Let's Have Another Frump-Fighting Thread! - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-11-2011, 08:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So if I used the search feature correctly, it looks like there hasn't been a discussion about this for awhile.  (And if I didn't use it correctly, give my bum a kick over to the right thread! redface.gif)

This is going to sound really shallow, but oh well.  This morning, I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw.  In fact, I hated it.  gloomy.gif  I saw some past pictures of myself and actually used to look decent (didn't realize it at the time of course eyesroll.gif

 

Despite repeated efforts, haven't been able to loose an OUNCE of this @#$^%$^%$ baby weight, and I weigh more than I ever have in my non-pregnant life. 

 

Every article of clothing I own ends up with stains containing juice, breast milk, kids' lunch, or human DNA in one form or another.  eyesroll.gif 

 

I have seriously FORGOTTEN how to apply make-up, although that might be a good first start to lift my spirits...

 

Frump seems to be as much of an attitude as it is a look.  The question is.......how to fight it?  Does it all go back to the platitudes about taking time (what time, pray tell????) to yourself as a SAHM?

 

There was a thread about this some years back, but let's hold the discussion again.  How do you fight frump? 

 

 


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Old 07-12-2011, 09:25 AM
 
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i try to put at least a little time into each part of my getting ready routine. a little time to shower, a little time to get dressed, a little time to get made up and to do something with my hair, a little time for it all. i live in hopes that the results are decent! LOL


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Old 07-12-2011, 11:56 AM
 
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Man...

I generally try to look ready for the day about 10 minutes before DH get's home - unless we have errands to run, and when we do DS looks fresh and I look like death (I always forget about my apearance - I just hide behind sunglasses and DH's baggy button up shirts). 

I need routine.. desperately.


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Old 07-12-2011, 09:23 PM
 
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Yes! Most important for me has to be getting out of the PJs. I try to get up, put on clothes and little makeup and sometimes earrings. I try to go out every day except when I babysit, but then I get dressed up for my little babysitee too. A few weeks ago I got a cute haircut and that has helped me feel a lot better too. Previously my postpartum hormones were making my hair fall out and I just wore it in a bun all the time. 


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Old 07-13-2011, 09:14 AM
 
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yeah, as a recent WOHM turned SAHM this is hard! On the one hand I am enjoying the freedom to not have to worry about looking nice for work, on the other hand I don't want to be "that mom" who shows up in public in her holey pajama pants, bunny slippers and knotted messy hair. (though believe me it has happened more than once!)

 

However, I try to at least shower, get dressed and brush my hair and teeth. Even just brushing my hair and teeth make me feel a lot better. My clothes are always stained with something these days but I try to start the day at least in clean clothes.

 

Another thing I do is I run. 5 days a week I get up at 5:00am and run too keep in shape and have time for myself. It is hard and doesn't always happen but what a difference it makes in my day to do something for myself and be active!


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Old 07-13-2011, 10:11 AM
 
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The one thing that helped me is realizing that *I* and my kids and husband are worth looking nice for, even if I don't see anyone else.  This doesn't mean that I wear heels and pearls at home or anything. :lol.  It just means that I put on more presentable clothes...nice, well-fitted jeans, capris, shorts or comfortable skirts or skorts, and nice, well-fitting shirts, hair brushed, etc even if we aren't planning on going anyplace. I don't wear what I wear to bed (baggy t-shirts, athletic shorts, etc.) around the house.   That way also, when do go someplace I'm already presentable, which makes it a lot easier to get out hte door.


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Old 07-13-2011, 10:14 AM
 
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For me, the key is having a routine.  I get up when my DH does for work and shower, get dressed, and put on makeup.  Nothing takes a ton of time (quick shower, air dry my curly hair, makeup takes 1-2 minutes tops) but feel so much better.  Knowing that I am presentable to leave the house or answer the door throughout the day is a huge boost.  I also find that I'm more productive overall when I get ready for my day.

 

Maybe figure out a couple of things (a new dress that fits your current figure properly, a super fast makeup routine, a flattering wash and wear haircut etc...) that would make it easier to look and feel good and start small.


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Old 07-13-2011, 12:19 PM
 
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Just a couple days ago I had a panic attack because I realized that I have a wedding to go to in 2 weeks and no clothes suitable for it. I did find a pair of nice pants I forgot about because they were too small but now, thanks to LOTS of stress, they fit. Then my wonderful FIL gave me some money to buy a top. We are beyond broke so there was no way I was going to be able to buy anything myself. I am still a little worried about make up since I no longer remember how to apply it, which is very sad since it used to be my job to teach other people how to do their make up. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

 

Even just getting to shower, wash my face, shave my legs, put lotion on, and blowdry my hair all together rather than just having to pick 1 at a time would make a big difference for me. I did all of these yesterday and I feel amazing. It is sad really. I bought a bottle of hair dye 2 months ago but it is still just sitting there. I'll do it someday I guess. Then there is my pathetic clothes, most are too big and stretched out from being old or the baby pulling on my shirts. I keep telling myself someday I'll have the time and the money to shop for myself again.

 

Exercise is 1 thing I really want to figure out how to make time for. I think it would help in many ways. Plus I keep watching my mom and all her weight related health problems and it is terrifying.


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Old 07-13-2011, 12:31 PM
 
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1. Mascara, bronzer and lip gloss

2. I always have my nails done and a pedicure.

3. I wear only girly clothing---lots of dresses. They are not expensive and make me feel pretty.

4. Take a nice long walk on the beach.

 

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Old 07-14-2011, 06:51 PM
 
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I've never been much of a make-up person & have long struggled with caring enough about my appearance. Over a year ago I made the decision to stop wearing pants ('cause I dislike them, they never seem to fit me nicely & I just find them uncomfortable & generally unflattering on me). That made all the difference because now I generally get dressed everyday. Now when I don't get dressed in the morning I feel slobby & unmotivated. Getting dressed definitely helps how I feel. Often I don't actually get to shower until later in the day but that's ok.

 

At our new house we are boarding horses & the owners stop by at least once a day but often other times & my mil lives right beside us (about 200') away so that helps a lot 'cause I hate for people to see me without a bra & in my pj's.


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Old 07-14-2011, 07:21 PM
 
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Hi lifeguard, I thought I was the only one that doesn't like pants. It's so freeing for me to just wear skirts and dresses. I have jeans that I wear to the barn. Otherwise, I'm free in skirts. I'm totally needing this thread right now. I'm going to dye my hair TOMORROW. And paint my toes. thumb.gif
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I've never been much of a make-up person & have long struggled with caring enough about my appearance. Over a year ago I made the decision to stop wearing pants ('cause I dislike them, they never seem to fit me nicely & I just find them uncomfortable & generally unflattering on me).


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Old 07-15-2011, 07:45 AM
 
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Ladies- mineral makeup is seriously the fastest and eaiest thing in the world.  Just swoosh it on with a brush and you are done. I haven't timed it- but maybe a minute to do foundation, then eyeliner and mascara?  The best part is you probably know someone who can choose your color (like melalueca or mary kay or something).  And you won't look cakey.

 

To fight the frump I try to get showered and dresses every morning.  I have  a pixie cut that takes a bit of gel and then done, the previously mentioned makeup routine, alway dangly earrings, and great jeans.  Another thing that has helped is actually wearing cute jammies- if they are obviously inappropriate for answering the door- I am much more likely to get out of them early.


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Old 07-15-2011, 08:18 PM
 
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  I have  a pixie cut that takes a bit of gel and then done,


So jealous! I used to have a pixie and I loved it. Someday when I can get away from my baby for more than 5 minutes and can afford hair cuts more than once a year, I'll do it again.

 

I actually put on makeup today. That is huge for me. It wasn't anything major, but a good step. I also dug out my earrings and have been wearing those. However, it wasn't so encourageing when DS1 saw them across the room and rather disgustedly said "Mom what the heck is on your ear?" lol


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Old 07-15-2011, 10:10 PM
 
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I do wear "houseclothes" around my house, because I've found my children are pretty hard on my clothes and I don't want to ruin the few nice outfits I have.  That said, I like to have nice/cute houseclothes so I look like I'm relaxing and not just a frumpy slob. 

 

I don't wear makeup very often, even on a special occasion I only manage some mascara and maybe lipstick/lipgloss.

 

Thankfully my hair is pretty wash and go.  When it's being unruly I use my trusty hairstraightener.  Typically I can just wash it, put some curling gel in it, and let it air dry.  I have started splurging on a slightly more expensive shampoo and conditioner and that helps immensely.

 

I get rid of any clothes that are starting to show their age, stained, holey, etc.  I really need to get to a thrift store and try to pick up a few more things.  It seems that there is NEVER any free time to do any shopping lately. 

 

Big things for me-doing a facial mask a couple times a week, using my face scrub (I have lots of blackheads if I don't), using regular moisturizer, shaving regularly, and painting my toenails. 

 

Of course I still have those periods where I can't get a shower for almost a week. 

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Old 07-16-2011, 03:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OP here, and for the first time in three years....I went shopping.  For me.  First-hand clothes.  At the (gasp!) mall!  Take that, Frump.  moon.gif


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Old 07-17-2011, 03:25 PM
 
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Quote:

yeah, as a recent WOHM turned SAHM this is hard! On the one hand I am enjoying the freedom to not have to worry about looking nice for work, on the other hand I don't want to be "that mom" who shows up in public in her holey pajama pants, bunny slippers and knotted messy hair. (though believe me it has happened more than once!)

 

I'm also a recent WOHM-turned-SAHM and one thing I conciously did to try to avoid sliding into frump was to keep wearing my work clothes. Now, this may not be doable for everyone but since I always wore business-casual, they work just as well for home-nice!!

 

Also it's always been imperative to me to have a shower first thing in the morning. So I do that while DH is still home which also ensures I'm dressed by the time my babysitting kid arrives. I sometimes have to dry my hair while the kids are eating breakfast, and I've never really worn makeup but at least I feel like I'm holding my own! 


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Old 07-17-2011, 04:11 PM
 
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I think I need to join this thread. I've always be a fan of the frump and don't really care about what other people think. I used to be a waitress and bartender and would only get dressed up to go to work. I worked nights and would always dress to impress and slather on the makeup not to feel good but to get tips However when I got off work I would usually toss on a hoodie and jeans in the bathroom at work and look like that until I got home. On days I didn't work I would just wear jeans and tanktops or a hoodie and not bother with make up.

When pregnant with my first I quit my job and went back to school after she was born. I realized at school I dont get tips so I didn't bother looking good and would often just wear sweats so that I wouldnt have to change to go to the gym between classes. Then I got a job where I had to wear a uniform so yeah, no dressing up for me there.

Now I work at home until this September and spend most of my day in sweats unless it is hot then I toss on an Enwrapture Vintage. I have had dreadlocks for the majority of my life but cut them off every few years and let my hair grow out. I cut them off last fall and have pretty much just kept a hankerchief on my head at most times. Both of my kids have beautiful red hair but my hair ranges from mousey brown to dirty brown, so I'm going to try using henna in it to look a bit more relaited to my own children.

This fall I am moving to a new town to go to nursing school and become a RN. I want to try and fight the frump so that I'll fit in and not have people think of me as the crunchy hippie girl which I am afraid people would hold against me considering I'm going into a not to crunchy career. So to do this I'm going to color my hair and start wearing makeup again.


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Old 07-17-2011, 05:02 PM
 
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I also find it takes me one minutes to throw on some liquid eyeliner - and it makes me feel more "made-up" than just mascara.

Hand lotion always makes me feel great too, especially a great smelling one.  I just keep it by the sink.

And I also find that leggings with a cute top are still comfy, but don't look like pajamas.  Even if I did sleep in them the night before!

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Old 07-18-2011, 06:25 AM
 
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 Have never allowed myself to get frumpy. I haven't always been skinny either, that took a lot of work and a whole new eating habit. I used to workout everyday, with a treadmill, and Taebo. I don't own sweatpants, and I shower every single day. I have nice outfits that I wear and when I do go out I put make up on. I also have outfits that are crappy like holey shorts or jeans that i wear during yardwork, and cleaning the house. Otherwise I do my best to look nice everyday.

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Old 07-18-2011, 04:56 PM
 
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I'm reading this with my hair tossed up and held there with a pen I yanked off the top of my desk when the heat became too much for me. I'm wearing yoga/capri pants at least two sizes too big (they actually fall off if I'm not careful) and a ribbed stretched out tank top that my kids have been stretching out all day long. 

 

Makeup?  Somewhere in the bathroom I have some, but putting it on takes energy I can't find.

 

If I have to run out to the store, that requires actually putting on other clothes- and finding a bra. 

 

Oh, and I did splurge on a haircut in February, but I haven't touched it since then. There are several inches of roots- many of them grey. 

 

I. Define. Frump.

 

Maybe I can start with on thing a day- like showering and dressing first thing. :P

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Old 07-18-2011, 05:34 PM
 
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I still haven't changed out of my PJs today.. or brushed my hair.. Bolt.gifI need a hair cut desperately since I haven't had it cut in over 2 years. I wear only dresses/skirts (pants are uncomfortable to me as well and honestly I hate being stared at and unfortunately pants=men staring) but the ones i wear most have seen better days. Also they are WAY to big since I either made them or bought them when I was pregnant. Another problem I have is I lack the motivation to look nice, most days only my kids see me so why bother? I guess I could get looking nice on the off chance DH gets to call.

 

As for make up- mineral makeup and some cosmetic brushes. When I do it I use powder (no liquid foundation, it makes me feel dirty for some reason), eye shadow, mascuara and blush.. one of these days Ill buy some lipstick as well. It takes me less than 5 minutes. I do have a lot of experience with makeup though since I spent a good potion of my childhood/teen years in dance. Nothing like having 5 minutes to totally change costumes and redo your make up to get you quick with it! Brushes are the key though, those little wand things that come with the makeup take forever and don't look nearly as good.

 

Hair, if you have long hair a French braid always looks nice and is really quick to do. Its what I do when I manage to motivate myself to do it. Another thing you can do is put it in a pony tail and braid the ponytail. If you really want to be "put together" take that braid and pin it up and it looks great. Also, try to make sure if you have long hair to braid it before bed so it doesn't knot. That way if you run out of time in the morning at least it doesn't look like a giant knot (yea Ive gone out like that redface.gif). My hair is to long now but I use to do a french braid down each side then loop them together in the back. Any of these hair styles take between 1-5 minutes to do and they stay well. My hair is fine, thick and down to my waist and it stays up for the most part of the day. For shorter (like upper back or shoulder length) hair keep the big clips laying around and you can do a french twist in under a minute and clip it up. Again easy and quick.

 

If anything try to work out if even for 10 minutes a day. I know its hard! I have three (4, 2 and 5 months) and a husband whos overseas so I have to wake up extremely early. BUT it really does give you a boost throughout the day.

Have to go wangle my middle one into bed, she has decided it would be a good day to pull an all nighter and Im tired.

 


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Old 07-18-2011, 06:08 PM
 
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I've been feeling frumpy lately too so I've been trying to combat it and it really makes a difference. I wake up 30 min before everyone else. wash my face and moisturize,use a neti pot(tmi i know but it does REALLY help wake me up) and brush my teeth and hair. And then I throw on the kettle,boil eggs or start whatever family breakfast is going on and while thats starting I stretch. I usually dont get dressed until the kids are up and moving since I do try and remain quiet LOL

 

At night after theyre asleep I have a bath or shower,wash my face,exfoliate,shave. When I get out I use oil instead of moisturizer on my body..it feels like a 3 min spa treatment and really helps w how dry my skin is. Then if I'm feeling energetic I'll straighten my hair while watching tv. I get motivated at the thought that when I wake up my hair will look decent if I do


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Old 07-20-2011, 02:41 PM
 
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Just wanted to share for those with longer hair this blog has a ton of hair styles for those with long hair.


~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
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Old 07-20-2011, 07:41 PM
 
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okimom - gosh I wish french braiding my own hair was easy as you profess! I have thick & very curly hair so even after brushing it's knotted - I LOVE french braids but find them exhausting to put in my own hair.


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Old 07-20-2011, 09:15 PM
 
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Today I blow dryed my hair and wore it down, painted my toes, and put on blush and lipstick. DD's two friends told me, "You look pretty." It really touched me. heartbeat.gif

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Old 07-20-2011, 10:46 PM
 
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Just put on a clean shirt, straightened my hair, and put on a face mask.  My toenails are painted too!  My husband is coming home soon, and we MIGHT go to the store, but even if not I was in the mood to look pretty. 

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Old 07-21-2011, 10:12 AM
 
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okimom - gosh I wish french braiding my own hair was easy as you profess! I have thick & very curly hair so even after brushing it's knotted - I LOVE french braids but find them exhausting to put in my own hair.



I have a similar problem with mine, it is very thick and very curly some days- other days it's very wavy.  My go-to lately has been a low ponytail just to keep it out of my face and off my neck.  :/

 

When it was not so thick I was able to do a french braid in a flash, but these days- not a chance.  I do have good luck with a very low bun though- just coiling it over itself. I should either cut it or commit to growing it longer, but I can't decide which. 

 

At any rate, I am off to try to get dressed for the day- jeans and a clean tshirt, and maybe some makeup!  I'm hiding from the kids while I do it, too. 

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Old 07-21-2011, 02:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OK, girls.  It's so lame that I'm bragging..... I think I actually turned a head today.... orngtongue.gif  Thanks for inspiring me to keep up this regimen!  You ladies rock!  bow.gif


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Old 07-21-2011, 03:08 PM
 
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I have really thick hair but its not curly.. Its really fine though and knots pretty badly if I don't keep it braided (one of the reasons its always braided, last time I didn't have it braided it took almost an hour to brush it out). Have you tried using a detangler while you brush? I usually have to, especially if I don't think and wash it before I brush it out.

 

As for it taking a while, Ive been braiding my own hair since I was 6-7, by 12 I wore it almost always in a braid and did my hair myself so Im really practiced in it. For some one thats not practice Id suggest the pony tail then braiding it in a simple braid. My SIL has curly hair and thats how she does it as well when she wants it braided for school.


~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
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Old 07-21-2011, 08:19 PM
 
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See my hair can ONLY be brushed when it is wet (which means to braid it I have to have just showered). I always use a little conditioner or detangler or even hand creme if I have nothing else to help get through it but because it tangles so quickly you have to constantly untangle it again as you are braiding - very frustrating for a french braid - not so bad for a ponytail braid.


Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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