I stopped counting (and looking at the paystubs) for the hours worked. We also live an hour from "the office".
6 years ago dh worked for a small contracting company, and his hours would range from 20 hours a week to 100 hours a week. And I can honestly say, I like the "normal hours" he has now. When he was home too much it was stressful, and when he was gone all the time, it was stressful.
His hours now are 9 am-6:30pm. He leaves here no later than 8:15, and gets home between 7:30 and 8:00. Unless he stays late to mentor newbies, or catch up, or something "catches fire" (breaks). He works IT, so thing break....a lot. And he works for a big company, so when things break, it's bad.
When we first were married he was in the service, and I HATED IT when he would be in the field, or on duty because he wasn't home. I didn't mind the solid work hours, no matter if it was day or night crew. I came to prefer night crew because then he could help with the baby in the afternoon when he got up, and I could get things done and prepared for the evening.
With his hours now, he's lucky to see either child before he leaves for work, and he usually only gets to see them for a few minutes when he gets home. We're always working on our bedtime routines starting around 7pm. Since homeschool, I've let the kids stay up later, just to maximize the chance to have some time with daddy.
I have also really gotten used to the hours, and my whole day has a routine to it. I get to have a 'slow start' to the morning, and do our homeschooling before lunch (though we usually school through lunch and for a little while after) and then I spend my late afternoon and early evening doing the things I do around the house. This is ideal for me because it's when I feel I function best. I am NOT a morning person, and the kids don't appreciate me doing my work while they're sleeping.
sorry!!
Stressful days - we've had to learn how to complain about our bad days, I usually let him go first, because I'd rather the kids not be able to listen to me rant about them (if they were what made my day stressful). We also communicate via IM through out the day, so we usually give each other a "heads up" so to speak about bad days.
Reconnection - we cuddle. We'll sit together at night and watch our favorite tv shows. It's a lovely way to unwind, with out having to fill the time with talking.
Showers - we 'join' each other when we shower. One of us controls the music on Slacker, and we chat, then we switch places.
Dates - sometimes they involve the kids, once a month we'd like to go out as a family, sit down and eat dinner with out having to clean up. (and on regular nights I don't worry too much about completely cleaning up from dinner, I know the mess will be there tomorrow, and dh will be at work, so I leave it.) And then dates with out the kids, always a meal, sometimes a movie, sometimes window shopping. It doesn't matter, but I LOVE to just hold hands and not have to worry about who has which kid, are there cars, etc.
I'm sure there was more I was going to say, but dh came home mid-post, so it's time for some tv-cuddling before I pass out