SAHMs- Do you take care of another child? Need advice! - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-24-2010, 11:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi SAHMs!
I was wondering if any of you take care of another child in your home. I may be having another SAHM take care of my DS when I go back to work. When I mentioned this to a friend she was concerned that it would be my child vs her child. She meant that her child would always come first and my child wouldn't get the love and attention he might get if he were at a daycare center with lots of children who were not biologically linked to the provider. Do you ever feel this way or has the child you care for become part of your family? Let me know and thank you!
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Old 01-24-2010, 02:31 PM
 
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Hi,

I am a SAHM and I care for my friends 3 year old 3 afternoons a week incl picking her up at school and taking her to school and picking her up to take her to grandma's on Fridays

Anyway DS is 2 and she has very much become a part of our family. I actually worry that I put her needs before DS as she is a bit more demanding then DS (he loves to play on his own and spend time just exploring etc) Also she has a schedule, we have to be at her school by 1 to get her so sometimes DS' nap gets, cut short, delayed or he naps in the car, etc However it is a great arrangement and I feel it gives DS the opportunity to have a "sibling" without the full commitment .

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Old 01-24-2010, 10:21 PM
 
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I've been caring for my best friend's dd(I call her my niece) since she was born,5 years ago.I don't get paid,her mom really cannot afford to pay me but I don't mind at all.Ds was 3 and dd was 6 at the time.She is very much a part of my family.I have her every weekend,sometimes during the week as well,especially in the summer.Her mom works as a CNA and medtech so I even have her on holidays.When she does doubles I have dn overnight.

My ds is autistic and requires a lot of attention,but I always made sure dn had the attention and love she deserves.It's much easier now that they are 5,8 and 11.I taking care of her.I've always wanted to have another child,and since that isn't going to happen for many reasons,she is the closest I'll ever have.I treat her like my own.

Student mama to one awesome,talented and unique dd,15 and one amazing, sweet and strong ds,12(born with heart defect Tetralogy of Fallot,also on the autism spectrum),9 cats,and 2 gerbils.
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Old 01-25-2010, 01:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for your story
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Old 01-26-2010, 03:16 AM
 
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I did care for another little girl for several years. My friends pointed out several times that I didn't treat the kids the same. It's really hard to treat another child like your own. They have different rules and expectations and their house, so you're always trying to get them to follow different rules, etc. However, the little girl did become quite close with our family and my child. Unfortunately her father decided to put her in daycare one day and never talk to us again, it was really hard on my son. (He was a single father that had a crush on me. He got discruntled when I married someone else and didn't want to talk to me anymore).

Anyway, overall I think home daycares are better than big box centers, but it is true that your child will not be treated the same.

Abra, Married to George, Mother to DS 12/03 & DD1 08/09 & DD2 12/11 + Someone New in May 2015! After years of planning, we are finally living our dream in South America!!
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Old 01-26-2010, 11:58 PM
 
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It's very hard, with other children, to treat them exactly the same as your own, because of different rules, and the expectations of the parents, etc. And lacking permission, I couldn't nurse a baby like I would my own, either, yk? There are a few things that are very intense and part of bonding with my own kids that a friends kid wouldn't get from me.

However, I care for other's children off and on and mostly, they are pretty much treated like my own. They play with my kids, they help clean up, they eat with us if they're here during a meal, they're corrected for the same things my kids are corrected. If they fall, I pick 'em up and kiss them and then send them back to play, just like I would for my own. I don't let my children annoy them or be rude to them, because it's not acceptable in our house period. If they asked to be picked up and hugged, I do it. I don't treat them with kid gloves but I do give them the same kind of affection my own children get.
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Old 01-27-2010, 12:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Cappuccinosmom...I think what you do is great! It sounds like the children you care for are treated as equals to your own children. I think that would make any mom feel that their child is being loved.
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