considering making the plunge - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 01-02-2011, 09:50 PM - Thread Starter
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I've always been a really driven career kind of person - work really long hours, super committed, and driven.  I always assumed that I would work after my kids were born.


I went back after DS (2 years) was born.  I missed him, but I was pretty happy being back to work.  DD is 4 months old.  I took 3 months off for maternity and have been back for about a month.  I'm really miserable.  Not happy to be at work, and missing the kids like crazy.  I went from my maternity leave - happiness level 10 - to now - happiness level 3 or so.  


Well, the good news is that my husband is on board with whatever I want to do.  He spent a few days reeling from the shock of me doing such a 180 but he recovered.  We have spent the last few weeks trying to figure out how to manage things financially.  I make a bit more than DH so we are talking about a huge cut in income.  We live in a massively expensive city, have a big mortgage, and a lifestyle based on this income.  So we plan to spend the next few months paying off debts, getting out of our mortgage, and figuring out how to make this happen.  We are looking at buying a house in a rural area and really cutting back on our lifestyle.  Huge changes!


So I'm trying to get used to this whole lifestyle change.  I'll be lurking in here...


Any regrets, thoughts, wisdom?  


Am I totally insane to even be considering this?


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#2 of 4 Old 01-10-2011, 06:01 AM
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Hey! I did this...though my career wasn't exactly lucrative as a librarian and we live in a small rural college town, so the financial transition does not sound as dramatic as yours will be...having done this (quit my job in August), I personally have no regrets. The first week was kind of euphoric. Then reality set in, right? Biggest thing I miss about working is just the built in quiet and privacy of an office and the ability to check my email or Facebook without a child trying to do jumping jacks on my keyboard or yelling "whale tale whale tale" (because once we watched a you tube video of whales on the computer! ack!). Also I miss the certainty of being dressed and showered and lip-glossed daily. Yes, I could still do that every day, but when you're at home sometimes it's easier to let that slip, especially on the hard days. And I also kind of miss wasting money on personal care items. (Visions of begging husband for $5 for a new pair of hanes underwear from walmart arise.) Having other SAHM friends can really make a difference - sometimes you need that social adult contact (library storytimes can help with that) - it is possible to feel kind of lonely & isolated otherwise if you are used to daily adult social contact through work. blah blah blah - but, I am also much much happier than I was when I was trying to balance work with my little one - and I can always go back to work! Have you seen the book "radical domesticity"? It might have some stories about big city mamas trying to simplify to be stay-at-home. Good luck whatever you decide!

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#3 of 4 Old 01-13-2011, 09:59 PM
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i did this!  had a really, really great job.....thought i'd work after having kids.....i wanted to stay home with baby 1, but i didnt.....i REALLY wanted to stay home with baby 2,  but couldnt....and by baby 3, i was FINALLY able to stay at home.  it has been a year, and i LOVE my "new life"!!!!  i wish i would have made the proper adjustments to have this lifestyle while i was pregnant with #1.  unfortunately, i didnt....and i spent the next few years changing everything about my life so that i could stay at home.  i too made more than my hubby, and we had to make some major lifestyle changes to be able to stay at home. i was really worried about finances, but i am frugal and somehow it just all works out.  i miss talking with friends at work, some peace and quiet, nice lunches, etc.....but there are so many bettter and more meaningful things that i do with my day now, like hug my kids, answer their questions, teach them, play with them, etc.  no, it is NOT easy to stay home and deal with crying babies, demanding preschoolers, constant cleaning, etc......but i wouldnt trade it for the world!

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#4 of 4 Old 01-18-2011, 03:55 AM
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Hello!  I, too, am considering making the change from wohm to sahm.  I work part time, three days or four days a week, and it's just beginning to wear on me.  I sah when my daughter was very young, and it was wonderful bonding with her in the way I didn't feel I was able to with my son. 


Now I have two kiddos, and we just try to make it through the week.  I'm a little stressed about finances, however.  All of our expenses are pretty low, but I'm used to having a big cushion now. 


My dd only has a year left before she starts school, and I don't want to miss this time with her... and I'd like to give my son some one on one mama time too.


Good luck with your transition.  I'm still trying to figure out a way to tell my boss that I'm quitting at the end of the school year.

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