Six months of work left - WWYD to prepare to SAH? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 10-18-2010, 05:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm scared and excited at the same time--I have six months of work left before we move and I get to SAH FT w/DD1 (she'll be 2.5 yrs.). I was off for three months after her birth, and it was really hard on me, so I'm wondering if there's a "trick" to staying home that I missed during that time. She was colicky, never slept, had GI issues...plus she is my first baby and I was afraid to leave the house with her, much less grocery shop alone.

So is there anything I should be doing to "prepare" for a year or more at home? DH has suggested putting DD in a very part-time pre-school type program so that I get some "me time"....

Is there anything you wish you knew or did before leaving work to SAH?

I'm so I can hardly contain myself!

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#2 of 13 Old 10-19-2010, 04:59 PM
 
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I don't have activity advice, my lo is only 5.5 months, but I really recommend working with your budget/using the next few months to get used to living off of one income (basically stashing all of your income away in a savings account, in case of a rainy day later on (or some, if some of your income is necessary for basic necessities now)).
It has taken us a lot of work to get our life style in line with only having one income, and this has made the transition more stressful for us than my actually being home.
Once you arrive at your new living place, find some other mommies who also stay home, and arrange "play dates" where all moms are present, but the child care is shared, and you all can commiserate with each other. They've been a lifesaver for me
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#3 of 13 Old 10-26-2010, 10:01 PM
 
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If you don't already have a group of SAHM-friends, join a mom's group and see if they have night/weekend activities so you'll have a lot of friends once you're officially a SAHM. I felt so isolated for DS's first year & now it's great because I have activities with 2 mom's groups several days a week.

Also, make sure you & DH are on the same page with regard to expectations -- are you solely responsible for taking care of & entertaining your DD during the day, or will your DH expect you to keep up with all the housework & have dinner ready when he gets home... stuff like that.

And the financial stuff... get used to living on one income now, and build up a bit of savings if possible.

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#4 of 13 Old 10-26-2010, 10:12 PM
 
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I would expect a bit of an adjustment period in the beginning. Having a basic routine helps. Think of fun things you want to do with your daughter - park, zoo, that sort of thing. Also think of things that you want to do - pick up hobbies again and that sort of thing. And I think it helps to meet people, it's nice to meet someone for lunch or coffee.

If your daughter still naps, I personally don't think that a preschool program is necessary. My son naps 2-3 hours a day and I really don't know what I'd do with even more free time!

Baby Boy 9/08 & Baby Girl 3/11

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#5 of 13 Old 10-26-2010, 10:31 PM
 
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Find a friend who sah in your neighborhood, one who you can hang out with on the spur of the moment if you need do. Other sah adults are the ticket to sanity.
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#6 of 13 Old 10-26-2010, 10:33 PM
 
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Congrats - it sounds like you're excited! I'm finding being with the kids (mostly) really rewarding. I definitely agree with the ideas that other posters have said. In regards to coming up with some sort of a routine, it might be helpful to read the chapters on that in Simplicity Parenting to give you some ideas. Regardless of anything, I'd highly recommend building in some quiet time into your day, especially if your dd doesn't nap. I actually wrote a blog entry on how to do that, recently: http://fltngmoments.wordpress.com/20...hour-a-primer/

Other than that, try to heap on the grace on those days that don't go as you'd hoped. All the best!

Married to DH since 2006.  Adoptive mom to DD1 (June 2002), DS (Jan 2006), and bio mom to DD2 (May 2009).

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#7 of 13 Old 10-27-2010, 01:04 AM
 
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I would work on a budget and practice it for the 6 months and a routine. Accept that your days will not run smoothly every day. A menu plan will help, but don't stress if you don't feel like cooking every day. You will get burnt out if you try to do everything. There is an adjustment period and its different for every person.

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#8 of 13 Old 10-27-2010, 01:14 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justKate View Post
I'm scared and excited at the same time--I have six months of work left before we move and I get to SAH FT w/DD1 (she'll be 2.5 yrs.). I was off for three months after her birth, and it was really hard on me, so I'm wondering if there's a "trick" to staying home that I missed during that time. She was colicky, never slept, had GI issues...plus she is my first baby and I was afraid to leave the house with her, much less grocery shop alone.

So is there anything I should be doing to "prepare" for a year or more at home? DH has suggested putting DD in a very part-time pre-school type program so that I get some "me time"....

Is there anything you wish you knew or did before leaving work to SAH?

I'm so I can hardly contain myself!
subbing for tips, I'm thinking of making this shift after baby #2.

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#9 of 13 Old 10-27-2010, 10:55 AM
 
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Yes, use this time to get used to living on one income, and stash as much of your paycheck as possible in savings. Or, if you have debt, live on his income and use yours to pay down as much as possible.

Start looking around for other sahm's and at activities you might like to do with your kids.
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#10 of 13 Old 10-27-2010, 12:00 PM
 
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I would join a mom's group when you move, and you might be able to research online to find them now even. Also, you could join a gym with child care to get some "me time" instead of a preschool if you wanted, and you could consider that option. I would also look into what free or cheap activities are available where you are moving, like children's museums, play areas, whatever is there. It helped me at some times when dd #1 was little to have one destination each day where we could go. It helped to break up the day and make me feel less isolated, plus it's a place to meet other parents with little kids.
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#11 of 13 Old 10-29-2010, 07:24 AM
 
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Try to find groups that are your style...LLL, holistic moms, homeschool group...Being a "MOthering" mom can put you into a different frame of mind.

Only other thing is get OUTSIDE everyday. Even if you just walk around the corner.

Enjoy
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#12 of 13 Old 11-01-2010, 03:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all of the thoughts! I am really excited, although definitely nervous. I can't wait to join you all in a few months!

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#13 of 13 Old 11-04-2010, 04:02 AM
 
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The hardest thing to me was going from a job that I was well liked, well appreciated and had a LOT of social interaction to one where the only "thanks" I got was the person I tipped for loading my grocheries into the car. It was hard (for me) to go from getting everything done, done well and done on time to maybe getting dinner on the table if I was lucky and DD1 was willing to be put down (she was a pretty high needs infants).
Also the lack of social interaction (even though Im an introvert I liked being able to have people around if I wanted to interact with someone) was hard, especially when DH had to leave for training and I was left months without another adult to talk to. Definetly get some SAHM/SAHD friends. Its a ton easier now that I know people around my neighborhood that I can visit when DH is gone.

~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
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