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#1 of 24 Old 02-09-2011, 07:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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SAHM/P SAHW/dh or homemaker?

 

I was thinking about this last night because my house is dirty and I finally folded the clothes and put 1/2 away. I think when I think about my job I only see myself as a stay at home mom and do that the best I can, but now that I'm thinking about it shouldn't I also be a stay at home wife?

 

I mean if I thought about it in those terms maybe I'd do a better job with priorities (like clean over read a book)

 

I am very pregnant so I know that's currently a factor, but after the baby comes I wonder if I should change.

 

How do you consider yourself? How do you balance?


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#2 of 24 Old 02-09-2011, 08:13 AM
 
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I consider my kids my #1 priority.  I want to keep them well fed, and entertained with enriching activities almost every day.  #2 priority is keeping the house clean and housework complete.  I do try and keep everything put together and deep clean at least once per week, but that often slides.

 

DH agrees with the above.

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#3 of 24 Old 02-10-2011, 05:03 AM
 
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Homemaker.  I only have one kid, but I feel strongly that part of my end of the deal is cooking/cleaning/etc.  It does suck sometimes, but when my house is dirty/messy I feel much more stressed and disprupted. 

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#4 of 24 Old 02-10-2011, 05:15 AM
 
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Homemaker.

 

SAHM/caring for my kids is rolled into that umbrella of "maker of the home", and for me, making the home a clean, comfortable, beautiful place to be is part and parcel with caring for my kids.  I'm not obsessive, and it's not spotless, but it is clean and reasonably tidy.

 

Also part of caring for and raising my children, to me, is teaching them life skills and self care, which falls in place very well with the housekeeping part of life here.

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#5 of 24 Old 02-10-2011, 06:24 AM
 
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Homemaker

 

I make our home cozy, hang up homemade art work, cook meals, and even though it's messy it's a lived in happy mess. I think taking care of babes and animals is rolled up into that in one big super role. 


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#6 of 24 Old 02-12-2011, 07:07 AM
 
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Homemaker.  A homesteading homemaker.  Although I personally don't do a ton of cleaning, that's because I have 4 kids and they pitch in and do their part.  That's part of my job description, though--teaching our children to care for themselves and their belongings.  Our oldest cleans the house weekly for part of her rent.  In addition to taking care of the children and our home and the finances, I am also responsible for making sure our livestock is cared for, the garden is cared for, and all that goes along with that.  I feel when my husband comes home I should at least have a clear plan about supper, or be in the midst of making it.  I feel it's my job to make sure he comes home to a happy place.  I want my family to WANT to be here. 


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#7 of 24 Old 02-15-2011, 09:12 AM
 
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I suppose "homemaker".  Both kids are in school all day and DH sleeps during those hours (he works the graveyard shift) so I spend that time cleaning, decorating, organizing, cooking, baking, etc.  I guess my main focus (during the day) is definitely 'feathering our nest' to make a comfortable, inviting, calm and happy environment for my family.


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#8 of 24 Old 02-16-2011, 10:58 PM
 
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I always say I am a SAHM, but i make sure the house is clean at least 4/5 days when DH comes home (weekends are joint tidying) and clean bathrooms and vacuum at least once a week (ds makes amess) DH loves a clean house, he does not usually say anything if it is not clean, but it puts him in a happier mood and makes us both feel less stressed.

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#9 of 24 Old 02-19-2011, 05:59 PM
 
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I'm more on the SAHD side, and while I'm also a homemaker, it's not my first priority.  The kids are definitely the overriding priority, and given their ages (not quite 3 years old, and 9 months old) I barely have enough time to do anything else in the daytime.  But I always cook the meals, and almost always am the laundry guy, and I do about 2/3 of the cleaning.  So the homemaker part is definitely in there... but not something I'm able to do completely with such small demanding kids.


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#10 of 24 Old 02-19-2011, 06:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom View Post

Homemaker.

 

SAHM/caring for my kids is rolled into that umbrella of "maker of the home", and for me, making the home a clean, comfortable, beautiful place to be is part and parcel with caring for my kids.  I'm not obsessive, and it's not spotless, but it is clean and reasonably tidy.

 

Also part of caring for and raising my children, to me, is teaching them life skills and self care, which falls in place very well with the housekeeping part of life here.


Yep, she said it just right. I'm a homemaker, too.

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#11 of 24 Old 02-19-2011, 06:22 PM
 
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Right now more just SAHM. DS still takes a lot of attention. But, I'm also homemaker. I try to make our home a comfortable and nice place to relax and live.

E, wife to D, mommy to G (born March 2010). joy.gif

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#12 of 24 Old 02-19-2011, 11:11 PM
 
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Homemaker

 

I am what makes our house a home.  Otherwise it would just be a roof over our head.   Homes to me are living, breathing, ever changing. organic things that need to be made.  It's messy, loud, fun, and joyful.  Making a home to me is less about cooking and cleaning although I do that too.  I do the cooking, baking, cleaning, animal care, canning, preserving, homeschooling, yard work, sewing, crafts........phew!    I have a great DH who helps out too.  He is a great cook and becoming quite the handy impromptu carpenter but works full time so most is up to me. 

 

OP:  sit, relax, enjoy your newborn and read The Radical Homemaker by Shannon Hayes.  It's a great read.

 

And consequently:  as I type this I'm looking at my futon at a pile of once folded laundry that got bounced upon by kidlets before I had a chance to put it away.  I like clean and tidy but obviously I allow for slip-ups along the way. 


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#13 of 24 Old 02-20-2011, 03:11 AM
 
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SAHM. Of course I also do some homemaking but, DH and  I share those tasks in the same way we did before we had children. 


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#14 of 24 Old 02-22-2011, 01:43 PM
 
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more of a homemaker than SAHM since my kids are both in school.  DH brings home the bacon and I cook it! orngbiggrin.gif  I take pride in my house, and I love cooking and baking and gardening.  I don't mind mess, though, since I get tired too and my house doesn't need to look like it's going to be photographed for Better Home and Gardens or Good Housekeeping.  People live here.  I make that comfortable and enjoyable for them.


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#15 of 24 Old 02-26-2011, 06:26 PM
 
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It seems like children are first priority, but  consider my job to do 2/3 of the housework. I like to cook. i cook all the meals for the most part. DH does the dishes when he can.  i do the laundry ect. it tends to spiral into a mess with three little ones. i think raising children is ahuge job and all we can do is the best we can. 

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#16 of 24 Old 02-28-2011, 08:34 PM
 
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I'm a homemaker. SAHM is kind of a misnomer, as I am not always physically "at home".

The kids are my priority, and the house looks like 3 kids live there! No escaping that fact until they are old enough to leave home, I suppose. I hire someone to clean the house twice per month. I tried washing the floors when the kids where home, and they slipped and fell constantly eyesroll.gif

Our crazy captialist economy... If I did all the things I do now for someone else, it would "contribute" to the GDP. But because I am feathering our own nest, the economy sees this as an invisible input. Raising decent healthy kids is hard work, and society pays when kids are not brought up in healthy and stimulating environments... but I guess this rant is for another thread...

Sign hanging in Albert Einstein's office at Princeton: Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted, counts.
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#17 of 24 Old 03-04-2011, 12:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom View Post

Homemaker.

 

SAHM/caring for my kids is rolled into that umbrella of "maker of the home", and for me, making the home a clean, comfortable, beautiful place to be is part and parcel with caring for my kids.  I'm not obsessive, and it's not spotless, but it is clean and reasonably tidy.

 

Also part of caring for and raising my children, to me, is teaching them life skills and self care, which falls in place very well with the housekeeping part of life here.

This is how I feel too.  I only have one child to care for right now (another one coming soon!) so that's not so all-consuming. Since I have more flexibility and time at home than my husband, I take care of household things. I'm not a crafty/gardeny/handy person, so there's not a lot of that going on, but basic house stuff falls under my responsibilities most of the time.
 

 


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#18 of 24 Old 03-30-2011, 12:14 PM
 
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Personally I don't think there is anything wrong with reading a book over cleaning. I used to have a lot of stress over that kind of thing, not anymore. We as moms have a lot of responsibilities that most people (especially those who don't value the role of a mom) realize. Sometimes just having a smile on your face at the end of the day is a big accomplishment. And honestly, if my choices are 1. to have a clean house but a crappy attitude or 2. a smile and a pile of dishes + laundry, I pick #2. I think it's better for my kids to see momma with a good attitude then a clean counter you know?

I am reading a book called the Power of a Positive Mom that went through all the responsibilities of a mother, the corresponding job title and pay. Over the course of a year a mom does the work of $400,000 worth of employement (I know that's not worded properly but I am soo about to make a pot of coffee and don't care to change it :) )

It is our society that says we have to have some kind of physical proof of our worth and value, but I think there is an absolutely priceless value of a mom who stays home to raise her kids.

 

Also, I have been going through our family's pictures this week, putting them into albums and one of the things I noticed that really shocked me, is that, even when I thought the house was a wreck, it didn't look bad in the pictures, at all! I think as moms we get overwhelmed doing the same things over and over again that we are just overwhelmed by it, and see the messes as more significant than they really are. A counter covered in last night's scraps, plates with crusty food on them, etc etc is horrendously gross and another 15 minutes of work for us moms, but to someone else it's really common, and not that horrible. If you take a pic and look back over the pic in a year, you will probably remember the stress it caused you and regret you had worried so much about it.

 

 

Yikes, I hope this is saying what I mean to say. My brain is not focusing right now.

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#19 of 24 Old 03-30-2011, 01:16 PM
 
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I call myself a domestic engineer and human development manager.  I cook, clean, do repairs, organize and decorate as well as raise the kids.  I don't think there's every been a time that I've had a messy house, since I "clean as I go" (and taught the kids to do the same) so I just do a bit of straightening up before I go to bed.


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#20 of 24 Old 04-04-2011, 04:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom View Post

Homemaker.

 

SAHM/caring for my kids is rolled into that umbrella of "maker of the home", and for me, making the home a clean, comfortable, beautiful place to be is part and parcel with caring for my kids.  I'm not obsessive, and it's not spotless, but it is clean and reasonably tidy.

 

Also part of caring for and raising my children, to me, is teaching them life skills and self care, which falls in place very well with the housekeeping part of life here.


Wow, such a good description and exactly how I feel. I have trouble sometimes finding balance between caring for the baby and keeping the home clean. I don't want to be obsessive about the house and the cleanliness, but if I let it go too much it stresses the entire family out and makes a dangerous place for a  crawling baby.

 


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#21 of 24 Old 04-04-2011, 04:47 PM
 
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SAHM. Right now, ds2 is taking almost all my time and energy, and when the other kids are thrown into the mix, I don't have a lot left for the house. DH is also far more efficient at several tasks than I am. I do most of the weekday meal prep, and all the shopping, and keep a certain level of clean up during the week, but the house definitely isn't my focus.


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#22 of 24 Old 04-04-2011, 06:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FelixMom View Post

Our crazy captialist economy... If I did all the things I do now for someone else, it would "contribute" to the GDP. But because I am feathering our own nest, the economy sees this as an invisible input. Raising decent healthy kids is hard work, and society pays when kids are not brought up in healthy and stimulating environments... but I guess this rant is for another thread...


Sigh. In the US, you get a tax deduction (albeit paltry) if you pay for childcare so that both parents can work outside the home. Hmm. What about those of us who forego a second income to care for our OWN children? Sorry, no tax break for you.

Oh, but yes, for another thread...

:)

 

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#23 of 24 Old 04-04-2011, 07:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dakotablue View Post

SAHM/P SAHW/dh or homemaker?

 

 

Hmmm..."Domestic Goddess"?  "CEO of the Home?"  LOL.  As a PP said, I am the person who has the primary impact on the "hominess" of our home.  From caring for kids to cleaning the house.  From managing the budget to managing much of the livestock.  (Hubby is primary caretaker of horses and cattle.)  If I'm happy, pretty much everyone else is.  If I'm unhappy, pretty much everyone else is.  That cannot be said to the same degree for any other member of our family.  As far as where my focus is - obviously, humans are more important than anything else.  As a homeschooler my kids are with me all of the time and they take priority.  However, the house needs tending too (as do the gardens and the critters) so I find it best not to label myself as *either* SAHM OR homemaker.  LOL...in the reality show Texas Ranch House I had to laugh at the label "Girl of All Work."  Perhaps I'm the "Queen of All I Survey."  LOL.  I'm not "just" anything - mom, homemaker, homesteader, wife, lover...  I am blessed to wear many hats - or one big hat?  Anyhow, I know that when I view myself as one thing (Mom, for instance) and then demands creep in from one of my other responsibilities (homemaking) I can get resentful - so I find it best to develop a "label" that suits me and my life.  I kind of like Queen.  "Her Majesty" has a nice ring to it.  smile.gif  However, I think "Blessed" sums it up best - it's not much of a title, but it's a very accurate description! 


Mrs. S - Crunchy child of The King, Wife to my best friend, and Mama to my many blessings.

 
 
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#24 of 24 Old 04-07-2011, 08:27 AM
 
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I consider myself a homemaker. I am disabled so I can't work. My SO is in college again so he is a stay at home dad too for the most part.
He is amazing, he's more of the homemaker than I am ATM b/c of my health. We have an equal & loving partnership through it all.
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