Honestly, SSM, I put the quotes around "know" because I don't have a grasp on what YOU mean by it. However you personally define it, then yes, I am quite sure that you have that dynamic with your child. But the particular dynamics that work so well for MY family - a SAH homeschooling mom and a WAHD - are clearly not what's going down in your family, because WOH is making you guys happy, and for us it was an epic fail for both parents and children.
One lifestyle is not better than other, but they are very, very different. When a person isn't financially/socially/personally empowered to parent the way they want to, I think it has the potential to hurt them and to hurt their kids. And I'm not talking hypothetical "if we got divorced someday" hurt. I'm talking actual suffering in the here-and-now.