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Old 06-01-2010, 02:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My DH loves McDonald's. He grew up with very different eating/cooking styles than I did, so when I make meals, a lot of the time he is not 100% happy (he is meat and potatoes all the way, I like rice pilaf and pasta - kwim?) And he loves his food! It IS a big deal if he doesn't like something. So anyway, we have been discussing what types of meals I could make that he would like. We go through this from time to time because he bores of the limited variety I give him (how many ways can you do hamburger with potato anyway?) So, DH sends me a link to a website that describes in explicit detail HOW to make McDonald's recipes, down to the exact ingredients and how to prepare.

I did not even know how to respond to that. On the one hand I felt like that was the last straw and I was just going to get my stuff and leave. (To where I have no idea, but somewhere) On the other hand, I found myself arranging how to gently explain that if he wanted McDonald's, there was one up the street - you know, the one he eats at at least 2ce a week.

You don't understand. He now EXPECTS me to make McDonald's at home. I said no way, and he now blames me for his overspending by eating out. Yes, he really is like this. The problem is, even if I go out and buy all those ingredients (including an expensive deep fryer) and spend the afternoon following the recipes to a t, I will not be able to make it taste exactly like McDonalds. Then I will hear the complaints and further suggestions of how to make it the right way.

Sorry for this little vent, but seriously - am I the only one who would be insulted by this?

Christ Lovin' SAHM to JL 11/07, MP 5/95 and Empty Nester to BT and RM 7/89
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Old 06-01-2010, 02:51 PM
 
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i would be offended too. but you did ask his opinion. i cook what i want when i want. DH can eat with me and the kids or he can make his own dinner. if he wants to make dinner then he can make what he wants. he doesnt comment anymore. he just eats what i make. he now eats more veggies than he used to....

hope you work it out.....

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Old 06-01-2010, 03:16 PM
 
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Oh my, I'm sorry. This is the kind of thing that I can almost immagine my DH doing, thinking that he was trying to be 'helpful'. I would not be happy at all.

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Old 06-01-2010, 03:21 PM
 
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Wow, I would tell him no lol. If he NEEDS it that badly he can make it.

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Old 06-01-2010, 03:40 PM
 
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Honestly? I would laugh. And, then tell him that was the funniest thing I'd ever read. And, tell him that there is no way you can surpass the great-ness that is McDonald's, and you don't even want to try. But, he's welcome to get used to "McBetsy's" or whatever you call your own kitchen.
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Old 06-01-2010, 03:47 PM
 
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I would find it funny, and not at all offensive. Then, I would say thanks but no thanks - if you want McDonalds, you can either learn to make it yourself, or go down the road to the drive-thru.

What would bother me, however, is if DH complained about my cooking. It's not the greatest, but he definitely doesn't say mean things. I DO try to make things I know he'll love (he is also a steak and potatoes kinda guy- nothing wrong with that), and I've been surprised that over the years he's started to eat more veggies, whereas when we met, he pretty much never at them.

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Old 06-01-2010, 05:16 PM
 
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I'd be annoyed but I wouldn't be offended.

What I would probably do is agree to make him ONE meal using the kitchen tools you already own. (What's the fryer for? Fries? He can deal with Ore-Ida). If he likes the meal, then maybe agree to make it twice a month or something, while sticking to your regular menu the rest of the time. If he DOESN'T like it, or complains, then just say "Hey, I tried" and tell him he's welcome to cook his own meal, or go down the street and buy it himself.
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Old 06-01-2010, 05:20 PM
 
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I would actually be excited about making things like that. I like new experiences and I like to do things I know he and I and the kids would like.

 
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Old 06-01-2010, 05:58 PM
 
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Think of it as a springboard for your own menus, but with your own recipes instead. I think I keep my DH pretty happy with things like burgers, pasta, tacos, etc, but all made with good ingredients and light on the carb sides or frying.
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Old 06-01-2010, 06:35 PM
 
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I wouldn't be offended. I'd try to make one thing, like the special big mac sauce or a certain burger seasoning. It sounds like he's trying to compromise on the eating out problem in his own way. We get take out a lot, mostly fish or mediterranean places, and DH will sometimes send me a recipe to try that looks similar.

One problem I have is sometimes I try to be healthier and make too light of a dinner, and a 500 calorie grilled fish and brown rice dinner isn't going to leave him satisfied after working outside and not eating much all day. Is your DH skinny and have a high metabloism? Maybe he craving some fat and pasta and rice just won't cut it.

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Old 06-01-2010, 06:49 PM
 
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I'd remind my DP that i don't follow him around at his work telling him how to do his job. Taking care of my family is my job and I don't need him to tell me how to do it, I'm not making artery clogging crap for supper.
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Old 06-01-2010, 07:10 PM
 
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He actually complains about your cooking? How ungrateful. Do you complain that he doesn't work hard enough or doesn't make enough money? Maybe you ought to, so he will get the hint.

That website is meant for fun. You are not going to duplicate McD's down to the finest detail.

And he blames YOU for his overspending? How immature is that.
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Old 06-01-2010, 07:21 PM
 
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Oh my. My dh would never......and if he did, I would probably die from hysterical laughter.

I wonder if there is something more at play here than just his love of nasty food. Maybe he feels like he's pushing back on something else he feels is unfair? If not, he can eat what you make or find his own food.
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Old 06-01-2010, 07:21 PM
 
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I would make sure he read Fast Food Nation so that he knew why McDonalds food tastes the way it does. It is not something you could replicate in a home kitchen...even if you wanted to. Its all artificial flavor.
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Old 06-01-2010, 07:50 PM
 
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I would roll my eyes. But I would then sit down with him and come up together with a list of meals you both would enjoy. I'm sure you can branch out from pasta and pilafs and he can branch out from straight meat and potatoes. There's a middle ground, here.
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:06 PM
 
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I wouldn't be offended by the link. I would be offended by the attitude.

Just the link I would look at as him trying to compromise between what you like and what he likes.

But I would hope that he would never expect it to actually taste just like mcdonalds.

And I don't mind if dh tells me once in a while that he doesn't really love something i made. but that's because he almost always does love what i make. so if he doesn't like something i want to know so that i can either change it or not make it again.

But I would not be okay with him expecting me to cook a certain food a certain way and then being in any way upset if it didn't taste the same. He's welcome to make it himself, in that case.

it helps that i'm the picky one in our relationship, and i'm also the cook. it means it's very very rare that i cook something dh doesn't like. i just don't cook beans quite as often as i otherwise would.

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Old 06-01-2010, 08:35 PM
 
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I would be offended but I would also say something to the effect of "hmm gee, better living through chemistry....". I would probably try some of it with the utensils (not ingredients) that we already own. Then he could take it or leave it. Mostly he humors my quinoa surpise nights.

What really offended me was last year when he came home from visiting his parents his mom sent him home with an entire spiral notebook filled with her recipes
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Old 06-01-2010, 10:51 PM
 
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I would ask him if he seriously wanted me to cook McD's food, or if he just thought it was a wierd/funny/interesting site.

It would be easy to jump to conclusions with the background given, but I'd go for the least worst possibility first, that he just thought it was funny.
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Old 06-01-2010, 10:58 PM
 
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Has he seen Supersize Me??

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Old 06-01-2010, 11:09 PM
 
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The attitude would make me angry. The link would make me crack up. I'd be pretty sure my husband was living in the Twilight Zone if he actually wanted me to make McDonalds food.

That said, it sounds like there's something screwy with the dynamic here. Complaining about your cooking like that is really rude.

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Old 06-01-2010, 11:12 PM
 
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I have spent years being highly offended that my dh prefers to "eat out".

When I look at the total picture, his entire family does. Really, it is so weird to me to have a meal at a greasy spoon as a matter of course when we visit his parents, or to have them suggest that we simply go to the local diner for lunch or dinner....when I've already defrosted the chicken and planned a salad. None of them eat salad (except dh...now). None of them eat any vegetables except corn, canned peas, and beets. All of them consider Applebees to be "fancy" dining.

Anyway, I digress.
My dh loves to eat out. I love to stay at home.

We compromise. He gets an 'allowance' where I don't care where he spends it (usually at the local family restaurant), and he takes the kids out to eat on Saturday mornings (I drink coffee in my pjs on the couch - yay, quiet time!).

And, for dinner & meals at home, I try to work with his likes and dislikes. For example, I'll eat a Gardenburger when I make hamburgers. I'll fix a salad when I make sloppy joes. I don't expect him to eat tofu, sprouts, or quinoa. He doesn't expect me to eat steak with him.

I don't exactly prepare two separate meals, but I do tend toward preparing a few different options than anyone can choose from. My kids can choose to have some of dad's hamburger or my gb/black bean whatever, etc. I'm not going overboard here, but I do try to throw him a bone here and there.

I wouldn't prepare McDonald's recipes, but I would sit down with him and figure out a few meals that he likes. I tried that with my dh, and he sat with a blank look on his face and grunted that he didn't know, btw, so I simply had to figure out...meals he doesn't *hate*. I am mostly past my resentment that he loves to eat out - I decided to blame it on his parents, which made me feel better - and I've moved on to "Eat what I cook, or don't. This is dinner.", while making sure I have at least something he likes at dinnertime.

HTH.

Mama to A 8/05 and S 11/06
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Old 06-01-2010, 11:23 PM
 
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Not much advice, if any at all. But talk about unhealthy, I so wouldn't want that around my kids. After watching Food Inc, I dislike McDonalds even more. He's an adult, and needs to start eating like one.

Well said ArtGodess.
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Old 06-01-2010, 11:33 PM
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I'd seriously reconsider the relationship
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Old 06-01-2010, 11:44 PM
 
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I would ask him is intentions....My dh would have done it as a joke.

I would (am) not be offended if he doesn't like my cooking. I don't always like his either. (and my part is a chef)

You are not a short order cook. If he doesn't like your cooking, and you have tried to accommodate then he needs to step up to the plate. He can cook for himself.

Tomorrow I am making collard greens. My kids love them. My dh doesn't. He knows it is planned and he will cook his own food.
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Old 06-01-2010, 11:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteHorse View Post
My DH loves McDonald's. He grew up with very different eating/cooking styles than I did, ...So, DH sends me a link to a website that describes in explicit detail HOW to make McDonald's recipes, down to the exact ingredients and how to prepare.

I did not even know how to respond to that. On the one hand I felt like that was the last straw and I was just going to get my stuff and leave. (To where I have no idea, but somewhere) On the other hand, I found myself arranging how to gently explain that if he wanted McDonald's, there was one up the street - you know, the one he eats at at least 2ce a week.

You don't understand. He now EXPECTS me to make McDonald's at home. I said no way, and he now blames me for his overspending by eating out. Yes, he really is like this. The problem is, even if I go out and buy all those ingredients (including an expensive deep fryer) and spend the afternoon following the recipes to a t, I will not be able to make it taste exactly like McDonalds. Then I will hear the complaints and further suggestions of how to make it the right way.

Sorry for this little vent, but seriously - am I the only one who would be insulted by this?
I sympathize with you completely.

My husband loves McDonald's as well.

As soon as my dd was born, I vowed that our family's diet was going to change for the healthier. I cooked/cook everything from scratch, so I was/still am very extreme about that kind of thing.

During the first year after my dd was born, my husband would regularly say, after I finished slaving over a stove, "You don't have to cook because we can always eat at McDonald's.", or "It would be faster and less work for you if we ate at McDonald's." or "You don't have to pack my lunch for work or leave a plate of dinner for me in the refrigerator for me because I'll just go to McDonald's" or "It is much cheaper if we ate off the McDonald's dollar menu."

Sometimes it was said with a genuine concern to save me extra work, sometimes it was said in a friendly teasing way.

But after the first thousand times it was said, then each additional time it was said, it ate at me like acid.

Finally, I said in a non-confrontational way that I understood that he was trying to prevent me from doing a lot of work and that he was teasing in a goodnatured way, but my priority was to set the stage for our family to eat healthy from the beginning, and everytime he made these seemingly innocuous remarks, it was like a slap in the face to me and my labor of love.

My husband, bless his heart, got the message and took it to heart. He never made another such remark again, and none of us (not even him) have eaten at a McDonald's for 5 years. I will forever be grateful to him for taking me seriously for that.

So in short, the website would crack me up (could you please provide a link, because I want to show my husband?), but the attitude would get me all riled up.
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Old 06-01-2010, 11:59 PM
 
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OP, when you say he "EXPECTS" it, how does that manifest itself - as in, does he sulk or yell, or behave badly in some way? Is he accustomed to you bowing to his wishes and demands?

At any rate, I would point to the frying pan and say, "There ya go. Have a good time."
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Old 06-02-2010, 01:36 AM
 
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Originally Posted by PancakesMancakes View Post
I'd seriously reconsider the relationship
Really?
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Old 06-02-2010, 01:50 AM
 
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People in my house who have issues with what I make are free to make their own food. And that's probably what I would tell my husband if he wanted me to cook McDonald's for him.
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Old 06-02-2010, 01:53 AM
 
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I would ask him to help do the meal planning, or even see if he wants to take over a weekend night or other times when he's not working. I would definitely try to find a compromise, like Monday nights are "McDonald's recipe" nights or something. But I do think that whomever does the cooking gets final say, and if you want someone to cook for you, you'd better not complain!

Wife to a wonderful dh and mom to four beautiful kiddos, dd (3/04):, ds1 (1/06), ds2 (10/08), and ds3 (7/10)
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Old 06-02-2010, 08:35 AM
 
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Are you sure he wasn't just trying to be funny? I would find that v. funny.

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