|View Poll Results: How is personal time prioritized and respected b/n you (sahp) and dp (wohp)?|
|Neither me nor dp has any "me" time||14||9.03%|
|We each have "me" time scheduled into the week||20||12.90%|
|DP gets "me" time frequently, I don't||25||16.13%|
|I get "me" time frequently, DP doesn't||6||3.87%|
|When either of us needs it we just ask for it and it happens||79||50.97%|
|Other (please explain)||11||7.10%|
|Voters: 155. You may not vote on this poll|
I hear lots of more experienced mamas saying "it's so important to take time for yourself," but it seems impossible. And it seems like it should be important for BOTH parents to have time for themselves....
Occasionally I'll take off to Barnes and Noble for a few hours also, that's one of my favorite getaways. DH is into photography and will go off and shoot photos for a day.
Chaotic mama to 5 plus a bonus one on the way.
~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.
I have my me time in the evening after kids are in bed. I don't like leaving them (am nursing still) and so this is great for now, as they get older and more independent I will probably like to get out just me more though.
~Katie~ married to J, mom to DD- A 13 yrs ,DS- L 7yrs , and my little nursling DD2- R 5yrs.
DH gets free time throughout the day because he works from home, and he stays up late + sleeps in an hour or two extra every morning. Also on the weekends we have one family day where we do something special, and one day where we all relax and he normally takes a bit of time to do whatever he wants
I have a quiet time during the middle of the day in which most folks nap, and if you don't nap, you have to read for an hour or two. That's much needed down time for me.
On the weekends, I frequently will go to the grocery store/errands by myself, which I enjoy. Or run for a haircut or coffee or whatever.
I probably go to dinner with friends every 2-3 months or so. I do a lot of playdates during the week that aren't me time (we're watching our own children), but they are a needed bit of adult conversation during the day. Since Christmas, I've taken 7 cooking classes that take me away from home for the evening (and are so much fun!) I've really enjoyed that freedom without a tiny nursling.
Dh has an hour commute each way, plus an hour lunch. He doesn't ask for much more than that, though I encourage him to leave and go to the garden center alone, etc. He's just not that interested. I wouldn't mind him doing a night out with friends, but it's not really his style.
most of my "me" time is after the kids are in bed, but i don't really go out, i just hang around the house, or sometimes, at a neighbours'.
i do get to sleep in some days, depending on how tired dh is, so i guess that's "me" time, and i take a bath in the morning 2 or 3 times a week, for about 20 min. i lock the door and anyone who comes pounding on the door is told to go ask daddy, mommy's off the clock
30yo SAHM of 4 DS's: 10/98, 6/01, 2/03 and 11/04, wife to DH, 33
SAHMlovin' fan to DD 10/00 & DS 10/04 If your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumCirc, a personal choice, Your sons11/986/99anti-tobaccoThyroid cancer survivor. With & & (Boxer) wishing 4 &
I don't go out much in the evenings, but when I want to see some girlfriends or something its no big deal. DH is happy to do the bedtime thing on his own. We have to have a schedule in place during the week or else we end up cranky and irritated!
Proud Mama to DS1 09/07 , DD 07/09 , and DS2 06/11 . Feeling more and more blessed with each day!
DH also goes out for social dinners with work people, or plays golf with coworkers, plus occasionally goes out with friends (most of his friends live in Toronto, and most of my friends live in Vancouver, where we are).
Unlike him, I'm involved in a couple of non profits and go to meetings 1-2 times a month. Not sure this counts as 'me time', but he has to be home to watch the kids.
He does encourage me to go out more with my girlfriends, though, and I am making more of an effort to make plans now that the kids are older and are totally find with DH putting them to bed.
Apart from hockey and my meetings, we both check with the other before making plans if possible, just to ensure the other person will be home. If it so happens we both need to be somewhere, then my parents usually help out.
It kind of frustrates me when DH complains that I've been out all day on a Saturday when it involves taking DD to ballet class, and then getting groceries in the afternoon. . . .
Abra, Married to George, Mother to DS 12/03 & DD1 08/09 & DD2 12/11 + Someone New in May 2015! After years of planning, we are finally living our dream in South America!!
My "me" time is whatever mornings I go to the gym to exercise & put the Littles in child care there. I also have down time one morning a week when I go to a mom's group & they provide childcare.
Dh gets it in the morning before we wake at night when we do bedtime, and in between lunch at work driving to work driving home from work etc. I try to get up ealier but it is hard because my youngets still wakes several time a night and no DH does not get up with her...
So NO I get no me time and he just cant seem to get it.( as to why it bothers me)
I am a SAHM and a homeschooling mom... So the kiddos are home with me all day...
I shower with kids at the door, use the bathroom with kids at the door, eat sleep clean etc with kids at my side.... Which I am sure all mamas do but he blames me and says it is my fault for not taking me time, maybe it is,,, I cant seem to find the time... He works and when he is not at the office he is working from his laptop! The kids want to be with me all the time,,, I'm flattered but would love to shave my legs and shower in peace a few times a week..... KWIM? any advice I would love to hear it!
But we also can each ask for as much other time off as we need and it happens.
And usually, by the time we ask for it, we reeeaaally NEED it
Birth and PP doula, Mama to DD (7/04) DS (3/08) with #3 EDD 11/29/13, and 30+ , 2 ducks
Lots of times we choose to just hang out together as a family on our "free" nights, but it's nice to know that we can plan to go see a movie or have dinner with a friend or something if we want -- it's nice to be able to tell my friends, "I'm free any Thursday if you want to get together!" DH usually uses his free evening to go for a long run outside, since on other nights most of his running is on the boring treadmill, but sometimes he'll go hit golf balls or get together with a friend or something.
We also schedule couple time and one-on-one time between each parent and kid into our week -- that stuff is important, as is time to oneself, so it's a priority in our family.
I don't understand the concept of feeling guilty when kids are with their other parent. I think taking the time to nurture my relationships with my husband, each kid, and myself is an attribute and something to be proud of, not something to feel guilty about.
We are also enjoying our last few months of having an easy only child (her brother is due in September), who goes to bed at 7 pm. So we usually set aside our "me" time and our "us" time for after 7. Every once in a while, he'll get home after having an awful, rough day, and need 30 minutes just to sit by himself and have no one talk to him. And every once in a while, as soon as he walks in the door I'm like "I need a shower, I need a snack, I need some time to get my sanity back." We try to cut each other a break, but if at all possible we try to save personal time for after the baby is in bed.
Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies: Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10