Anyone else feel blessed to be a SAHM? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 18 Old 01-10-2012, 07:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi there! I want to say first that I know this is a safe place to vent,so I understand why the posts here are so negative. It's good to have a place to get strong feelings out the bad and the good. I guess that's why I am posting. I am the only SAHM I know. My dh is always saying he doesn't know how I can do it. But honestly, ever since the day I became a mother, I knew this was my calling. My lifes work. I have had many jobs, but they left me depressed and empty, I mourned every moment spent away from my kids.

I adore raising my children, and I am so grateful, somehow, we are still financially able to keep out heads above water.

I can feel a tangible source I am tapping into, even when all is choas, it's there. The energy of the divine mother. I feel compelled to reach out to other mothers (or fathers) that are awake to this really sacred experience. Can you visit for a minute?

 


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#2 of 18 Old 01-10-2012, 10:26 AM
 
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I really love being at home. I love being able to plan my own day, determine how busy we are, and really be there. So yes, I feel very blessed to be at home.

 

I'm in a bit of a "purple funk"-- not depression, as it doens't last long enough. Just really worn down, worried about many things, and hoping it all doesn't coalesce into a reality in which I have to go back to working for a paycheck.

 

I know what you mean about mourning the time away from the kids. I don't know if I can live up to the idea of mothering as a sacred experience. Heavens, I wish it were so, but the mundane frustrations get me.

 

I know what I need to work on. I need to work on cultivating my own, independent mood. When my husband is stressed, as he is currently in "super" form, I absorb and reflect it all. His stress equals my stress. His "purple funk" equals mine.


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#3 of 18 Old 01-10-2012, 05:14 PM
 
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This thread is wonderful, thanks for starting! I also feel very blessed that I am able to be a SAHM. I have a real sense of passion about how I spend my days. I've enjoyed my previous academic and work experiences, but this is the first time that I've felt like I'm really, truly, and honestly doing something worthwhile. It makes me want to keep growing and becoming a better wife, mom, person, everything. OP, you hit the nail on the head when you said other jobs have left you empty. Yes, I completely agree. In fact, I'm at a loss for words right now trying to express just how much of a fit being a SAHM mom is for me. I just am and I love it. You know how people always say, "When it's right, you'll know"? Well, it's right and I know.

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#4 of 18 Old 01-10-2012, 06:56 PM
 
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Being a mother is most definitely where I want to be. I do enjoy being a sahm & am very, very thankful I don't have to work elsewhere.


Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#5 of 18 Old 01-11-2012, 10:28 AM
 
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Yes, I feel blessed too.  It is hard, wonderful work.  It is the reason for being.  It is wild love!

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#6 of 18 Old 01-11-2012, 09:33 PM
 
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There are days when I would love to trade places with DH but yes, I feel completely and utterly blessed to be able to stay home. Even on one income we are comfortable so if I ever chose to go get a job I know i could or I can stay at home. It bein my choice definitely helps matters! Do I've overwhelmed? Yes... Is my house a mess most of the time? Yes. Would I trade it for having a nine to five? No way!

DH(9/04) DS(12/08) and DD(5/11)

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#7 of 18 Old 01-12-2012, 05:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It is so nice to be reading your post. It's probably just my heightened emotional, pregnant state, but I have been feeling like such an alien. My life is so different than everyones in my circle. It's like I am the only member of an extinct race of women. I meant what I said about feeling sustained by something greater than myself. That same ancient essense cries out for community. My husband and I talk aboout moving away from the east coast, constantly. It's like a silent beacon is flashing. Listen to me, I guess I really am an alien, but it's a gift to living from the wisdom of ones heart.

 


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#8 of 18 Old 01-12-2012, 11:31 AM
 
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Yes, I feel blessed. I'm not a full time SAHM anymore (my kids are in school, and I teach about 10 hours a week), but it's still my primary role. For example, it's a snow day and I get to enjoy them instead of worrying about chilcare.

 

What helps me is the balance in my life. I enjoy being a mom more with kids at this age because I can cultivate things like running, playing the flute, and other aspects of my life on a personal level. It was much harder when they were younger, but I wouldn't trade those early days for anything.

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#9 of 18 Old 01-12-2012, 01:33 PM
 
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Hi,

 

While I'm not able to be a full-time stay at home mom for financial reasons, I just completely changed my job to allow me to focus on being ... I dunno what you even call it -- a most of the time stay at home mom?  I guess the difference is that a few years back, if you had asked me what my vocation was, what my calling was, I would have told you it was my high powered profession.  Now, when someone asks me what my calling is, I tell them I'm a wife and mother.  It makes me a total alien where I work.  My boss thinks I've gone completely off my rocker.  In my social network it's pretty much the same thing.  Someone I really respect told me I was setting women back by doing what I'm doing.  In the end though I am totally blessed to be able to stay at  home as much as I do!

 

Anka


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#10 of 18 Old 01-25-2012, 04:23 PM
 
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Thanks for starting this thread!  I rarely come to this forum anymore because it is so negative and I really love being at home.  We're planning to homeschool, so I'm in it for the long haul too.

 

I wanted to say that there are communities where you can find other mothers doing the same thing.  We live in a neighborhood outside of DC that has a lot of crunchy families with stay at home or part time working moms.  You might also consider connecting with some local Waldorf groups.  That is where I have found a group of mothers who are not only loving being SAHMs, but also feel the "spiritual calling" side of it that you referenced. 
 

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#11 of 18 Old 01-26-2012, 11:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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You might also consider connecting with some local Waldorf groups.  That is where I have found a group of mothers who are not only loving being SAHMs, but also feel the "spiritual calling" side of it that you referenced. 

 

 

Thanks for thinking of me, I am afraid the nearest groups are 50 miles away, maybe there is an "underground" crunch family community I have yet to discover. Namaste!


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#12 of 18 Old 01-31-2012, 10:10 PM
 
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yes, i am so happy to be an at home mama!

today was a really hard day for me and thoguh i got frazzled, i still love being with my son. no daycare could ever provide my son with what he gets and needs from me!!!!!

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#13 of 18 Old 02-01-2012, 12:47 AM
 
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well, I feel better suited as a homemaker than as a sahm, if that makes sense.  But I do feel very content and blessed about my life.  Things are hard for me right now, mostly just due to the ages of my children (3 and 1) and my temperment (an introvert that needs her physical and mental space).  I feel blessed to have the great relationship I lhave with my dh, and his support in my work as a sahm.  I'm blessed to have the relationship I have with my children.  I'm blessed that they are healthy, and that I have the support of a few close friends and family members.  Even on the worst of days there is a moment that I get to see them do something or "catch" something for the first time, and its truly magical. 

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#14 of 18 Old 02-01-2012, 05:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happyhats View Post

well, I feel better suited as a homemaker than as a sahm, if that makes sense.  But I do feel very content and blessed about my life.  Things are hard for me right now, mostly just due to the ages of my children (3 and 1) and my temperment (an introvert that needs her physical and mental space).  I feel blessed to have the great relationship I lhave with my dh, and his support in my work as a sahm.  I'm blessed to have the relationship I have with my children.  I'm blessed that they are healthy, and that I have the support of a few close friends and family members.  Even on the worst of days there is a moment that I get to see them do something or "catch" something for the first time, and its truly magical. 



My dh could have posted this, I can really respect what you are saying about space. He loves us and gives to all he's got to support us. But he struggles to find peace, in our child centered choas, and it's hard. I feel like my soul resonates to a sort of divine service kind of vibe, but I am a cancer with her sun in the 7th house (which shows how we relate to others) , so I can see how my perspective may be unique. I loved your post, grace is a beautiful thing. 


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#15 of 18 Old 02-03-2012, 09:33 PM
 
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Yes, I feel blessed to have the option of being a SAHM. I've begun to work part-time, and so I'm learning how to balance my time in a healthy way for me, but because the work is substitute teaching, I can work as little or as much as I would like. And I'm seeing just how much I would rather be home right now. Financially, it's doable, and I'm so grateful for that. I also have a supportive husband who understands that -- despite how much I love it -- staying home with DS all day is taxing in its own ways. 

 

But I've been reflecting on it a lot lately, and I just feel so much more connected and in tune with DS when I'm with him during the day. It's a really special feeling for me. 

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#16 of 18 Old 02-04-2012, 11:03 AM
 
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I feel truly blessed. Ever since I was young I wanted to be a mom, have a home and children. A husband to love, and a family to care for. In high school everyone was talking about and planning for college and joining the work force. All I wanted was a home and family. 

 

I did work for many years. But when my first was born and I left my job to be a sahm it was a turning point in my life. I have been a sahm, a homemaker, a housewife, and a homeschooling mom now for over 12 years and for that I feel so very blessed. 

 

To happyhats, as a fellow introvert and sensitive, take care, it is all worth it. You are in the most challenging years. The older my children got, the easier it is to find down time for mama. 


Michelle , 20+ years with a wonderful DH
Mama to two boys, 12 and 10

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#17 of 18 Old 02-04-2012, 07:09 PM
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Thank you for starting this thread.  I also am blessed to be a SAHM  -- since 2001!  I tell my children every day that I am happy to be with them and happy to be their mom and happy to be able to take care of them.  I consider SAHMing a vocation and a career choice.  I thank my DH for making the SAHM career choice possible for our family.  Some days are very, very difficult, but the reward is immense.


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#18 of 18 Old 02-06-2012, 02:29 PM
 
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I feel absolutely blessed to be a SAHM. Yes, there are times when I feel completely overwhelmed with the day-to-day stuff, but I know this is where I'm meant to be.


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