forgotten what to do by myself - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 3Likes
  • 1 Post By meowmix
  • 1 Post By meowmix
  • 1 Post By Catholic Mama
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 6 Old 06-27-2014, 03:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
elou82's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 9
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
forgotten what to do by myself

This is along the lines of the thread about self-care, but a bit different so I thought I'd start a new one.
At this very moment, I am alone in my house for the first time. Literally. We moved when my daughter was 6 months old. She's now nearly 18 months and this is the first time I've been here by myself. The funny thing is, I have no idea what to do!
This just highlights something I've already been thinking about. I'm looking into getting a regular sitter for a couple hours a week. I think we could swing it financially. But while considering the whole prospect I realized I have no idea what I'd do for those 2 hours.
Housework? That seems like a waste almost. Most of that I can do with my daughter "helping," not that I necessarily do do it.
Take a nap? God, that sounds heavenly. But, I don't know, I have a hard time napping even when I'm really tired. I used to take a nap almost every day before I became pregnant. Alas, I seem to have lost the ability.
Go to a cafe? A lot of my friends have moved or I've lost touch since quitting my job before my daughter's birth. And I can't seem to focus on a book to save my life.
Ok, ok, long post short: I guess I'm looking for some reassurance that I will "find myself" again since becoming a waaaay crunchier parent than I thought I'd be. Given half a chance and a couple hours, that is.
Advice? Experience? Commiseration?
Many, many thanks.
elou82 is offline  
#2 of 6 Old 06-27-2014, 05:17 PM
 
Catholic Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 767
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
I have a few suggestions.

I've thought that when my children grow up, I might not have very much to do. But once I start to think about it, there are several things I'd like to do.

Here are a few things I enjoy that you could try too:
take a walk (I water the plants and walk a mile at a time outside, for example)
write in a journal
write a letter to a friend or family member, or a thank you note
read a good book (I could recommend many)
listen to classical music
play the piano or another instrument
make a necklace (beads and string are inexpensive, as are colored strings to braid)
check out a cookbook and copy down recipes you might try
go through your clothes and donate some
volunteer for a cause you support or work a few hours at a soup kitchen/homeless shelter
go to the library and pick out books you'd like to read to your child

I hope this helps!

May God bless you and His Blessed Mother Mary keep you!  :-)

Catholic Mama is offline  
#3 of 6 Old 06-30-2014, 07:18 AM
 
meowmix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 809
Mentioned: 24 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 56 Post(s)
I was where you are once. And I still feel like I am always finding myself. That first time I discovered I had time to myself was almost like a curse. I had no idea what to do! The house was too quiet. I felt bored. This permeated my life a bit for a while. I didn't know how to occupy myself. I didn't know what my fashion style was or what my hobbies were anymore. It comes with time and trial and error. Try things you might be interested in but maybe you don't know you are yet. I have picked up crocheting and taught myself how to do it. I didn't stick with it, though. I have painted rooms different colors. I hate painting. lol. I have written stories, organized my house, sat online and piddled away my time doing research about topics that interest me.

You just rediscover yourself through trial and error and trying things you like. Maybe start by signing up for an interesting class during your free time. Heck, I signed up for online college. I've been going to college part time for like the past 8 years. LOL. And exercised more. And decided to work from home a bit. And I bake. I have dogs that I like to walk. And I can pay attention to a book so I read when I can, too. Oh.. and there was a phase where I watched youtube videos about dance moves and practiced dancing in my house where I could shuffle badly without an audience. THAT was fun (and, I admit, sometimes my kids joined me!).

It comes with time, experimentation and trial and error.
Catholic Mama likes this.

Married, college student, part time work from home mom to DS (12), DD1 (10) and DD2 (9) and a giant dopey newfoundland, a crazy border collie mix, 3 black cats and two rats.
meowmix is online now  
#4 of 6 Old 06-30-2014, 07:21 AM
 
meowmix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 809
Mentioned: 24 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 56 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catholic Mama View Post
I have a few suggestions.

I've thought that when my children grow up, I might not have very much to do. But once I start to think about it, there are several things I'd like to do.

Here are a few things I enjoy that you could try too:
play the piano or another instrument

I hope this helps!
Thank you, Catholic Mama, for reminding me that I used to play piano and I have been wanting to sit back down at our full size keyboard for a while and see if I can still play a little! I put it on my list of things I want to do!
pumabearclan likes this.

Married, college student, part time work from home mom to DS (12), DD1 (10) and DD2 (9) and a giant dopey newfoundland, a crazy border collie mix, 3 black cats and two rats.
meowmix is online now  
#5 of 6 Old 06-30-2014, 10:07 AM
 
Catholic Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 767
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
You're welcome! We have a keyboard, too - a piano seemed too expensive at the time and my daughter's godmother gave us the keyboard for Christmas before she died - and until a few weeks ago, my oldest son and daughter and I were taking piano lessons on it. I took lessons when I was much younger and I HATED practicing - I remember crying at least once with Mom sitting next to me trying to help me. I think for my children it helped that 1) we probably weren't paying the teacher as much as Mom paid the college student and 2) she is closer to their age. It also felt pretty good in a small way that in just one lesson, I caught up to where my oldest daughter was, partly because of what I learned when I was young and partly because it made sense much easier to my adult brain. I love hearing the beautiful music when my mother-in-law played - she apparently studied music in college - and I can't wait until Mom visits again and hopefully plays some too. I am hoping that we will be able to start lessons again sometime in the next few months for me and my oldest son and daughter, as it is important to me that my children learn at least that little bit about music.

I don't mean to hijack this thread with all that. I think what you said was very helpful meowmix
meowmix likes this.

May God bless you and His Blessed Mother Mary keep you!  :-)

Catholic Mama is offline  
#6 of 6 Old 06-30-2014, 11:49 AM
 
JamieCatheryn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: SW Pa
Posts: 5,103
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
I'd catch up on housework if it really needed it, read a book maybe, ideally I'd go hiking or biking for a while if I had the chance to without my kids.
JamieCatheryn is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off