Feeling lazy-daily routines? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 06-08-2010, 04:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I used to be a really good stereotypical stay at home mom. Clean house, clean kids, lots of kid time with arts and crafts, etc. I even (gasp) got cleaned up before dh got home. Now...I am sooooo burnt out. My house even though I declutter constantly (and have OCD!) is always a disaster zone. I can NOT keep up and the kids will not help. I rarely get them to after much begging and even after family meetings. I have that house-slave feeling like another poster recently. Even simple things like putting their plates up is a battle.

And the kids and I have no friends around here. We try activities but they are very limited in our town-there's nothing around for over an hour to do or see or go to. We tried sports, but always miss the deadline since we homeschool and they do not advertise or alert you except through the school system. No homeschool groups-all very religious and we are not. So social things are a lost cause.

I feel like all I do all day is sit on the computer, play outside with the kids a bit, garden, clean up when I have energy, and cook. We haven't hardly been doing homeschooling stuff and the kids prefer self-learning anyway, like myself, but I offer to do things, though we are on a hiatus for summer since we all feel like we need a "summer break". I feel like a total failure and really lazy. What do other people actually do all day at home? I see routines that look totally optimistic or maybe I am just really lazy. I just need something to work for me so I feel like I'm earning my keep as a SAHM or something.

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#2 of 10 Old 06-08-2010, 08:07 PM
 
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It sounds like maybe a hobby would help? I love to knot, and I also enjoy baking and making soaps and lotions. Is there anything you can do regularly for yourself?

Crafty Mama to 5 year old DD and 1 year old DS.
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#3 of 10 Old 06-08-2010, 08:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have too many hobbies.

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#4 of 10 Old 06-09-2010, 10:53 AM
 
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How old are your kids? Have you tried Motivated Moms or anything like that? I did it for a while (and now I have my own "system" that is more customized to my life) and I found just having a cleaning routine really helped my whole life feel more calm and structured, which is funny to me because I have always said I don't want a structured life, but loose structure has really helped! Having my oldest in school this past year has also helped, not because he's gone all day (I hate that part, and lucky for me he has decided he does too so next year it's back to homeschooling) but because we have to be clean, dressed, fed, and out of the house by 8 every morning. This summer/next year I plan to schedule something for every weekday morning, right now it's looking like it will be an 8am Starbucks run and then a half hour or so at the playground.

You may give the religious homeschooling groups a try, even though you're not religious. As long as you are respectful of their views they will likely be very open to having you and you may make some really good friends. They may also be able to direct you to some non-religious homeschool classes/events. Your local library also likely has a group, or classes specifically for homeschoolers during school days. Same with a lot of places that offer classes, one of the gyms here has classes of all kinds (tennis, gymnastics, dance, seasonal sports) during the day on weekdays geared towards homeschoolers. Also, this is sort of random and not something I would have been able to find on purpose (I looked!) but a farm here has a homeschooling program, two hours two afternoons a month, with a different seasonal farming theme every month.
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#5 of 10 Old 06-09-2010, 12:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have motivated moms. I just need to *do* it.

As for the hs groups-no. I would have to lie about my religion. Last time I tried they tried to get me to tell them my dedication to Jesus or something (I was Jewish). There are NO non-religious hs things to do and only a rare library event that we do attend. No homeschooling programs besides that group and no farms that will let you on their property due to liability. I tried that like *crazy* the last two years, contacting every farm within 2 hours or more. We really do live in the middle of BFE with nothing to do.

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#6 of 10 Old 06-12-2010, 03:43 PM
 
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When I go through slumps I make sure we do at least one thing in each of the following categories every day:

Exercise (go for a walk, run in circles in the backyard, kick the soccer ball)
Reading time
Clean something (if I'm REALLYunmotivated I will turn on the radio and force us to straighten up the house for at least three songs)
Art (not all fancy or anything, just crayons or paint, sidewalk chalk, etc)
Family (call Daddy, brush the dogs, make a card for Grandma)
Learning (rice table, counting game, letter flash cards, nature stuff)

I make the same list for myself every day and cross of each thing as we do it. If we're find ourselves bored I'll look at the list and think "Oh, we haven't done anything arty, let's draw" Depending on how old your kids are you can do this "fishbowl" style, writing each thing on a slip of paper and letting each kid pick one and then select the activity.
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#7 of 10 Old 06-12-2010, 04:57 PM
 
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Same here! It helps me to have a white board (dry erase)- while I get my coffee I put the order of our ideal day and what each of us needs to accomplish. It seems to have worked well and has kept me on track. Also, the kids can scratch things out after they are done they love this! Bonus- hubby can see in black and white how much we do each day adn understand why sometimes i am exhausted by 8 pm!
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#8 of 10 Old 06-13-2010, 08:36 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by southernmama View Post
Same here! It helps me to have a white board (dry erase)- while I get my coffee I put the order of our ideal day and what each of us needs to accomplish. It seems to have worked well and has kept me on track. Also, the kids can scratch things out after they are done they love this! Bonus- hubby can see in black and white how much we do each day adn understand why sometimes i am exhausted by 8 pm!
How does hubby see it if it's scratched off? Oh, you don't mean erased, do you?

Wife to DH (10/2004) ~ Mama to DS (1/2009) ~ belly.gif (11/2011)
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#9 of 10 Old 06-13-2010, 08:43 AM
 
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Originally Posted by LDSmomma View Post
How does hubby see it if it's scratched off? Oh, you don't mean erased, do you?
I think she means crossed out with a line drawn through. That's a great idea btw.
OP you sound a little depressed actually. How's your diet? The lack of supportive (i.e. non/your-religious) community must be tough. How long have you been in that area?
Have you had more children since your previous "perfect" sahm standards? I don't think it's fair to judge yourself by what you could accomplish before child no. 2 or 3 or 4 etc.

grateful Mama to DD May '06 and DS May '09
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#10 of 10 Old 06-15-2010, 05:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The dry erase board is a great idea. I have to get mine fixed (the part to hang it up is messed up) and I'll give it a go.

Depressed-yeah, probably. A lot going on in life right now-pregnancy, my mom has cancer, kids are out of control, no community or friends...We have lived here about 2 years and had lived here 2 years previously with a break in between where we were all over the place. It's just rough right now. I have added 1 kid since I was a "good" SAHM. She is such a handful-very high needs and high energy. I used to complain that the house was a wreck 5 minutes after cleaning it...now that she's around it never gets "not messed up". It takes a lot out of me. I am a highly perfectionist Virgo with OCD, so you can imagine...

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