Hubby works (mid-30s), I (late 20's) SAH with DS and am due with #2 in late April. It's only possible for me to SAH because my hubby is really good at his highly specialized job skill, so his job was/is very secure. That said, he still felt great hesitation with his new role as SOLE provider. Now, he's fine with it and really likes that I'm home with our son. We live quite comfortably, bought our version of dream house a couple months ago, have renovated the kitchen cash, and buy the items we need/want, dine out whenever/wherever we want, pay bills early, have memberships to museums, martial arts classes, etc, are able to give to charities that are meaningful to us, are able to afford preschool, babysitters, etc. **Just to give the full picture though - my hubby's not the biggest 'planner' so we should be doing a lot *more* - setting aside more in our Roth IRAs, saving for replacing our HVAC systems, etc. So even being 'comfortable' is not necessarily our goal!
For us, it's possible because:
1) We denied ourselves a lot of things early in our marriage that other people our age were splurging on because they thought it was essential. Things like big weddings, new cars, exotic vacations, etc. As a result, we have almost no debt (student loans and cars were paid off very quickly).
2) We have never been 'keep-up-with-the-Jones' people. We have 2 small sedans, most of our furniture is craigslist, 70% of my wardrobe is thrifted, and so on - although, you'd never know.
3) Generally, we're bargain shoppers. We eat very well, eating hormone-free meats, shopping farmers markets & WFs, and pick berries at local farms, but for any items NOT on the 'dirty dozen' list, we shop Aldi or Costco. We don't drive more than we need to. My hubby buys almost all of his MANY books used on Amazon.
4) We're a team in everything - we have all our money together and are big 'partners'. In that, we don't spend splurge in secret, or live on credit, etc. And we usually don't spend more than about $50 without discussing whether it's really necessary.
However, if you're asking for ADVICE on HOW to switch to SAH:
1) First, be sure you'd really be *happy* being at home all the time, and that it's not some role you'll end up resenting.
2) I'd highly recommend a 'trial run' before the official change (like another mom above suggested). Especially looking up SuzeOrman's Budget calculator! We're not 'budget' people, but it was very helpful to draw up 2 different budgets of before/after to see it all on paper first. It's VERY comprehensive, even little things like newspaper subscriptions, car insurance, clothes/glasses, medications, etc.
3) Having an emergency fund 3months longer than how long it would take your hubby to find another job, and to work together as a team in everything.
4) If it's important to you to re-enter the workforce someday plan ahead by getting reference letters now, being sure to budget in any required continuing ed courses for licenses, etc.
Best wishes