What makes your day feel successful? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 07-02-2014, 06:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What makes your day feel successful?

I've been a SAHM for 2.5 years, but done 2 major moves, a new baby with 9 week NICU stay and 6 month stint as home daycare provider in that time. I don't feel like I have really gotten into a routine because of all the disruptions. I am in a rough spot right now, questioning my decisions to stay home, homeschool my almost 4 year old, etc.

So my question is, what things do you do to feel successful in your day? How do you gauge a "good day" ? What makes it seem a little easier?
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#2 of 9 Old 07-02-2014, 09:30 AM
 
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Being in a state of peace so that my child can anchor to me in order to experience life on her own terms.
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#3 of 9 Old 07-02-2014, 09:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So, pumabearclan, what do you do to achieve that state of peace?
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#4 of 9 Old 07-02-2014, 10:42 AM
 
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Pray, to the Divine Mother in whatever form one can identify, asking for compassion and love to give to my child and to myself. This guides my decisions.

Being the best personification of Mother that I can be, with divine grace, in that day, makes it the best day possible, as I realize that I can only be the most unencumbered realization of Love in my current situation at that time. Whether it's to let go of something, insist on something, rephrase something, wait on something, understand something - this is what I look for in mothering. It's not a "pray now, go on with life" experience, it's a moment-by-moment experience where I feel that I am responsible to the divine Mother for my word and deeds. Every child (and adult) needs their Mother - have I represented her accurately to my child? Have I honored her Love and Wisdom through my actions as her child? Will my child know Her in the example and representation I have displayed?

This is what I do and what guides me. Helps me, day by day. Gives me hope and forgiveness and strength to make the best possible life in my family.

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#5 of 9 Old 07-12-2014, 10:49 AM
 
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I try to make a list of things to do each day. Keep it small though. Nothing too major but a small list of tasks that I want to complete for the day and I feel successful if I get them done. When the kids were little it could be as simple as having the dishes washed when I went to bed It really helps me to feel like I'm more successful though when I take the bar down and stop expecting too much of myself. Having young children and homeschooling can be busy and stressful. Don't expect to be Mother Teresa, Betty Crocker, Martha Stewart and Mary Poppins all in one. It's not gonna happen. I can easily get overwhelmed and feel down from it so I try to find ways to simplify life. Decluttering and organizing things into a system that's easier for me to manage. Freezer cooking has helped with the meal time hassles. For homeschooling if you're only working with a 4 year old assess what your homeschool expectations are because you could likely get away with a lot less. At that age they don't need much. Some reading time and maybe a little math. Anything else if fun stuff. For preschool age these tasks can be accomplished in lots of ways. Busy bag games are fun and educational. There are lots of free online games/websites for children that are educational as well if you're okay with that. My children loved Starfall at that age. It helped them learn letters, phonics and early reading. Honestly when mine were that little that was the basis of our homeschool. I set aside Starfall time each day, we read books (even if it was just a bedtime story), and we would do simple tasks/games to help with math skills.

I'm not sure what else to say. If you have specific issues that are bothering you then maybe we can help find more ideas to help. You can be a SAHM and homeschool if you want to but it's important to go easy on yourself and "care for the caregiver."

Michelle mom to DD , DS , & lil DD plus and spending my days
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#6 of 9 Old 07-12-2014, 04:08 PM
 
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^ Compassion to self is a great place to be
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#7 of 9 Old 07-13-2014, 04:24 PM
 
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I agree with crazyms that not very much is necessary to homeschool a four-year-old. Your four-year-old is different from my four-year-old, so he or she may be a little more advanced or mature. Mine doesn't sit still during Sunday Mass but sits quietly when I read books to him. I am going to wait at least another year before I start reading lessons with him (Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, what I used for his two older siblings); until then we're going to continue reading every day, increasing reading time as his attention span increases. When it's not thundering outside (it's rainy season in this part of the US) he can go out and ride his bike with his siblings and practice pedaling. When he was with his grandma today, he made something with tiny beads that she ironed and I found out that he may be left handed. I will watch him next time he colors to see which hand he uses.

To answer your question about what makes my day feel successful...before I go to bed I wash most of the dishes (I often let one or more soak overnight) and I'm starting a habit of clearing and washing the kitchen table. Sweeping (and sometimes mopping) the kitchen floor daily makes my husband happy. My children have chore charts and I am happy when at least one of them completes all of their schoolwork and I can check all of that off. I enjoy reading daily and I often write in my journal. The day wouldn't be complete without a rosary (ideally prayed as a family) and it's even better when I can go to Mass. It also feels successful when there haven't been any major injuries - or if there were, they've been taken care of and we're all home - and we've all gotten along fairly well.
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May God bless you and His Blessed Mother Mary keep you!  :-)

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#8 of 9 Old 07-17-2014, 09:42 AM
 
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My day feels successful when I'm in a peaceful, present state of mind and I have had my coffee. heh. Then it doesn't matter what has actually been accomplished within the day because what's done is done and I can't go back and change it so I let it go. I'm pretty laid back, though. Some days I spend hours doing my part time menial job online. Some days I spend all day taking the kids on a big outing. Some days I bake with my daughter, help my other daughter with a workbook and listen to something my son created.. and then I spend way too much time on the internet frittering away time. I spent some time most days with friends I know (some with kids, some without). Some days I do housework. All days are successful to me. And I accomplished good things in all of them. Sometimes I do look back on a day and analyze what I've accomplished and how I feel about it. I do like to think of the highlights of my day; the things I really enjoyed about that day.

I also homeschool my son. When we're homeschooling "officially" (we're off for the summer), our days aren't measured by a yardstick of success, then, either. If we have explored a subject- whether or not it interested him- we've been successful. Sometimes that success is that he learned that he didn't care for a subject. I joke that we are structured unschoolers.

Oh.. and I've been a SAHM for 13 years now (worked full time before that). We've done two cross country moves in that time and moved locally many many times. Did 6 months of full time work about two years ago and it was awful. Have done some part time out of the house work that was okay. Am a very part time college student. I think maybe I have just become good at entertaining myself.
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Married, college student, part time work from home mom to DS (12), DD1 (10) and DD2 (9) and a giant dopey newfoundland, a crazy border collie mix, 3 black cats and two rats.
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#9 of 9 Old 07-17-2014, 12:13 PM
 
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Feeling successful...

I feel successful if I can manage to make the kids 3 meals a day and keep them engaged. I feel accomplished if I can stick to a schedule 50% of the time.
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