficial spring cleaning once or twice a year (clear cobwebs off the outside walls, sweep up and dispose of leaves, etc.).
Garbage/recycling: This is ds1's job. Once in a while, dh or I will take it out, because ds1 isn't feeling well or is away for a field trip or something, but it's his chore - he takes out garbage, compost, plastic/glass recycling, mixed paper and newpapers...but we all sort stuff as it's used.
I can't think of any other regular chores off the top of my head. This stuff is all subject to change at any time, as circumstances change (eg. I'm sick, new baby in the house, dh away for a couple days, etc. etc.).
Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) , Emma (5/03) , Evan (7/05) , & Jenna (6/09)
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing Aaron Ambrose (11/07)
Early on I finally believed him when he let me know that my job was to, as he put it, keep our son alive. If that was done, I'd done my job. Everything else would be just like before we got married and had DS (honeymoon baby) and was working...we both made the messes, we'd both clean the messes to the best of our own abilities.
- the bills
- most of the grocery shopping
- the dishes
- car maintenance
- yard/garden work
- garage "stuff"
- pet care
and whatever else might need doing or if I ask him to help me. Sometimes I feel bad with how much he does considering he works and I have way more free time since the kids are gone all day, but he's always been good at helping around the house.
Gone but not fogotten.
live well ~ laugh often ~ love much
We are both agreed that my primary job is raising the kids, so housework is necessarily a shared thing. We are also agreed that we want our son in particular to see his Dad being a willing partner in the house.
laundry/clothing: he does his clothes, and the diapers and towels and rags and stuff about half the time. I do my clothes, the kids' clothes, the bedding, and the rest of the kitchen and diaper laundry. I'm the one who shops for everybody's clothes, though. I also mend clothes that need it, and do some knitting and sewing for all of us.
cleaning: I do most of it; he pitches in on request. He does it willingly and gladly though, which is nice. He also keeps the cellar organized.
cooking: When I'm home, I mostly cook. I love cooking. And he's not any good at it, and I don't like to eat what he cooks. This is a problem area-- I think he's willfully no good at it, because he'd really rather not do it, because I complain too much about what he makes. So it's better just for me to cook. I do some tutoring in the evenings, though, and he cooks just fine for him and the kids then.
We also do a lot of food preservation because we eat seasonally and put up food. He and I share that about equally.
dishes: I do daytime dishes, he does evening and weekend dishes.
shopping: I do almost all of it. I also maintain and rotate our stored food, plan menus, and clip coupons and plan for bulk buying.
gardening: mostly his job, although I'll weed a bit, or pick herbs, or whatever.
trash and recycling: He takes it out at night. If it needs to go out more frequently, I'll do it.
Bills and banking: all me. : He can't handle it.
Repairs/ maintenance: We don't have a lawn, so there's no lawn maintenance to deal with. We also have only minor household repairs, because the landlord takes care of most of that for free. But if there's a clogged toilet or whatever, whoever's there on the scene takes care of it, so more often me than him. He maintains our transportation (his bike, my car.)
When I had an infant, I did very little housework or cooking while dh is at work. He did most of the housework, and I did most of the cooking when he was home. We worked together to deep clean on the weekends.
When I was homeschooling dd, dh did some housework (mostly laundry and dishes).
Now that dd is in school, and I am home with just 2 yo ds, I do all the housework and cooking--with many hours left over to relax and/or play with ds (who is happy to entertain himself, while dd never was).
My husband makes breakfast four or five days a week. He sometimes does more elaborate meals; sometimes it's just fetching cereal with milk. He does all of the vacuuming, so I don't complain about him not doing it enough. He does dishes once or twice a week. He helps load the dishwasher at the end of the day occasionally. He puts laundry in the machine more often than I do and he is better at rotating stuff through to the drier. He makes dinner about twice a week. He mops the kitchen when I ask him to. (I don't do it much.) He wipes down all the surfaces in the kitchen when he thinks it looks too messy.
I fold all of the laundry and occasionally run loads. I clean the bathroom. I do most of the dishes. I cook dinner ~four times a week. (We are big on cooking huge batches and eating the same meal several times over the course of a week or so.) I do most of the cat box maintenance when I'm not pregnant. I do most of the shopping but he likes to come with me occasionally. I do all of the organizing and most of the 'picking up'.
I've really got a pretty sweet deal.
My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.
I have noticed over time that the small things dh used to do has been falling to my lap. Clogged toliet...I am now doing that (where is used to do it for me), hanging picture frames...they are now hanging at an angle thanks to me doing them. The only thing dh does is change the oil and gas the car up, but he is a mechanic so those things shouldn't be that hard, lol.
I'd say dh has a pretty sweet deal.
But I also can not handle being home all day with 4 kids, homeschooling, cooking every meal of every day, do all the dishes, laundrey, garden, vacume and wash van on sundays, etc. without any help what so ever, so he is going to need to pitch in somewhere asap.
I am jealous of those dh's that help out so much.
Dh steps in sometimes, either when he sees I'm not managing (when I'm pregnant and with a newborn he always does the dishes even if I don't really need him to ) or when there's something he wants done in a certain way (cleaning the basement).
I do the daily light cleaning stuff. He does most of the laundry. I do some of the cooking, so does he. He does the heavy duty weekly/monthly cleaning stuff. I do the bills. He does the yard and vehicles (including pumping gas LOL). I do the shopping and menu planning. I wish we could have a garden - we would both tend to that and get the kids involved. But unfortunately we rent and aren't allowed to have one - and our yard isn't fenced, and the neighborhood kids like to mess with our stuff LOL. We had one at our old house that we all had fun with.
I consider the majority of the housework as part of my job as a sahp, and I appreciate the help I get from dh.
I do the housework. about once a week I'll ask DH for his help doing the evening pickup (after the kids are in bed, picking up everything to start the next day on a clean slate).
He also mows the lawn because to be honest, I have never mowed grass in my entire life and would like to keep it that way. But, DS and I will pick up the sticks and we all work in the garden.
I do 99% of the housecleaning during the week during the day, so evenings and weekends are for relaxing (and obviously dishes still get done and toys still get picked up, but that is about it).
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