It's the dead of winter, so we're not spending hours outside like we used to. DH is currently (unexpectedly) unemployed so he's home during the day & helping me with DS & chores, which is great but leaves me not knowing what to do with myself. We only have one kid, and though he's very intense/high-needs, he's also very well-behaved & organized so it's not like I spend all day chasing & cleaning up after him and stuff, mostly we just read to him all day, take him to the library, etc. The house definitely could use some attention (remodeling & some cleaning) but I am too tired from the erratic night-waking (23mo DS still wakes up every hour or more often some nights, and my body has just gotten into the habit of frequent waking even when he randomly sleeps 4 hours straight.) I WAH 20 hours a week but it's really slow right now, plus I hate the job & get no enjoyment from it (hoping to quit altogether once DH finds a job). I've been trying to schedule more playdates and things like that but everyone was so busy with the holidays & it's taking some time to get back into the swing of things. We want a second baby, which I'm sure would keep me busy, but it's been a year+ of TTC & still, nothing.
Don't get me wrong, many days I feel like there just aren't enough hours in the day, and often I'm overwhelmed by just caring for DS. I guess what I'm really missing is a sense of personal fulfillment... maybe a hobby or something... something that doesn't zap all my energy or require an hour straight of devoted attention... I don't know. I guess I'm one of those people that gets all my energy from being around others (despite me being very shy/introverted!) and I don't know what to do when it's just me, DS, & DH, hanging around the house. I feel compelled to fill the time so I go online or sometimes watch TV, but I don't like spending so many hours just wasting away my time. Anyone else share these feelings? Anyone found some ways to conquer them???
I would definitely try a new hobby. Do you knit or sew? I find that if I haven't knit or sewed or something for a while I have a deep craving to create. Not just to do something but to MAKE something, y'know?
Maybe a new book or book club would help. There has got to be something local (at your library maybe) or even online that could provide you some adult conversation.
And even though you might feel tired (and believe me, I know. My 22mo old is up several times a night lately!) it might make you feel better to choose one house chore- organize the kitchen cabinets or purge the bathroom. I ALWAYS feel better when I have done some little thing like that.
Finally, maybe some exercise or yoga?
Mama to two girls: 5/06 and 3/09
Yeah I did sign up for a step class 2x/week at our rec center, it starts next week. I'm hoping to work out more but it's too cold outside & our inside was taken over with Christmas gifts lol but I'm working on that issue....
I did belong to a super-informal book club but we haven't met up in a while. I need to get back to the library for some books, that's part of my problem I think (the library has been closed every time I tried to go lately between holidays & blizzard!!!)
Crafting -- great idea. I'm not sure what to make. I can't buy fabric right now (since DH is laid off) but I have some random scraps I could work with if I could decide what to make. Maybe I should paint too. It's just hard to get into a creative mode when I know I'm going to get interrupted in 1/2 an hour with DS screaming to nurse (he just can't go very long...... *sigh*)
I guess I have a million things I COULD be doing but not much that gives me fulfillment. And I think I always get this bored/ansty feeling after the holidays because I was so busy & goal-oriented & now suddenly I'm... not.
time for another baby?