same old question I'm sure, but new from me... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 04-26-2010, 03:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm sure you've heard this same scenario over and over again before, but it is SO tearing for me.

Just had my third child. Oldest is almost three and a half. Youngest is 11 weeks-sweet boy. Been working as a nurse, I am only dedicated to work 4 days a month-12 hour shifts. My body and spirit says dont go back!! I need to report by May 2nd. I have no more leave left. Some would think it ridiculous that I am even having this issue because it is only 4 days, but I dont want anyone telling me what to do, or when to do it. I want to concentrate on my family only. NO DISTRACTIONS.

THe reasons I am leaning on going back is fear. Fear of my husband losing his job(no indication of this). Fear that they wont take me back if I need it. Fear that we wont be able to afford the things that we need on one salary.

Any advice from anyone on how to make my final decision or encouraging words. Thanks.

Super mom to a 5 1/2 year old girl, almost 4 yr old girl, and 2 year old boy.

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#2 of 13 Old 04-26-2010, 01:43 PM
 
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It's funny, my dh and I calculated how much I would bring home if we both worked and I had the same salary and hours as he does, and we figured out that after childcare and taxes I would keep 25% of my income. Of that 25% at least half would go to convenience expenses ( a second car, housekeeping, dog walkers, eating out etc.) The real kicker is that since I work very part time now, but get quite a bit per hour I bring home about the same amount of money as I would if I were in some high powered financial job. Because I work evenings and weekends I don't pay for childcare. And because I don't make that much money we aren't penalized with taxes. Take a close look at your taxes and see how much of your current paycheck you actually take home. If you can cut back to say one 12 hour shift on the weekend you may actually bring home about the same amount as you would if you were working more than that. Good luck!

Wife to amazing dh, mama to dd 12/08
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#3 of 13 Old 04-26-2010, 01:49 PM
 
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Are there a lot of nursing jobs in your area? If so, I would probably quit knowing that if need be I could find work quickly in the future. 4 shifts a month doesn't sound bad at all - but, I can see why you would prefer to not work at all and focus soley on your family. If you can swing it financially w/o your income, I'd say give it a try for awhile just living off what your DH makes. If it's not working out, you can seek employment again.

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#4 of 13 Old 04-26-2010, 02:32 PM
 
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Will you just let your license expire? How does reinstating a license work if you decide to go back once the kids are older?

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#5 of 13 Old 04-26-2010, 02:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by abiyhayil View Post
Will you just let your license expire? How does reinstating a license work if you decide to go back once the kids are older?
No, I would not let it expire. I would keep up on the education and renew it every time just in case.

The thing is that nursing jobs are much harder to find now, at least at my hospital as they are on a hiring freeze. Scary,,,

Super mom to a 5 1/2 year old girl, almost 4 yr old girl, and 2 year old boy.

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#6 of 13 Old 04-27-2010, 08:40 AM
 
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No, I would not let it expire. I would keep up on the education and renew it every time just in case.

The thing is that nursing jobs are much harder to find now, at least at my hospital as they are on a hiring freeze. Scary,,,
Oh ok, I thought you had to clock in a certain # of hrs

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#7 of 13 Old 04-27-2010, 08:50 AM
 
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Concentrate on your family! I say, GO FOR IT! They are only little for such a short period of time. If your current employer wont take you back when you are ready then they arent the ones for you. Find somewhere else. Somewhere better. If and when you want to go back. If DH were to lose his job then cross that bridge when the time comes. You will be amazed at how much you really dont need when you are making the budget out for one income. Best wishes momma!
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#8 of 13 Old 04-27-2010, 09:51 AM
 
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Well, if I were you I would go back but consider it in my mind to be a trial to see how it feels. One or two or three months, whatever feels right. I totally understand the not wanting anything, even just four shifts a month, to interfere with your comittment to your family. However, you and pps have noted some good reasons to hang on to your job. You may discover that four shifts a month doesn't bother you at all or that it even has some social benefits for you. Or it will confirm that this is the right time to quit and then you can truly celebrate the decision without any nagging doubts.

This is what I did. Before DS came along, I loved my job and so I really didn't know what to do because I also wanted to spend all my time with him. The decision to go back to work has 100% confirmed for my DH and I that we would prefer me to SAH. Unfortunately part time isn't an option where I work so it's been a really hard experiment but now we're a few months away from me quitting for good and I'm glad that I'll be certain that it's the right decision when I do it.

Happy mumma to my boys Henny Tom (Nov 30, 2008), Arlo Odie (Oct 5, 2010), and baby SISTER! due mid-Dec 2014.
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#9 of 13 Old 04-27-2010, 01:28 PM
 
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It is such a hard and personal decision as to what to do. IMHO, I would go back if I had reliable, trustworthy childcare available. Maybe even free. If I did have to pay, I would want to make sure it all equaled out and I wasn't paying what I was making just for childcare.

My reasoning for going back is-you are keeping your foot in the door. There might be a time in the future when that is a really good thing. You are keeping your skills up-to-date. It is extra money. Have you talked to your DH about how you are feeling? How does he feel?

Good luck with your decision!

~*Heather*~
Wife to J 9/00 Mama to K 12/05
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#10 of 13 Old 04-28-2010, 02:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Bug-a-Boo's Mama View Post
It is such a hard and personal decision as to what to do. IMHO, I would go back if I had reliable, trustworthy childcare available. Maybe even free. If I did have to pay, I would want to make sure it all equaled out and I wasn't paying what I was making just for childcare.

My reasoning for going back is-you are keeping your foot in the door. There might be a time in the future when that is a really good thing. You are keeping your skills up-to-date. It is extra money. Have you talked to your DH about how you are feeling? How does he feel?

Good luck with your decision!
He says whatever my decision is, he supports it. Feels so good to hear that.

Super mom to a 5 1/2 year old girl, almost 4 yr old girl, and 2 year old boy.

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#11 of 13 Old 04-28-2010, 03:44 AM
 
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I say, as long as you have taken a close look at your budget (what income you will be losing and what expenses you will lose AND gain by sah), and can honestly do it (maybe the only expense you will have to cut is transportation to work, but if you would have to cut your daily Starbucks to once a week, can you REALLY do it without hating it and splurging), go for it. True, if you have to go back, you might run into a hiring freeze at the hospital you currently work for, but if you keep your license and everything current, remember there are options for private nursing care or respit care as well. Nursing has a lot of options besides just hospitals and nursing homes. Good luck!!
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#12 of 13 Old 04-29-2010, 07:42 AM
 
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I would go for it, as it sounds like you have thought it through thoroughly and your husband supports your wish to stay home.

I am a nurse. Although my workplace had a hiring freeze for a long time, they are now starting to ease up on it and hiring quite a few people. And as someone said, there are so many options in nursing if you do need to go back in down the road.

I typically only work 1-2 shifts a week, but I know how even that much can feel like too much, because I anticipate it for a day or two and then decompress for a day or two. Definitely carries over into how present I am with my kids, even working very part time.

I think it is pretty common, especially in nursing, to stay home for a few years and then get back into it. I personally know one coworker who stayed home for 9 years with her kids, then took a refresher course and landed a job in the exact specialty she always wanted!

“War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.”
― George Orwell, 1984
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#13 of 13 Old 05-01-2010, 02:58 PM
 
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If you can swing it financially & your husband is totally onboard, I say go for it. I've never looked back.
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