How do I get through this? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 03-04-2012, 08:40 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm a SAHM to my 2 yr old ds and I have been lucky enough to do so since he was about 5 months old. I'm currently about 7 weeks pregnant (so nausea and exhaustion). I feel like I'm failing or something. We've never really had much of a schedule and I've felt like this for a while, but even more so now, I feel so lazy! Like we hardly ever do anything. It's winter here in New England so it's cold outside. We go to the store occasionally and sometimes out to lunch with my dad once a week. Otherwise, we sit around and I have to force myself to shower and get dressed. For all you other SAHM, what do you do all day? How do you feel productive? Will this get worse with a second baby


Thanks for any advice! 

SAHM married with 2 boys (Feb 2010 & Oct 2012) 


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#2 of 4 Old 03-04-2012, 11:28 PM
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I'm around 9 weeks and I totally get you with the exhaustion and morning sickness.. Right now I'm focused on surviving, things will normalize once I start feeling better in a few weeks. We just moved as well so we are really off any schedule. Once I start feeling better and we get unpacked/organized I will rework the schedule we had in our previous home. Id use the same schedule but it was for when my husband was deployed so I need to work him into our schedule love.gif


As for 1 vs 2.. I got better with the housework when I had 2.. 2 vs 3 was a harder transition but we moved from Japan back to the states and my husband deployed SOO I don't know if it was the number of children or the transitions. Once I got to a routine it became a lot easier for me.


My advice is RELAX but try to stay to a loose schedule... well try to stick to a loose schedule once morning sickness stops.. while you feel bad Id stick to maintenance (so do laundry and dishes, feed everyone and keep the kids somewhat happy).

~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
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#3 of 4 Old 03-05-2012, 04:08 AM
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Okimom makes a lot of good points. You'll get your energy back once you're leaving the first trimester, and the weather will be nicer by then. It's a lot easier to be motivated to go for a walk to the park when you don't have to put on an extra bunch of clothes. I find doing things in the same sequence, no matter what time I start, is easiest for me.


I get most of my productivity done first thing in the morning... I throw on a load of laundry before I go upstairs, then unload the dishwasher while I'm making breakfast so there'll be somewhere to put dirty dishes. I think about what to serve for supper then, too. If I do a few things early on, then I'm more likely to putter around later and get more done. If I don't get moving until later in the day, I start with something I consider non-essential, like sweeping and/or mopping the floor.. I'll get to the dishes no matter what, but if I do them first I can and will skip the floor.


The only cleaning I'll ever do after supper is the supper dishes, and cleaning the bathroom. The latter only because I usually wash the shower enclosure & tub at the start of taking a shower. That's another thing, if I have to shower during the day before I'd consider going out, that greatly lowers my chances of getting out, so I shower in the evening.


One thing that helps me is to have people over... it creates a deadline that things have to be tidy by. Sure, it makes more dishes and maybe more toys laying around to have people over, but the coffee table and the floor are still clean underneath them, but I find picking up easier than mopping and windexing. 


It will get worse with two, but just for the newborn stage. Kids are able to entertain each other a lot sooner than you might think, so there will be little 10 minute windows to quickly pick up. It takes a little getting used to that... nothing is ever done, but one day the bathroom will look great and a few days later it'll be a disaster, but you've vacuumed, then the floor will be crumby but everything will be in it's place, etc.

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#4 of 4 Old 03-05-2012, 01:31 PM
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It will definitely get better! I spent sooooooo much time lying on the couch in my first trimester with my second! I have a memory of DS1 (who was 2yo at the time) rubbing my back while I threw up in the toilet!


Once I started feeling less sick we got out and did a lot. Once DS2 arrived it took me until about 3mo to get in a routine, but after that it became a lot easier.

It's complicated.
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