hugging or not hugging babies under 6 months. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 07-19-2013, 03:21 AM - Thread Starter
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I have 5 months old baby.All the times she needs hug.She will cry as soon as I put her in bed.Her father has got back pain during these 5 months.I have heard some counsolers that parents should not let their babies under 6 months cry.They believe it causes babies imagine you do not pay attention to her or him and this lead to acting out when they get older.On the other hand some people says baby will spoil when you hug as soon as cry. I am completely confused .I do not really know what to do? 

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#2 of 3 Old 07-19-2013, 04:54 AM
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Babies have a literal need for the closeness and affection hugging gives. Damage can be done if you withhold that from your baby and even more so under 6 months but even older babies need that. Babies only way of communication is through crying, that is their only way of letting you know that they need something. And when your child does finally quiet up it isn't because that need went away, but that he or she learned that that need won't be met, they lost that trust. Do you what you feel is best as a parent, not what anyone tells you. If your instincts tell you to pick that baby up, go get him or her and hold them. Usually, in most cases, a parents instinct is right on but conflicting advice makes them doubt their instincts.

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#3 of 3 Old 07-19-2013, 09:40 AM
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It sounds like you have a baby who likes to be held! It is ok to hold your baby as much as she needs. We are here to comfort our children.


You brought up some other issues. You say that her father has gotten sore from holding the baby so much! We all know what that's like. Do you have a baby carrier? Something like this:


A baby carrier can take some of the stress off your arms and shoulders. If your baby is into being worn, she can just ride along with you for hours, sleeping in there, while you have your hands free and get work done around the house or go on a walk or run errands.


You also mention that she cries when you put her down in bed. That is pretty normal. It is scary for many children to fall asleep alone. Perhaps she may prefer being rocked or nursed to sleep, then you can put her down? Not everyone is into that but it works better for me and my son.

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