Join Date: Dec 2009
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AP Mom to 5
I'm a SAHM with a 9 month old and pregnant (1st trimester now). I'm feeling down and I need a lift and some inspiration. There are a few things going on:
- Physically tired and and nauseated all day, so I end up staying home doing nothing, going through the motion, dragging my feet trying to get through the day, waiting for husband to come home to rescue me. Feeling tired, sick, and doing nothing all day make me depressed.
- Feeling very unattractive, heavy, not sexy, not myself. The pregnancy side of it is that I don't have anything to wear that makes me feel good - no longer fit in regular clothes and don't want to wear maternity clothes because I don't want to show I'm pregnant yet. I just don't know what to wear anymore. And even if I wasn't pregnant I'd still feel unattractive because with a 9 month old, I have no time and priority to maintain myself and make myself pretty (a shower is probably the most I get, and I shaved for the first time in 3 weeks yesterday). With very limited time, money, and energy, what do you do to feel attractive? This is quite important to me, feeling like this really brings me down. And I scare myself about how I have become this way...
- Don't have any energy to interact with & keep up with my son (9month old). He wants to go everywhere and touch everything, but he can't walk and can't do many things. I find it extremely difficult to entertain him in a very small apartment (with a dog at home so I can't even let him just craw on the floor freely). The floor is always dirty no matter how often I clean it (dog hair), and even if I clean up a spot and put the dog in his kenel for a moment, I still can't let him go anywhere freely because I have to watch so he doesn't fall & bump his head on hard floor. It just takes a lot of energy out of me to let him play at home safely. I think I should just take him out to places for more stimulation and fun, but again, I just don't have the energy... Even when we do go out, he can't stand staying on the carrier, stroller, or shopping cart for long; he gets bored. He wants to get down and do his thing, but it's not like he can really do much, or even walk... Anyways, I want to interact, entertain, stimulate him and pay more attention to him, but it just feels so difficult to me now.
- Feeling isolated - transitioning from ambitious career women to SAHM, I really haven't found any like-minded SAHMs who I can be close to. With my life situations & stages changing so fast, I really haven't had any real close, trusted friends in the last few years, and at this time I just don't have the energy & motivation to get out and socialize.
- Breastfeeding & the whole sleep regression with my son wears me out. The breastfeeding itself is ok if he just wanted to be fed. But many times, he wants to hold on to the boob and fall asleep with nipple in his mouth for a good half an hour (sometimes more) before he settles. I can't sleep with him on the nipple. All the pacifying and holding is sometimes making me feel very annoyed.
I'd like any ideas to help me get out of this rut...