How do you feel about being financially dependent? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 49 Old 12-09-2013, 12:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I quit work about 12 years ago and haven't earned any money since. I am 100% financially dependent upon my husband.

Our marriage is very solid (thankfully) but it does give me pause sometimes.

How do you handle that knowledge? Does it give you feelings of insecurity? Is there anything you have done to protect yourself financially? (I have no idea what that would be.)
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#2 of 49 Old 12-09-2013, 04:34 PM
 
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I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and, no, I don't feel great about it. There's so much grey area in the SAH life - what time is "yours" vs time "on the job" and the money thing just compounds it. I assume stuff in "my house" is "mine" but, technically, a lot if it isn't. I don't like that.

Recently I've started thinking about earning money. For now, I have a very humble goal if trying to find a way to earn 10 dollars a week. Makes me feel better somehow.
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#3 of 49 Old 12-09-2013, 07:36 PM
 
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I was married to my first husband for almost 15 years.  We had our first child after being married 8 years and I was a SAHM to two children for the remainder of the marriage.  Of course, after I stopped working, I rolled my 401K to an IRA and we never contribute to it, but contributed 13% of his income to his 401K.  When we divorced, I had no bank account that did not have his name on it, no money of my own and I did not pilfer money throughout the divorce because I considered it stealing from him.  I was convinced that he would treat me fairly and I would do the same.  I was wrong.  After being out of the workforce for seven years, having no income and no degree or experience to get more than a minimum wage job, I was awarded all the debt, half of his 401K (which I was responsible for the taxes of almost $16K) and he got my car, the house and paid minimal support even though he made over $100K per year.  I am remarried now, but I have my own bank account.  I had to cash in my IRA to purchase my house.  My house is in my name only and was purchased before DH and I were married.  If I were to give advice to anyone, it would be to have a separate bank account with something in it. You don't have to do it behind your DH's back, but you still should have something to rely on in case of the unexpected.  Sorry about the book! :)


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#4 of 49 Old 12-10-2013, 05:32 AM
 
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For tax purposes our main investment account is in my name and DP is fine with that.  I handle the money which gives me the illusion of having some dependence (if that makes sense), so that helps, too.

 

Like you, we have a secure marriage so it is hard for me to think about scenarios in which I might be out on my own.  However, I don't like being financially dependent on someone else when I really think about it.

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#5 of 49 Old 12-10-2013, 06:30 AM
 
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DH and I just got married two months ago, but have been together almost 14 years. I used to work full-time, before kids. Since kids, I haven't worked at all. Totally dependent on DH. However, I do have a separate bank account and credit card. I will be keeping it that way. Separate. We are on the rebound, still, from some financial "mishaps" before our first was born so we don't have a whole lot right now. I babysit occasionally so whatever I manage to not use, I save. In the spring, we are getting a house. It will be in my name and my father's name. Also in the spring, I need to find some regular part-time work. I really hate that I haven't worked in almost six years, although I am sooo happy that I have been able to stay home with our kids... even though it has been a struggle financially, sometimes scary hard. I feel it is important to get back into the workforce just in case of hard times, DH being unable to work for whatever reason, or a break-up. I need to brush up on my skills and be in a position where if the SHTF, I will be somewhat prepared for it.

 

Oh, and to answer the question, how do I feel about being financially dependent on someone else, well I don't. I like having my own money and not having to ask for it when I need it. I am hoping this will change in a few months.


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#6 of 49 Old 12-10-2013, 09:19 AM
 
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Interesting question... Only recently have I been 100% financially dependent on DH. Until last summer I always had *some* income coming in in various ways. But like a couple other posters, I deal with ALL of the finances. We both have our own accounts and then we have joint accounts.

DH's account I pay two bills from and leave him some "beer allowance", the amount dependent on how much his pay was. He buys the odd thing for himself and he like to have money in case I need him to pick something up.

Then my accounts are where are the automatic bill payments come from, the rental house accounts are and my own personal spending account. We also have a joint account with a LOC/long term savings account, a short term savings account and a mid term savings account. We both have access to the joint account through our regular account and pull from the accounts as we need. 

I have more than financially contributed to the relationship over the years. We own two houses and I supplied the down payments for both houses myself, our vehicles again have been my contribution and have contributed in other ways monetarily. I don't feel any guilt for spending "our" money. It's always just been ours. I don't have to ask, he doesn't either for the money in his account and some of the money in the joint account. He used to ask more but we had a *tight* budget then and since I did all the finances then he had to to make sure we stayed on budget. The only time he asks now is if the purchase is out of the ordinary or large, but I do the same. Or if the accounts are low and he's wondering about budget. 

So in that respect I don't really feel an issue with being financially dependent. 

We own two houses and in the event of a split we could sell one and have two separate places (they are too far from each other to each live in one with regular access to the children). And I could easily go back to doing any number of jobs that would make decent money, I have many skills which don't require being "in" the field to keep up. 

That being said I do feel guilt for not working right now being that both my kids are in school and I have a good 5 hours a day I could be working (without childcare) and being in a town where pretty much everyone is hiring feels a little indulgent (I could have a job tomorrow that works within our time constraints and still allow me days off, at a decent pay scale). But he likes me home at the moment and to be there for the kids. His job is super unpredictable and there are times he's not home for weeks at a time and he figures it would be too much and it's not needed. 

Technically I do pull in an income with our rental property although we pay someone to deal with it, I only deal with it when stuff comes up. However the government insists we split the income 50/50 and so I am considered to have an income (although we put any extra back into the house ;) ). Oh and that's the other thing... if I was to work it would most likely mess our taxes up. DH already gets taxed at a pretty high rate and his income varies so much, often times what little I bring in on top of the rental property actually hurts us come tax time. 

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#7 of 49 Old 12-11-2013, 12:07 PM
 
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One thing I did that saved my butt a few times after I separated from my first husband and child support was spotty for a while was I got a credit card in my own name when I first got pregnant, before I quit working. It got used every month and paid off every month for years and years, so when I was forced to max it out to get through a few months, the credit card company actually took it a little easy on me... they could see from my history that I'd hit a rough patch. That got me through until support enforcement could get a garnishment set up with his workplace.

I'm in Canada, so in addition to child support (when it's forthcoming) I get a child tax benefit each month and universal childcare. I have my own bank account and while pretty much everything goes to groceries and bills, this makes me feel like I'm not totally helpless.

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#8 of 49 Old 12-11-2013, 06:58 PM
 
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I don't mind it, but we're very honest about it. We know what we have and we know how it would be divided in a divorce. I can run the numbers and see that I'd be OK for a reasonable period while I got myself a job. If we had no assets and the loss of DH's income for whatever reason would put our house and grocery money in immediate jeopardy, I'd be much more worried. I assume that I would also be much more worried if divorce seemed possible, but so far it doesn't.
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#9 of 49 Old 12-14-2013, 05:29 AM
 
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The only time it "bothers" me is when things like our anniversary, his birthday, and Christmas comes up. And even then I don't give it tons of thought..it's more like a passing wonder. My husband has never failed to remind me that while yes he pays for the gift but it's me that puts the time and energy into finding that special perfect gift. I was EXTREMELY insecure about it when we first got married and when I was in my early 20s but now it doesn't bother me

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#10 of 49 Old 12-14-2013, 07:11 AM
 
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We bought our home together, contributing the cash from the sale of our apartments and becoming 50/50 owners of the house. All our income (his salary + social benefits) goes towards paying down the mortgage and buying things for the house. It's very clear that the home and everything in it belongs to us equally, even though he's the one currently employed and bringing in a paycheck. My unemployment benefits and nowadays my maternity benefits from the state go into the same account as his paycheck. This is a joint account that I feel no guilt in spending from. It's our money, he works out of the home, I work in it. In the event of a divorce, all proceeds from the sale of the home would be evenly divided and social benefits + child support amounts are very clearly spelled out in precise amounts in the country I live in, and those combined + the money from the house would mean that I could continue to stay home if I wanted to.

The last time I had a divorce we were very young and had no assets to split (as we rented and had no savings), so there was nothing to split and I was a bit more screwed.

If I lived in the US (my home country), I would be a bit more paranoid about wondering "what if" in the event of a divorce, if I would be okay, since the financial settlements vary so wildly from divorce to divorce.... Here it's all very spelled out in the legislature across the board for everyone. And there are tons more social benefits for households with children in them.

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#11 of 49 Old 12-14-2013, 09:13 AM
 
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I have never thought about it. I have been married over 17 years and have 2 special need children that need a full time parent at home. I Have a checking acct. with my husband and a savings acct. with my eldest son.

 

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#12 of 49 Old 12-19-2013, 08:28 PM
 
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I've been a stay-at-home-mom for almost 4 years now. I still work a small amount from home, but that contribution is relatively insignificant next to what my husband makes and nowhere near enough to live on. However, I feel okay about my financial dependence for two reasons. The first is that I have a college education which I feel like I could fall back on if necessary.  However, the second, more important reason is that there was a time before we had kids when I was making just as much money as my husband doing essentially the same work as an engineer. Because of that, we are both well-aware that my husband's day is a cake walk next to mine. We're lucky, because we both enjoy what we do and we both appreciate the importance of the other's role.


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#13 of 49 Old 12-20-2013, 04:24 AM
 
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I couldn't imagine myself ever being financially dependant on a man for any extended length of time. After my last son was born I was off for 4months and dh whined about the bills the whole time and I hated hearing it plus i just hated being dependant on him like that. I think I'm also more jaded because I work with women professionally who are separating from their husbands and I see all the time how screwed over they get when the marriage fails. They never thought it could happen to them, they never thought their ex could be such a prick, but then reality proves those thoughts mistaken. So yeah, I couldn't do it, but again that probably has a lot to do with what I do for a living. I think really it's a personal choice, but like one other poster said, I would definately have my own bank account.
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#14 of 49 Old 12-20-2013, 02:34 PM
 
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I'm 100% financially dependent on my wife.  I see her as my team-mate and partner in life, equals in navigating this difficult world.  Which is reassuring, because I certainly wouldn't want to do this alone.  Our marriage is rock solid, but being financially dependent is definitely a vulnerable position to be in.  As a man, I feel like traditional society doesn't approve of that arrangement- since traditionally, men are supposed to provide for their wives, which in the 21st century, I think is an antiquated, and even harmful idea, but it persists nonetheless.  And then the other side of that is, in the unlikely event that something were to happen to my marriage, and I no longer had my wife's support, I would be without a lifeline, and I doubt the job market would take kindly to a man who hasn't worked for the past x number of years because he chose to raise his children.  

 

I think this dependence ultimately forces us "dependents" to remember why we chose to be stay-at-home parents.  I personally value it tremendously.  I think it provides an invaluable service to my children, and the family as a whole.  Therefore, I think the financial risk/vulnerability that comes from that, is worth it.  But it does require the complete trust of your partner.  If any trust is lacking, then it's not a very fair contract.  If I didn't trust my wife completely, I either would not remain a stay-at-home parent, or I would seek a source of income that I could rely on in a worst-case-scenario.    

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#15 of 49 Old 12-20-2013, 03:25 PM
 
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Divorce isn't the only thing that could put us at risk, though. None of us wants to think of this of course, but if our spouse were to pass away, we would have to find a way to get by. I imagine that some of us have life insurance policies in place, but that must take time to process. Those of us that don't have that safety net, might be better of with at least some sort of recent credit history... even if that's just the phone line and utility accounts being in our names? Having your own bank ccount would at least be one less thing you need to deal with while grieving.


~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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#16 of 49 Old 12-20-2013, 04:09 PM
 
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Yes spouse passing away is another big one. And why I keep bills and an account in my name and most of the money in a joint account or my name. *He* would actually have the tougher time if *I* passed away. We have a LI policy on both of us, but mine is less. Still enough to pay the bills and extras for awhile. But I do everything and most of the things are locked away in my brain. I have tried my hardest to keep records of things in places that he could find, however he's not great at knowing or thinking about where to look. I try and keep him in the loop and he does try hard. But he would definitely have the harder time. He may do the most financially, but I do the most in every other way and I think that's harder at times. He's make it and do well but I know he would feel more lost and would need more outside help than I would.

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#17 of 49 Old 12-21-2013, 07:59 AM
 
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Being a widow is my biggest fear as we decided to never get a divorce during our arrangement discussion pre-marriage. We've got enough acreage to camp out on during spats. When he was employed I had NO qualms about spending money & even had a $2,000, spend limit. That was w/ 1 baby. Now there are 4, I've not worked in 8 years & we've been living on his military retirement while he finishes school. COLA is no longer going up for vets as of this week. I have to ask for money in advance of the pay-period & sometimes there isn't even $20.00, it has to wait until next month. If he dies, there is NO check. I started cooking & cleaning for a friend & she pays me $40.00 a week. I feel insanely rich, lol. Usually half of it goes to fun groceries, like frozen fruit, chocolate & snacky crackers. I can get everyone their favorites & feel really good about being able to do so. On the whole, it's not something I worry about but it is a possibility. I'll just deal w/ it then/if.


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#18 of 49 Old 12-22-2013, 08:49 PM
 
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  • I hate the fact I am finically dependent and fear everyday that if something happened to him that I would be on the street with the kids and crushed emotionally.
    I am hoping that once my son starts kindergarten in fall I can find a mothers hours job.

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#19 of 49 Old 12-24-2013, 01:34 PM
 
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It usually gives me pause, like another poster mentioned, at Christmas or birthdays... (it's "his" money, so how do I buy him a gift?)

Whenever I feel anxious about it the rest of the time, I imagine the reverse.  If my husband were staying at home, I wouldn't have a problem whatever with him "depending" on me.  (Unless he were out buying lots of man toys or something; but we're both reasonable spenders.)  Of course, feelings hinge a lot on how much trust is in the relationship to begin with.

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#20 of 49 Old 12-25-2013, 11:35 AM
 
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I too have feared that if something happens to DH or his income that we will end up living in a cardboard box in a ditch getting the family dinner out of trash bins (my nightmare). It has always been his money in my mind and feel awful and GUILTY spending on myself. I have found a way for me to make money and I am determined to be successful at it. Its so doable and not very hard. I am letting go of all my limiting beliefs about money and doing something about it. joy.gif
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#21 of 49 Old 12-27-2013, 08:56 AM
 
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I don't know...I have two wonderful, "easy" kids, and I still never feel guilty about spending the money my husband earns. I'm grateful and happy to be home, but full-time parenting is mentally, physically, and emotionally draining, even on good days. There are no-off duty hours, lunch breaks, vacation days, sick days. Unless my husband were an oncologist with a heart of gold, I can't see his job being more difficult than mine. Therefore, no guilt.

 

I don't necessarily recommend the book What Every Mom Needs, but I love this quote from it:

 

"SITUATIONS VACANT: HOUSEWIFE/MOTHER

Applications are invited for the position of manager to a lively team of four demanding individuals.

The successful applicant will be required to perform the following functions: companion, counselor, financial manager, buying officer, teacher, nurse, chef, nutritionist, decorator, cleaner, driver, child care supervisor, social secretary, and recreation officer. Applicants must have unlimited energy and a strong sense of responsibility. They must be independent, self-motivated and able to work in isolation without supervision, able to work under stress, and adaptable enough to handle new developments in the life of the team, including emergencies and crises. They must be able to communicate with people of all ages, including teachers, doctors, business people, dentists, teenagers and children. A good imagination, sensitivity, warmth, and an understanding of people is necessary as the successful applicant will also be responsible for the mental and emotional well-being of the team.

 

HOURS: All waking moments and a 24-hour shift when necessary.

 

BENEFITS: No guaranteed holidays, no sick leave or maternity leave. No workers’ compensation.

 

PAY: None. Allowances by arrangement from time to time with the income-earning member of the team. Successful applicant may be allowed/required to hold second job in addition to the one advertised here.”

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#22 of 49 Old 12-27-2013, 03:08 PM
 
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I've been a SAHM mostly for the last 13 yrs. We made the choice to pull our oldest out of public school 4 yrs ago and to homeschool which for our family has been wonderful. It has though extended my life as a SAHM. I did work for a little over a year in my profession and got my degree. I do volunteer work in my profession to keep my license current and I do plan to work part-time in the near future. The year that I worked full time I made $32K compared to DH's $120K. My paycheck went to pay off student loan for my degree, childcare costs and to pay off a car loan early. We've always budgeted day to day spending on DH's pay. I don't have a 401lk or an IRA and I have a savings account in my name only with maybe $2k in it. Our marriage is solid and I don't anticipate a divorce. But in the last year I've had 2 friends become young widows and that has spurred me to maintain some foot in my profession. I also plan to use what ever money I make part-time to fund an IRA and my kids college.


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#23 of 49 Old 12-28-2013, 01:22 PM
 
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I always think about how I am soooo dependent on my husband. We have health insurance, but midwives aren't covered and my husband almost had a heart attack when i told him we WILL be having a midwife, so that means out of pocket. But I have discovered a love of selling vintage clothing/items online and that is helping to soften the blow of the midwife fee.

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#24 of 49 Old 12-28-2013, 07:08 PM
 
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I am so dependent. Have been for many years. DH supported me through my last two years of college, I found out I was pg with DD1 on graduation day! I worked during her pg, quit and was a SAHM for 8 years. For two years I was able to work VERY part time around the kid's schedules, but it just wasn't feasible anymore with our therapy schedule and I haven't worked since again. With four kids, and special needs, I can't see when I will work again. DS1 will be with us for a long time. 

 

When we had children, DH and I agreed that I would be a long term SAHM because of his demanding career. Juggling child care just doesn't work. It's difficult enough to pull off with me "at home". DH is a business owner so my sacrifice is what allows his job to work. I don't have any money put aside or separate accounts. I have ok credit because we tend to take out credit cards and other accounts in my name only so that it doesn't interfere with DH's credit that he needs for his business loans/deals and our livelihood. 

 

I had been on some of the homes that we owned over the years but not anymore because I have no income, I can't get on the loan. That doesn't bother me. I know DH will take care of me even if we parted ways and in our state, I'm entitled to half of his business as well which is no small potatoes anymore. I worry more about what happens in case of  serious injury or death to him. We have hefty life insurance but it wouldn't be enough long term. Not with the COL in our area, four children, our extensive medical bills/issues, my earning potential with DS1 being at nil, and then DS1 who may be with me forever. I couldn't even begin to put a price on all that. I had always hoped to work even casual to keep my foot in the door somewhere and had the prefect arrangement for those brief years, but reality didn't turn out that way.


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#25 of 49 Old 12-30-2013, 10:37 AM
 
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I work part time but am mostly financially dependent on my husband. We talked about our roles/responsibilities before we got married (this is a second marriage for each of us, we both brought 2 kids with us and are pregnant with a 5th). We agreed that he would be the financial provider and my primary responsibility would be child-rearing, but we share household responsibilities like cleaning and cooking, as it makes sense. I end up doing more of it but he helps whenever he is home or when I ask for it. Why it works for me is because we follow an Islamic framework wherein we both understand that any money I earn is discretionary money for me and I am under no obligation to pay bills or for other necessities. He gives me money for needed clothing or educational stuff, and recreational stuff within our budget. Anything I earn is extra for me to use however I want to. I pay for things like childcare and clothing for my kids from my previous marriage, with the help of child support from their father. Within that agreement is the understanding that if we were to ever divorce that he would be financially responsible for our shared child and a period of time (like a year or so) for me to get on my feet and find more work. Now, obviously that depends on him honoring his agreement in the event that that did happen, since it's an Islamic marriage that wouldn't necessarily be honored in court (we are legally married too). But, I've seen him handle his ex-wife and kids in a pretty generous and reasonable way, and he's a very involved father. So at least I can rest assured that if we did divorce, my kid would be provided for. 

I personally wouldn't want to totally quit working, just because I do enjoy having that discretionary money that I can save if I want/need to. I also need the grown up time. 


hijab.gif Muslim convert attachment mama to 2, stepmama to 3 more. Married to a Warrior Spirit. 

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#26 of 49 Old 12-30-2013, 10:52 AM
 
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I am a working mom (by both choice and necessity) in a very secure and loving marriage and have to say that I really like having financial independence and don't know if I'd be happy without it. Growing up I saw so many women in my family and community who were trapped in unhappy/unhealthy relationships due to money OR forced to try and unexpectedly support a family with little work experience or professional skills resulting in great hardship. As a teen I swore that I would never let myself become powerless when it came to finances. I now have a very rewarding and challenging professional career that I enjoy and that provides the majority of the income needed to support our family. I also think my financial independence helps my marriage as my husband and I rarely fight about division of money and have more freedom with the income we earn (after the bills are paid of course) given that we're not necessarily accountable to one another for small purchases. I think there's something to be said for seeing your spouse as an equal and not taking them for granted (not that my husband ever would anyway but he knows he could never run around on me or otherwise tarnish our marriage because while it would be very difficult I have the means to leave him and support our child and myself if it ever came to that). Furthermore, I like being a role model for my son and any future children that we may have showing them that women can be just as successful in their careers as men and that parents should be equal partners. However, since having my son it's definitely been a bit of a struggle returning to the workforce when my maternity leave concluded and there are so many times that wish I could be home with him everyday (thankfully we have great child care arrangements and my younger sister watches him in our home while I'm working). I hate being away from my little guy and am so envious of the other moms who are able to participate in all the mommy-and-me classes and play groups that take place during the work week while we cannot. I also admit that I'm a little jealous of some of my SAHM friends who seem so carefree when it comes to finances since their husbands manage all the bills and all things money related while I'm responsible for budgeting, saving, the timing of bill payment etc. for our family (which is a LOT of work). I think I've made the right choice for me and our family but I don't think the choice is as easy or cut and dry as I always assumed it would be before I became a mom. I now have the perspective to realize that what works for one family may not work for another and there is no one size fits all, "right" way to parent. P.S. If we win the lottery I'm totally quitting my job and staying home with my son all day every day and wouldn't look back!  :)

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#27 of 49 Old 12-30-2013, 11:06 AM
 
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I just realized about a month ago that I am technically financially dependent upon my husband. I had been teaching part time on and off online since my oldest was born, but that had basically trickled down to nothing.

I guess I don't feel financially dependent upon him because to me that would imply that I couldn't take care of myself. My profession is that of a community college English professor, so I am not qualified to make as much as he does, but I do believe I could scrounge up enough to support us at a grossly reduced lifestyle should the need arise. It would require downsizing housing and everything, so it would be a big change, but I could manage I believe with either child support or life insurance.

To me, being financially dependent means not being able to support oneself if necessary. I could say my husband is also financially dependent upon me because if I wasn't doing all of the child care and house care, he would have to drastically reduce his standard of living to pay for those things.

Being a sahm is weird. You make no money, but the amount you save is almost equivalent to a paycheck, so in that sense are you really dependent?

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#28 of 49 Old 12-30-2013, 11:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by AmandaK View Post

I just realized about a month ago that I am technically financially dependent upon my husband. I had been teaching part time on and off online since my oldest was born, but that had basically trickled down to nothing.

I guess I don't feel financially dependent upon him because to me that would imply that I couldn't take care of myself. My profession is that of a community college English professor, so I am not qualified to make as much as he does, but I do believe I could scrounge up enough to support us at a grossly reduced lifestyle should the need arise. It would require downsizing housing and everything, so it would be a big change, but I could manage I believe with either child support or life insurance.

To me, being financially dependent means not being able to support oneself if necessary. I could say my husband is also financially dependent upon me because if I wasn't doing all of the child care and house care, he would have to drastically reduce his standard of living to pay for those things.

Being a sahm is weird. You make no money, but the amount you save is almost equivalent to a paycheck, so in that sense are you really dependent?

Yeah, sometimes I think it would be easier if my DP just hired me, like a nanny with a pay check and clearly laid out duties. We're one of those families that would struggle more (all things considered) if I worked, so it is really a service that I stay home.
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#29 of 49 Old 12-30-2013, 11:44 AM
 
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I am financially dependent on my husband.  I guess I am in the minority that this never worries me.  If something happened to him we have a life insurance policy that I could live off of until my youngest goes to school and then I would get a job.  All of our assets and bank accounts (except retirement) are in both of our names.

Taking children out of the equation entirely, me staying home increases the happiness of both of us in many ways.  Because I do all the household tasks during the day we can enjoy and relax for most all our evenings, often together.  No one has to rush around grocery shopping, or doing laundry, or doing any of that after being tired from a full days work.  The only chore anybody does after dinner is feeding the dog.

I always think about how spoiled I am that I don't have to work hard at a job that I hate (hubby does that).  He is spoiled because he has someone that takes care of his clothes, food and errands.  Basically we are both spoiled in one way.  Me working would take much more away from our family than we could gain from any amount of money(unless it was enough to hire a live-in maid like Alice from the Brady Bunch).  I may work part time again when the children are in school but only to prevent my loneliness/insanity investing at least 50% of my income in retirement so hubby can retire earlier. I like to think that I retired at 27 when I started staying home.

I think it would be much more difficult for him if something happened to me than if something happened to him.

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#30 of 49 Old 12-30-2013, 12:49 PM
 
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I can do anything I need to take care of myself in the event that I need to. It does not scare me one bit to be dependant on my husband right now, I will face any challenge that may come my way. If anybody can do it, it is women:) That being said, I live in Canada and there is plenty of resources available.

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