How often do you feel unappreciated? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 38 Old 11-04-2010, 07:29 PM
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SAHM of 9 years....and most days I feel this way, but sometimes it's your perspective?

For example, my kids often say "Thank you for breakfast/lunch/dinner" mom. TBH it's something dh has asked them to do, and they do forget when they really dislike dinner, but I hear it a few times a week.

They color things for me

Every night we have the same bedtime routine. "Good night. I love you. Sweet dreams" And they both say "Good night, I love you, too." and give me hugs. They're things I built into their routine so that hopefully, even on "bad days" I'd still have a nice good night.

(that doesn't mean ever night is all sunshine and roses LOL, the 5 yr old is NOT always keen to go to bed, and is frequently whiney and crying on those nights)

~Autumn~   Mama to whistling.gif (2001) and hearts.gif(2005) partners.gif madly in love since '99 
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#32 of 38 Old 11-07-2010, 06:13 PM
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I think my feelings are especially intense because I just started SAH again after 1.5 years working with constant paychecks and very good reviews and always being commended for doing a great job.

Now I sit at home. And I have to choices: give DS2 the boob all freaking day and leave the house a wreck, or clean the house and listen to two kids whine and scream all day.

Every day I think to myself, "Why did I quit working AND smoking at the same time?" Seriously... bad idea...

Sunny coolshine.gif: gun toting, retired breastfeeding, car seat loving, guitar playing, home birthing and schooling mama to Jakob (10.06), Mikah (07.08) and Korah (07.11). uc.jpg 

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#33 of 38 Old 11-07-2010, 06:23 PM
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I'm not sah, (hoping to be soon, so lurking). I come from a praise heavy household, and dh's parents never say anything nice about anything.

but I have had good luck telling my dh that I need praise, and then following up with prompting. I try not fall in the trap of -- if I have to ask it doesnt count.

So yesterday I cleaned our laundry room top to bottom while DH and DS took a nap. When they woke up, I told him I'd clean the laundry room, and to check it out and tell me how I did. lol! he did compliment my hard work, and I felt great about it.

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#34 of 38 Old 11-07-2010, 06:26 PM
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If not currently nursing a child... go on a three day retreat. My family always worships me when I get back.
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#35 of 38 Old 11-07-2010, 06:45 PM
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DH got a scary reminder of how much he appreciates what I do this weekend. One of his co-worker's wives fell, hit her head, and is in critical condition in ICU. She is doing a little better today, but its still not sure if she's going to survive.

DH came home from the hospital, listened to our three kids and niece who spent the night running around with the dishwasher, washing machine and dryer all running in the background, and gave me a big ol' hug saying, quite honestly, that he doesn't know what he would do without me.

But over the last eleven years there have been plenty of weeks I have felt unappreciated. And so has, rightly, DH. We're both so busy it's hard not to feel like we don't get recognized for all we do.

I work part-time now, and am on the boards of some non-profit groups, so I currently get some recognition for work I do (paychecks, and end of the year little gifts for service from the boards), but in my years of only SAHMing, ugh. There was none of the tangible rewards to let me know that yes, someone doe appreciate all my work.

This is especially frustrating when the days are mixed with kids telling you you are ruining their lives (or whatever kid phrasing they are using at that age) because you made them turn off the TV and brush their teeth or do their homework or whatever task they are upset at being asked to do. Or the whole Groundhog Day-ness of doing the same things over and over and over just to have them immediately undone (clean dishes get dirtied, clean clothes get worn, the clean floors get stepped on by muddy shoes, etc.). That part is extremely unnerving to me, that everything I do from day to day seems useless.

I do sometimes look back at the scrapbook from the early years of my children's lives and just sit and appreciate for myself, all that I have done with and for the kids.

Mom to John (age 11), James (age 9) & Katherine (age 5)
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#36 of 38 Old 11-08-2010, 12:53 AM
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All.. the.. time.. Especially the last few months. DH has been gone ALOT and seems to think there is nothing wrong with expecting a huge welcome home and "time off" when he gets home, forgetting that Ive been working to 24/7. At least he got to sleep all night and didn't have to deal with the girls waking up with night terrors, throwing up several times a night, cooking, cleaning, caring, teaching, parenting etc etc etc.. He ticks me off every time he gets off of one of his work trips. Especially the last one when he said he was "so exhausted" then admited to the fact that out of the 2 weeks he was there he worked maybe 4 days and the rest he had off to do whatever with.

Ok, vent over. Its been bugging me lately. I would love one night to sleep without getting woken up repeatedly or a day without being bit/hit/puked on/peed on or pooped on.

~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
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#37 of 38 Old 11-17-2010, 07:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Chicky2 View Post

Originally Posted by AngieB View Post
This thread has perfect timing. I have been thinking about this so much lately. I think I'm at a all time low in my sahm career. I feel bored, lonely, trapped and unappreciated. I feel like I have given up myself for the family and no one seems to notice. and if I have to do one more load of laundy, pick up someone elses garbage off the ground, cook another meal that no one will eat...I'm going to go crazy.
Well, except for the part about a meal no one will eat, this is me right now. I just wish someone would give me a suggestion as to what to make for them to eat. We are under alot of stress right now, and my hormones are wacky, and I think I'm losing it at least 3 times daily.

you both hit this one on the head for me.   i am pretty much feeling sorry for myself and just want to run away from it all.  however, at the end of the day, the kids are the ones that love me unconditionally and never judge.  as for dh, different story.  i am at the point with him and his dumb comments that i can't even stand being around him.  it is so so so so sad, but true.  i couldn't wait for everyone to go to sleep just so i would have a single moment to myself, which dh usually interupts because he 'needs' something.  sorry for being negative nancy, but i am not a happy mama these days. 

mama to 2 spirited lil ladies, 7 and 5, life learning, beachin' it, growing, creating , cooking, playing and lovin' it all
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#38 of 38 Old 11-17-2010, 07:34 PM
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the only times i really feel unappreciated is when we have had one tantrum after another all afternoon, which means that the house is wreck, dinner isn't done, and i am exhausted.  it is a gaurentee dh will walk in the door look around the place and say, "what did you do all day? this place is a mess."  seriously? i just spent 3 hours working in a mental hospital, so give me a break.  cause all he sees is the wreck and the recovered children.  not the horrible afternoon i had.

but it doesn't happen that often.

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