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#1 of 20 Old 06-11-2012, 10:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel so blah in the way I look, ugh. I feel I look like such a 'mom', if you know what I mean...like I'm this close to looking like one of the moms from the SNL mom jean spoof commercial. At 3.5 months postpartum don't fit into my pre pregnancy clothes (I gained 50 lbs!) I'm feeling like I don't have any style.

 

I think what I'm struggling most with is my hair. I've always had short little pixie cuts or cute bobs but I'm trying to grow it out since it would be easier to throw my hair up in a cute ponytail than having to wash and style it everyday. I want to dye it some bold color while I grow it out but a) it fades so fast in the sun and b) my DH says I'm too old to dye it fuchsia (I'm 28) :(. Thoughts? Too old to dye it fuchsia at 28 as a SAHM?


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"Childbirth is more admirable than conquest, more amazing than self-defense, and as courageous as either one."
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#2 of 20 Old 06-11-2012, 11:27 AM
 
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Ouch.  I had some ideas about my look when I exited the professional world to stay home with my little Miss, and my ideas were spurred on by friends... aren't they always?  Darn irresponsible friends, wanting to see you do something crazy!  So I mentioned my ideas to my husband, and they were ideas like, teeny tiny nose ring, purple hair... not both!  One or the other.  ( I am already tattooed, but very minimally so, although visibly, if that makes sense.) 

I have never, ever, ever, ever, in my entire life, heard the word "Sure." sound so... amused, condescending, confused, amused...

 

So, I am starting to look really old.  I see a picture of myself now and I think "Who is that daffy old woman?" and I'm horrified!  Why is that daffy old woman wearing my clothes?!?!? 

And I feel more at sea with regards to personal style now than ever before. 

 

I read an article recently that advised me to spend a few days or weeks collecting magazine and media clippings of things I like, things that speak to me, and then put them up on a board.  Then spend a few days or weeks ruminating on what those images might mean, what I might be able to glean about my desires from those images.

 

I strongly suspect I will wind up with 100 pictures of impossibly, tall, slender women in designer day dresses, and the message will be, I am truly and properly effed in this regard, because I am way too old to grow any taller, and yet, never to old to grow wider!  Also, my monthly clothes budget is currently $0, which puts me in the target demographic of 0 designers.

 

I am hoping that I will finally have some clarity about what I like, at this point, and will then boldly do it, no matter what that grumpy old goat I married has to say about it.

 

I realize this post is no help.  Sorry!

 

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#3 of 20 Old 06-11-2012, 11:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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"Also, my monthly clothes budget is currently $0, which puts me in the target demographic of 0 designers."

 

Exactly where I am! And that made me laugh. Atleast I know I'm not alone. Exapnding my clothing budget is making want to see how little I can spend out of our food budget. ;)

I did find a pretty cool hipster thrift store and bought two pairs of name brand shorts for $23! In Southern Cali, that's amazing! Also, having to filter all tops with the question "could I nurse in this?" limits my choices.

Having to try stuff on instead of everything fitting me well in my size, is so different than I'm used to. I still have 20 lbs out of 50 to lose and fluctanting sizes makes it hard for me to just buy something because I don't know if it'll still fit in two months. I look at my pre pregnancy clothes and think that I was SO tiny!

 

I think I'll just dye my hair pink anyways! I need to find my inner punk rock again to bring my sexy back!

Now to find a salon that'll do it for me...


DD Seraphina born at home on 2/21/2012! 

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#4 of 20 Old 06-12-2012, 05:09 AM
 
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I think every woman goes thru this...not only stay at home moms. I would pull everything out of my cupboards and mix and match outfits to give yourself a fresh look. Also throw on a necklace. Takes 2 seconds and might help you feel updated.

 

Your hair? I say go for it. I know lots of moms with crazy hair. I'm wanting to do mine soon too.
 


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#5 of 20 Old 06-12-2012, 05:59 AM
 
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It's pretty typical for a new mom to make a fairly drastic change in hairstyle - at least, in my experience. I cut my hair short. I think part of it was an attempt to find an identity - outward change mirrors internal change etc. etc. And part of it was just needing to find a simpler style. I was wrong about that - short hair takes a lot of work. Also, a lot of my hair fell out for a year or so post-partum, so I had weird thin hair and it was different lengths as it grew back in, so I needed a cut to deal with those changes. The great thing about hair is that any change you make doesn't have to be permanent. 

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#6 of 20 Old 06-12-2012, 11:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by caiesmommy View Post

I think every woman goes thru this...not only stay at home moms. I would pull everything out of my cupboards and mix and match outfits to give yourself a fresh look. Also throw on a necklace. Takes 2 seconds and might help you feel updated.

 

Your hair? I say go for it. I know lots of moms with crazy hair. I'm wanting to do mine soon too.
 

 This is great advice (thanks!) only thing is that I still don't fit into all my pre pregnancy clothes and the issue with my tops are that I moved from Seattle to San Diego in January and my clothes are mainly long sleeve shirts and layers. It really does rain all the time in Seattle and its so hot here. I need to get some more nursing friendly tank tops...I have two from Glamouramom but I don't really like them that much. You can see the cutouts for nursing really easily, and they're thick and uncomfortable.

 

The one time I wore a necklace, my DD kept holding on to it, and it was from Tiffany's. Not wearing that again for a while! She definitely in a grabby phase and is very interested in details. She loves to touch my DH's tattoos :).

 

I realised that I like my hair a whole lot more when I actually blow dry it with a brush! Ha. I think I'm going to bleach it super blonde and have pink bangs!


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#7 of 20 Old 06-12-2012, 04:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MrsGregory View Post

Ouch.  I had some ideas about my look when I exited the professional world to stay home with my little Miss, and my ideas were spurred on by friends... aren't they always?  Darn irresponsible friends, wanting to see you do something crazy!  So I mentioned my ideas to my husband, and they were ideas like, teeny tiny nose ring, purple hair... not both!  One or the other.  ( I am already tattooed, but very minimally so, although visibly, if that makes sense.) 

I have never, ever, ever, ever, in my entire life, heard the word "Sure." sound so... amused, condescending, confused, amused...

 

So, I am starting to look really old.  I see a picture of myself now and I think "Who is that daffy old woman?" and I'm horrified!  Why is that daffy old woman wearing my clothes?!?!? 

And I feel more at sea with regards to personal style now than ever before. 

 

I read an article recently that advised me to spend a few days or weeks collecting magazine and media clippings of things I like, things that speak to me, and then put them up on a board.  Then spend a few days or weeks ruminating on what those images might mean, what I might be able to glean about my desires from those images.

 

I strongly suspect I will wind up with 100 pictures of impossibly, tall, slender women in designer day dresses, and the message will be, I am truly and properly effed in this regard, because I am way too old to grow any taller, and yet, never to old to grow wider!  Also, my monthly clothes budget is currently $0, which puts me in the target demographic of 0 designers.

 

I am hoping that I will finally have some clarity about what I like, at this point, and will then boldly do it, no matter what that grumpy old goat I married has to say about it.

 

I realize this post is no help.  Sorry!

 

flowersforyou.gif

 

Well said.  And hilarious.  And ohhhhhh....so true.

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#8 of 20 Old 06-12-2012, 04:07 PM
 
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I found a solution to the "Can I nurse in this?" restriction. I have a few sundresses that I love but to nurse in them I have to pull them down and that exposes my whole breast, which I am not comfortable doing in public. So when we go out and I want to wear a dress, I bring a t-shirt to throw on over it when DD wants to eat. Then I can pull the top of the dress down, and not feel naked. I take the top off again once I'm done nursing (if I remember) I don't know if a nice sundress would break you out of the rut, but I thought I'd share because they're my favourite thing to wear in the summer and I'm pretty happy to have found an answer to my problem... on my third child duh.gif


~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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#9 of 20 Old 06-12-2012, 04:21 PM
 
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28 is too old for fuchsia hair?! NO WAY.


Jean, feminist mama raising three boys: W (7), E (5) and L (2.15.13)

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#10 of 20 Old 06-13-2012, 01:03 AM
 
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Yeah, 28 is in no way too old for fuchsia hair. Plus, you'll never be younger than 28 again, so may as well do it now. :p
 


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#11 of 20 Old 06-13-2012, 01:18 PM
 
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What about choping up some of the old clothes? Tons of tutes online. I tear apart dhs clothes all the timewinky.gif
 


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#12 of 20 Old 06-13-2012, 02:06 PM
 
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In my city, I regularly see women in their late 40s and 50s that have bright pink or fuchsia hair. They have this whole "stylish Euro grandma with funky glasses" look going, and it's great when done well. Of course a lot depends on how the new color will fit with your overall style.

 

You could try on a wig - I was considering a hair color change once, I tried a wig and decided against it. It saved me time and disappointment.

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#13 of 20 Old 06-13-2012, 02:27 PM
 
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Another solution for the pretty dresses issue is a tank top underneath (pull the dress down and the tank up and you're still a bit covered).

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#14 of 20 Old 06-16-2012, 02:38 PM
 
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I'm right there with you in desperately needing a change. As for the hair -- YES, do it! I'm 38 and would consider doing it, although I'm pretty sure DH would nix that one. I wanted to shave my head a month ago for a fundraising event for a co-workers daughter who has cancer. I thought it would be great -- get rid of the hair that I killed at the beginning of the year & start over as I transitioned into being a SAHM -- but DH said no. I had my hair all sorts of colors in my 20s. The great thing about hair is that you can mess with it & then start over if needed. 

 

As for clothes, have you looked into consignment shops or eBay. I realize this still means spending money, but I've found some great deals on styles that I like that aren't costing me an arm and a leg. Most of the stuff is still new, but just with a way reduced price (on eBay, that is). The consignment stuff is usually in really good shape. It's just a thought to help your $0 budget go further. ROTFLMAO.gif

 

I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my look. I have a "spa day" that I'm using on Friday. DH had given me a gift certificate for Christmas and I'm just now getting around to using it. It includes a haircut, so that's where I'm stuck. I'm also feeling like I'm looking old and frumpy (well, I am old), and need some freshening up. We'll see what happens. I'm also going to attempt a diet & fitness plan starting next week that might help me feel a little better about myself as a whole. I've really gone downhill this past year with stress from work. It's a blessing that I'm staying home now -- even though I know it comes with its own stresses.


Beth - blissfully married to Doug. DS - Liam (5/10) nocirc.gif &  Darcy (2/13). homebirth.jpg waterbirth.jpgNew SAHM & Labor Doula.

 

babygirl.gif Welcome baby girl! Born at home, in the water, in the caul, and caught by daddy. February 24, 2013!  babygirl.gif

 

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#15 of 20 Old 06-17-2012, 01:16 PM
 
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I have a pixie that I have tried to grow out several times....  I always end up cutting it all off.  What takes so long to fix it?  I put a touch of mousse in when it is wet, blow-dry for as long as I get a chance and then put that big sexy hair powder play in it (that weird super fine texture stuff) tousle it and then set it with a bit of hairspray.  Between that and mineral foundation, eyeliner and mascara it takes like 5 minutes tops.  In fact I think I can do it and brush my teeth in 5 minutes :)  

 

No really- I get it.  What about putting that colored get stuff in for fun bright highlights- then you aren't committed to fushia, it washes out (I think), and no fading!  I like the nose ring idea- but DH would kill me if I did that :)  Bravado tanks are way way better than glamourmom ones....


Iowaorganic- mama to DD (1/5/06), DS1 (4/9/07), DS2 (1/22/09), DS3 (12/10/10), DD2 (7/6/12) and a new kid due in early 2014

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#16 of 20 Old 06-17-2012, 01:55 PM
 
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about the necklace idea....  it's a great one.  And don't just think necklaces, expand to cool, funky accessories of all types that are really *you.*  With fluctuating mama-bods, you gotta think outside of clothing items that depend on your waistline to fit right.   My favorite one is scarves.  A fabulous scarf can be the one statement piece in your whole outfit that really makes you feel put together and stylish.  The outfit itself can be solid colored basics that are as flattering to your shape-of-the-month as possible, but the cool scarf really stands out against it and draws the attention (perhaps away from whatever it is about your bod that you're not thrilled with just yet) and can also be used as a nursing aid, to drape across the chest above the breast and shoulder, for example, if your clothes don't keep that part covered when you are breastfeeding.

Second favorite accessory, for me, is shoes/bags.  Cool boots or platform strappy sandals that really speak to you don't care if you gained weight with pregnancy and can add so much pizzaaz to what you are wearing, especially if it's just a pair of leggings/capri leggings and a tunic.  The bag/diaper bag can be bright and nifty, blingy or whatever, and if your outfit is simple and solid colored, the bag/diaper bag can be the part that makes you not feel frumpy when you step outside your home.

Jewelry is also excellent, dangly earrings or cool necklaces (or bracelets, although these annoy me) of all types, even durable ones that can handle kiddos grabbin' on them (for the most part).  There are infinite options, so you can find ones that look great on you and fit the style you truly want to exude. 

Of course you still need to choose a hairstyle that you think will work great, but the wig idea was a great one, so you can test out a look on your face shape and skin tone.  a drastic cut takes a lot of time to grow out and a major dye job can wreck the quality of your hair especially if you have to re-dye it if it doesn't work for you. A really good stylist can recommend what would look good for your face shape and skin tone, or just browse the internet and try to find photos of women who have the same face shape and skin tone and a hairstyle that you're considering and see how they look.  There are websites that walk you through these decisions and recommend certain cuts and colors for your type.

You still gotta wear tops and bottoms (or dresses), and I know it's hard to buy for a changing body type.  But there is a wonderful solution---wrap tops and wrap skirts/dresses!  I love that they can be customized to perfectly fit the body you have today, and OH SO FLATTERING.  The wrap/tie bit is usually at the empire waistline, absolutely the most flattering spot to cinch an outfit when you aren't sporting your trimmest waistline at the moment.   Get a few basics in dark colors like plum, navy, hunter green, and of course black (these are the easiest colors to wash out messes that little ones cause on your lap as well as the most slimming) that are quality and fit wonderfully, in washable fabrics.  I prefer 98% cotton/2% spandex.

 

Budget issues........eBay!  I second the eBay notion!  I buy second hand clothes listed on consignment from a few trusted ebay sellers that I use over and over again the past decade.  Or just from whomever has a lot of positive feedback.  There, I can find items for 95% off retail and the selection is UNBEATABLE.  Whether it's a scarlet red stretch cotton wrap blouse or a stretch denim wrap dress or a silk scarf in a print that excites me, or jewelry/bags/shoes of any type, I can always find amazing bargains.  Almost my entire closet is bought from eBay and I laugh at clothes store prices when i am in one, and imagine how many items I could have from eBay, for the price of one item in a brand name clothes store.

 

etsy is amazing but only for pricey splurges.  

 

Good luck finding a style that makes you feel amazing when you look into the mirror before walking out the door!

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#17 of 20 Old 06-17-2012, 03:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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about the necklace idea....  it's a great one.  And don't just think necklaces, expand to cool, funky accessories of all types that are really *you.*  With fluctuating mama-bods, you gotta think outside of clothing items that depend on your waistline to fit right.   My favorite one is scarves.  A fabulous scarf can be the one statement piece in your whole outfit that really makes you feel put together and stylish.  The outfit itself can be solid colored basics that are as flattering to your shape-of-the-month as possible, but the cool scarf really stands out against it and draws the attention (perhaps away from whatever it is about your bod that you're not thrilled with just yet) and can also be used as a nursing aid, to drape across the chest above the breast and shoulder, for example, if your clothes don't keep that part covered when you are breastfeeding.

 

I LOVE scarves and would wear one everyday for all of fall/winter/spring in Seattle but I live in San Diego now and its 80 degress outside today! I think that's the toughest part for me is that my wardrobe is not appropiate for such a change in weather. My favourite outfit was combat boots with leggings, shirt, and a sweater. 

 

I talked to DH about this the other day and he explained his hestiation more - its not that I'm too old, its that he's too old. Ha! He's in a leadership position at work and it could look negative on him if his already much younger than him wife has pink hair at a work event. He's 41. I totally understand and get what he's saying. Its not a stodgy company by any means (a video game company) but he's stands to get promoted to executive level after they ship the current game, and I don't want the colour of my hair to colour (no pun intended) his boss' opinions about him and me. That's just truth of the matter. I think I'll get a trim and some bangs and go much lighter blonde, maybe even platnium. I already have a nose ring and tattoos... :)

 

Thanks for everyone's advice! I'll try ebay and thrift stores. I've been thinking about cutting up some clothes and redesigning them...I do have a sewing machine, although when I tried to make cloth wipes, I couldn't figure out how to serge the edges so I just sewed and now they're fraying really bad :(. My DH and step daughter can both sew so I'll make them help me. I'm going to experiement with headbands and hair wraps too.


DD Seraphina born at home on 2/21/2012! 

"Childbirth is more admirable than conquest, more amazing than self-defense, and as courageous as either one."
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#18 of 20 Old 07-01-2012, 11:24 AM
 
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I think what I'm struggling most with is my hair. I've always had short little pixie cuts or cute bobs but I'm trying to grow it out since it would be easier to throw my hair up in a cute ponytail than having to wash and style it everyday. I want to dye it some bold color while I grow it out but a) it fades so fast in the sun and b) my DH says I'm too old to dye it fuchsia (I'm 28) :(. Thoughts? Too old to dye it fuchsia at 28 as a SAHM?

I'm in exactly the same boat.  I'm growing out what was an incredibly adorable pixie so that I can just throw it back in a ponytail and pretend it doesn't exist.  The reason I'm growing it out is that it grows ridiculously fast, and for a pixie to stay cute I need to go to get it trimmed every 5 or 6 weeks, and I have neither the time nor the money for that anymore.  

 

I also hate keeping up with color for the same reason, time and money.  But my natural color is a pretty dull dishwater blond with lots of gray at my temples (I'm 27!  Thanks for the prematurely-gray gene, mom) and does me no favors.  Once it gets a bit longer (it's not quite to my shoulders now) I'm considering going and getting a subtle ombre type color done, so that it looks intentional but since there is no root color involved I don't have to worry about keeping it up.  

 

I would really love to be confident wearing no makeup, and I'm always envious when I go to LLL or API meetings and seeing cosmetic-free hippie moms looking beautiful and self-assured, but I just don't have the skin to go makeup free.  Actually, this last week we were potty training and I stayed home for five days, so I didn't put on makeup at all.  Then yesterday was our 5th anniversary so I put some on to go to dinner - holy crap, I looked amazing!  I'm so torn because I know there's really awful stuff in cosmetics, but wearing it really does make me feel better.  Sigh.




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#19 of 20 Old 07-04-2012, 08:28 AM
 
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In your clothes budget, DIY(DO-It-Yourself) techniques can help!! You can turn your longsleeves into a amazing tank top and others.  Here is a link in how to Turn a T-Shirt into a Tube Top.. http://diyfashion.about.com/od/diytops/ss/Turn-A-T-Shirt-Into-A-Tube-Top.htm   Hope this helps!!joy.gif


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#20 of 20 Old 07-05-2012, 10:01 AM
 
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luckiest - I wear makeup too.  My hair is never "sans product".  We can start a support group.  hug2.gif

Heck, I waterline (my eyes) with non-organic drugstore liner... But really, really, I'm just sick of looking exhausted.  (I am also sick of being exhausted, but what can I do?)

It makes me feel less... schlumpy.  And that's a big deal to a new SAHM!

 

Make-up-aholics anonymous meets at the Ulta weekly.  Bring your own wine and weekly coupon insert.


lovestory.gif   And on 09/23/2011, we were three;  husband, daughter, and me!

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