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Old 12-17-2011, 12:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Let me start by saying i love my husband, with all my heart.
but sometimes i think about killing him ( not actually haha i scared you )
NO he is a great man but really sometime i feel like maybe i made the wrong choice, you see i gave up everything because i wanted to be a mom,
i dont know why i just did.. so i think i grabbed the first boy friend
i could to be a father.My friends my job anything and everything i used to be.
so i could be just a wife and a mom... but now i feel torn, i feel like my husband is
not thank full that i sacrificed everything for our family. He works late
goes out and 8 out of 10 times he is home he is a jerk. he makes little
jokes how i dont look like i did or how he says "fat", and never takes
anything i say seriously. he is a good guy when he is nice though
every once in awhile he becomes the guy i feel in love with again
and even if its just for a minute it still manages to make me forget everything.
But then theres days like today he once again makes me feel like crap..
apart of me wants to leave him but i never wanted my son to not have a father.
Am i over reacting? should i leave him? or is it smart to just forget the whole thing
but a smile on my face and hold our family together.mecry.gif
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Old 12-17-2011, 08:22 AM
 
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That is such a hard place to be, relationships are a big challenge.  As the child of parents who stayed together for the kids, then got divorced when we left home, I would say you should leave him.  It doesn't do anyone good staying with someone you don't want to be with, especially if he is disrespectful of you.  You don't want your son seeing this behavior, and you shouldn't have to live with it either.Your son could still have a father, even if you separate.  Your DH could still be involved, or you could still meet some one else, who will be a wonderful father and role model for him.  

 

If you really felt like your DH could change, and you wanted to try to make your relationship work, then I would suggest counselling.  But, if you just feel like you didn't marry him for the right reasons, and he's not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, than I wouldn't.  People change throughout there lives, and sometimes that means couples growing apart.  There is nothing wrong with that, and you would/could both likely meet others who your're happy with.  

 

Whatever you do, I wouldn't just try to ignore it for your DS's sake, that isn't fair to any of you.  Good luck, and hugs, this is not an easy decision.

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Old 12-17-2011, 08:36 AM
 
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It sounds like he says things that belittle you.  You mention that he's mostly a jerk when he's at home - is that the sort of thing he says/does most of the time?  Because that's not okay, and belittling someone is not a mark of a "great" man. 

 

Is he good with the kids (although I don't believe that setting a poor example by insulting their mother is good for the kids) - meaning, does he give them attention, etc.  If so, your children would certainly still have a father if you separated or divorced.  Visitation arrangements see to that. 

 

I don't think you're overreacting.  Not knowing the extent of his comments or actions, I coudn't advise which way to go, but I do know that people who love each other don't insult each other and try make light of the other person's feelings.  If this is an ongoing dynamic, then I would definitely consider leaving.  Children don't need to see that.

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