What do you look like when your DH walks in the door and how do you greet him? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 160 Old 01-15-2011, 11:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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OP here

 

My original post had nothing to do with being a mommy martyr. If DH cared, then I would squeeze in a primping routine, but he doesnt- so why bother?

........ and when I had one kid- I did do the routine every day. I was just used to it.

Over the years my priorities changed. Hmmm, the baby is napping now- should I vacuum and dust, throw in the laundry, bake cookies for the kids, or use this only 40 minutes I'm gunna get to style my hair and put on make up? My choice. Dh is gone from 5:30 AM- about 9pm every day. Most people are probably in their pjs or sweats by the time he gets home anyway.

 I am clean. I wash face, brush teeth, brush hair, put in pontytail everyday and shower 6 out of 7 days a week. There is usually 1 really rough day where it actually cant happen.

This had nothing to do with hygeine- just looking put together.

 

Here is a perfect example of why I dont bother:

Last night, for the first time in over a year I got dressed in a nice outfit, had makeup on, did my hair, jewelry and highish heels.

I had MIL come over so when DH got home we could go out for 1 hr just for a drink. DH was glad about that, but when he saw me, he didnt even say a word.

I asked him if he noticed how I looked. He said yeah, but why would you bother with that?

I really think it only matters what happens in the bedroom with some fancy underwear and the rest of the time I can look like  plain sloppy Jane.

If he doesnt say I look nice, and doesnt care- why go through the trouble? Right? I feel like I wasted my time and I should have just folded the laundry and went out for a drink with my plain face and ponytail.

I think being a SAHM for 7 years is just making me feel like I've lost the girly part of me, but it's just not important enough to do anything but vent about it. Most of the time I dont think about it and I'm actually rather happy.

Now I'm off to fold that laundry.

 

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#62 of 160 Old 01-15-2011, 04:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

I think everyone is talking about different things.  There is a difference between putting on nice clothes (I don't consider a pair of jeans and a tshirt nice, but some people do so there is a difference as well!) and make up and brushing your teeth JUST before partner gets home and making sure everything is perfect and pretty a la june cleaver, and wearing something halfway decent and having brushed your teeth at SOME point during the day, and maybe even doing more than a ponytail with your hair.

 

Looking nice/decent because you  do that generally at some point during the day and it carries over to when your partner gets home is different I think than making sure you look nice/decent ONLY because your partner will be home within the next 10-20 minutes or so.

 

With that said, I don't think being in ratty stained pajamas for the third day in a row with your hair in an an brushed ponytail is necessarily bad either.  If everyone is alive and well and the partners aren't in the middle of an ongoing argument that creates a coldness when the out of home partner gets home, then thins are probably okay.

 

For myself, sometimes I'm in the ratty pajamas for the third day in a row  but this is usually on days where I've done a ton of cleaning and haven't left the house.  On days where I leave the house OR I haven't done much that my husband can see upon coming home, I'll usually make an effort to put on nicer clothes sometime before him getting home.  It is a psychological thing though.  He struggles with the in home/out of home parenting thing.  Days where he comes home to the house a mess, he has a hard time realizing its because kiddo was a struggle that day so I spent a great deal of time giving her whatever it was she needed which took me away from cleaning and such.  When I look like I got dressed and cleaned up a bit, he generally thinks I've done more than he can see.  Its silly but its him so I go with it.  It keeps us from fighting about how I don't do anything during the day while he is working hard which I know isn't true (melt downs all day is hard work!) but he just doesn't GET that when the dishes have piled up and laundry isn't done.

 

Of course, I also have plenty of days where I change out of my pjs (which are just sweats by the way) and have showered and everything by 10am (early for me :D) and it has nothing to do with anyone but me (or a shower was just the only thing that helped my kiddo out of a meltdown.... )

 

however, my worst days where I look like crap all day and I've done little at all I chalk up to the health issues I deal with.  I have a whole list going that makes life a struggle for me.  He also doesn't understand this so much as its nothing you can see (things like depression and severe anxiety and other issues caused by a junky thyroid) and he hasn't experienced it either.  It causes friction but while I work on getting healthy, he is working on sensitivity and empathy.

 

He would never expect me to be dressed and lovely every single day though.  He DOES like to be greeted however.  I usually get kiddo excited when he pulls up so by the time he comes in the door she is yelling for him.  It keeps me from having to jump up immediately if I'm in the middle of something, or it gives him time to relax after work before getting to me since he can come home pretty crabby and he is better about putting it aside for kiddo where he sometimes releases it on me (just short and gruff, but enough to annoy me) so its a win win all around.  He gets greeted, kiddo is happy, and I can finish what i'm in the middle of and not have a crabby husband :)

 

We only have one child right now though.  I'd label her borderline high needs (and now a toddler who isn't very verbal yet which is driving us both insane!) but still, one kiddo is a lot easier I think than a bunch of kiddos or special needs kiddos or what have you.  Had I had twins, things could be a lot worse here!  I didn't enter into motherhood and SAHMing gracefully.


I'm sorry, I hope I don't offend, but you wear clothes three days in a row? Even while sleeping? I don't think I could ever do that...


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#63 of 160 Old 01-15-2011, 05:22 PM
 
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I do wear clothes several times before washing if they dont get dirty. But I dont sleep in day clothes but I do wear my night clothes during the day if I am not going anywhere. That dosnt count panties but it does count bra's if/when I wear one. Unless you get dirty I dont see a need to wash after only wear plus washing them so much would mean they wear out faster.

 
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#64 of 160 Old 01-15-2011, 06:16 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsBone View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

I think everyone is talking about different things.  There is a difference between putting on nice clothes (I don't consider a pair of jeans and a tshirt nice, but some people do so there is a difference as well!) and make up and brushing your teeth JUST before partner gets home and making sure everything is perfect and pretty a la june cleaver, and wearing something halfway decent and having brushed your teeth at SOME point during the day, and maybe even doing more than a ponytail with your hair.

 

Looking nice/decent because you  do that generally at some point during the day and it carries over to when your partner gets home is different I think than making sure you look nice/decent ONLY because your partner will be home within the next 10-20 minutes or so.

 

With that said, I don't think being in ratty stained pajamas for the third day in a row with your hair in an an brushed ponytail is necessarily bad either.  If everyone is alive and well and the partners aren't in the middle of an ongoing argument that creates a coldness when the out of home partner gets home, then thins are probably okay.

 

For myself, sometimes I'm in the ratty pajamas for the third day in a row  but this is usually on days where I've done a ton of cleaning and haven't left the house.  On days where I leave the house OR I haven't done much that my husband can see upon coming home, I'll usually make an effort to put on nicer clothes sometime before him getting home.  It is a psychological thing though.  He struggles with the in home/out of home parenting thing.  Days where he comes home to the house a mess, he has a hard time realizing its because kiddo was a struggle that day so I spent a great deal of time giving her whatever it was she needed which took me away from cleaning and such.  When I look like I got dressed and cleaned up a bit, he generally thinks I've done more than he can see.  Its silly but its him so I go with it.  It keeps us from fighting about how I don't do anything during the day while he is working hard which I know isn't true (melt downs all day is hard work!) but he just doesn't GET that when the dishes have piled up and laundry isn't done.

 

Of course, I also have plenty of days where I change out of my pjs (which are just sweats by the way) and have showered and everything by 10am (early for me :D) and it has nothing to do with anyone but me (or a shower was just the only thing that helped my kiddo out of a meltdown.... )

 

however, my worst days where I look like crap all day and I've done little at all I chalk up to the health issues I deal with.  I have a whole list going that makes life a struggle for me.  He also doesn't understand this so much as its nothing you can see (things like depression and severe anxiety and other issues caused by a junky thyroid) and he hasn't experienced it either.  It causes friction but while I work on getting healthy, he is working on sensitivity and empathy.

 

He would never expect me to be dressed and lovely every single day though.  He DOES like to be greeted however.  I usually get kiddo excited when he pulls up so by the time he comes in the door she is yelling for him.  It keeps me from having to jump up immediately if I'm in the middle of something, or it gives him time to relax after work before getting to me since he can come home pretty crabby and he is better about putting it aside for kiddo where he sometimes releases it on me (just short and gruff, but enough to annoy me) so its a win win all around.  He gets greeted, kiddo is happy, and I can finish what i'm in the middle of and not have a crabby husband :)

 

We only have one child right now though.  I'd label her borderline high needs (and now a toddler who isn't very verbal yet which is driving us both insane!) but still, one kiddo is a lot easier I think than a bunch of kiddos or special needs kiddos or what have you.  Had I had twins, things could be a lot worse here!  I didn't enter into motherhood and SAHMing gracefully.


I'm sorry, I hope I don't offend, but you wear clothes three days in a row? Even while sleeping? I don't think I could ever do that...



yes, sometimes I do.  my pajamas (sweats) are the most comfortable thing I own and the times when I'd wear them a few days in a row are the days where I'm doing little more than tantrum control and trying to survive myself.  I don't even leave the house those days except maybe to drive around during nap time for some sanity.  I gained 30 pounds right after giving birth due to my thyroid gong wacko so I have little that fits and I struggle with enough other issues to just not care about putting on something I don't feel fully comfortable in.  They aren't dirty.  I'm not digging in the garden or dusting the house ceiling fan to base boards.  I'm not even really sweating.  I'm just trying to get through the rough days my kiddo and I have.  I'll be hard pressed to deal with those days while also dealing with clothes that don't fit me right and add to my aggravation.

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#65 of 160 Old 01-16-2011, 08:02 AM
 
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I only wear sweaters/jackets more than 1 day in a row. Dh wears jeans forever. I personally do not, but I have been known to not change out of bedclothes until the next night when I'm not feeling great (like today with my excruciating back pain and pulled neck muscle).

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#66 of 160 Old 01-16-2011, 09:35 AM
 
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DH and I are probably the most slovenly couple in America, and were even before the babe (4 mos.) was born.  We both wash our stinky parts with washcloths in the sink every day and only take real showers once a week or so.  I rotate my clothing (which basically consists of two pairs of comfy sweatpants, three nursing tanks, one pair of jeans and a few button-up shirts, plus a couple sets of cute pj's) almost every day, but nothing gets washed until approx. the third wear unless it gets pee/poop/spit-up/food on it.  Except underpants.  DH works from home, and wears a lot of pj's and t-shirts, plus hoodies, socks, etc.  We live in my parents' basement apartment, it's pretty chilly (but it has lots of windows, is larger than or last apartment, and is really very nice).  The babe and I visit him throughout the day, and I usually greet him when he's done working for the day with, "Hey, are you done yet?" or "Yay, hold the baby while I finish dinner!" or "What's for dinner?"  We kiss several times during the course of a day, so we may or may not do that when he's done working.  I'm pretty sure he likes the way I look because we have a very similar 90's grunge/cyberpunk/gutterpunk aesthetic involving layers and torn up clothes.  And because we both constantly tell each other how attractive we find one another.


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#67 of 160 Old 01-17-2011, 12:32 PM
 
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I'm a girly-girl, and I like make up and getting dressed up.  But when I am home with the kids, my looks are the last thing on my mind and I dress for comfort.  No make up, hair in pony tail, yoga pants and flip flops.  I assume he does not care - it honestly never occurred to me to worry about it.  

 

  


i'm a girly girl too :) same basic thing (right down to DH saying hi to everyone and then making dinner at some point.) i like to try to look decent for him (and for me.) it doesn't always happen (like today) but i do usually attempt to look cute for him. if i know i'm going somewhere, i'll put on some makeup. i try to keep myself well-groomed and all that too. i adore fashion and clothing so it's not even something i think about. i should ask DH for his opinion on this-he'd probably be in the "be naked when i get home" group ROTFLMAO.gif 
 


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#68 of 160 Old 01-17-2011, 02:59 PM
 
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im gonna read all the replies after i write mine...

 

i usually try too have my jeans on and a nice top, i try to wash my face before hand and run a brush through my hair. i usually have makeup on (usually eyeliner and brow liner) but some days i just dont feel like it.

 

on rough, i might stay in my yoga pants all day and do non of the above.

 

i dont want to be superficial, but i want my dh to want me (in a sexual way) and not just love me for who i am. when i have this mindset, he in turn dresses up more and makes me want him as much as i did, or more, than when we first met.

 

and it depends how i greet him. sometimes we wait for him on the porch, look out the window, sometimes im cooking or sometimes im lost in mommy-world. he always gets a kiss hello, though

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#69 of 160 Old 01-17-2011, 03:09 PM
 
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we only have one baby so far so I shouldn't complain compared to those of you who have many- but I still feel exhausted at the end of the days where dh works. So I usually greet him- either with a kiss and hello if it has been a good day, or a groan and a glare if it has been a bad- and either way- pretty much always put ds directly into his arms and say- here you go, here's your son! And go have some alone time.

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#70 of 160 Old 01-17-2011, 06:41 PM
 
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In the main, DH works from about 3pm-11pm and doesn't get home until around 11:30ish. So normally, I greet him with a snore and wearing pjs! lol.gif That said, on the days he does work a day shift (usually 10am-7pm, getting home around 7:30pm), he'll come in, get bombarded by the kiddos and he comes over to where ever I am sitting/cleaning etc to get a kiss. We exchange the "how was your day?s" and talk about whatever we didn't talk about over text that happened in our day and was noteworthy as we get the kids ready for bed shortly after he gets home. I don't make a point to dress up for him, I just wear whatever it was I wore that day. So if I happened to go out, it'll be jeans or a skirt depending on weather, a nice shirt, a little makeup and hair done. If I stayed home, sweats, one of his tshirts, no makeup, though my hair is done. (To clarify, my hair is at a kind of odd length for me, if I don't blow dry it it dries weird, looks really funny, won't cooperate and bugs the heck out of me! So that one is all for me and no one else! And I'm not huge on ponytails, they tend to give me a headache.)

 

I shower at least every other day, brush my teeth twice daily and usually am dressed by 10am. This is so I can feel human, though. If I don't get this stuff done, I just feel gross and it starts my day off poorly.

 

Every now and again, I'll get dressed up for DH when he gets home. That generally means my usual amount of makeup, hair done, a top I know he likes and jeans/skirt. And to be honest, that is normally for me, too. I get this way if I've stayed home without going out-at all-for five or six days in a row. I end up just wanting to feel attractive, kwim?!


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#71 of 160 Old 01-18-2011, 06:26 AM
 
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My dh works very long hours so generally we are all in bed when he gets home, if not he gets home just as I'm putting the kids to bed so I am either asleep or wearing yoga pants and a nursing tank or something like that. I get dressed first thing in the morning (usually jeans and a nicer tee shirt and a cardigan or sweater) but I change when the kids put their PJs on because I lay down with the younger three. I try to look decent even when I'm sleeping though. :) I try to have the house picked up and something for him to eat when he gets home.

 

If he comes home early enough to see all of us before we go to sleep I am generally dressed (and yes I do wear an apron, I have a few cute ones and most of them have pockets and I have the terrible habit of wiping my hands on my thighs so it keeps me from running around with gross pants all of the time, I find them ) in my usual outfit. If I hear him pulling up and I'm not particularly busy I will go meet him outside to get a kiss before the kids get to him. If I can't do that I try to meet him at the door but sometimes I don't hear him until the door shuts and the kids always beat me to him so I have to wait my turn. lol.gif

 

There have definitely been times that I haven't gotten a shower for days and look just awful and my dh loved me just as much then as he does now but I know he appreciates it when I put effort into my appearance and I feel better when I do, too. I get as excited about seeing him after work now as I did when I was 17. I have less time to sit around primping now winky.gif (five kids, all under 8) but I can always find 2-3 minutes to run back to the bathroom and freshen up real quick if I need to. I get dressed and cleaned up over the course of a couple of hours in the morning. This morning I got up at six, put on yoga pants and a nursing tank first thing, went out and made my coffee and read my email then got in the shower, came out and got breakfast together, then went back and put real clothes on and cleaned up the bathroom, came out and cleaned up breakfast, went back and dried my hair most of the way, came back out and bounced the baby to sleep (and read this thread) then went back and finished up my hair and got the bath started for my 5yo, convinced my 7yo that taking a shower honestly would not kill him and neither would getting in the bath tub in my bathroom (the hall bath's drain won't close) and then got my makeup (very minimal, mascara and lip gloss, I feel weird with any more on) so I wasn't fully dressed and ready for the day until just a few minutes ago and it's almost 9:30. So you don't necessarily have to find an hour of time all at once to get ready in the morning. If that's something you feel is important. I think it's worth trying for a little while, I know for me it makes a huge difference in how I feel and what I get done and I love looking nice for my dh.

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#72 of 160 Old 01-20-2011, 12:26 PM
 
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I don't dress, fix hair, make up or anything for dh, but I do it for myself. I just feel more motivated during the day and better about myself once I'm dressed and good to go. Although I do have days where pj's or yoga pants prevail through noon (I do my best housework that way).  But dh could care less what I look like. I'm sure he likes that I look nice but he certainly wouldn't care if I didn't spend the time "getting ready" During the winter he generally comes home and puts his pj's on and then is pretty darn casual on the weekend. I'm usually the one complaining to him that he never dresses up around me! But then I usually changed into yoga pants when I came home from work too (although I had a uniform on and therefore would be changing anyway).

 

I think what is most important is how we greet eachother. Whether we smile at eachother and say hello or how was your day. I know we are pretty good at this except for when either of us has had a particularly rough day. Or when ds comes home a grump or a nut.....biggrinbounce.gif

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#73 of 160 Old 01-21-2011, 09:52 PM
 
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Have to agree with PP that this is a very interesting read.

How I look when DH comes home definitely depends on how my day has gone. If it's been an easier day I will "dress up" by putting on jeans and a top, otherwise it's sweatpants and a t shirt (full disclosure: usually the sweatpants and shirt I slept in). Ha! So glamorous.
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#74 of 160 Old 01-21-2011, 11:07 PM
 
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Fun reading :)  I'll preface by saying we have been married for 15 years and have 5 children.  And my dh doesn't work daily.  He is gone for 5 days at a time 2-3 times per month, so his "coming home" is me picking him up at the airport.  I try really hard to make sure we are all clean with washed hair, brushed teeth and nice clothes and he is coming home to a clean house.  Sometimes it doesn't all happen and that's life, but it is important to me to make the effort. I like him to come home to a clean, calm, minimal stress environment because I know he works really hard for us while he is gone.  He makes it easy though, because he is really appreciative and notices every little thing.    

 

On a daily basis, I shower and put on clean clothes whether I'm staying home or planning to go out because I can't stand to feel grubby, but I'm often out of my pants or skirt by early afternoon and back in a pair of pajama pants.  I don't wear makeup and I tend to bun my hair because I don't like it in my way.  I'll say that I wish I had some solution for looking / feeling sexier at the end of the day.  Strappy tanks and capri yoga pants with painted toenails used to work for me, but it's COLD here.  And I just can't rock the big wool socks and sweatshirt look. :(  


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#75 of 160 Old 01-22-2011, 07:32 AM
 
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I haven't read all of the other posts yet, but I try to be out of my pajamas by the time DH gets home. He doesn't mind if we're not though because when he's home he stays in his pjs too. Otherwise I wear my Adidas pants and t-shirts. His mother used to go put on perfume and makeup before his Dad came home from work and he always chuckled at that. He doesn't want me to it too. Not to mention, I don't wear makeup more than once or twice a year. We do have routines for when he leaves and comes home. DD gives him his lunch before he goes and he gives all of us kisses and hugs. We tell him to drive carefully and have a good day. Then we stand in the living room window waving and blowing kisses, and he stops the car to wave and blow kisses back. Then when he comes home I always say, "Guess what?!?!" The kids yell, "DADDY'S HOME!!!!" and run to the door. The dog tags along as well and he hugs the kids, pats the dog, and then gives me a kiss and a hug. I do try to have dinner done within the first 30 minutes of him being home since he eats his lunch early in the day, but he's not too fussed about any of it because he knows how difficult it is with the LOs at home all day.


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#76 of 160 Old 01-22-2011, 08:15 AM
 
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This is rather timely because I become a SAHM next Thursday. broc1.gif 

 

Right now we both get home around the same time "dressed up" from work.  We both immediately change into comfy clothes.  ie: yoga pants, tee/sweatshirt and shearling slippers for me. Athletic pants, Patagonia fleece and shearling slippers for him. Kind of our at home uniform.  I fully planned to continue that "uniform" and was looking forward to *not* dressing up every day! Maybe I need to rethink??


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#77 of 160 Old 01-22-2011, 08:44 AM
 
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Most days I get dressed in the mornings - jeans, a presentable top (in decent shape that fits well and is easy to nurse in).  I often wear low v-necks and crossover/wrap tops for nursing ease, which DH really enjoys.  I wear jewelry, but I never wear makeup.  I often wear my hair in a pony tail, but I wash it at least every other day, it's brushed, and I generally wear a really nice clip instead of a rubberband.  When DH gets home, I am wearing my day clothes.  On Thursdays we have no out of the house commitments, and I generally do the floors.  I get up and put on yoga pants and a sports tank top (tight fitting built in bra cross over so easy to nurse in), and a hoody if I'm cold - this is also what I exercise in and generally what I put on in the evenings before bed, but I sleep nude.  Often on Thursdays I spend the day in this.  DH thoroughly enjoys coming home to me in it lol.gif.  It's form fitting, and shows lots of cleavage.  He comments on liking it often shy.gif.  I don't wear it out because it feels a bit too revealing, both of my bust, and of my mama belly I'm really working on finally losing.

 

When he comes home, I may be standing in the kitchen prepping dinner, I may be rocking a sleeping latched on nursling, I may be playing with the kids, etc.  The kids love to run to greet him at the door if we're downstairs, and I get my turn after them.  He loves them running and calling daddy with big hugs and kisses.  If we're upstairs, he's very happy to call up to us, and then run to the bathroom before coming to see us.  We pretty much always kiss and hug when he comes home.  Sometimes it's a quick peck hello, sometimes a real lingering kiss.  Sometimes we spend a few minutes chatting about our day, but generally we split up to do stuff and keep moving.

 

DH generally wears khakis and a polo to work.  He does not change clothes when he comes home until he strips for bed.  On days he's at home, he will pull on his big fluffy robe and wear it until well into the afternoon.  It's become a source of frustration for me not because it looks bad, but because then in order to have him so much as walk into the driveway, he needs to take a few minutes to go upstairs and get dressed first.  To me it communicates, I'm not going anywhere and not ready to be moving for the day yet.  He's slowly shifting to wearing sweat pants instead, which he can at least go in the yard or answer the door in.

 


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#78 of 160 Old 01-22-2011, 09:41 AM
 
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This is rather timely because I become a SAHM next Thursday. broc1.gif 

 

Right now we both get home around the same time "dressed up" from work.  We both immediately change into comfy clothes.  ie: yoga pants, tee/sweatshirt and shearling slippers for me. Athletic pants, Patagonia fleece and shearling slippers for him. Kind of our at home uniform.  I fully planned to continue that "uniform" and was looking forward to *not* dressing up every day! Maybe I need to rethink??



I don't think there is any need to rethink. IMO, if you're comfortable, that's the most important thing. If you find it's not working for you for some reason, look into options then. Congrats on becoming a SAHM! Wishing you lots of happiness with it.
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#79 of 160 Old 01-22-2011, 11:00 AM
 
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O

Quote:
Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom View Post

This is rather timely because I become a SAHM next Thursday. broc1.gif

 

Right now we both get home around the same time "dressed up" from work.  We both immediately change into comfy clothes.  ie: yoga pants, tee/sweatshirt and shearling slippers for me. Athletic pants, Patagonia fleece and shearling slippers for him. Kind of our at home uniform.  I fully planned to continue that "uniform" and was looking forward to *not* dressing up every day! Maybe I need to rethink??





I don't think there is any need to rethink. IMO, if you're comfortable, that's the most important thing. If you find it's not working for you for some reason, look into options then. Congrats on becoming a SAHM! Wishing you lots of happiness with it.



I agree.


Nicole, sewmachine.gif Mama to hearts.gif C (4/07) and whistling.gif Z (2/09).
 

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#80 of 160 Old 01-22-2011, 03:07 PM
 
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I am honestly amazed at the amount of mamas that don't wear makeup. It's totally fine, just surprised. I feel so much more put together and ready to move when I have a little makeup on..powder and blush. Maybe eyeliner if I have an extra few seconds. I have long black eyelashes though, so I rarely wear eye makeup. powder and blush take like 2 minutes, and it makes all the difference for me!


DH(9/04) DS(12/08) and DD(5/11)

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#81 of 160 Old 01-22-2011, 03:23 PM
 
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*


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#82 of 160 Old 01-22-2011, 07:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrunchyMama74 View Post

O

Quote:
Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom View Post

This is rather timely because I become a SAHM next Thursday. broc1.gif

 

Right now we both get home around the same time "dressed up" from work.  We both immediately change into comfy clothes.  ie: yoga pants, tee/sweatshirt and shearling slippers for me. Athletic pants, Patagonia fleece and shearling slippers for him. Kind of our at home uniform.  I fully planned to continue that "uniform" and was looking forward to *not* dressing up every day! Maybe I need to rethink??





I don't think there is any need to rethink. IMO, if you're comfortable, that's the most important thing. If you find it's not working for you for some reason, look into options then. Congrats on becoming a SAHM! Wishing you lots of happiness with it.


thanks! I am still a little bit in denial. yikes.gif


Pardon me while I puke.gif

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#83 of 160 Old 01-22-2011, 11:12 PM
 
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I am honestly amazed at the amount of mamas that don't wear makeup. It's totally fine, just surprised. I feel so much more put together and ready to move when I have a little makeup on..powder and blush. Maybe eyeliner if I have an extra few seconds. I have long black eyelashes though, so I rarely wear eye makeup. powder and blush take like 2 minutes, and it makes all the difference for me!


I have never worn makeup (well, unless you count my goth days). I guess I just don't see the point. It certainly doesn't make me look any better. In fact having anything on my face makes me feel...icky. Like I need to wash.

For me feeling put together is all about having the right socks and shoes on. When I am wearing socks and shoes that correspond to whatever the weather is supposed to be that day I'm ready! Even better if I manage to find the perfect sweater. Yup, socks and sweaters are what I'm all about. Can you tell I'm usually cold?

What does DH think about how I look in socks and sweaters? Well if its all I'm wearing he gets pretty excited...but then I get cold. Hmmm conflict of interests.
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#84 of 160 Old 01-23-2011, 07:56 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post

I have never worn makeup (well, unless you count my goth days). I guess I just don't see the point. It certainly doesn't make me look any better. In fact having anything on my face makes me feel...icky. Like I need to wash.

Same here.  It feels gross.  Plus I just wipe it all off on clothes, my hands, etc. anyway.  I went through a (Queen Amidala-inspired) lipstick phase and my hair would always get on it and then drag a line of red across my cheek.  Wow, that was like 12 years ago now.  Time flies.


Me, DH, and DS (9/18/10), living in a multi-generational household (non-pathetic way of saying we live in my parents' basement).
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#85 of 160 Old 01-23-2011, 09:59 AM
 
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I love the idea of makeup.  It's just not practical for me these days.  Kind of like my wedding rings.  I stopped wearing them when I had my first baby because I would scratch him.


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#86 of 160 Old 01-23-2011, 10:05 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsBone View Post

I am honestly amazed at the amount of mamas that don't wear makeup. It's totally fine, just surprised. I feel so much more put together and ready to move when I have a little makeup on..powder and blush. Maybe eyeliner if I have an extra few seconds. I have long black eyelashes though, so I rarely wear eye makeup. powder and blush take like 2 minutes, and it makes all the difference for me!



I have always had a slight allergy to most make up and the older I get the worse that allergy gets.  I got to the point were it just wasn't worth it for me anymore so I stopped wearing it.

 

 

 

 

 

On the subject of clothing.  If I get something on my clothes (food, baby spit up, poo) I immediately change my clothes even if that means the babies have to chill in the bed for a second while I do so.  I would just feel super grimy if I didn't, and I dont like feeling that way.  My usual outfit at home is the same I wear when I am out comfy pants/skirt and a neutral colored top or t-shirt.  Fashion just has never been my thing so dh knew that about me going into the relationship.  I figure if he was fine with it while we were dating he would have no reason to not be fine with it now. 

 

Some women like to dress up and some of us dont.  I dont think it needs to be more complex than that.shrug.gif


Loved wife to JT and grateful mother to M (dd age 13) L (dd age 10) T (ds age 6) A (ds age 4) E (dd age 2) and C & S (twin boys born 10/13/10)
and yes, I blog. thumb.gif
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#87 of 160 Old 01-24-2011, 06:20 AM
 
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I read a book about a mom who was tired of the way she was living.  She fired her nanny, learned to cook and clean and be a  mom to her kids.  But she stressed how a stay at home mom should look/dress.  She stressed dressing in nice but casual clothes.  She liked capris and a nice shirt.  If anyone knows the book, let me know!  I can't find it.

 

After reading her book, I felt really guilty for the way I kept my house and the way I dressed.  I was ok in sports pants and a t-shirts.  I don't do my hair every day or put make up on.

 

I would like to be that mom who does dress nice everyday, do my hair, have make up on, get my nails done.



Would the book be "Happy Housewives" by Darla Shine?  It sounds like it to me.   I feel proud to be a stay at home mom and I want to look like it.  Everything feels better when I feel like I look good.  I feel like cleaning, I feel like taking the kids out, I'm in a good mood, I feel confident, which means that all my positivity comes through when my husband comes home.  When he comes it's the highlight of my whole day. I'm excited to see him and I want him to know that. And he very much likes and notices my makeup, my hair, my nails, etc.  Besides he's a hottie.  Gotta keep up. ;)

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#88 of 160 Old 01-25-2011, 06:27 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starbuckmom View Post

I read a book about a mom who was tired of the way she was living.  She fired her nanny, learned to cook and clean and be a  mom to her kids.  But she stressed how a stay at home mom should look/dress.  She stressed dressing in nice but casual clothes.  She liked capris and a nice shirt.  If anyone knows the book, let me know!  I can't find it.

 

After reading her book, I felt really guilty for the way I kept my house and the way I dressed.  I was ok in sports pants and a t-shirts.  I don't do my hair every day or put make up on.

 

I would like to be that mom who does dress nice everyday, do my hair, have make up on, get my nails done.



Would the book be "Happy Housewives" by Darla Shine?  It sounds like it to me.   I feel proud to be a stay at home mom and I want to look like it.  Everything feels better when I feel like I look good.  I feel like cleaning, I feel like taking the kids out, I'm in a good mood, I feel confident, which means that all my positivity comes through when my husband comes home.  When he comes it's the highlight of my whole day. I'm excited to see him and I want him to know that. And he very much likes and notices my makeup, my hair, my nails, etc.  Besides he's a hottie.  Gotta keep up. ;)


Yes it was that book!  Thanks!


Lynn, wife to Jason  SAHM to Nate, Riley and Jon
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#89 of 160 Old 01-25-2011, 07:25 AM
 
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Maybe I shouldn't post here, since I work outside the home, but I just wanted to throw in the other side of the issue.  My husband works from home, often in the soccer shorts and tees he plays soccer in most mornings.  I've never once wished he looked more presentable when I get home from work.  I love him!  He greets me by standing up from his desk, coming to me and giving me a hug.  I appreciate it.  ;) 
 

ETA: We're seriously considering him doing some of the SAH childcare if I go back to work after we have our first child this spring, and I'm sure I'll be fine if he stays in the soccer togs for that, too.


First child born March 2011.  Constantly in awe!
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#90 of 160 Old 01-25-2011, 07:28 AM
 
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