Is society negative about stay at home moms? - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-03-2013, 08:50 AM
 
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ETA: I really wish we could shift any and all negativity we have for each other to where it really belongs. We need a strong middle class, family friendly employment options, affordable quality childcare, supportive BFing policies, compensation and career protection for parents who choose to stay home. 

Yes!! In many countries, the BFing angle wouldn't even enter into this discussion, because maternity leaves of 1 year or more are the norm. The culture just supports, in every way, a mother being with her child in the early months/years. I wonder how the choice to return to work after that period is viewed in those cultures.

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Old 11-03-2013, 10:04 AM
 
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ICM --

 

Your link does certainly highlight that the decision (and social impact) to SAH/WOH is something we bring our religion (for example, their note that the acceptability of women working outside the home in traditionally Catholic countries came later than in traditionally Protestant countries) and our culture to.

 

I do agree that that a SAHM today probably gets less of what I'll call "social strokes" (all the various feel-good, positive reinforcement that society provides for behavior that society finds beneficial) than she would have 20 or 30 years ago.  Those "social strokes" existed (in my view) largely to ensure that women maintained an "acceptable" place in society and as a concept go back to the Victorian era (the old "Angel in the Home") when anxiety about women's move outside the home (for example, the mass employment of women in factories, etc.) became important..

 

As generalized social anxiety around women leaving their place in the home and entering in the workforce has reduced, so has the need for society to provide such social strokes (outside certain religious and cultural subgroups for whom the woman in the home remains extremely important).

 

However, I still think that culturally, here in the US, being a married SAHM (provided you are not on welfare/benefits) is considered "aspirational" and "ideal".


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Old 11-03-2013, 11:03 AM
 
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Yes!! In many countries, the BFing angle wouldn't even enter into this discussion, because maternity leaves of 1 year or more are the norm. The culture just supports, in every way, a mother being with her child in the early months/years. I wonder how the choice to return to work after that period is viewed in those cultures.

 

I'm in Canada where women who work outside the home get 50 weeks of parental leave. The attitude in my area is almost that you don't have a choice. I was asked when I'm going back to work, not if, when my daughter was approaching the one year mark. When you tell them you aren't going back (there's nothing to go back to, I've been a SAHM since my 11 year old was born!) you get a sort of weird angry vibe and often they rapidly shut the conversation down and get away from you ASAP. 


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Old 11-03-2013, 11:58 AM
 
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Out of curiosity, in Canada is there perceived to be greater discrimination in the hiring process given that women are provided with such a lengthy leave?


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Old 11-03-2013, 12:17 PM
 
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Actually, here in Canada, a working person who has paid into the Employment Insurance program and who gives birth can take up to 15 weeks leave (at 55% of their pay from the previous year). This is regardless of them choosing to parent that child or not. In addition, anyone who becomes a parent (and has paid into EI) can take up to 35 weeks of leave (again, at a percentage of their wage, unless their employer tops it up), regardless of their child being theirs from birth or adopted. In addition, this 35 week parental leave can be split by up to two parents. It's different in Québec, but I don't know those details.
So! In my case, I'm taking 15 weeks maternity, then 16 weeks of parental, all at 55% of my previous wage; then, my DP will be home with our baby for the remaining 19 weeks, 10 weeks of which her employer will be topping up the 55% EI wage to almost 95% of her full wage. She's got a better union contract than me! Which is why we decided to split it like this.
The nice thing about this system is that it focuses on supporting parents overall, not just women. I've worked with men whose partners are SAHP, in which case they are able to choose to take the full 35 weeks for themselves... If they can afford it, that is. Personally, I've been paying into the system since I was 15 years old, and while it's not perfect, I'm so glad we have it.

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Old 11-03-2013, 12:55 PM
 
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Buzzbuzz~ I have no idea because I haven't been in the workforce since I've been a parent. I've done after school care but I didn't qualify for maternity leave since I didn't contribute to it. 

 

Granite~ It is a good system... so good, along with subsidized childcare and/or universal childcare payments, that a lot of people don't seem to understand that the parents still have a choice.


~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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Old 11-03-2013, 12:57 PM
 
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That's interesting.  I always thought that lengthy maternity leaves would serious impede the hiring and promotion of women unless men were basically *required* to take a comparable leave.

 

For example, in my office here in the states men can take parental leave, but none of them ever actually do beyond maybe a week.  Some of them even are back at work the next day.  Shifting the culture on that is going to be a big one.


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Old 11-03-2013, 01:01 PM
 
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One of the tragic things common to most women, and moms in particular, is a crushing sense of inadequacy and guilt. You can't win, can you? Why force each other to lose?

Actually,  as an sahm, i dont feel a sense of inadequacy or guilt.

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Old 11-03-2013, 01:28 PM
 
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That's interesting.  I always thought that lengthy maternity leaves would serious impede the hiring and promotion of women unless men were basically *required* to take a comparable leave.

 

For example, in my office here in the states men can take parental leave, but none of them ever actually do beyond maybe a week.  Some of them even are back at work the next day.  Shifting the culture on that is going to be a big one.

 

Oh, there's definitely a bias against women when it comes to hiring and promotion, though I don't know how much maternity leave specifically contributes to that. I think there is an assumption that when there are children to care for, the mom is the one who will take time off for flus or appointments. A mom is seen as generally less reliable than other people.

 

On the flip-side, my husband found that having kids gave him an edge in getting hired for jobs. We got together when our eldest kids were 4 and 7 years old. He had just moved to the area and had a bunch of odd jobs like pizza delivery and truck swamping. However, when he moved in with us and subsequently started mentioning his family in interviews, he found he started getting second interviews and pretty quickly hired for the job he's had for the last 4 years. He was seen as more reliable because of us.


~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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Old 11-03-2013, 02:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am still here, even with the drama!

I agree with those who said that there SAHMs are very possibly considered ideal for young kids. But now that my kids go to school, I'm not finding that to be the case anymore. I mainly get people asking why I bother staying at home when my kids are in school, and the underlying concern seems to be that I could be more productive and that I have a responsibility to financially provide at this point.

I still stay at home for a lot of reasons. For one thing, I can get about everything done when I'm home alone, and then all of our evening and weekend time is available as family time rather than work time. And while my kids are at school much of the time, they still are with me more than they would be if I were working, and as I said before I am more available to them when they are here, so I feel like we have more time to communicate. That is very important especially for the older one, who is a pre-teen now. I like the flexibility of being here when school is off for whatever reason, including surprise snow days, and when they're sick, and of course for all of winter and spring and summer vacations.

And I do try to cook from scratch with whole foods when my health is good. I have a chronic health issue, and that's probably a factor for me to stay at home as well. I feel better when I'm not too busy and I'd be sick pretty often if I had to work outside the home plus do everything I do at home.

I don't have any negative feelings about moms who work outside the home. I feel like we're all doing the best we can. And I have friends who work who are changing people's lives for the better in their jobs. If my job had been like that, I might have felt more of an urge to stick with it. I just find that staying at home, even with kids who are in school, works best for me and my family, but that I'm no longer getting a positive response about it.
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Old 11-03-2013, 02:16 PM
 
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That's interesting! My marriage is basically the most equitable one I know in terms of time spent on childcare and home management. I also earn 4/5 of the total household income.

I can pretty much guarantee you that none of the men I work with who have a similar family economic breakdown spend the amount of time I do on childcare/housework. I do wonder where the tipping point is. If I just earned twice what my husband does would our breakdown be more traditional?

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Old 11-03-2013, 02:16 PM
 
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Actually,  as an sahm, i dont feel a sense of inadequacy or guilt.


I never did either. I knew what I was doing was best for my family and for myself. :)


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Old 11-03-2013, 04:55 PM
 
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MaggieLC and contactmaya -

 

It's awesome that you don't feel inadequate or guilty. This is as it should be, right? Really I was reflecting on the previous back and forth over having "legit" enough things to do at home to "justify" not working, or vice versa, etc. I just don't like it when women hate on each other like that.

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Old 11-03-2013, 04:58 PM
 
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I stay at home because I want to and because I think it's good for our kids.  That's it.  Yet the general attitude here seems to be that I should feel bad about that because I don't have a good enough reason.  I hate the way our culture has forced women into feeling bad about being mothers and what comes natural to them.  You feel judged to the point of having to explain that you were forced to stay at home, in the same way I feel judged about having more than 2 children, (these would be terrible choices otherwise??), so it's a good thing we have an explanation right? ("I had to because of my finances!"/"The pregnancy was a surprise"!)  Screw it.  I had 4 kids because I wanted to. 

 

Think about it, if it were something that our culture viewed in a positive light (for example breastfeeding) we wouldn't act this way.  "I was forced to breastfeed because I can't afford formula!".  We would never say that.  We would say how blessed we are to be able to breastfeed and that we love it!  In fact if anyone has to use formula, they feel the need to explain themselves in detail as to why that had to use it(they shouldn't have to, but they do), because they know it's not the optimal choice (strictly nutritionally speaking).  I have older friends who said they had to fight to breastfeed because they were made to feel bad about not using formula (the era when formula was thought to be better).

 

WE CAN'T WIN.



Reading this thread has actually opened up a discussion between the hubby and myself on ways I could make money, and still be around our little lovebug all day. It's really more of a Catch-22 for us right now-- I want to stay home with her, but we could really use more money, I can't find work outside the home, we can't afford to pay the grandparents to care for her while I work, and we'll just have to figure out an outside-the-box solution to create the life we dream of together :-) Lots of prayer and meditation until we arrive at an answer/ solution to our current conundrum.

My comment about the surprise pregnancy was in regard to a PP who suggested pregnant low-income women should consider abortion. I felt the need to defend myself because of my personal convictions on the matter, and it stings to think someone could tell me for all intents and purposes that my beautiful daughter doesn't deserve to exist because I was in poverty at the time. There were also several PPs who commented on the idea of children being something you can "afford" with various opinions on the matter. Money shouldn't be the ruling force in the world. Money shouldn't keep awesome parents from experiencing the divine gift of children. More money doesn't mean someone is better-equipped to raise a family. Some of the most amazing parents I know are on public assistance. I'd be happy to see any one of these parents welcome another beautiful soul into this world.

No, we can't win. Back to the idea of semantics brought up by some PPs, I'd like to say that using the word "win" makes it sound like some kind of competition! Ladies, we are the world's only 51% minority. It's time we banded together in support. I'm left scratching my head, "Why am I (and other posters) feeling the need to defend myself (ourselves)? Why all the drama?" Nobody would judge a man for *not* taking leave when his child was born. Yes, we've gone off-topic a bit on this thread. I don't think it's possible to discuss society's feelings toward SAHMs without bringing in a plethora of other related issues. We don't live in a vacuum.

But wow, what deeper issues have been raised, even with all the drama! I want to thank all of you who've posted so far, because you've really helped me see things differently, and made me pause to reconsider mine & my husband's priorities for our family.


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Old 11-03-2013, 05:26 PM
 
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ICM --

 

Your link does certainly highlight that the decision (and social impact) to SAH/WOH is something we bring our religion (for example, their note that the acceptability of women working outside the home in traditionally Catholic countries came later than in traditionally Protestant countries) and our culture to.

 

Yea. The article I posted is pretty cool because it breaks down studies about societal views about married (a limitation!) women in the work force and even breaks it down in terms of views pre and post-preschool aged child. It's exactly what we've been talking about. 

 

I read it (but didn't go through it with a fine toothed comb so I encourage everyone to read it for themselves) but it appears that in many "Westernized" countries the general view about SAHMs is still favorable to that of WOHMs - but less so when the child is over preschool. So, according to the research -- the answer to the OP is "no". 


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Old 11-03-2013, 05:31 PM
 
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Out of curiosity, in Canada is there perceived to be greater discrimination in the hiring process given that women are provided with such a lengthy leave?

I wondered that when we lived in Germany. I wonder if a more general interest in the welfare of families prevents some of the discrimination that we Americans assume would take place. I did know a small business owner who lamented over the burden of employing a child-bearing aged woman but that person still chose to not discriminate. I imagine there are some pretty good anti-discrimination laws. 


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Old 11-03-2013, 05:34 PM
 
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Reading this thread has actually opened up a discussion between the hubby and myself on ways I could make money, and still be around our little lovebug all day. It's really more of a Catch-22 for us right now-- I want to stay home with her, but we could really use more money, I can't find work outside the home, we can't afford to pay the grandparents to care for her while I work, and we'll just have to figure out an outside-the-box solution to create the life we dream of together :-) Lots of prayer and meditation until we arrive at an answer/ solution to our current conundrum.

My comment about the surprise pregnancy was in regard to a PP who suggested pregnant low-income women should consider abortion. I felt the need to defend myself because of my personal convictions on the matter, and it stings to think someone could tell me for all intents and purposes that my beautiful daughter doesn't deserve to exist because I was in poverty at the time. There were also several PPs who commented on the idea of children being something you can "afford" with various opinions on the matter. Money shouldn't be the ruling force in the world. Money shouldn't keep awesome parents from experiencing the divine gift of children. More money doesn't mean someone is better-equipped to raise a family. Some of the most amazing parents I know are on public assistance. I'd be happy to see any one of these parents welcome another beautiful soul into this world.

No, we can't win. Back to the idea of semantics brought up by some PPs, I'd like to say that using the word "win" makes it sound like some kind of competition! Ladies, we are the world's only 51% minority. It's time we banded together in support. I'm left scratching my head, "Why am I (and other posters) feeling the need to defend myself (ourselves)? Why all the drama?" Nobody would judge a man for *not* taking leave when his child was born. Yes, we've gone off-topic a bit on this thread. I don't think it's possible to discuss society's feelings toward SAHMs without bringing in a plethora of other related issues. We don't live in a vacuum.

But wow, what deeper issues have been raised, even with all the drama! I want to thank all of you who've posted so far, because you've really helped me see things differently, and made me pause to reconsider mine & my husband's priorities for our family.

I'm sorry there was confusion with the bolded, I don't remember your post mentioning a surprise pregnancy.  I was actually referring to my personal situation of telling people that my pregnancy was a surprise because they made me feel so guilty for having more, when in reality, it was a planned pregnancy.  I had to defend myself when I really wanted to just shout from the rooftops that I was overjoyed to be having a 4th baby!  I'm 100% pro-life, for the record. 


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Old 11-03-2013, 06:30 PM
 
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Random thoughts:

 

--I work part-time (2-3 days/week) and have gotten judgment from both sides. Some of the "I can't believe you can leave your kids all day!" variety and some of the "wow, I can't believe you took such a big step back in your career!" variety. I am really happy with my work and family life and our kids are thriving. Because of that these comments don't particularly bother me. I think they tend to communicate more about the person saying them than they do me.

 

--I think on a more global level, there is probably more social acceptance of SAHMs than full-time working moms assuming we're talking about women who have money. For lower income women (especially those on government assistance), I definitely think there is a LOT of judgment re: staying at home.

 

--I find some of the comments here pretty sexist and hetero-normative. There is a lot of judgment for women who opt to stay in the work force full-time following children that is not directed at men. Why are women expected to "shelve" their independent selves following parenthood in a way men would never be expected to? I think of Marissa Mayer--she caught SO much crap for having a high profile job and an infant when that vitriol never would have been directed at a man in her same position. And while yes, only mothers can breastfeed, many working women are able to BF successfully long term (not to mention that not every family even has a mother).

 

--I am puzzled that some genuinely don't see how their comments can be construed as hurtful or offensive. When you say "having a stay at home mother is a birthright," you are communicating that any mother who makes another choice is denying their children of something necessary for their own selfishness. That may be your opinion (while I would disagree, I certainly respect your right to feel that way), but at least acknowledge how it could potentially offend.

 

There seems to be a lot of "I wouldn't judge another mama for making the choices best for her family..." followed by pretty pointed judgment here.

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Old 11-03-2013, 11:13 PM
 
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Hi All!

I'm briefly locking this thread for Moderator review, I will unlock ASAP.

Hoping we can all remember that ALL parent makes choices that work or have to work for their families. One is neither more right than the other, it's simply what's right for you. Please also remember that this is the internet and we lose tone and body language when communicating which is a large part of conversation. Sometimes things can be read in multiple different ways and taken as such.

Please also remember the User Agreement (link can be found in my signature) when posting as well as each forums guidelines. I realize this was a featured thread on the front page, however every forum does have a different vibe. Everyone is again welcome in the different fora, we simply ask that we keep an understanding of the different boards.

We are all great parents, we wouldn't be here discussing our children and parenting choices if we weren't.

I'll be back tomorrow to finish Mod review and reopen the thread smile.gif

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Old 11-04-2013, 12:03 PM
 
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Alright, I've unlocked the thread following moderator review. 

 

Please remember the notes I made on my last post above. While there has been a few posts with some more heated discussions, we need to remember that we lose tone and body language and so some things that may come across as rude or judgmental to you will not to another person. They may not have been meant to come across that way as the poster was typing. It is better to either ask for clarification in a polite way or to just ignore statements that are obviously trying to stir up trouble. While I will be sending out a few reminders in a minute, I am very happy that the last few pages followed suit of the first few pages in being fairly respectful. 

Yes this is the SAHPing forum and I ask that we try and respect that and the forum guidelines (http://www.mothering.com/community/a/stay-at-home-parenting-forum-guidelines) HOWEVER that doesn't mean that WOHP's can't be included in the conversation and in the discussion. It's hard to have a conversation like this without mentioning other options/choices/requirements on other parents and being respectful around that as well. All parents will make choices or decisions than you, it doesn't make it wrong, it just may not be right for you.

 

As always please feel free to PM me (delightedbutterfly) or flag a post if there is any question on a post. 

 

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Old 11-04-2013, 12:42 PM
 
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ICM:

 

Evidently, its not so good in Germany:

 

http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/unequal-opportunities-german-women-disappointed-by-job-discrimination-act-a-600004.html

 

I believe I remember reading at some point that the German educational step up virtually ends up requiring that mothers not be more than part-time workers, though how true and accurate that is I'm not sure.   I will say that they have a particularly eloquent insult that can be used for WOHMs:  rabenmutter.


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Old 11-04-2013, 03:06 PM
 
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rabenmutter=bad mother?

Wow!

My thoughts: If we had better family leave policies in this country, maybe we would have less issues. Parents should be able to stay home with infants (for at least a year, if desired) and be able to return to their former jobs, if desired.

Personally, I think society is pretty negative towards WOHM's with toddlers/infants. Society also tends to harbor hostilities towards SAHM's with school-age or older kids. I honestly don't know of ANYONE IRL who managed to stay at home with small children and then transition into a great career as soon as the kids started school. Unfortunately, this seems to be society's expectation.


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Old 11-04-2013, 08:24 PM
 
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I believe I remember reading at some point that the German educational step up virtually ends up requiring that mothers not be more than part-time workers, though how true and accurate that is I'm not sure.   I will say that they have a particularly eloquent insult that can be used for WOHMs:  rabenmutter.

In double checking my read on the word "rabenmutter", which I have never heard, I found this. Interesting because the small office I was referring to was a law office. http://cwsl.edu/content/journals/Slotkin.pdf

 

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My thoughts: If we had better family leave policies in this country, maybe we would have less issues. Parents should be able to stay home with infants (for at least a year, if desired) and be able to return to their former jobs, if desired.
 
Yes, so true. I think there is a lot mis-understood when we try to evaluate another parent's choice. I mean, even when someone tells us personally why they chose what they did -- that may not even be the whole picture. 
 
Delighted.... I'm sorry if my posts were contributing to the drama. And to anyone I bummed out in wanting to join the discussion the way that I did. I still think it's good to be able to point out when something we or an online peer says something we think may offend...but I really should have asked for more clarity first. Because, you're right -- even when we are speaking for ourselves, we're only sharing part of the story and then, of course, so much is lost in the online format. 
 
Before DB even posted to the thread, I did read the guidelines. I was pleased to find that this is NOT the SAHM forum, btw. This is the SAHP forum!  There's some progress right there.  
 
I do agree wholeheartedly that it is a terrible shame that women who choose to work out of the home are not given the same treatment as fathers. We do have the concept of SAHD down pretty well in the communities I live in (and I know a bunch!) but we don't really talk about "WOHDs". Still some room for improvement. 
 
 

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Old 11-04-2013, 08:38 PM
 
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I was pleased to find that this is NOT the SAHM forum, btw. This is the SAHP forum! There's some progress right there.

Yes, I thought so too, but then I saw that it's a subforum of "Parenting" (again, great!), which is a subforum of ... "Mom." D'oh! lol.gifheadscratch.gif

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Old 11-04-2013, 08:41 PM
 
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Yes, I thought so too, but then I saw that it's a subforum of "Parenting" (again, great!), which is a subforum of ... "Mom." D'oh! lol.gifheadscratch.gif

Ah...so close!  


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Old 11-06-2013, 03:04 PM
 
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A couple thoughts I've had...

From my experience with Canadian maternity leave, there doesn't seem to be problem returning to work or finding a job after mat leave or while pregnant. I'm sure it may occur in some capacity but issues with returning to work seem to be mostly childcare related.

Another thought though is one that I have found... It is harder to go back to work when you've been removed for some time. I went back after my first to my old job and so much had changed, and yet the same drama was happening. The first week back I was pulled into a meeting to discuss problems that had been occurring and help find solutions. Except I hadn't know anything about them, I had a good report with both upper staff and lower staff and was able to bridge the communication gap is why I think I was brought in but it was a shock!

I look every so often at going back and it's hard for me to fathom going back to a job but it's mainly because it would be something different than before. I can only imagine trying to go back to a career you loved after 4-5 years out of it and basically having to start over again but yet not being "new" to the job.

I really think the world need strong working parent models and strong stay at home models. Not every child needs both but I think children can be exposed to a variety of models through various relationships. I know it was great to have my mom home throughout my childhood. I do wish she would have worked very part time when we were older though because it would have been good for *her*. But I also had friends whose parents both worked full time and friends who's parents worked part time or owned their own business' and had more flexibility... I don't think one or another has a better outcome. I just wish all parents were treated with the same respect in their choices.

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Old 11-07-2013, 02:18 PM
 
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A couple thoughts I've had...

From my experience with Canadian maternity leave, there doesn't seem to be problem returning to work or finding a job after mat leave or while pregnant. I'm sure it may occur in some capacity but issues with returning to work seem to be mostly childcare related.

Another thought though is one that I have found... It is harder to go back to work when you've been removed for some time. I went back after my first to my old job and so much had changed, and yet the same drama was happening. The first week back I was pulled into a meeting to discuss problems that had been occurring and help find solutions. Except I hadn't know anything about them, I had a good report with both upper staff and lower staff and was able to bridge the communication gap is why I think I was brought in but it was a shock!

I look every so often at going back and it's hard for me to fathom going back to a job but it's mainly because it would be something different than before. I can only imagine trying to go back to a career you loved after 4-5 years out of it and basically having to start over again but yet not being "new" to the job.

I really think the world need strong working parent models and strong stay at home models. Not every child needs both but I think children can be exposed to a variety of models through various relationships. I know it was great to have my mom home throughout my childhood. I do wish she would have worked very part time when we were older though because it would have been good for *her*. But I also had friends whose parents both worked full time and friends who's parents worked part time or owned their own business' and had more flexibility... I don't think one or another has a better outcome. I just wish all parents were treated with the same respect in their choices.

I like how you put this.

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Old 11-07-2013, 03:25 PM
 
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My youngest has the chicken pox right now and I was looking at very part time work/babysitting jobs Tuesday while waiting to pick up my older daughter from school. I'd love to bring in a *little* bit extra. Not as a need but to fund some of the wants a little easier. And because I'm a bit bored at times.

But then I look today and think about how hard it would have been to have the little one off school and needy of my attention and I've had the older one home too in case she has it and is contagious and I know that any job I did have would have to come with very flexible hours/sick days/vacation because of what our family needs at the moment.

I know some mentioned having the flexibility at their work and I'm in awe of that. I think it's wonderful! My working experience was the opposite (I worked with strep, fever, colds and pink eye before) and I think that combined with one of our family owning a large daycare center made staying at home as much as possible our choice. I think I felt like people looked down on me not going back because I made good money, I had lots of affordable or free daycare options and I had a benefits package and staying home meant a lot of sacrifices for us as a family. But looking back now, it taught us so much and it was good for us as a family for various personal reasons.

I can definitely see how others personal situations would benefit from part time work, no work, full time work too. I know that all sides will always have some negative aspect to it.

But it's funny.. Where we used to live was very negative to SAHP's but was more hippyish and also expensive compared to wages. Here it's more traditional 50's family and while prices are about the same wages are higher but it's more negative towards SAHMoms... I know a bunch of SAHM's with all kids in school here whereas back home most of my parent friends worked and rarely would you see a SAHP who didn't work while their kids were in school. So I think geography might have something to do with it as well.

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Old 11-24-2013, 07:49 AM
 
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To be honest..no idea. I have received nothing but love and support about any choices I make and I give nothing but love and support for any choices someone else makes even if I don't agree. I know there are individuals who are against it but I have never experienced negativity. I think it has more to do with the people you choose to be around.


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Old 11-24-2013, 08:21 AM
 
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To be honest..no idea. I have received nothing but love and support about any choices I make and I give nothing but love and support for any choices someone else makes even if I don't agree. I know there are individuals who are against it but I have never experienced negativity. I think it has more to do with the people you choose to be around.

Yes, this is me too. I sympathize with people who are stuck with a community that includes people who can't embrace a wide range of choices but, in my experience, I get what I give, for the most part.  I find that if I seek understanding and connection with people they do the same with me. A result is that we both learn from each other. 


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