I am starting to feeling like I want to go back to work - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 07-08-2010, 11:58 AM - Thread Starter
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I have been a SAHM for 8 years now. I worked full time for the first 4 years of being a mom and then was finally financially able to quit and stay home. I have loved my time at home. I thought I would never want to work again but for the last few months all I can think about is that I want to go back to work. I think the only thing keeping me from finding a job is the fact that I would have to find childcare for 4 kids and could never make enough money to pay for it. I am tired of having no money, spending all day cleaning just to have someone mess it up the minute I leave the room, feeling like my brain is slowly shrinking away....I have a really good job that will be open to me in about 6 years, which timing wise would be perfect because my youngest would be 10 years old but I don't think I can wait that long. Does/has anyone else felt like this. what did you do? How do you find peace with the fact that you are at home and broke for the next few years. My youngest will start school in 2 years so maybe I can find a part time job then.
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#2 of 7 Old 07-08-2010, 01:49 PM
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I feel like this, too, and lately it's been creeping up more and more. My kids are 5.5 and almost 4, so my younger one will be in K full time Sept of next year. I would like to work part time when that happens, but even now, there are many days where I am so irritable with the kids that I feel everyone would be better off if I went to work and found someone to look after them who was patient, and who would actually have fun playing with them. So many days I do the basics - meals, cleaning up, bringing them to school or now that it's summer some sort of activity, but when we're at home, the last thing I want to do is read to them or 'play'.

I feel like I need some mental stimulation, and regular interaction with other adults. I feel like I would be a better role model especially for my DD if I had a career that I found meaningful. I worked PT when DD was 1, but didn't go back to work after DS, so I've been SAH full time for 3 years.

Money isn't really much of an issue, as DH makes enough that I don't 'need' to work, but it would be a nice bonus. It's more that I need to use my brain in a way that I feel like I'm of benefit to society. I'm already on the board of our preschool, so that's something (using my brain), and I feel like I'm enjoying those tasks more than parenting a lot of the time. I need to figure out what type of job I would want to do, but that's a whole other story - I think I've hijacked enough!

Mama to my two sweet monkeys - DD '04 and DS '06
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#3 of 7 Old 07-08-2010, 08:34 PM
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I completely relate. Sahm for 12 years now. Youngest will be in 6th grade, so I've got the time, as soon as school starts up again. I've just gotta get past some anxieties...


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#4 of 7 Old 07-10-2010, 10:18 PM
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Your children are going to be happier if YOU are happier. Follow what your instincts are telling you and maybe find a part time job to fill the time until this dream job comes along. If your youngest is 4 now, aren't all of the kiddies going to be in school during the day anyway? And you can certainly find a sweet little preschool for your youngest to attend. Might be a nice break for you to do something to pass the time while they are in school-- something that is just for you.

I think everyone that has posted so far should be commended for staying home this long. My little one is 2.5 and I'm starting him in Montessori school this fall because my heart tells me it is just time-- time for him to be a part of a community, and time for me to go back to school. Believe me, I'm having plenty of guilt that his program is 5 days per week and that he'll have to stay for naps one to three of those days. I know, just like you do, that your kids are better off in your care all the time, but keep in mind that you have to make compromises as a family in order for everyone to be happy sometimes. don't lose yourself in the mix and think that what you want is less important. Just make sure your kiddies are safe and well cared for when you are working, and imagine what the quality of life will be like for all, when you come home so relieved and happy to spend the rest of the day with them! Your kids are going to love having such a happy mom.

Good luck in whatever you decide!
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#5 of 7 Old 07-11-2010, 12:58 AM
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I understand how you feel! For many of the same reasons, I have started back to work, it's just from home right now. My youngest won't start K until next year so my plan is to continue to work from home until the (unless a fantastic job comes along before then and I do keep an eye out just in case) and then look for an office type of a job.

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#6 of 7 Old 07-14-2010, 03:39 PM
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I have an eight month old and a seven year old, and have been feeling a bit like that already. Yet in my field of work, software, there are no part-time jobs available, unless you already are full time and can negotiate a part-time schedule (and even that is rare, only in a few companies). And full time is not what I want any time soon, especially since the schools around here have a short day on Wednesdays where they dismiss them at 2 pm.
What about trying to work from home with a mother's helper? You don't say the ages of your kids, but it might be possible to hire say, a 12 year old homeschool kid to watch your kids in another part of your home while you worked online or something.

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#7 of 7 Old 07-15-2010, 10:23 AM
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I stay at home with my 2 dd's during the day but I also work saturdays in a local hardware store & 4 evenings a week in a local convenience store when my DH can look after the kids so we dont pay childcare. I do the evening work for financial reasons but starting work on the saturday when DD2 was only 6 months old was a lifesaver for me! It made me a better mother during the week because I knew I had a break coming up on saturday, and working all day was definitely a break for me!!

In september DD1 starts school and DD2 is going to a wonderful local playschool on mondays wednesdays and fridays & I am going to be doing 4 days a week in the hardware store. Now I have got past the guilt I am really looking forward to it!! It is not my dream career & doesnt use any of my qualifications but it is adult interaction & doing something different and after years of SAHM I am sooo ready for it

I am also VERY lucky that I only have to work school hours during termtime which makes a huge difference

sahm mama to dd1 08/08/06 and dd2 27/11/07.. dreaming of her own smallholding one day...
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