Will you encourage your daughter to be a SAHM? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 38 Old 04-11-2014, 12:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by 3xMama View Post

I would def leave it up to my kids to decide what they wanted to do. I would advise them and help them as they wanted or occasionally if I thought they were going to make a big mistake. But I'd give them my opinion once and leave it at that.

I will support my children no matter what path in life they take. 


Yeah....I frequently tell my kids that Ill support them no matter what. Then I follow it up with lots of advise and opinions. So, I don't know exactly what I'll tell my kids when they're grown, but I know that I certainly won't keep my mouth shut! Lol


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#32 of 38 Old 04-12-2014, 05:04 AM
 
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I've been reading some posts where it's been said that having a nanny somehow detracts from mothering. Well, I made the decision to employ a nanny so I could work full time. Juniper, she's being lovingly taken care of in my absence, Megs our nanny also looks after my aunty Lyra's toddler in the times aunty can't. There have been reasons for my going self-employed. It's because I don't want to be dependent on living a life of priviledge when I prefer to make my own money, running my own business. I have inherited a great amount from my late mother.  The rest of my family on my side are all dead so likewise I inherited, but I am scared of what wealth does to people. Hence, my chosen lifestyle.

 

Naturally, I would give my daughter every chance of either following her chosen career, or, and this is in years to come if she has a man or a woman to love, chooses to become a SAHM. Whatever Juniper's decision I would completely respect her wishes.

 

Culturally, perhaps in America it's far different from here in England. True, there are SAHMs, but I don't know any or, have had the chance to. What matters most though, is years down the line when Juniper is older, I intend to give her my every support in the decisions she makes. I would never wish her to feel stereotyped, but be a free spirit just like I am.

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#33 of 38 Old 04-17-2014, 07:51 PM
 
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Im encouraging my daughters and son (soon to be sons!) to grow into the people that they believe the Lord is guiding them to be. If that means they stay home with their children that is awesome. If they go to work full time, that is great to. If they juggle both then Ill support them. No matter what choice Ill be proud of them and love them/support them. Its their life to do with as they feel the Lord is guiding them to do. I just pray they are happy and productive as adults.


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#34 of 38 Old 04-18-2014, 12:54 AM
 
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yes i would and i have. 

 

for her to be aware that it is an option. i am a single mom surrounded mostly with working moms. dd has grown up seeing the norm of dc and mom's going to work. she has never seen me be a sahm. she has seen v. few sahm. ever since she was little she'd always say how she'd buy a big house for her and a small house next door for me so i'd watch the kids while she went to work. 

 

i didnt want her to unconsciously take in that mother or not YOU work. 

 

personality matters here. dd is a sensitive nurturing soul. i can see her be as devastated as i was having to leave my 3 month. i hope she never has to go through what i had to go through. 

 

i have never adviced her to be a sahm. instead what i have shared with her is how wonderful it was to be with her - inspite of all the hardship... how hard it was for me to go to work leaving her with my soon to be exh. that if i had lots of money, i'd devote all my time to her and get help with typical household nonbaby stuff. but no i was not going to get a nanny because nothing was more wonderful than playing with little toesies as i cleaned an explosive bm diaper. 

 

but then i am also the kind of person who has discouraged dd from even thinking of professions which involved many hours away from home - like being a doctor or chef. if its her passion i dont mind. but i dont want to be a doctor just coz it earns money. 


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#35 of 38 Old 07-28-2014, 09:14 PM
 
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My gut instinct was to say "no". But after thinking about it, yes I will. I will also encourage my son to do whatever he can to be with his family as much as possible-whether it's working at home or taking a job that pays less and gets him more time at home, or being a SAHD. I won't be disappointed if my daughters work, of course. But I do know how difficult it was for me to be a WOHM and there's a trade off. I want them to get as much time with their kids as possible.

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#36 of 38 Old 08-19-2014, 07:57 PM
 
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If my children asked me I would say that I feel an education and career are important. I have been a stay at home mom for 10 years....and it is very very very hard on your self esteem. VERY HARD. I would say that SAHM would be a good option if they had a great support system and had someone to give them time off to still do things they enjoy or take courses or do hobbies...because giving all that up is very hard.
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#37 of 38 Old 08-19-2014, 09:02 PM
 
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Yes. And I will encourage my son to do whatever it takes to allow his wife to stay at home. But I will make sure they both know that, like many other worthwhile things in life, it isn't easy. Of course I will encourage both of them to get as much education as they desire - I don't buy that my degree was "wasted" because I stay at home - even leaving out the fact that I worked for 3 years before staying at home, anyway.

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#38 of 38 Old 08-19-2014, 09:24 PM
 
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I will encourage my DD to do what ever she wants. With that said, I do wish I was home more often & I would tell her that if she asks one day. Although I have it better than a lot of moms in that I work 3 days per week (right now. We are actually in the process of figuring if it's possible for me to stay home). My mom worked full time & I was at a babysitters a lot. I missed her and I know she missed me.
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