How many hours are you alone with your children each day? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 27 Old 10-25-2013, 07:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The littler they are, the more time we were alone together. As they've gotten older, they've been in school, and/or we've been out and about more of the time.

But there were times I'd be home alone with a baby 8 hours many days each week.

Now it's just me and the younger one sometimes, when she isn't in preschool. Maybe 6 hours two or three times a week. No, even then we spend a good part of our time at the park/library/museum/etc. I guess not much anymore.

So in addition to saying how much you're home alone with your kids, maybe say how old they are, and whether they go to school or you homeschool.
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#2 of 27 Old 10-25-2013, 11:53 AM
 
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I'm usually alone with my 2.5 year old and 2 month old 9-10 hours a day, 5 days a week. We will be doing homeschool.


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#3 of 27 Old 10-26-2013, 02:02 PM
 
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We homeschool. 3.5 & 5.5 years old.

This is my first year of "major" time apart from my oldest.

My oldest takes classes so we are apart 4 hours a week over the course of 3 days. There are weeks he skips his one hour class once or twice a week. Plus he took soccer in the evening for 1 hour twice a week for 8 weeks...but his father took him.

My little one and I are seldom apart. This is by circumstance not design. Because of my son's class, my daughter and I get 4 hours of one on one time together to do preschool.

We go to homeschool group 2x per month each time is 4-5 hours. We each play with friends.
We are out of the house 2 days a week (not including one of his class which is three buildings down the street).
And as a family we go out about 2-3 Saturdays per month.

Otherwise, I am home with them for 9-11 hours a days 5 days a week (on rare occasion on a weekend day). Once my spouse comes home I get 1 hour alone time but we are still in the same building.
On the weekends we are all together...if we are granted knowledge of when my motherinlaw visits my sisterinlaw, he takes the kids for about 4-5 hours 6-8 times a year including thanksgiving and Christmas.

Once or twice a year I take a couple of hours to myself...this year I'm talking about cloth diapers.

But we bedshare...so I am within sight, hearing (she is in the other room) or touching distance of my little one about 20-22 hrs a day.

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#4 of 27 Old 10-26-2013, 03:02 PM
 
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12 hours a day 5 days a week, unless their friends come over (neighbors). Aged 7, 4, 9 mos, homeschooling. Wed and Sun dad's home and we go to church/scouts, and I go shopping without them.

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#5 of 27 Old 10-26-2013, 05:22 PM
 
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When my children (twins) were babies and toddlers, I was home with them alone 15hours/day 7/days week.  My husband worked 12 hours/day and had a commute.  We didn't leave the house very often but I had therapists in the home 4-5 days/week for 1-2 hours.  In hind site...I should have hired help.  I was overwhelmed.

 

For the past three years they have been in school so I was alone with them from 4:00am (when my husband left) until 8:00am and then from 3:15 - 6:15 when he arrived home.  Of course, there were times we were out of the house for lessons, etc.  I was home all alone (or out doing errands) ~7 hours/day on week days.

 

This year, they are age 9, and we are homeschooling.  My husband is currently working 5-6 days/week and is home by 6:00.  The children go to a teacher's house once a week from 8:30-2:30 and book club 1x/wk for 2 hours.  They also have art, music, tennis and drama outside the home, but not every day.

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#6 of 27 Old 10-26-2013, 07:21 PM
 
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My children are 3.5yo and 11mo. I am their primary carer 11 hours a day for 4 days a week. I'm not at home alone with them the whole time though. We go out to the park or playgrounds and my 3.5yo often finds someone to play with there. Or we visit friends or they visit us. Or my parents visit or we go to their place.

One day a week my 3.5yo does a 45min ballet class and, on Sundays, she has Sunday school which is also probably about 45mins. I not in the room for either of those. But I still have the 11mo with me.

On DH's days off he will usually take the 3.5yo out for a few hours morning and afternoon and I will be alone with the 11mo.

ETA - we don't intend to homeschool. Next year Miss3.5 will be going to kindy. Five days/fortnight, 6hr days.

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#7 of 27 Old 10-29-2013, 08:34 AM
 
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My girls are 2 and 4. The 4 year old is in preschool for 9 hours a week (3 hours MWF). DH is gone for about 13-14 hours a day. I work weekends. We have play dates a lot.
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#8 of 27 Old 10-29-2013, 03:53 PM
 
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Do you mean one-on-one time, or just time home with the kid(s) but without your partner being home? I'm assuming the latter.

My 9yo DS is in school, and I'm home alone with him (well, with his sister with us) for about 3 hours a day on weekdays.

My 5yo DD is in half-day kindergarten, and I'm alone with her (either by herself or with big bro with us) for about 6 hours per day on weekdays.

On weekends, it varies. DH often goes for a long run both weekend days, so I'm home with the kids for 2-3 hours, but I'll often go do my own thing for a few hours on weekends too, or we'll spend the whole weekend doing family stuff together, or DH or I will go away for a weekend with friends -- it just varies. We're mostly all together on weekends.

And on weekdays, of course we're not necessarily *home* for that entire time. We go to museums, parks, the beach, etc., but we do spend quite a bit of time at home too.

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#9 of 27 Old 10-29-2013, 10:42 PM
 
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Way too much? Sorry, just bitter about hubby traveling so much lately. For the past week, I've been alone with my son pretty much 24/7, minus occasional visits with friends or family, and going to work 4 hours a week (ds comes to work with me - but we're not technically "alone" there).

 

If dh is not traveling, I'd say about 10 hours/day on average for a week day. Typically not alone with him at all on weekends, as dh (nearly) never has to travel over weekends.

 

Because I'm a math nerd - I calculate that, as an average, I'm alone with ds approximately 7.9 hours/day, considering that, over the course of the year, dh is traveling about half the time. If we're looking strictly at weekdays, though, the average is about 17 hours/day.

 

Oh, and DS is one. And I guess I haven't factored in library visits and the like, but frankly, we don't get out of the house nearly as much as would be good for us.


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#10 of 27 Old 11-04-2013, 11:35 AM
 
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Goodness it varies so much...

It can be none if DH isn't working (lately a lot!)

If he's working a typical day than 5 with the odd day of errands/afterschool activites thrown in

If he's working away from home it can be 17 hours a day for 2 weeks plus at a time with the odd errand or afterschool activity. Of course this is new as DD2 just went to school this year. Previously it would be a full 24 hours a day. 

Last year I did 7.5 months minus 11 days (broken up into two chunks) of time 24/7 with the kids one in school and one at home full time...


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#11 of 27 Old 11-04-2013, 08:46 PM
 
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Hmm. About 9-10 hours a day.


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#12 of 27 Old 11-04-2013, 08:46 PM
 
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If you are talking "the day," like when it's light out and you are counting "alone with" meaning I'm the only parent, on DH's "on" weeks (7 days straight), it is usually 12 hours w/ almost 2-year-old DS. On "off weeks" we share parenting a lot more. I do all nighttime stuff. Those "on" weeks can be really rough, especially if DH is working nights (we try to be quiet while he is sleeping and we only see him for 2 hours those days). 

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#13 of 27 Old 11-06-2013, 10:44 AM
 
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Currently about 10-11 hours a day except the two days of preschool. Love having those 5 hours of quiet!
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#14 of 27 Old 11-22-2013, 12:13 PM
 
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I'm home alone with the little one about 9-10 hours on M-F; 6 hours on T-Th, when he has preschool; and 12-13 on W when my husband goes to choir practice. My older son is with us after he gets home from school, so I'm alone with the two of them about 2-3 hours most days, and about 5 hours on choir nights.

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#15 of 27 Old 11-24-2013, 06:46 AM
 
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When my husband works- from the time they wake up until 7 pm. I home school and they are 4 and 7. But my husband works the weirdest schedule so it's not like that all the time and it will vary month to month


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#16 of 27 Old 11-26-2013, 06:15 PM
 
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Not to highjack this thread, but how do you mamas do it without burning out?? I love DS with all my heart, but after 6 or 7 hrs alone with him, I'm so ready for a break! I guess I'm just feeling really burnt out lately- 10 weeks pregnant and DH was out of the country for 3 weeks- but I would love any insight on how to make it through the day alone with your kiddos without feeling like you need a very strong drink at the end.

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#17 of 27 Old 11-26-2013, 06:51 PM
 
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Gitanamama, I have two things which help immensely:
1 - leave the house. Go places and socialize. Time flies when you're among people.
2 - involve kids in doing chores. I throw baby on my back and have toddler miss help me with laundry/food prep/tidying up. Sure, everything takes 5 times as long but she's occupied, work is getting done, and time goes by faster. Also she's learning good skills and habits.

As for us, I'm alone about 8 hours each weekday with the kids but I also take them out multiple times a week.
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#18 of 27 Old 11-26-2013, 07:39 PM
 
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Gitanamama...I notice you are ten weeks pregnant.

For me...protein protein protein.
I also had to a nap everyday. Every. Single. Day.
How did I do it?
I baby proofed the bedroom like crazy, changed diaper, sippycup of water, plenty of books, some toys, and a FIRM understanding that mama must nap.
In my first trimester I was too tired to leave the house more than necessary and the third I was too...lumpy.

After that...sigh...I dunno...cookies?

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#19 of 27 Old 11-27-2013, 02:43 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gitanamama View Post

Not to highjack this thread, but how do you mamas do it without burning out?? I love DS with all my heart, but after 6 or 7 hrs alone with him, I'm so ready for a break! I guess I'm just feeling really burnt out lately- 10 weeks pregnant and DH was out of the country for 3 weeks- but I would love any insight on how to make it through the day alone with your kiddos without feeling like you need a very strong drink at the end.

Have a me day when I can. If husbands work schedual allows it he takes them out and I am all by myself for 8 hours. Or I will go by myself and go out for an hour or two. Other things is getting out of the house with them as much as possible


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#20 of 27 Old 11-29-2013, 12:51 PM
 
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The only time i am not with them is when they are at  school. My 22mth old is with me 24/7

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#21 of 27 Old 11-29-2013, 01:04 PM
 
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It has totally depended on work schedules and other stuff over the years. Anywhere from none to 16. Currently they go to grandma's for a couple of hours a day.


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#22 of 27 Old 11-30-2013, 10:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gitanamama View Post

Not to highjack this thread, but how do you mamas do it without burning out?? I love DS with all my heart, but after 6 or 7 hrs alone with him, I'm so ready for a break! I guess I'm just feeling really burnt out lately- 10 weeks pregnant and DH was out of the country for 3 weeks- but I would love any insight on how to make it through the day alone with your kiddos without feeling like you need a very strong drink at the end.

 

Nobody said I wasn't loony tunes! :lol

 

I agree with the PP who said get out of the house. I started occasionally attending breastfeeding support meetings just to interact with other human beings, even though I didn't need any help. Getting out is/was HARD sometimes, but it makes me feel better. Sometimes I go on walks with another mom friend. I'm blessed to have a great mommy support group run through a local store that has given me a place to go and friends to hang out with.

 

When DS was young, I'd go to my parents sometimes when dh was out of town. But it quickly got annoying dragging all of his stuff over there and being away from home. Honestly, I never thought I could make it through dh being gone so much. But when you have no other choice but to do something, you do it. Somehow, you pull the strength you need out of yourself. But the more family/friend support you can muster, the easier it will be.


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#23 of 27 Old 12-01-2013, 06:29 AM
 
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Naps, kids doing their own activity, all of us doing our thing but in the same space...right now im online, ds1 is playing the keyboard, ds2 is playing with a dollhouse and dd1 is playing with ds2 playing with dollhouse....

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#24 of 27 Old 12-01-2013, 10:53 AM
 
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That sounds like heaven contactmaya! I guess I struggle because DS almost never does his own thing. He won't play with toys on his own and his limit for painting, drawing is about 10 minutes. He gave up naps before he turned 2, so I don't really have any "off" time during the day- he's constantly by my side, needing engagement. I try to include him in all my chores and projects, but sometimes my brain just needs a break from the toddler chatter and endless questions. smile.gif
Thanks for all the suggestions on staying sane- I think I'll try getting out of the house more. It's a little tricky in the winter since the park isn't an option- we're both pretty bored with the library and children's museum, which are our usual cold weather spots. But I'll do some brainstorming on winter "field trips"!

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#25 of 27 Old 12-14-2013, 12:30 PM
 
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around 9-10 hours per day

I have been trying to go to 3-4 different mom/baby groups that meet in cafes in my area so that 3 out of 5 weekdays I am getting out and into the city center to talk with other adults.

It's not easy especially on public transportation to get around in the snow, with a 2 month old baby and working that out with shuttling 8 and 10 year old boys to their activities part of the time, but it's so important to have adults to talk to and I can't just rely on my DF during evening/weekends.  He's a pretty quiet introvert anyways, so that would be impossible that I could get all my adult interaction needs met with just him.  I have about 3 close girlfriends in this city + a growing number (4+) of girlfriend aquaintences that may turn into real friends.  I don't need tons of friends that I see and spend time with, but I need at least a couple quality ones, that are on the same wavelength as I am about actually making time for one another just to spend quality time (with kids or not) and doing for one another when needs arise, etc....

 

Sometimes it goes a couple of weeks, or even four weeks before I realize I haven't seen any of my close friends in awhile, and I start to go nuts!  At least the local groups are better than nothing during those periods when schedules aren't aligning with my inner circle, so that I don't lose my mind.


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#26 of 27 Old 12-14-2013, 12:32 PM
 
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gitanamama have you looked into what your community has to offer in terms of weekly events for families?  There are quite a few in my area, and I'm not near a particularly big city (about 200,000 people) or anything.  There is some sort of free happening for parents to bring children in one neighborhood or another in this area nearly every day of the week, that I know of.

Another idea:  the swimming hall?  
What about a toddler parent exercise class?


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#27 of 27 Old 12-22-2013, 08:55 PM
 
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For my older to that are in school about 2 hrs in am and 5/6 in afternoon more during weekend. Then for my youngest 6 in am and 4 in after noon only cause he have preschool 2.5 hrs 4 days wk

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