Help me change my attitude - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 04-02-2013, 03:00 PM - Thread Starter
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I am in a bad space.  Outings have become really hard.  My six year old is a dream when out, very concerned with following any rules.  But my three year old is whiney and demanding.  Still too young to fully understand consequences and to control his impulses.  I am trying to set limits logically.  But this is just making every time we go out harder.  I feel like a grumpy watch dog.  And each outing is ending with a tantrum as I wrestle him into the car.  

The biggest behavior problem is wanting to do something, making whiney screams for it, and not listening to my no.  So, I am trying to say yes more.  Really working on thinking about whether things matter and not controlling needlessly.  But still, there is always some thing that ends it all bad.

I look around and it seems like everyone else is calm and enjoying themselves.  They are not having power struggles.  Just having fun.  I feel like I am on the verge loosing it the whole time I am out at supposedly kid friendly activities.  

I want to have a good time.  I want my kids to have a good time.  How can I make that happen?  

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#2 of 7 Old 04-02-2013, 04:34 PM
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No advice but I can commiserate sometimes (even though I only have one 2 y.o.). But I really liked the way you put this. I will borrow this idea because I think controlling needlessly is definitely something I need to work on, so thank you!

Originally Posted by bellyfruit View Post

So, I am trying to say yes more.  Really working on thinking about whether things matter and not controlling needlessly.

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#3 of 7 Old 04-03-2013, 09:43 AM
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I feel your pain.  I have a very difficult now 5 year old.  Outings with him have always been such a PITA.  One thing that helps me is that I always remember to pick my battles.  Some things are important, other things not so much.  I try to only concentrate on the things that are vital for safety, both his and others.  


Good luck.  hug2.gif

Candy, Mom to Matthew (5/02) and Ethan (10/07)

Trying for #3 starting 5/13

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#4 of 7 Old 04-21-2013, 10:07 PM
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One thing I told myself when DD was an infant and I was wondering where I went wrong as she screamed and cried while all the other babies slept or looked around quietly, was this: the babies who scream all the time do not go to 'mommy and me' movies, yoga, bootcamp or library time as much as the 'easier' babies. They stay home more. This is to say that the children you see out and about are probably not a representative sample of all types of children. No real advice, but just my 2 cents. I hope it gets easier.

Mama to my two sweet monkeys - DD '04 and DS '06
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#5 of 7 Old 04-22-2013, 08:26 AM
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I will echo the post by Allison's mom. My 2 year old DD is not chronically always difficult but when she's going through a developmental leap, teething or otherwise just hitting a difficult stage, we limit how much we go out. I'm six months pregnant and can't handle her alone when she's having a really rough/defiant/tantrummy day so we stay home. If you were to meet us at the library/park, etc you'd probably think she's a little angel lol. The truth is that we generally stay home when things are rough and people don't get to see the Mr Hyde side of her much. I imagine other moms also do something similar so please don't feel too intimidated by all those "good" kids out there hug.gif
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#6 of 7 Old 04-23-2013, 04:53 AM
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My 5-year-old is very whiny and demanding and extremely challenging, but luckily relatively well-behaved at kid-friendly activities outside the home.  My 2.5 is just like this: "there is always something that ends it bad".   It seems like every activity lately (at home and outside the home) involves me strong-arming him into doing something because he did not accept whatever limit was set.  I hate it.  I have stopped taking my kids most places.  We have enough conflict at home.

DD 12/07 DS 9/10

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#7 of 7 Old 04-23-2013, 05:02 AM
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There have been phases for me through the years where it's felt more difficult to go out than it's been worth. I've just tried to get through those time periods with fewer outings. Kids change so quickly when they're little that it won't necessarily be long before the 3-year-old can handle outings better. Everyone else might have stayed home when their kids were going through phases like that too, so I wouldn't worry too much about what other people are handling. Do what you feel is best. If you think it's worth giving it a try, then go out, but if you think it'll exhaust you to go somewhere, play at home. And take it easy on yourself. smile.gif
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