do you consider yourself more of a homemaker or a sahp? - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-04-2010, 10:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Not that one is better than the other, but I thought it would be interesting to see what other mamas saw their identities in the home as.

I personally feel more like a homemaker than a sahp. Of course taking care of my child (and soon to be children!) is very important to me, and a very integral part of my home life. On the other hand though, a lot of my time is also filled with cleaning, decorating, organizing, learning to cook more and more from scratch, doing small things to earn money or gift cards, making or thrifting gifts for birthdays and the holidays, etc. To me, this is all more of a part of running our household, and it's a job that I would be doing whether we had children and when they become a bit more self sufficient. I want to homeschool my children but even if for some reason they do go to a school I don't see myself returning to "the work force" but rather continuing to do my many jobs at home with possibly doing some volunteer work on the side.

Again, I'm not saying my lifestyle is what anyone should strive for. It's just the life that works for me and mine. I've seen parents that are only looking to stay at home until their children hit school age, I've seen parents that are running around playing games with their children all day but have no interest in other areas of homemaking, etc. And of course there are wohps and wahps, etc. Whatever works! But I do think it's interesting to see everyone's place and why it works for them, etc.
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Old 10-04-2010, 10:11 PM
 
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I think I'm a homemaker [albeit a totally messy one, oh man!] I love staying home to bake/cook, working no freelance writing, reading, making crafts, decorating, having candles lit and just puttering around. I also love raising kiddos doing all that stuff though - I am not really into "playing" but I will happily whip up a batch of pumpkin play-doh and bust out some acorn cookie cutters. And I like to get DD involved in cooking, and other things.

And I too plan on homeschooling but I guess I just consider this all part of homemaking! A lost art man!

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Old 10-05-2010, 01:08 AM
 
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I'd say homemaker because in my definition it encompasses all the things I am--mother, wife, keeper of the home.

To me it's a very different word from "housekeeping". My parents have a housekeeper, they pay her and she comes to clean twice a week. She cleans very well, does a beautiful job, and we all adore her. But she is not the 'homemaker' of the house.

Trying to explain this, I'm envisioning a center point, with various aspects of homemaking orbiting it. Things like parenting, teaching/homeschooling, loving my husband, developing and maintaining family and friends relationships are in a closer orbit and more constantly in front of me. Things like cooking, cleaning, decorating, laundry--they each have their own orbit, and are always in my mental to-do file, but the importance varies depending on the day and depending on what's going on with the relationships in the closer orbit. So they can be put to the side temporarily, but I can't ignore them and it's part of how I love my family to make the home a comfortable, clean, and happy place to live. And I really do enjoy that part of being home, as well.

Maybe that sounds silly. It makes sense in my head, anyway.
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Old 10-05-2010, 01:56 AM
 
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I'm also in the homemaker category. My house is well maintained, I have a small homestead (animals and gardens) and my kids are well taken care of. I spend most of my day doing household stuff while making sure my kids are happy.

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Old 10-05-2010, 02:10 AM
 
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I guess homemaker here. I think I do make the home. It true when they say 'if Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy'.

Though today I would say at best I was a babysitter.

It's complicated.
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Old 10-05-2010, 07:45 AM
 
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More of a SAHP. I think cooking is central to the homemaker idea and I struggle with wanting to cook at all/enjoying my efforts at cooking. I do keep the house at a basic level of clean. I have a high-energy special needs not-quite-3yo and I tell myself that that gives me a pass. I do volunteer work and I think that's unusual with a kid this age.

At least, that's what I tell myself on days when I'm just a babysitter.
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Old 10-05-2010, 03:56 PM
 
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I've seen parents that are only looking to stay at home until their children hit school age
This is me.


I have two jobs right now: I'm a full-time SAHP, and a part-time homemaker.

I do 95% of the cleaning, 100% of the cooking (by choice... cooking is a big-time passion/hobby of mine), and 100% of the budgeting/appointments/grocery shopping/etc/etc.

But my main focus all day is not the house, but keeping up with two very little kids... the house stuff comes a distant second to that.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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Old 10-05-2010, 04:15 PM
 
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I despise the fact that what we do even needs a title!
It also bothers me that parents who stay home to raise their children have to be so careful of what they call them selves for fear of insulting someone else.
I wont even go into detail
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Old 10-05-2010, 06:48 PM
 
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I'd consider myself a homemaker.
I worked full time until 4 weeks before giving birth, and I hope to never go back! I loved my job, but I feel that being home, and able to invest my time into my husband, my house and my child is my true calling. By house I don't just mean cleaning and cooking, but also entertaining, visiting others, making it a place people want to be, a place of peace and rest, a place of learning and exploration, a place where ideas and thoughts can be aired and discussed.
I guess I consider the SAHP title to have more to do with focusing one's energy mainly on the child/children, rather than on the whole family relationship.
Don't get me wrong, focusing on the child is very important, but that's not what I personally spend my days doing. I don't think it's my job to make sure he's entertained/happy 24/7, but rather to direct him and give him loving attention and guidance in the midst of doing life (but the manifestation of this is in constant flux).
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Old 10-05-2010, 06:52 PM
 
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I'm a homemaker. I run our lives and I have appointed myself CEO of our household. Honestly, being a SAHM is only about 50% of my job right now.

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Old 10-05-2010, 06:57 PM
 
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Homemaker!
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Old 10-06-2010, 09:04 AM
 
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I'm a homemaker. I run our lives and I have appointed myself CEO of our household. Honestly, being a SAHM is only about 50% of my job right now.
I consider myself the COO and CFO.

I do work outside the home some, but I limit my hours as much as I can, and I identify more with my at-home identity most of the time, and much of the work I do is at home. My children are school-age, so I do most of this work while they are either in bed or at school.

But I have always been more homemaker than at-home parent in terms of function. I mean, of course I read to the kids and guide them in activities, but I don't "play" much. A lot of what we do together is chores and housekeeping--which doesn't have to be misery. They are learning to take care of things, which is great, and we get laundry done, bake bread, cook meals, tidy the house, take care of gardens and livestock and all that.

My dh travels extensively for his job, so it really is up to me to uphold our home. Not only keeping up with bills and groceries and basics, but ensuring that it feels like home. Like we live here, not just crash between school and activities. The house is almost never totally clean, and I guess that's OK, but it almost always looks like a place where people are happy to just be.
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Old 10-06-2010, 10:28 AM
 
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I consider myself to be an undomestic goddess.

I would fail as a 50's/60's housewife. Actually, I'd probably fail as a traditional housewife in this day and age, too. I hate cleaning and cooking. I do it, but I'm not great at it and I don't enjoy it.

When I was married (before child), I was upfront about the whole cooking thing. I told him not to expect fancy meals. Most of the men I've lived with didn't mind doing most of the cooking (lucky for me!) Of course, I did have to do most of the cleaning in exchange for not cooking.

Wow, I'm reminding myself that being single is not such a bad thing.

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Old 10-06-2010, 10:57 AM
 
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I consider myself a homemaker, too. Now I get to do that full-time, but even when I was a WOH, I was still the homemaker.

From the time we got married (and we were married 5 years before babies, while I worked), I was the manager of our home.
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Old 10-06-2010, 11:30 AM
 
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I'd say homemaker. My days revolve around household things, and spending time with/doing things with my kids fits around that. Obviously, I'm meeting their needs, but a lot of that is in tandem with homemaking(like cooking).
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Old 10-06-2010, 12:30 PM
 
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I am a homemaker. I have not had a paying job since I have been married and it is not likely that I will ever have a full time job, though I would love to pursue midwifery when my kids are grown if that works out for us. My kids are obviously a very large part of my life right now, but my life does not revolve around them personally. They live life right along with me and we all have a great time but I consider their care to be a part of my responsibilities in the family but not my only responsibility during the day.
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Old 10-06-2010, 11:29 PM
 
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i def. fall into the sahm category, although i kind of wish i could say that i am more of a homemaker in some aspects. i have 3 kids under 5, and my entire day revolves around feeding them, diapering them, playing with them, educating them, taking them places, etc....and i get very little else done. when i left my job, i had intentions of cooking better, cleaning more, etc.....but it just isnt happening right now.....and for right now i'm ok with that and so is my dh. he told me that as long as the kids are well cared for, he doesnt care about everything else that i dont do ;o) i too plan on homeschooling....hopefully for the next 20 years....so we'll see how things evolve in my household.
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Old 10-07-2010, 03:51 AM
 
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I definitely identify myself as a SAHM, not a homemaker. My primary goal each and every day is to take care of my child, not my house. Housework plays second fiddle to my daughter, lol. I mean, I am BOTH, but if I have to pick one, it's a SAHM, kwim? I take care of most of the household things because I'm here and that's my "job" but I'd be doing those things whether I had my daughter or not (and I did!).

SAHM to my sweet girl born in fall 2009

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Old 10-07-2010, 11:05 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mbhf View Post
I am a homemaker. I have not had a paying job since I have been married and it is not likely that I will ever have a full time job, though I would love to pursue midwifery when my kids are grown if that works out for us. My kids are obviously a very large part of my life right now, but my life does not revolve around them personally. They live life right along with me and we all have a great time but I consider their care to be a part of my responsibilities in the family but not my only responsibility during the day.
I am currently a homemaker sans kiddos; baby Squirt is due in Dec. I LOVE how you said this, because that is what my thought is, too.

ETA: I realize this will be different with an infant; their needs are central and all-consuming. But eventually, I hope that Squirt and I can work out a balance that keeps us both happy.

Emily--Married to the love of my life 2008--Joyful mommy to Rachel Elizabeth 12/10
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Old 10-07-2010, 11:14 AM
 
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Old 10-08-2010, 12:43 AM
 
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Originally Posted by EmTheWife View Post
I'd consider myself a homemaker.
I worked full time until 4 weeks before giving birth, and I hope to never go back! I loved my job, but I feel that being home, and able to invest my time into my husband, my house and my child is my true calling. By house I don't just mean cleaning and cooking, but also entertaining, visiting others, making it a place people want to be, a place of peace and rest, a place of learning and exploration, a place where ideas and thoughts can be aired and discussed.
I guess I consider the SAHP title to have more to do with focusing one's energy mainly on the child/children, rather than on the whole family relationship.
Don't get me wrong, focusing on the child is very important, but that's not what I personally spend my days doing. I don't think it's my job to make sure he's entertained/happy 24/7, but rather to direct him and give him loving attention and guidance in the midst of doing life (but the manifestation of this is in constant flux).
This is how I feel too.

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Old 10-08-2010, 12:53 AM
 
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Old 10-08-2010, 04:30 AM
 
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I guess I would say I'm a SAHP rather than a homemaker. "Homemaker" sounds contrived to me, and I was into decorating, scratch cooking, keeping a tidy house, etc. when I was single, those interests didn't change just because I married and had a family. I quit my job because of my kids, not my house.

Personally, I like the term housewife. What do you do?/I'm a housewife. It makes me feel all glam and Mad Men-y, like all I do is shop and sit around and eat bon bons, lol.
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Old 10-08-2010, 04:52 AM
 
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Neither...I just happen to currently be unemployed.

Damn economy.
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Old 10-09-2010, 02:40 AM
 
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I consider myself a homemaker, too. Now I get to do that full-time, but even when I was a WOH, I was still the homemaker.
This is my feeling too. I currently work PT, out of necessity, but I consider it to be a temporary thing and basically a means to an end- the end being my career goal of sahm/homemaker!

Quote:
Originally Posted by EmTheWife View Post
I guess I consider the SAHP title to have more to do with focusing one's energy mainly on the child/children, rather than on the whole family relationship.
The happiest I have ever been in my life was when I was on a maternity leave after having my 2nd child, puttering in the kitchen while watching the kiddos in the next room. Everything in our family just seems to run better when one parent is home most of the time to manage the kids and household. I enjoy my children, and part of my reasoning for wanting to sah is so that I can focus more of my energies on homeschooling, but another big reason is that I just love slow-paced days hanging out in my kitchen. I get a huge amount of satisfaction out of keeping a clean, organized house, gardening, canning, all that household management stuff. Pre-kid, I never thought I would want to be such a domestic type of mom!

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Old 10-09-2010, 03:06 AM
 
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I too would consider myself a homemaker, as I do much more than parent. However, if we didn't have a child, I would not be at home. So having a baby brought me home, but it also opened up the time and energy for me to keep the house, do the budget, cooking, laundry, most cleaning, etc. I love it!

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Old 10-09-2010, 03:31 AM
 
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The majority of my time is devoted to raising my children. They participate in helping me get the necessary things done around the house, but housework is not our only, nor the highest, priority in our lives.

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Old 10-11-2010, 01:34 PM
 
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I prefer the term "housewife." "Homemaker" sounds too post-modern/self-conscious to me. However, I doubt that I'd be staying home if we didn't have young kids, and will probably be working at least part-time again well before our younger kid is in school. Ideally, though, I will work from home, with my own business(es).

I love good food and I'm most serious about the cooking, food-producing, and nutrition end of the housewife job description. I find being organized very important to maintaining my own sanity, but cleaning isn't a super high priority for me (except when it comes to dirty dishes. I cannot function with dirty dishes cluttering the kitchen.)
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Old 10-13-2010, 11:49 AM
 
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hmmmm....I struggle with both homemaker and stay at home mom. I feel that it sounds as though all I do is stay at home. I do alot of stuff outside of the home and I am busy all the time. I feel that neither title really conveys that you are BUSY.

I had to go to a specialist and on the form where is asks for occupation I wrote: Domestic Engineer and CEO of household management. Sounded good to me.....
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Old 10-13-2010, 12:21 PM
 
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homemaker- but this was what I wanted to do even before I had a baby- stay at home a lot, garden, cook, make my home a beautiful sacred place to reside, cook for myself and my husband- I love doing all that stuff and feel very fortunate to be able to stay at home with my baby in my home that I have created a space in and maintain. I have always felt that this is what I want to do and I really like where I live so that helps a lot!
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