is 24 hours away too much to ask?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 24 Old 04-25-2010, 04:55 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm curious as to when other mom's took an overnight trip away from the family.
My DD is 16 month and though I love to spend time with her I need a loooong break(though I'll take just one full day) I've never been away from her for more than 4 hours and I just need some time alone.

Only problem is I'm still nursing during the day and she nurses right before bed time and right when she wake up. I think one day with out nursing should be ok. My husband could give her cows or goat's milk instead and though she would be a bit upset not to nurse before bedtime , but she normally falls asleep on her on.

any thoughts? Have any other nursing SAHM's gotten a full day (and night!) break?
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#2 of 24 Old 04-25-2010, 05:05 PM
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I wasn't away from my dd overnight until she was 3.5 yo and mostly done nursing. When she was that little and still nursing a lot, I think 4 hours would have been easily about our max. That said, I do know moms who have gone away for several days and pumped, etc.-- but my dd still needed me to get to sleep at that age and I never even tried pumping or giving her ebm, so I guess it just wasn't part of my expectations with a tiny one. Now that she's 4yo, however, I'm counting the days until my parents can come visit so that dh and I can get away for a night alone!
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#3 of 24 Old 04-25-2010, 09:35 PM
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Will she take a bottle or sippy cup? If so, then I don't see any issue with getting away for 24 hours.

I try to honor those times when I *know* I need a break. If you have the chance, take it.

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#4 of 24 Old 04-25-2010, 11:08 PM
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We went away for an overnight when our daughter was 20 months old. She still nurses a lot, but I'm pregnant and my supply is down anyway so I know it's mostly comfort. She did great. The babysitter had a harder time than she did.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#5 of 24 Old 04-28-2010, 02:17 PM
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I know many who do that after DC is over a year old. I left DH with 2 kiddos, one just at 2 and the other at 7 last summer for three days. A bunch of us SAHMs went to the beach for the weekend. It was heavenly. Now it has become something that we will continue to do every year. DH also liked getting the freedom to do a weekend golf trip once a year. Maybe try someplace in town where DH could call you in case DD is falling apart (I mean really falling apart)

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#6 of 24 Old 04-28-2010, 02:22 PM
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I went away overnight when my DD was around 17 months old. I needed it! It was for a bachelorette party, and I left around 2 pm and came back around 12 the next morning. Even though I drank a bit went to sleep around 3 am, I woke up after 6 straight hours of sleep and was soooo rested! I wish I could do that once a month!

We, of course, are still nursing, but DH gave DD a bottle before bed. He said she went right to sleep, no problems. We have a family bed so they went to bed around the same time, and he swears she STTN. She was SO excited to see me the next day, showing off all her toys like I'd never seen them before. It was so worth it. I hope you get to take one night for yourself, it's like recharging your batteries!

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn ('08) and Finnley Dax ('11) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#7 of 24 Old 04-28-2010, 02:27 PM
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Just to echo the above posters - I left my daughter with my husband and went camping with some friends when she was about 14 months. I had to pump a lot, but my daughter did just fine! It was really good bonding time for my husband too; he got to do the bedtime thing, the feeding thing, and lots of playing and cuddling. It was well worth it for me, even though I had to drag a pump out into the woods with me!

Go, and have fun!

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#8 of 24 Old 04-28-2010, 06:49 PM
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I haven't spent any time away.

DD 5.5 years old
dd 3 years old.

I wish I could.
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#9 of 24 Old 04-28-2010, 07:00 PM
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Not until they are weaned and comfortable being away from me that long. My 5 yo just had an overnight within the last year for the first time. Otherwise I bring the kids wherever I'm going...but I've never been to a bachelorette party or anything they can't go to like that and don't really like those things anyway. I'd rather take them all camping or go to a movie with a friend. I get nervous without them around that long!

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#10 of 24 Old 04-28-2010, 07:09 PM
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I have never been away overnight from my DS yet. At 16 months I don't think it would have flown at all for us. If I had the right opportunity I would consider it now (he is 2 months shy of 3 and has been weaned for a few months). I find that I am usually sufficiently recharged by 2 hours away taken frequently (weekly) and greatly anticipated, though of course, your mileage can and will vary.

I hope you are able to take care of your needs somehow, even if you have to be creative!

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#11 of 24 Old 04-28-2010, 08:19 PM
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I went to VT (about 2.5 hours away) when DD was 2.5. I was gone less than 24 hours. It was wonderful. When she was 3, I visited a friend out of state for 3 nights. That was a little long for me, but it was rejuvenating and DD had a great time w/ DH.

DS just turned 1. I don't think I'd try it until he's sleeping through the night and nursing a lot less. I've started fantasizing about it, though.

Crafty Mama to 5 year old DD and 1 year old DS.
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#12 of 24 Old 04-28-2010, 10:58 PM
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I'm leaving my 18 mo dd with my parents while I go on a trip with my dh. She still nurses about 3 times a day (and not during the night) and I'm going to try to get it down to about once per day before I go.

When she was 14 mo, I needed to be with my other dd in the hospital and left her for hours at a time, over normal feeding times, and she was totally fine. This time will be harder, leaving her overnight. I'm actually not as worried about her missing nursing...I'm more worried about her missing me. I wonder if she'll let grandma comfort her when she realizes that I'm not there. At home, when she wakes up in the night and dh tries to take care of her she throws HUGE fit. She goes right back to sleep for me. So....we'll have to see what happens.

Good luck to you! I think you should take your trip!
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#13 of 24 Old 04-28-2010, 11:11 PM
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I'm not comfortable with it until 2 or 3 depending on the kid.

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#14 of 24 Old 04-29-2010, 02:20 AM
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Do it.

Don't let the idea of getting away for a break become more than it is in your head.

Remember that many people are away from their children all day every day. My DD started daycare at 19 months. She was exhausted when I picked her up, but entirely fine. She had been nursing multiple times a day at that time and nothing changes with that.

I did my first over night away from her at about that time too. She stayed with DH and did just fine.
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#15 of 24 Old 04-29-2010, 11:07 AM
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I've had one overnight (not hospitalization) away. My kids were 12 months and almost 3 (35 months).

The 12 month old was still nursing, but he took a bottle, and I knew he'd been fine. I was hospitalized for 5 days when he was 9 months old, and he was fine then, so that eased my fears.

Honestly? It was really nice to get away, but I'm not clamoring for it again or anything. I prefer smaller snippets of time here and there. I have been to 5 cooking classes (about 3 hours away) since the first of the year that are heavenly. On the weekends, I frequently go to the grocery store or library by myself. I've gone shopping all day a few times on a weekend. Last night, I let my almost 4 year old spend the night with grandma for the first time. These type of things refresh me more than a big 24 hour trip does.
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#16 of 24 Old 04-29-2010, 04:46 PM
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My cousin is paying for me to fly out to Oregon this summer (It's about a 8 hour flight from where I live) I'm going to be gone from July 4th through the 9th. I made sure that ds2 was weaned (for the trip and unhealing sores on my nipples) and is sleeping through the night. He'll be almost 22 months by then. I'm sure he'll be fine. If you think your dc can handle it, along with whomever she'll be staying with, I say go for it.

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#17 of 24 Old 04-29-2010, 04:50 PM
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My son is about to turn 5 and my daughter is 2.5 and I still have yet to spend more than a few hours away from them at a time and I leave them with my husband during those hours. Sometimes I feel like I could use a break as well, I just can't bring myself to do it! If you feel like you are able and you need it and it would "refresh" you then I'd say go for it.

Mama to (DS 7) and (DD 5), wife to DH

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#18 of 24 Old 05-03-2010, 04:43 PM
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At 20 months, I'm lucky to get an occasional hour sans baby. I start feeling uneasy around 3 hours without her.

I can't imagine 24 hours now, let alone at 16 months.

Mind you, without those occasional hours here and there, I'd NEED a 24 hour break.
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#19 of 24 Old 05-03-2010, 05:00 PM
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My oldest is 3.5 yo and I haven't left him overnight yet. If we had family in the area, I'm sure he would have done a sleepover at this point with the grandparents already, but since they are all out of town, it's never happened.

I can honestly say that I have no strong desires to be away from the kids overnight, particularly without my DH. I do a "mom's night out" fairly regularly (maybe once a month?) and that seems to work to keep me sane. Also, my DH helps A LOT once he gets home from work every evening. Maybe more frequent, shorter breaks would help?
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#20 of 24 Old 05-03-2010, 10:37 PM
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If you feel comfortable with it, then it will be fine. Really. That's the main thing.

It is wonderful to have that time away and you are a better mama when you get back!

Jessica: wife to my farmer and homeschooling mama to three girls and two boys

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#21 of 24 Old 05-04-2010, 12:54 AM
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No, it is not too much to ask, but all toddlers are different, so it's really hard to make the call for somebody else. I would NOT have done it when DD was 16mo because she was hopeless with DH and all babysitters. Around 2 she had a sleepover with a very understanding grandma even though she wasn't weaned or STTN, and she did fine. DS has been extremely chill about alone time with Papa or even the gym daycare so I'm sure that my comfort zone for an overnight without him will come much earlier.
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#22 of 24 Old 05-04-2010, 01:04 AM
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It's not something that I would have considered at that age. But we were nursing throughout the night until until DS was 2.5, and now at almost 3 it's still how he initially goes to sleep.

He has had one overnight at a friends house 2 months ago, but it was unplanned and his decision. (I stayed up all night waiting for the phone to ring to come pick him up. )

I don't really have much desire to spend the night apart though. I love having an evening out alone with DH every so often. And I need a few times per week where I get several hours to myself. But having one really long stretch doesn't mean much to me.
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#23 of 24 Old 05-08-2010, 01:18 AM
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I'm comfortable with it after my child hits 2 or 2 1/2 years. Our older three have all been with dh overnight. I don't think I've gone away overnight since we had #4. I am hoping to go to the DONA conference in August and that would mean me going without children.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds   11yo dd  9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds  
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#24 of 24 Old 05-18-2010, 08:34 PM - Thread Starter
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thanks for all the responses...I just checked in and read a bunch of new ones. So good to get other like minded momma's perspectives.

I think if I don't do it now I might lose my chance for a while and I just need to recharge. Plus...I'm actually going to pick up our car in Seattle as we are relocating, so I'm helping our family really . I'll just happen to stay over with my best girl friend for some me time.

I have to give it up for my DH who is willing to let me go for a bit...
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