I am in a bad space. Outings have become really hard. My six year old is a dream when out, very concerned with following any rules. But my three year old is whiney and demanding. Still too young to fully understand consequences and to control his impulses. I am trying to set limits logically. But this is just making every time we go out harder. I feel like a grumpy watch dog. And each outing is ending with a tantrum as I wrestle him into the car.
The biggest behavior problem is wanting to do something, making whiney screams for it, and not listening to my no. So, I am trying to say yes more. Really working on thinking about whether things matter and not controlling needlessly. But still, there is always some thing that ends it all bad.
I look around and it seems like everyone else is calm and enjoying themselves. They are not having power struggles. Just having fun. I feel like I am on the verge loosing it the whole time I am out at supposedly kid friendly activities.
I want to have a good time. I want my kids to have a good time. How can I make that happen?
No advice but I can commiserate sometimes (even though I only have one 2 y.o.). But I really liked the way you put this. I will borrow this idea because I think controlling needlessly is definitely something I need to work on, so thank you!
I feel your pain. I have a very difficult now 5 year old. Outings with him have always been such a PITA. One thing that helps me is that I always remember to pick my battles. Some things are important, other things not so much. I try to only concentrate on the things that are vital for safety, both his and others.
Candy, Mom to Matthew (5/02) and Ethan (10/07)
Trying for #3 starting 5/13
One thing I told myself when DD was an infant and I was wondering where I went wrong as she screamed and cried while all the other babies slept or looked around quietly, was this: the babies who scream all the time do not go to 'mommy and me' movies, yoga, bootcamp or library time as much as the 'easier' babies. They stay home more. This is to say that the children you see out and about are probably not a representative sample of all types of children. No real advice, but just my 2 cents. I hope it gets easier.
My 5-year-old is very whiny and demanding and extremely challenging, but luckily relatively well-behaved at kid-friendly activities outside the home. My 2.5 is just like this: "there is always something that ends it bad". It seems like every activity lately (at home and outside the home) involves me strong-arming him into doing something because he did not accept whatever limit was set. I hate it. I have stopped taking my kids most places. We have enough conflict at home.
DD 12/07 DS 9/10
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