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do you consider yourself more of a homemaker or a sahp?

6K views 112 replies 61 participants last post by  cdmommie 
#1 ·
Not that one is better than the other, but I thought it would be interesting to see what other mamas saw their identities in the home as.

I personally feel more like a homemaker than a sahp. Of course taking care of my child (and soon to be children!) is very important to me, and a very integral part of my home life. On the other hand though, a lot of my time is also filled with cleaning, decorating, organizing, learning to cook more and more from scratch, doing small things to earn money or gift cards, making or thrifting gifts for birthdays and the holidays, etc. To me, this is all more of a part of running our household, and it's a job that I would be doing whether we had children and when they become a bit more self sufficient. I want to homeschool my children but even if for some reason they do go to a school I don't see myself returning to "the work force" but rather continuing to do my many jobs at home with possibly doing some volunteer work on the side.

Again, I'm not saying my lifestyle is what anyone should strive for. It's just the life that works for me and mine. I've seen parents that are only looking to stay at home until their children hit school age, I've seen parents that are running around playing games with their children all day but have no interest in other areas of homemaking, etc. And of course there are wohps and wahps, etc. Whatever works! But I do think it's interesting to see everyone's place and why it works for them, etc.
 
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#28 ·
I prefer the term "housewife." "Homemaker" sounds too post-modern/self-conscious to me. However, I doubt that I'd be staying home if we didn't have young kids, and will probably be working at least part-time again well before our younger kid is in school. Ideally, though, I will work from home, with my own business(es).

I love good food and I'm most serious about the cooking, food-producing, and nutrition end of the housewife job description. I find being organized very important to maintaining my own sanity, but cleaning isn't a super high priority for me (except when it comes to dirty dishes. I cannot function with dirty dishes cluttering the kitchen.)
 
#29 ·
hmmmm....I struggle with both homemaker and stay at home mom. I feel that it sounds as though all I do is stay at home. I do alot of stuff outside of the home and I am busy all the time. I feel that neither title really conveys that you are BUSY.

I had to go to a specialist and on the form where is asks for occupation I wrote: Domestic Engineer and CEO of household management. Sounded good to me.....
 
#30 ·
homemaker- but this was what I wanted to do even before I had a baby- stay at home a lot, garden, cook, make my home a beautiful sacred place to reside, cook for myself and my husband- I love doing all that stuff and feel very fortunate to be able to stay at home with my baby in my home that I have created a space in and maintain. I have always felt that this is what I want to do and I really like where I live so that helps a lot!
 
#31 ·
I consider myself a RADICAL HOMEMAKER
Which, by the way, was an entertaining book. I may not be the tidiest home parent in the world, but I rock it in a bunch of ways. I waffle sometimes, thinking this isn't IT for me, that I want more from life. But really, I just want more time to do the home/garden part which will happen when my littles are older and I'm cool with that.
 
#32 ·
I don't really like either. Some days are entirely kid/family centered with little housework time. But some days it seems I clean for 24 straight hours. I usually say "Stay at home mom" when asked what my job is (like at the doctor's office), and 99% of the time they say..."So you're unemployed?" and then write down UNEMPLOYED. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
The old ladies write down "homemaker" or "SAHM" when I tell them, at least.
 
#33 ·
I consider myself a homeaker, because I am a personal chef for my neighboor, and I do all the paperwork for my husbands landscaping business, so I guess I would qualify more as a WHAM than a SAHM. However, I do 90% of all of the household stuff. Also, because my husband's work depends on the weather, sometimes he is a SAHP too! For example, he will probably only work 1-2 days a week during Dec, Jan and Feb. But Ill still be the one cooking and doing the dishes and laundry.
 
#34 ·
I'm definitely a SAHM, not even remotely homemaker-ish... I only do about half the cooking & very little if any cleaning, dishes, laundry... Though I'm entirely in charge of our finances & scheduling, and most of our shopping. So I guess it's the cleaning thing that holds me back from feeling like a homemaker. I'm sure part of it is that I WAH 20 hours a week, and other personal issues, but it's hard to EVER envision myself cleaning & having dinner ready when DH walked in the door...
 
#35 ·
I'm a SAHM but not a very good with housework. I used to work very-part time, so I was a SAHM/Social Worker. I was laid off last week. Now I don't know what to tell people. I guess Homemaker will do.

I'm a great mom but not a good housecleaner. We hired people to help me with that part.
 
#37 ·
I'm definately a SAHM, not a homemaker. I'd love to be more of a homemaker and I think I'm getting there, slooooowly, but my heart just isn't in cooking and cleaning and I've never had the patience for crafts. I don't even really nest while pregnant!! I do enjoy baking and I'm coming to enjoy making good tasting healthy food for my family. Not so much the cooking, just knowing that I'm providing the best for my kiddos. I've never enjoyed cooking. In fact, I always said I wanted a man who loved to cook. (That backfired on me when DH decided he wanted to be a chef and has since gone to culinary school and is now a chef. Since he cooks 9+ hrs a day, he rarely cooks at home.) Taking care of my kids is what I do now. Eventually I will go back to work, once everyone is in school. I'm fortunate to be a SAHM now, but I've always known that as soon as its viable, I'll be back in the work force in some manner.
 
#38 ·
Currently, I consider myself a homemaker. My son is in 1st grade and spends all day at school so it's just me at home during the day. When baby #2 arrives at the beginning of 2011...I will once again prefer the title of stay at home mom.
 
#40 ·
I am a homemaker. For many reason. I did not start out that way nor was I any good at it at first. I've been a homemaker for 7 years now. I've had jobs in between those years, but have always come back home. This is my true self. Even though at times society gets the better of me and I think I'm not contributing to society in the "right" way and get off beat and try to enter the workforce again. Thankfully, lately I've realized what was going on and can regroup myself and get back on track.
Here is an excerpt that explains part of ME being a homemaker. Its from Home Comforts by Cheryl Mendelson. (One of my favorite homemaking books!)
What really does work to increase the feeling of having a home and its comforts is housekeeping. Housekeeping creates cleanliness, order, regularity, beauty, the conditions for health and safety, and a good place to do and feel all the things you wish and need to do and feel at home. Whether you live alone or with a spouse, parents, and ten children, it is your housekeeping that makes your home alive, that turns it into a small society in its own right, a vital place with its own ways and rhythms, the place where you can be more yourself than you can be anywhere else.

That is what I am trying to create. A place where my kids can come home after battling life at school and can be themselves and relax. A place where my husband can come home after a hard day at work or after being gone 6-9 months out to sea and can relax. He's not coming home to a harried wife who just also came home from working all day. My house isn't always in order when everyone walks in the door. I do still have little children home with me during the day. But I do have love waiting for them and a smile as soon as they walk in. I am their welcoming committee. And who doesn't like that? I may not bake fresh bread every week (or every month for that matter), I may not have laundry caught up 100% of the time (who does nowadays???), or the floors may not be swept up after lunch that day, but I am still here to listen to them about their day and a hugs are always at the ready. I am getting much better at the housekeeping and the home is running a little smoother. Even as I sit here expecting baby #5 to come at any minute. The floor stays swept up at least once a day. The dishes do get washed and the counters in the kitchen are staying clean most of the time compared to when we first started our family. The laundry isn't nearly as piled as it use to be 7 years ago or even 1 year ago. It's taken me a LONG learning curve to find what is working for me and what works for MY family. I am by NO means a born organized person. Or a clean fanatic. I would like to be, but that's just not me. But the feeling I get when I have a clean home and kids that are happy is worth it for me.

So to answer the question: HOMEMAKER all the way!!

Sorry that was so long.
 
#43 ·
I'm surprised at all the people who voted homemaker.

I check that box if that's the only option on a form, but when asked, I always say SAHM.

I would be (and did) cook, clean, and generally keep up the house even if I was WOH. So, to me, the difference is that I take care of my kids now instead of working in IT. The parenting is the important distinction to me.

Obviously, if I didn't have kids, it would be different. Then I would either be a homemaker (if staying home by choice) or unemployed (not by choice). Or, I guess, a woman of leisure.
 
#44 ·
Didn't read the whole thread...

OP based on your first post i am a homemaker, i do the DIY, most of the decorating, if things need fixing i fix them or arrange the right tradesperson, i cook, i clean (hardly ever but more than anyone else who lives here!
) and i also do the bulk of the childcare (though when DH is home that's much more evenly split). I knit, sew, craft and generally create.

However, for some reason, even though i hardly EVER get time to do it, i consider myself a writer !?! I tend to put Domestic Logistics Specialist on forms under "occupation".
 
#45 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by noobmom View Post
I'm surprised at all the people who voted homemaker.

I check that box if that's the only option on a form, but when asked, I always say SAHM.

I would be (and did) cook, clean, and generally keep up the house even if I was WOH. So, to me, the difference is that I take care of my kids now instead of working in IT. The parenting is the important distinction to me.

Obviously, if I didn't have kids, it would be different. Then I would either be a homemaker (if staying home by choice) or unemployed (not by choice). Or, I guess, a woman of leisure.



Kids or no kids, work or no work, we all have to do our laundry, cook, wash dishes and clean the house. That is why I call myself a stay at home mom, because that is why I'm here.
 
#47 ·
Homemaker, though I do it more for my children than my husband. I think they deserve to live in a clean home and have healthy food to eat....dh works 12 hour shifts so that falls more on me than him. He makes the money to make it possible for me to stay home and do childcare for a small number of children in addition to our own.....he takes care of the outside of our home, I take care of the inside.
 
#48 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post
BUT people who WOH also take care of their kids.

h
Yes, but I said that is why I am here. Because I was talking about me and my choice to be a stay at home parent, not a stay at home cook, not a stay at home housecleaner, I chose to not work so I can be a stay at home mom.
 
#50 ·
homemaker.

i consider cooking, cleaning, decorating, homeschooling, etc to be my calling in life. I have a degree and worked as a nurse and loved it. but that was a "job" and this that i do now is a life calling. I feel blessed and fulfilled doing this.
 
#51 ·
I consider myself a homemaker. My responsibility is to create and maintain a home for my husband and children.

Also, I love this quote;

I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else. ~Bella Abzug

And this paragraph keeps me inspired;

If drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home, as a man might drudge at the Cathedral of Amiens or drudge behind a gun at Trafalgar. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless and of small import to the soul, then as I say, I give it up; I do not know what the words mean. To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labors and holidays; to be Whiteley within a certain area, providing toys, boots, sheets cakes. and books, to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.
~G.K. Chesterton The Emancipation of Domesticity
 
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