To those of you with 3+ kids... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 50 Old 09-10-2009, 06:41 PM
 
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I feel like I'm usually in the minority around peers with 3+ in saying that 3 has been easier, especially in transition, to 2.

A lot has to do with your kids personalities in relation to their birth order, methinks.

But, yes! 3 is just great, for my vote! 2 was a tricky blur for a while but 3 has been peachy. We hope to be ready for a 4 in a few years.

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#32 of 50 Old 09-10-2009, 10:44 PM
 
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It depends on their ages and temperments. For me, three was just as easy because by the time I had the third, I had a 7 year old daughter who was so helpful. My biggest adjustment was having a newborn after having been out of the baby phase for 5 years.

Gillian - Wife to an amazing DH, Mother to 5 wonderful kiddos.
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#33 of 50 Old 09-11-2009, 12:20 AM
 
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Going from 2 to 3 was really difficult, but part of that was just our life circumstances. Dh was schooling nearly full time and working nearly full time. I was in the midst of demoing a moldy basement. Ds1 was just dx'd with ASD and was on an eating strike that left him malnourished and in feeding therapy twice a week. Plus, dh needed ankle surgery that left him not very mobile for a while. And there was only 19 months between #2 and #3. It was just too much for only me to deal with!! But after the 6 month adjustment we just were good at dealing with it all, juggling everyone's needs, and just doing what needed to be done. And she just brought so much joy to our lives (just like her brothers did) that it made every second worth it!

Going from 3 to 4 was so ridiculously easy! It was like things got EASIER and not HARDER. Partly because they all just loved her so much that she was a huge source of entertainment. The olders (then 6 and 4) were happy to entertain the younger ones (then 2 and newborn) so that I could easily keep up with the laundry and other daily tasks. They fought over who could fold the diapers, put away her laundry, and even who could try to put her to sleep! Even now at 8, 6, 4, and 2 it is pretty easy to keep up. My house is so much cleaner than it used to be, we do more stuff together as a family, meals are regular, shopping is a routine. I find 4 way easier than 1 or 3. (2 was pretty good though ).


 

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#34 of 50 Old 09-11-2009, 12:38 PM
 
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Going from 3 to 4 has been the hardest. Going from 2 to 3 was surprisingly easy. I think it has to do with how old my youngest child was with each addition. I was still in "baby mode" when my 3rd came along, as my 2nd was just shy of turning 2 at the time. Number 3 was 4 years old when number 4 came along. HUGE ADJUSTMENT for me. I'm still adjusting. I feel like I'm just treading water until we get past this baby stage. There are other factors that have made going from 3 to 4 difficult, also. Like the fact that breastfeeding did not work out with this one, whereas I've EBF all of my others and done child-led weaning with each one, as well. Not nursing this baby has been a huge obstacle for me. I feel like I have had to relearn parenting at all of these stages, because nursing has always been such a huge part of parenting an infant/toddler for me.

Of course, DH wants a fifth. ACK! LOL Although I live by "never say never".
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#35 of 50 Old 09-11-2009, 01:32 PM
 
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I can't say that it has been easy at any point, but it didn't get harder for me going from 2 to 3. I think it's really nice if you have enough of an age gap so at least one older child can help keep at least one of the little ones occupied when you need to do something. My dss has been great playing with my ods, helping him get dressed and brush his teeth, or getting him snacks when I simply must attend to the baby.

I'm on year 5 of pregnant and/or nursing and I am getting kind of tired, but I'd still like one more in a couple years.

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#36 of 50 Old 09-12-2009, 05:32 PM
 
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I am cooking number 9 right now. Going from 3 to 4 was hardest for me- but after that it was just like they were always here and fit right in. When I had less kids I think it was more work. Now they do all help out and help with each other- which makes a huge difference. The more the merrier around here

"Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." ~William Morris
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#37 of 50 Old 09-12-2009, 10:35 PM
 
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I TOTALLY agree with this. Two is so calm and peaceful; three is like living in a circus. I'm serious. I don't know what it is about that number three. If only two of my kids are here -- and it doesn't matter which two, or what combination of kids -- everything is smooth sailing. Throw that third one back in, and chaos ensues. I don't know about four or more since I only have three at this point. I can only tell you that my life was much calmer before the third one came to be. (Although the third one is the absolute LIGHT OF MY LIFE, so I wouldn't change a thing. )
I agree!!!

I think if I had a fourth the craziness would level out a bit, but I'm not going to find out!
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#38 of 50 Old 09-16-2009, 10:59 PM
 
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We are a new 3-kid family - the littlest is just 9 weeks old, and so far it's been really really hard. Crazy, ridiculous, silly hard. Although I was able to split my time two ways between the first two, I'm finding it impossible to split my attention three ways. I sure hope this gets easier and it's much harder than I expected.
I was worried about hearing something like this. For us baby #3 is due in 7-8 weeks, and I'm starting to feel very nervous about it.

Mama to dd born 7/2005, dd born 12/2007 and dd born 11/2009.
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#39 of 50 Old 09-17-2009, 07:31 AM
 
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I was worried about hearing something like this. For us baby #3 is due in 7-8 weeks, and I'm starting to feel very nervous about it.
While it was really hard (and still can be some days ... but not as bad as those first few months) I feel that we do a lot of things as a family -- like the kids are one unit and the adults are one unit and we don't do a lot of individual things (although we do some). I try to give individual time but it is hard and the kids play well together most days so I can interact with all three of them at the same time.
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#40 of 50 Old 09-17-2009, 09:00 AM
 
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Three was a lot more work than two. Four wasn't much of a difference from three, because my oldest was actually helpful.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds   11yo dd  9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds  
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#41 of 50 Old 09-17-2009, 03:47 PM
 
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Jill stillheart.gif Chris (7/96), mommy to 3 sweet redheads: jumpers.gif Matthew autismribbon.gif (12/02), Michelle (8/05) and Marissa (1/10). Nursing since 2002.
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#42 of 50 Old 09-18-2009, 05:21 PM
 
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It depends on their ages and temperments. For me, three was just as easy because by the time I had the third, I had a 7 year old daughter who was so helpful. My biggest adjustment was having a newborn after having been out of the baby phase for 5 years.
Me too. My youngest (prior to the new baby) was already 6. My nearly 9 yr old DD is a big help too. It's been easy honestly (well as easy as newborns can be LOL). The hardest part is getting used to the sleep deprivation and dealing with carseats in the car.

Basically DH goes on duty for the older 2 and I tend to the baby. It really has been much much easier to add #3 in then I thought it would be.

Maybe it gets crazier when baby is bigger. I come from a family of 4 kids so this isn't too bad.

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#43 of 50 Old 09-22-2009, 09:34 PM
 
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We have four and are hoping for more. So far, the hardest transition was from one child to two, maybe because DD1 has always been really high-needs and needed more than I could give. The first six months of DD2's life were rough on all of us... it really was just one day at a time. We have a routine now and we just... slot the new one in. But DD3&4 are both very mellow, laid-back small people, I imagine things would be very, very different if they weren't.

I've been pregnant and/or nursing for the best part of seven years. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without it - but the people I get from it are absolutely worth it. Wouldn't have it any other way!

Annie '02, Juliet '04, Natalie '07, Maggie '08, Theodore 11/8/10.
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#44 of 50 Old 09-24-2009, 05:01 AM
 
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Hi there Im 25 and have 4 kids...alot of my friends are either child less or have one kid. I only know two other moms who have 4 or more like me

Heres my unscientific theory that I tell people who ask what 4 is like.

If you enjoy quiet, privacy and your belongings then do not have more than 2.

Its not always loud but I can dang guarantee there is an annoying sound coming from somewhere 90 percent of the time. A toy, someone sucking an ice pop..someone singing off key to themselves while they tappa tappa their shoes on the tile...

I am not always being spied on but with 3 or more I have NEVER taken a shower without someone knocking..even my DH is guilty "umm are you almost done??" And I cant get dressed unless the door is locked. My kids will broadcast to everyone what kind of underwear I have, and they dont mean to see they just figure oh wheres mom? suprise!

And if its not on a very top shelf or under lock and key you can count on it being broken or borrowed. I just cant keep my eyes on them 24/7 and all it takes is one to be gone for 5 minutes and then you get to spend the next hour trying to remove your favorite lipstick from your grandmas mirror she gave you.(this happened to me)

But I love them and cant live without em. The other stuff I listed above I dont really care about most of the time. But some could find it overwhelming. Youll know in your heart what you can handle

Christine domestically challenged wife to George and Mama to Helena 8 Laila 6 Dom 4 and Mina 2
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#45 of 50 Old 09-24-2009, 11:23 AM
 
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If you enjoy quiet, privacy and your belongings then do not have more than 2.


That is definitely true! I have found that the people I know who like/can handle noise, chaos, and mess generally enjoy 4 or more littles more than someone who doesn't do well with those things.

I LOVE that kind of chaos and my house actually feels a little empty with only 4. My dh doesn't care about mess, but chaos and noise is difficult for him and he feels as though 4 is a lot of kids.


 

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#46 of 50 Old 09-24-2009, 06:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by AppleMush View Post
Hi there Im 25 and have 4 kids...alot of my friends are either child less or have one kid. I only know two other moms who have 4 or more like me

Heres my unscientific theory that I tell people who ask what 4 is like.

If you enjoy quiet, privacy and your belongings then do not have more than 2.
Hmmm. Well, even with two I have no privacy, quiet, or alone time. I kind of figure that we're in our 'kid phase' right now, and someday we'll have time for each other and ourselves again

Me,yummy.gif   DS, Peace.gif and DDdust.gif Grateful to the baby I lost for sticking around long enough to teach me what I needed to know so badly  candle.gif  We  love our forest valley home, our goats and chickenschicken3.gif, and wild harvested food-medicine coolshine.gif

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#47 of 50 Old 09-24-2009, 09:24 PM
 
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I'm 27 with 5 and honestly, if car space wasn't an issue I'd love to have more. in my personal experience going from 1 to 2 was the hardest.. 3 to 4, 4 to 5, all gravy... But then, we haven't had any issues a lot of my friends with 2 have had, with jealousy or acting out or anything...
They do love to play with eachother, but they also each like to have alone time, which can be a bit tricky but not undoable. Of course, with more kids it's harder sharing your time, but, imo, it is SO so worth it

♥ SAHM to my 5 kiddos ♥
2/01, 12/02, 4/05, 7/06 and 10/08
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#48 of 50 Old 09-26-2009, 01:10 AM
 
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Obviously I can only speak to my own experience which includes specific personalities and spacing, but I love it. It was hard for me going from 0 to 1, less hard from 1 to 2, VERY hard from 2 to 3 (although granted at that point I had three under five years old,) and lovely going from 3 to 4. When my last was born my oldest was going on 8 and really a lot of help. I'd also relaxed into parenting (becoming progressively more AP) and life in general, and as well our financial/living situation became more stable, everything just came together.

Now my youngest is 5 and my oldest is 12, and it is so great. They are really a close-knit group and they are really good at entertaining each other. Yes, it's financially more of a strain, and there is more noise than there would be otherwise, but I am so glad for every one of them and really can't imagine having it any other way.
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#49 of 50 Old 09-26-2009, 04:40 AM
 
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I have 4. 11, 8, 5, 9m
My older kids help out a lot. I have never asked them they just do it. They do cloth diapers and all!!
going from 1 to 2 was hard. adding 3 was not hard. adding the 4th was hard a first mostly because we had not had a baby in the house for a while.
we are a very busy family. I belong to several committees and organizations that require me to be gone a lot and having the baby with me can make it very difficult to get anything done. We live in the car, we must spend 4 hours a day in it.
going to the store is not so hard ( remember i have older kids to help out) but going to the library or an outdoor activity is where i have the hard time.

i really like having my 4 even though #4 was not planned. I do not think i could do a 5th, but if it happened i know my kids are able and willing to play a major part in helping to raise their sibling.
I love the fact my children play such a major roll. They all feel a part of the whole family growing.
nothing beats watching my son take a his baby sister and laydown with her to help her go to sleep. or seeing my oldest try to teach her little sister how to read. or the 5y help the 11yr bath the baby and get her ready for bed while I read to my son. (yes my DH is around with all of this) they just take it on themselves. No one asks, no one suggest, they just do and have done it from the start.
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#50 of 50 Old 09-26-2009, 01:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AppleMush View Post

Heres my unscientific theory that I tell people who ask what 4 is like.

If you enjoy quiet, privacy and your belongings then do not have more than 2.

Its not always loud but I can dang guarantee there is an annoying sound coming from somewhere 90 percent of the time. A toy, someone sucking an ice pop..someone singing off key to themselves while they tappa tappa their shoes on the tile...

I am not always being spied on but with 3 or more I have NEVER taken a shower without someone knocking..even my DH is guilty "umm are you almost done??" And I cant get dressed unless the door is locked. My kids will broadcast to everyone what kind of underwear I have, and they dont mean to see they just figure oh wheres mom? suprise!

And if its not on a very top shelf or under lock and key you can count on it being broken or borrowed. I just cant keep my eyes on them 24/7 and all it takes is one to be gone for 5 minutes and then you get to spend the next hour trying to remove your favorite lipstick from your grandmas mirror she gave you.(this happened to me)

But I love them and cant live without em. The other stuff I listed above I dont really care about most of the time. But some could find it overwhelming. Youll know in your heart what you can handle

This post made me I love it!!!

Wife to my of 10 years, SAHM to my 2 beautiful homebirthed girls Sydney (4/29/2006) Kennedy (3/21/2010) & 1 super Newfoundland
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