If you started doing (voluntary or low-paid, no benefits) OH work for just 1 or 2 days or let's say 6-12 hours a week, in the hours DH or DP doesn't, and so far you've been a full-time SAHM, do you still regard yourself mostly as a SAHM or a WOHM?
I would probably say SAHM unless I were doing work that I wanted eventually to become full-time. I work from home. The number of hours has varied tremendously over the past 7 years, and one of the things I find difficult is the distinction between SAHM/WOHM. I take DD to dance class on Tuesdays, and the women there say some negative things about working moms often or make comments about how their daughter said she "just wanted to be a mom" as an adult. I hear comments about SAHMs when I go to networking events geared toward women. It feels like walking a tightrope all of the time because I don't fit into the worldview of either group completely. (The irony, of course, is that I have the benefit of seeing motherhood from both perspectives.) I imagine that you would face some of the same awkwardness.
I don't really know why to ask that question but I did it anyway :-).
Maybe because I realised there's women/men who work 2 days/week and call themselves (as) WOH, or there's families where both partners each work few days a week (alternately) who probably do the same, when WOH days may be less than SAH days a week.
Then there's SAHM and expat women doing voluntary work (possibly paid here and there) but who mainly seem to see themselves as SAHM or SAHW (probably since not being the main provider nor providing insurance etc. through this?).
Personally for me it doesn't really matter which one I actually am or 'should be'. But I realise that I must be a bit of both now (even if it's just one day WOH a week) and it feels somehow awkward to call yourself a SAHM and at the same time hear yourself saying: 'I must get up early tomorrow to get off to work', and to find yourself preparing some of the work from home, as these things are not related to the 'SAHM workload'.
I also find it weird that when you announce that you (additionally) do this or that as WOH, everyone thinks that's SOOO great (as in opposition to 'just SAHM'), while I find it equally great when people tell me about being full-time SAHM. Otoh, from some among the WOHM side a minor load of WOH doesn't seem to look sufficient for that work to be taken seriously (not to speak about the main SAHM workload ;-).
And I am a person that doesnt really care much about what people THINK of me, but it still feels very awkward. As the other poster wrote, it feels like being somewhere halfway ;-).
I admit that I straddle the worlds of the SAHM, WOHM, and WAHM. I post in all areas of the forums here because my needs range from being with kids on days end to working at home with 4 kids under my feet to leaving them with the nanny and going into the office! I work around 7 hours a week but because I am able to do the vast majority of day to day life with the kids, my main identity to myself is that of a SAHM.
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