I wish I didnt have to say this (and I like DH most of the time btw), but Thank God it's Monday!
When he is here, I feel like the work I have to do is so much harder than it is.
There is some houswork that can be put off on the weekend, but not the cooking, dishes, and laundry.
I feel like when he is here, he creates more of a mess and confusion to the mix. It also seems harder to cook and do housework when he is around than when I have all 3 kids by myself.
He likes to lounge around, listen to music, watch football........
I dont like to sit around anyway, so I'm not jealous about that, but it just irritates me while I'm working.
He throws little comments in about how I should leave the laundry till Monday. He sees that every night from a family of 5 that the basket is full up to the top. He just says it to give himself a free pass on guilt. He thinks that it's my choice if I keep working all weekend. He says I choose to cook and clean up and do laundry. I've asked him how he thinks everyone will eat? How he thinks we wont get ants or have clean dishes when we need them if no one does them.
His answer is to order out. Order out 3 meals a day for 2 days in a row?????? It really annoys me.
It's not like he is not a hard worker, he just feels that I really should leave it all till the weekend is over. Ive told him time and time again that it's not possible because as it is I still spend all day Monday doing all the other stuff that I let go.
He'll do what ever I specifically ask him to do (with a groan). He just wont take the initiative to make things a little easier for me and I guess that's what bothers me. He is getting better as we are married longer, but man, it's a slow process. I feel like I have another kid. A giant, hungry, whining, opinionated kid sometimes!
When Friday comes I say TGIF, because I miss him and look forward to being with him on the weekend.
When Monday comes I say TGIM, so I can clean up the wreck of the house from the kids all weekend in peace with out him on the couch!
As I type, I am literally surrounded by EVERY room in this house having not much floor space.
Off to tackle that. No MDC for me today till I can see floor again.
Ha! I feel you. Weekends are tough for me -- during the week we have such a smooth rhythm, and on the weekends it just seems like a constant battle to maintain that. DH likes to sleep in (fine, I am an early bird) but I hate having to keep everyone quiet and remind DD that he's sleeping...and if he does get woken up he's just so bratty and that sours the tone for the rest of the day *note we are having our own personal issues now, grumble, so that plays into it*
I remember when we first started our family, having weekends like this. Dh didn't really _get_ that weekends weren't our "day off" anymore. When it was just us, we did cool stuff on Saturdays and left the laundry until Sunday afternoon. Well, when I had two kids in cloth diapers and lots of linens to catch spit-up, spilled messes, etc., I couldn't just "leave" the laundry all weekend.
Nor could I forego making lunch like I could when it was just us - heck, I'd have coffee until noon and then we'd just have an early dinner at four and call it good. Can't do that with kids!
It took us awhile to establish our "family rhythm" but we got there. It took time and a little frustration on both of our parts, but we got it worked out. :)
I totally understand. My DH really DOES create more work right now being home. He's in school full time in addition to working full time. So much of his time at home is spent doing homework, working on projects and studying. So much of MY time is spent trying to redirect the 2 year old who just wants to see her daddy, who she worships. He does take some time to spend with her, chasing her around, etc. But he can't spend the whole weekend doing that, like she would like, there comes a time that homework has to get done.
Not to mention that he throws off our whole routine for the day. We eat breakfast while watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and breakfast is usually eggs or homemade pancakes or something else cooked. When DH is home, he wants to cut up fruit and let her eat it off the end table on the run. I prefer to give her water during the day, he is ALWAYS giving her juice-I don't mind if she has juice, but not ALL DAY.
Now, I am not a 100% SAHM, I work part time-VERY part time, just one day a week for 6 hours. And man, when I come back home after those six hours, it's as if the house has been transformed into a mad house. I am really questioning working at all.
i could have written the op word-for-word. .. exactly.
i have had several discussions with my DH about this lately and he is getting a tiny bit better about the couch sitting ... plus his thing is that he doesnt want to stay home all day - but i finally have someone - in theory- to watch the kids so i can get stuff done so i don't really want to go anywhere.. i wish there was a way to see him more without having to do 2 whole days on the weekend :P
I think some people are just better at turning off. I'm not good at it at all, but man, my dh sure knows how to sit on the couch and just be. Doing nothing. If I'm watching tv I'm ironing, reading, emailing, hopping up 400 times for things for the kids or to switch out laundry or start a meal.
He's gotten better since we added a second kid and a chronic illness to our lives. But I will still subtly dump the laundry baskets on the living room floor and walk away to do something else. 9/10 times it gets folded and the last time I will start it at some point and he will jump in to help.