Some days SAHMing doesn't feel too great. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 05-12-2010, 09:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Dh had to go to another city to receive an award for excellence So when he came home yesterday and started to pack is when it struck me. I'm as well educated as he is. I worked as hard as he did pre-kids. I thought I'd have a career as much as he does before becoming a SAHP. I enjoy this role most days but sometimes it pinches, like yesterday. He didn't really even want to go and here I was envying him for it. After all, once he got there he'd have a whole day of planned activities (they're going to a play, touring around, then getting ready for a blacktie dinner/award ceremony), coworkers who appreciate all he does, a spot in the limelight when he receivess the award etc. And here I am with just another day spent cleaning bums, getting food on the table even if I'm not hungry, mediating disputes, naptime, you know the rigmarole. With 2 young 'uns it's not like I'm getting any "thank you, person, for taking care of all our needs and loving us. We appreciate you." or anything. I'm sad. Will I ever be content with my life again?

Just a vent more than anything else. Could use some virtual hugs right now
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#2 of 7 Old 05-12-2010, 09:40 AM
 
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Here's a hug.

I just think anything you do day in, day out gets to be a grind. He gets perks like the occasional trip and award, and even though you deal with the bum-wiping--you probably also get some perks he envies--making your own schedule, parenting your way, spending more time in your home...

But some days it just doesn't feel like it. Hope something good happens to turn your day around.
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#3 of 7 Old 05-12-2010, 10:22 AM
 
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I still work (from home) but I miss out on all the parts of work I actually liked (I loved business meetings call me weird), co-worker interaction, recognition lunches, just the occasional 'pat on the back' that you never get WAH or SAH. I love staying home with DS & some days (like when we're having a blast at the park or the zoo on a sunny afternoon) I am sooo happy I chose to do this -- and other days I watch DH go off and feel a twinge of envy & wonder if I will ever get that satisfaction of working at a job I love again.

Anyway, so I think I understand how you feel Maybe doing something really fun with the kids today will cheer you up & remind you of why you chose to be a SAHM?

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#4 of 7 Old 05-12-2010, 10:36 AM
 
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Wookie, just wanted to send some sympathy your way. I totally get it. My husband just went away to a conference, and there was of course fun activities planned, and he likes the socializing, etc. He works so hard and definitely deserves some R&R -- and this wasn't even a vacation, it really was another work function, albeit a more social one. I was fine until the 3rd day, when I completely melted down and was a big, crying mess on the phone to him. The next day I was kind of embarrassed about it all. For me, I think it has to do with feeling left behind, left alone.

I hope you're feeling better. You are definitely not alone in this one.
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#5 of 7 Old 05-18-2010, 06:09 AM
 
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Originally Posted by wookie View Post
Dh had to go to another city to receive an award for excellence So when he came home yesterday and started to pack is when it struck me. I'm as well educated as he is. I worked as hard as he did pre-kids. I thought I'd have a career as much as he does before becoming a SAHP. I enjoy this role most days but sometimes it pinches, like yesterday. He didn't really even want to go and here I was envying him for it. After all, once he got there he'd have a whole day of planned activities (they're going to a play, touring around, then getting ready for a blacktie dinner/award ceremony), coworkers who appreciate all he does, a spot in the limelight when he receivess the award etc. And here I am with just another day spent cleaning bums, getting food on the table even if I'm not hungry, mediating disputes, naptime, you know the rigmarole. With 2 young 'uns it's not like I'm getting any "thank you, person, for taking care of all our needs and loving us. We appreciate you." or anything. I'm sad. Will I ever be content with my life again?

Just a vent more than anything else. Could use some virtual hugs right now
What you are doing is invaluable, important, and has a lasting impact.

I get treated differently because I do not work. It is really annoying. I have been in your shoes and I understand how thankless staying home is. What you do is, however, extremely important! I just want you to remember that.

I appreciate what you are doing.
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#6 of 7 Old 05-18-2010, 06:19 AM
 
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Hugs!

Is there any way you could volunteer in the field you were educated in,or a new area that interests you? This might help.

I finished college like dh too,but so much time passed I couldn't even get into my area of study now if I wanted too.

Hoping you feel better soon.
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#7 of 7 Old 05-18-2010, 07:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This thread is a week old now and I've had better days since then but just wanted to thank everyone for the hugs. you girls ROCK!
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