Being a SAHP while the kids are all in school - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 09-24-2013, 11:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is my first year as what feels like  part time empty nester! Both of my children are in full time school and it's just me and the dog at home for the most part. 

I considered getting a job and have had multiple offers even though I wasn't looking but for various reasons having two working parents, even if I only worked during school hours, isn't feesible with my husband's schedule at the moment. Plus we both like having me home. 

Is anyone else in the same boat? 

 

How long did it take for you to fall into a new routine?

  - I'm finding this the hardest, I have so much I feel like I need to get done now (because I don't have the kids to look after) that I feel by the end of the night that I'm run off my feet and I still have a mountain of stuff not done. I know this may slow down once I get all the big projects over with and into a routine, but at the moment I'm feeling like a crazy chicken running around with it's head cut off!


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#2 of 9 Old 09-24-2013, 02:35 PM
 
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I'm afraid I don't have any insight, but I am curious to hear the replies because I think this may be me in a few years! You sound like me, tackling big projects immediately once the free time opens up. I'm sure once the routine becomes solidified those projects will be easier to compartmentalize so you aren't wiped at the end of the day! 

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#3 of 9 Old 09-25-2013, 02:58 AM
 
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Have you built any rest or you time into your schedule? It sounds like you need to. my kids are in school 2.5 hours each morning and at first I felt like I had so much free time and now it passes too fast. I love how many projects I am getting done though.
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#4 of 9 Old 09-25-2013, 09:26 AM
 
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What I did before my little one came was something like this: I'd get the kids off to school and then have breakfast (at the computer, hi!) Once I've got a coffee in me, I clean the kitchen, do laundry, etc. Anything that needs to happen daily, except making supper, happened before lunch. Around lunch I'd give myself a longish break. There's a few TV shows I watch online so that'd be 45 minutes. Once that was over, I'd pick a do-it-weekly job or a project. If I was out in the morning, the daily stuff would happen in the afternoon, if I was out in the afternoon, I'd skip the weekly for that day. After the kids are home I'm guiding them with homework and getting supper on. After supper there's tidying up and making sure the last load of laundry made it at least to the dryer. Sometimes I have a fun project going, like coming up we will be making Ukrainian eggs for Christmas time (as soon as Halloween is over I bring the dyes out) and those kind of things I work on once the kids are home so they can join in or at least see me doing something for fun.

 

With a nearly 2 year old it's a little more chaotic in the morning and I get less done because she needs attention, but at 1PM everything STOPS and I get Stephanie down for her nap. Then I usually stay in bed with her and read. I've found that my husband will notice the dishwasher needs attention or that the laundry is piling up and take care of it, but he would never notice the floor needs washing , so I focus on my weekly stuff more and let him pick up my slack in the kitchen.


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#5 of 9 Old 09-27-2013, 11:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahl918 View Post
 

I'm afraid I don't have any insight, but I am curious to hear the replies because I think this may be me in a few years! You sound like me, tackling big projects immediately once the free time opens up. I'm sure once the routine becomes solidified those projects will be easier to compartmentalize so you aren't wiped at the end of the day! 

 

Thanks!!!! The biggest "project" I'm tackling right now is just getting the house in tip top shape! But I have a few other projects that are time sensitive due to weather and so I'm kinda doing things scatterbrained!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Springshowers View Post

Have you built any rest or you time into your schedule? It sounds like you need to. my kids are in school 2.5 hours each morning and at first I felt like I had so much free time and now it passes too fast. I love how many projects I am getting done though.

 

Rest yes! And I feel guilty about it, but I have some health issues (another reason DH doesn't want me to add work on top of everything else) and they force me to have a lay down/nap for an hour (give or take) a few afternoons a week. I am loving how clean and tidy everything is staying! And so much easier to do without the little shadows ;)

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mummoth View Post
 

What I did before my little one came was something like this: I'd get the kids off to school and then have breakfast (at the computer, hi!) Once I've got a coffee in me, I clean the kitchen, do laundry, etc. Anything that needs to happen daily, except making supper, happened before lunch. Around lunch I'd give myself a longish break. There's a few TV shows I watch online so that'd be 45 minutes. Once that was over, I'd pick a do-it-weekly job or a project. If I was out in the morning, the daily stuff would happen in the afternoon, if I was out in the afternoon, I'd skip the weekly for that day. After the kids are home I'm guiding them with homework and getting supper on. After supper there's tidying up and making sure the last load of laundry made it at least to the dryer. Sometimes I have a fun project going, like coming up we will be making Ukrainian eggs for Christmas time (as soon as Halloween is over I bring the dyes out) and those kind of things I work on once the kids are home so they can join in or at least see me doing something for fun.

 

With a nearly 2 year old it's a little more chaotic in the morning and I get less done because she needs attention, but at 1PM everything STOPS and I get Stephanie down for her nap. Then I usually stay in bed with her and read. I've found that my husband will notice the dishwasher needs attention or that the laundry is piling up and take care of it, but he would never notice the floor needs washing , so I focus on my weekly stuff more and let him pick up my slack in the kitchen.

 

My husband used to actually pick up way more slack around the house, some days (when I was really sick, before they figured out my health issues) he'd work and take care of most of the house. But the beginning of last year we made a pretty radical life/work change and so as much as he would like to help the majority of things fall on me. I was on my own last year with the kids and a house to get packed and ready to sell for 8 months. And while we're now back to living together, I still have to do a lot by myself. He regularly works 12+ hour days and rarely a day off. He actually had a bit more time off at the beginning of the year but work has picked up again. There are some days that he comes home from work and doesn't even eat dinner he's so tired. We knew this going into this new job/life, and I don't mind doing most of it. I just can't rely on him pitching in like he used to. He still will of course and there are some things that I do expect him to do to help me out. And I have a list that I add things to for him to do as he has the time... But so many times he's just another person to pick up after, as much as he tries to *not* be this. We just have different expectations of clean.

I just don't understand how it seems that I've gotten busier!? I even did afterschool care last year and didn't feel as run off my feet... There's a few other moms in the same boat this year and they are all saying the same thing!

I'm starting to see a dent in the house and I need to keep that momentum up! I don't need the house spotless but a few years ago I was heading fast towards hoarding and I need to constantly work at decluttering the house (I don't really buy much, we're gifted way too much!) to keep things at a manageable level! There's a few areas that I haven't dealt with since the move that are fast becoming a priority!

Anyone else in this boat?


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#6 of 9 Old 09-27-2013, 01:08 PM
 
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Oh I hear you on the tired husband. Some weeks are like that here, too. At those times it seems way more important to spend our few waking hours together on each other, rather than on the house.

 

I'm not a hoarder in the sense of having an emotional attachment to things that should be thrown away, but it's easy for stuff to pile up. The kids clothes alone seems to be at least a shopping bag or two per month. The way I stay (marginally) on top of that is to make use of a donation bin at the gas station down the road. Every so often I tell the kids there's a candy bar or some gum in it for them if they help me haul stuff down there. There were about 5 boxes that circulated around, not getting unpacked and occasionally becoming a storage place for new things, for months after we moved here. When I finally got fed up with that, I put one of the boxes on the kitchen table so it would have to be empty by supper time. I didn't deal with a box every day, but we were finally 100% un packed a few weeks after I had that idea. The bed is another good work surface with a built-in deadline.

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#7 of 9 Old 11-25-2013, 10:53 AM
 
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This is my first year being at home without the kids. At first I was working like crazy on various things all day and being more tired at the end of the day than I used to be with the kids home!

 

Now I'm under strict orders from dh to spend as much time relaxing as I can (I have leg problems). I still find plenty to do, but I generally get most cleaning out of the way in the morning and then have the rest of the day to craft, or bake, help out neighbours..whatever I feel like doing on that day.  I don't really have a set routine, just a general idea of what I want to get done each day.

 

And some days I just do nothing at all and enjoy the quiet :lol


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#8 of 9 Old 12-02-2013, 05:36 PM
 
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I volunteered a lot at the school during the 2 years before we went back to homeschooling. I loved it - I wasn't usually working with a group that included my own kids, I was helping kids who were struggling with math or writing. It was great to be able to give of myself to somebody I didn't share DNA with. 

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#9 of 9 Old 12-27-2013, 03:17 PM
 
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I'm sort of in the same boat. I homeschool and my kids are 11.5yr and 8. The 11.5 yr old is in a program similar to a charter school and is only homeschooled part of the time. Both kids take part in a co-op all day once a week. I have 2 volunteer jobs and plan to pick up a third. I also might get a part time job for fun.


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