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Wife, mom to 6 great kids!...avid crafter, music lover, reader, gardener!
I'm guessing about the exploding part because frankly it seems a little explode-y to call someone at work to confront them, rather than wait until they get home. So to me that indicates someone who has just *had it* and can't help but unload. Things need to be talked about way before that point. I am pretty sure you know this, but you thinking that you "can't" complain until you rupture makes it hard to try to talk to them before that.
They may have valid reasons for being upset about the way that you expressed your anger if you erupted--and I think your mom has a right to be upset that you called her at work to tell her you were pissed off at her. You might perceive things as they should have noticed you were getting mad--but that tends to not be reality. So if I were you, I would have (separate) conversations with them opening with an apology for seeming to attack them. Then *disclose* that you often feel like you can't start conversations because you're afraid that you'll seem ungrateful for being able to SAH, so you let it build until it all comes exploding out. But, you do have some specific, non-carpetbagging issues that you need to discuss with them. If it's a good time then, then discuss...if not, make an appointment.
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