|View Poll Results: SAHMs: What does your dp do around your home?|
|He relaxes and enjoys his family: his work is done||11||4.91%|
|He regularly does "some stuff" (e.g. yardwork, repairs, projects)||53||23.66%|
|He occasionally pitches in with various household chores||65||29.02%|
|On weekends, he does as much as I do||29||12.95%|
|He does as much around the house as I do all of the time||66||29.46%|
|Voters: 224. You may not vote on this poll|
So, I accept that the majority of what needs to be accomplished here is rightfully my responsibility; but wondered: what does the "modern dh of a SAHM do around the house?
Hopefully, my poll options aren't too limiting. Please expand upon/clarify/discuss your choice if you'd like to.
: : : : ~Brandi
He says he can't do his job without my support and vice versa. He's a gem!
During the week, he barely has time to shower since he works 50+ hours and has a commute. But he spends a good hour with the kids and if he's home at bedtime, he gets them ready for bed and puts them to sleep.
Since I am home all day, I can't imagine needing or asking for him to do housework.
Hubby , ds (11) , adopted dd (10) , dd (6) , dd (1) & 3 foster dd's
He's a pretty good cook, but since he doesn't get home until 6:30, I usually cook on weekdays.
He's not a handy guy in the traditional sense, but he's fantastic with techie stuff (like the computer).
He takes out the trash.
He helps with dishes.
I do most of the house cleaning, although we have a cleaning lady who comes every other week, so I save the heavy-duty stuff for her (like mopping, scrubbing showers). I do ALL the laundry, but that's one chore I don't mind.
Anyone else have a similar situation?
Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.
Dh works at a very physical job, and has a two hour commute, each way. He's much too tired to be making dinner,etc, when he gets home. However, he will go out and rake or cut wood, to move around after the drive.
On weekends, he works realy hard, mostly outdors. But he'll dig any garden beds I wnt done, or weed and rake and clean.
As soon as he's laid off, (every winter) he does ALLLLLL the laundry. Well, he washes and hangs and brings it up .......to be folded.
He's willing to cook, and he knows 3 recipes. As long as you don't mind one of those three, and you don't mind it taking two days to cook....
THe bathroom?????? Ha, he's NEVER cleaned it.
I should add that there are things that now that I'm a SAHM he never does. A month ago I asked him to clean the bathroom. He had to ask where the products were even though that had been moved since DS could crawl. He also has not changed a sheet in over a year. But these are things I don't mind since he does so manyother thngs.
As I mentioned earlier I prefer him to be focused on DS and I focus on the house. Well, actually, I prefer him to be able to multi task and do everything at the same time as I do when I'm home alone.
Can your DH multi-task??
When dh comes home I want him to relax and connect with our kids. He does do all the major repairs, painting, digging, etc on weekends. He is the master of the 10 minute before bed clean up, but I keep the house up so it isn't major, just dismantling a fort or picking up a few toys, but boy do those 10 min. help! When my dd was first born and I couldn't juggle everything, dh did dinners and dishes, so I don't mind doing it now.
Originally Posted by Red
In my house, we do consider the SAHM to be the one to do the housework! Then again, my babies are 14. :LOL
Ha I imagine your child care is less hands on than mine at that age:P
Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.
Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.
But currently, I do most of the cleaning while dh watches ds. But dh does the cat litter, all trash, recycling and even does the wash. He also does most of the cooking. However, he doesn't do the baby at night, even on the weekends. This weekend at 8 a.m. he flat out said no to taking ds. That ticked me off.
But, I shouldn't complain. I think we have a good system. I just hope the Ergo helps me be able to get more done.
I do the nitty gritty cleaning, vacuuming, bathrooms, floors, most of the laundry, gardening, painting and keep our 16 month old in clean diapers, clothes, well fed, well loved and well entertained/engaged ............and I do all his stuff when he is deployed.
We pretty much agree that my main job as a SAHM is being a mom and that the housework is something to be divided pretty equally.
Lets see. Sometimes he'll get laundry started, or move it from the washer to the dryer which I *hate* doing. I don't let him do diaper laundry though *LOL* He helps load/unload the dishwasher. He will sweep/mop, vaccum. He puts the kids to bed. He does all the outdoor yard work & maintaince. Just re-organized the garage which we are currently using for a lot of storage because we're still slowly unpacking!
Tina ~ SAH- head Mama to -
DS (07/'03), DD (05'05), DS, unplanned UC (01/'09), DD (06/'11) ...
SURPRISE! New little one, due Sept. 2013
I just informed him that mowing the lawn is his job since I do everything else.
Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)
As I read along, I realize that DH really does do stuff to help me out. The problem is that I have to pester him about it. He's agreed to take care of the trash/recycles and empty and load the dishwasher. But the trash is always overflowing and the sink gets full waiting for an empty dishwasher. When I just do his jobs myself, he feels guilty and says "no, I just need to do it." But I don't think it's fair for me and DD to live in a big mess waiting for him to hold up his part of the bargain! We're still actively trying to figure out the best work load divisions and methods for our family.
I don't have a problem with me being responsible for most of the housework, but I also end up taking care of the car maintenance, the house maintenance, the lawn, etc. and I often feel like this is unfair. I do like doing the lawn work - I find it very meditative and it gives me some "alone" time while getting something accomplished for our household.
DD is fairly high-needs and very hands-on. She's a little monkey, too. Add two rowdy dogs to the mix and DH leaving things all over the house and it's hard for me to keep up at all or complete any given task that doesn't take less than 5 minutes.
On the plus side, DH is a very affectionate and loving father who has changed poopy diapers from day 1. He likes to play with our DD and he likes to hold her and cuddle with her. He also usually is the one to give her a bath. And he'll change the sheets on our bed if I ask him to do so and hand him the clean sheets. :LOL
His work schedule is basically 8:30 - 6 plus 2.5 hours commuting time. He's recently started taking public transportation so he gets a break from the rat race and gets a chance to read his sci-fi books on the way home from work - yeah! Saves money too.
He's also about to start a big crunch time at work which means working lots of extra hours and probably weekends, too. I am trying to get him to help me with as many projects as possible before then so I don't feel so overwhelmed when I know he'll need more of his home time to de-stress and just be with his family.
We made a list of projects around the house to work on together, so hopefully, that will help. Also, we're trying to get more time for us to have together without DD (we are a co-sleeping family) so we had a date a couple of weeks ago. It felt so refreshing to see a movie that we got all sorts of stuff done around the house together AND spent lots of time with DD. So I know this is rambling on and on, but I guess a lot of it has to do with perceptions.
When DS was born, I could not handle dishes on top of new baby, surgery recovery and all the regular housework, mostly because I like a pretty clean house and dh cannot see the dirt...So DH does dishes - but if the kitchen is not clean, i don't usually cook either, he has to. Oh yeah, he also makes us pancakes every weekend.
It works for us so far...
he does occasionally do the dishes-- very occasionally-- and occasionally "does the laundry" which means putting huge loads through the wash and dryer, then dumping it on the floor of the bedroom, oftentimes still damp.
DH does almost all of the grocery shopping, and does all the weekend/holiday cooking. He doesn't like to clean, but will occasionally do something along those lines when he gets fed up with my messy tendencies. And tends to putter around the house, putting up pictures, fixing things, installing shelves, rearranging cabinets.
He used to do the machine part of the laundry in our old apartment ... meaning the in&out of machines part (then he brought it home and I did the folding part), but since we moved 3 months ago and now have machines in the basement of the building, I do it as a general rule.
Childcare-wise, though, I'm most of it. He's definitely involved, but I do the diaper-changing, and they're just generally my responsibility, and he'll help. IYKWIM.
Embrace the learning that is happening within the things that are actually happening!
He really is a good guy and will pretty much do whatever I ask, although, not too much on his own initiative.