Am I alone feeling this way? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 04-10-2010, 02:28 AM - Thread Starter
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I have been a stay at home mom ( I do work every other Sunday) for 3 1/2yrs. I feel like my brain is going to mush. I read, and can of course hold conversations with other adults sew, bake and do have hobbies but I feel that isn't enough to retain my brain cells.

Just wondering if other SAHP feel this way ever or if I am just some kind of freak. What do you do to help you NOT feel this way?

~Katie~ married to J, mom to DD- A 13 yrs ,DS- L 7yrs , and my little nursling DD2- R 5yrs.


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#2 of 7 Old 04-10-2010, 01:10 PM
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I feel the same way. I pretty much decided I need to start homeschooling myself during this time. More of an unschooling approach, but making sure I intentionally schedule in the reading/book or research work into my week. It will mean cutting out computer/fun reading time, but I am really looking forward to it just the same.

I like organizing things, so I am heading out to the store to pick up a planner today. I will set aside certain nap times or an hour of nap times, and or evenings to work on different interests. I want to go into wildlife biology one day, so I ordered a college/grad level text book from Amazon and will spend part of the time working through that. This will improve my math, science and critical thinking skills. I already have a BA in Biology, so I have the core covered, though I don't really remember much since leaving school 4 years ago. I am hoping this will refresh my memory. I also want to pick up some historical fiction books, or some books on different cultures, since I have been interested in those topics recently.

I only have one toddler (17 months), so that makes things easier in some ways. I also know we won't be having more kids, and will be homeschooling, so I know there will be opportunities to continue my studies in the future. I think I would like to start doing some wildlife observations as well, which I can easily do with a toddler in tow. Hopefully it will be fun, but I guess if it isn't working we'll make adjustments.

I think for some staying home with the kids is not enough, actually probably for most. You need to find some interests that work the other parts of your brain as well. Whether it is subscribing to some informative magazines, Popular Mechanics, Popular Science, National Geographic, the New Yorker..., doing book work, reading as much as possible, or taking classes; I think we need to find a way to keep our brains engaged as well.

Hope that was helpful, I'm sure others have some different ideas.
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#3 of 7 Old 04-10-2010, 01:27 PM
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I totally felt this way when my oldest was about 3 1/2. I had an 18 month old too. I remember I started working again part time and making the most ridiculous mistakes and typos in emails and such. I had a hard time for a while. It did come back though after maybe a good 6 months.

I've stopped working and am about to have number 3. I fear this. So I've scheduled some workshops and learning opportunities for myself for the summer. I hope it helps!
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#4 of 7 Old 04-10-2010, 01:31 PM
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Oh yeah! I'm with you. I've lost my patience, focus and concentration. Today I saw an article in the newspaper about a subject that I wish I knew more about, but I just don't have the patience to read it.
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#5 of 7 Old 06-12-2010, 07:05 PM
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I think that everyone (including adults) need activities that are a part of their lives that are stimulating, thought provoking, and encourage personal growth. That being said, it can be very hard to fit traditional schooling etc... into a busy parents lifestyle. I would recommend the following:
  1. A book club: the structure and group setting can help bring greater meaning to any book you may be reading.
  2. An online class: many universities, including some Ivy League institutions, are offering free or inexpensive online courses in a multitude of subjects).
  3. Attend free lectures or events in your area: I live in a university town and am amazed by the number of free lectures and events. If you cannot commit to a regular meeting time this is a great way to fit in stimulation when you have an opening in your schedule.
  4. Join a group that reflects your hobbies: I realize that knitting is not an intellectual activity per se. However, sometimes all I need is some adult conversation. Having a group full of smart adults to talk to is valuable regardless of the meeting's initial purpose. In less urban areas it may be much easier to find craft or hobby groups to join than a university to drive to.

Good luck with everything.

Mama~Blogger~Artist~Homemaker. Family = DH (married 6 years), baby Elinor, and our puppy Frances.
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#6 of 7 Old 06-13-2010, 11:24 PM
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It's summer, so I am treating the world as one Big Giant Summer Camp for myself by doing semi-ridiculous activities I'd never, ever do, like taking a computer programming class at the community college that kicked my butt that was fabulous. I am learning how to do all sorts of crazy things with felt, and I am reading a bunch of books that moms have written about motherhood. I'm teaching myself to sew really well, just finished a quilt this Friday, and want to learn really neato digital photography methods. I am out of control and it's fun.

Treat the world like your summer camp and go for it. Learn a new skill or put yourself in a position that forces you to use your brain in some sort of problem solving method, and I swear you will start to have lots of fun and feel good about yourself that might be missing!

Mama to 2 little darling squooshy faces
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#7 of 7 Old 06-14-2010, 10:41 PM
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I feel this way... and I feel like I have no time to do anything about...
But, that's also because I don't make time. I have decided to take my church up on it's Monday "mom's day out" child care program. 5 hours every week! I almost don't know what I will do with myself!!
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