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#1 of 24 Old 06-05-2005, 04:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm just curious about any books or articles you've read that make you feel like you've made the right choice for you and your family about being a SAHM.

One of my favorites was Home by Choice by Dr. Brenda Hunter

Also this article was very thought provoking for me:

http://www.taemag.com/issues/article...cle_detail.asp
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#2 of 24 Old 06-16-2005, 10:31 AM
 
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Lets see-

Dr Sears books
The tightwad gazette (even though some is a bit- well out there!)
The womanly Art
A Simple Choice
Miserly Moms
All Mothering bi-monthly issues that come in the mail

All the scrapbooks I made for DD and seeing all the things that I was there to witness!
All of her books we read together because its me or dh reading them to her!

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#3 of 24 Old 06-16-2005, 11:37 AM
 
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When my first child was born, I read some books that really touched me. I think they are out of print now, though. I liked What's a Smart Woman Like You Doing At Home? and I think the other one was called Sequencing -- something about doing it all, just not all at once!
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#4 of 24 Old 06-16-2005, 01:01 PM
 
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I read such a great book, Maternal Desire by Daphne de Marneffe - it is such an interesting book, focuses more on what staying with your baby and small children does for the mother, (as opposed to the usual emphasis - a sacrifice you are making for the future, for your children's well-being)

I highly recommend it!
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#5 of 24 Old 06-16-2005, 03:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Traceface, that sounds like an interesting book!
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#6 of 24 Old 06-19-2005, 12:39 AM
 
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I think that book would be great. I'm going to look it up.
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#7 of 24 Old 06-19-2005, 09:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amys1st
Lets see-


All the scrapbooks I made for DD and seeing all the things that I was there to witness!
All of her books we read together because its me or dh reading them to her!

i totally agree!!! i took so many pics of my first that i totally filled a scrapbook BEFORE her first birthday!! : but i must admit even staying home w/ my second, i still take tons of pictures, but somehow i can't find the time to scrapbook, they're all still in the computer :LOL
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#8 of 24 Old 06-20-2005, 12:19 AM
 
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My favorite all-time SAHM comment was made by GK Chesterton in "What's Wrong with the World?"

from the chapter "The Emancipation of Domesticity"

Quote:
When domesticity, for instance is called drudgery....if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless and of small import to the soul, then I say, I give it up; I do not know what the word means....deciding sales, banquets, labors and holidays...providing toys, boots, sheets, cakes and books...teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman's (SAHM's) function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute.

WOHM married to SAHD, living the dream w/our: 3 girls (14,12,10) and 3 boys (7,5,3) and tie-breaker due Jan 2014

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#9 of 24 Old 06-23-2005, 05:41 PM
 
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I love Chesterton, I've got to read that!
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#10 of 24 Old 06-23-2005, 07:05 PM
 
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I read 7 Myths of Working Mothers: Why Children and (Most) Careers Just Don't Mix by Suzanne Venker. It is a great book! Made me really feel like I made the right choice.
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#11 of 24 Old 07-02-2005, 04:17 PM
 
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You all must read "Being There" By Isabelle Fox!!! It is so good! I can't believe I've been a SAHM for all these years feeling "lucky", "lazy", and like I was doing it for me and not for the kids. This book is so awesome!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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#12 of 24 Old 07-04-2005, 10:51 PM
 
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Thanks for these titles. I just requested "Being There" and "Maternal Desire" from the library. Can't wait 'til theyre in. YEAH!

Mama to 3 daughters, expecting #4chicken3.gif

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#13 of 24 Old 07-13-2005, 09:39 AM
 
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Thanks everyone, great list

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#14 of 24 Old 07-14-2005, 06:23 PM
 
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Can I add two books?

The Price of Motherhood by Anne Crittenden

The Second Shift by Arlie Hoschild

Both of these books remind me of how hard it can be to juggle motherhood and career, and even though my mom always encouraged me to "have it all", a fullfilling career and children and marriage, I just don't want it.

Great list so far!

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Acorn Dolls~Wool Felt Crowns~Children's Craft Kits~Shooting Stars~Dancing Fairy Rings~Come On Over and Play!
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#15 of 24 Old 07-14-2005, 08:08 PM
 
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Another book I found interesting- The two Income Trap . Its by Elizabeth someone who is a prof at Harvard. She co authored this book w her daughter. One thing I took away from this read- its easier to survive as an one income family than two income if one was to loose their job. Reason being- when there are two incomes, they both usually factor into household expenses- example, qualify for a mortgage on BOTH incomes not just one or pay rent from both incomes. So if someone gets laid off/job loss, there goes your roof over your head.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#16 of 24 Old 07-15-2005, 12:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amys1st
Another book I found interesting- The two Income Trap . Its by Elizabeth someone who is a prof at Harvard. She co authored this book w her daughter. One thing I took away from this read- its easier to survive as an one income family than two income if one was to loose their job. Reason being- when there are two incomes, they both usually factor into household expenses- example, qualify for a mortgage on BOTH incomes not just one or pay rent from both incomes. So if someone gets laid off/job loss, there goes your roof over your head.
It is a interesting book, but it doesn't advocate single earning families (rather it is an indictment of wage stagnation and housing inflation. The authors actually advocate school vouchers so parents don't need to use both their incomes in order to afford a morgage in a good school district and one parent's salary can then be banked for disasters). They argue that American families needing two incomes to remain middle class makes these families one disaster away from finacial ruin, but the book doesn't suggest that one income is better than two or that two incomes is the problem. The problem, according to the book, is house prices, consumer habits, and wage stagnation.
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#17 of 24 Old 07-15-2005, 01:21 AM
 
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Maybe not exactly what you're looking for here, but I've just finished Gavin De Becker's Protecting The Gift and it really helped me feel better about being so 'protective' and 'controlling' of ds's experiences.

I'm definitley putting some of these other titles on my wish list!
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#18 of 24 Old 09-23-2005, 10:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I just saw this in the NY Times:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/national/20women.html

It's about women at elite colleges in big career degrees that plan to SAHM for their kids.
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#19 of 24 Old 09-23-2005, 11:05 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sophmama
I just saw this in the NY Times:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/national/20women.html

It's about women at elite colleges in big career degrees that plan to SAHM for their kids.

Whoa--that is really surprising to me. Maybe some of these young adults are remembering not being cared for? I am surprised more young women aren't saying they would want to switch off with their partners on child care issues.

I mean, OK. *I* want to be the one home, doing the bulk of the kid thang during the day, but I am surprised so many of these women want that as well...
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#20 of 24 Old 09-23-2005, 11:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mamawanabe
It is a interesting book, but it doesn't advocate single earning families (rather it is an indictment of wage stagnation and housing inflation. The authors actually advocate school vouchers so parents don't need to use both their incomes in order to afford a morgage in a good school district and one parent's salary can then be banked for disasters). They argue that American families needing two incomes to remain middle class makes these families one disaster away from finacial ruin, but the book doesn't suggest that one income is better than two or that two incomes is the problem. The problem, according to the book, is house prices, consumer habits, and wage stagnation.

I didn't read this book, but I recently read an article in Yankee Magazine by the authors. And in *that* article these same authors * did* state that one income families were better off. Since these families were not relying on two incomes to meet all of their needs, if the time came when more $ was needed or desired, the person traditionally without a job culd get one. That money would pay for increased needs/standard of living etc. This second income could be gravy or a net, basically.
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#21 of 24 Old 09-23-2005, 11:42 AM
 
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[QUOTE
Also this article was very thought provoking for me:

http://www.taemag.com/issues/article...cle_detail.asp[/QUOTE]


just pulled this little tidbit out of the above site:

--Many observers say all that’s needed is some new laws requiring higher adult-to-child ratios. But they overlook day care’s basic nature. Getting the ratios up to a humane level would amount to recreating families artificially, and the reason day care exists to begin with is because there aren’t enough adults currently willing to spend their days in families. Even if you could provide enough adult bodies in every day care setting, you would, as Penelope Leach points out, "have lost your economies of scale." Only a comparatively small number of rich families can afford to hire one parent surrogate for every child or two. In any mass form of day care, basic financial considerations and the limited number of substitute parents available make the kind of personal attention children crave impossible.--


Very thought-provoking. Mathematically, there are not enough bodies to cover the need.

Leach is Britsih- and in my mind, I think of child care in Britian as being better than what's available in the 'take care of your own' US.

Is there anyone here who has used infant care in France? I have heard that the creches are very crowded, that ratio is an issue even in France, but I have never expereinced it. I keep holding out hope that *somewhere* women can do the work they want/love/need and that 90% of child care is good, affordable and good for kids. Since so many children do need care.

PS I say 90% because 100% would be perfect, and perfection is an illusion.
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#22 of 24 Old 09-23-2005, 01:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sophmama
I just saw this in the NY Times:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/national/20women.html

It's about women at elite colleges in big career degrees that plan to SAHM for their kids.
No offense, but that was horribly bad journalism. I am primarily a stay at home mama (grad degree, professional career) and even I could design a better survey than the one she used. A handful of women does not a trend make.

Journamalism, as the Daily Show calls it. A more thorough and graceful debunking:
http://slate.msn.com/id/2126636/?nav=ais
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#23 of 24 Old 09-23-2005, 06:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama
No offense, but that was horribly bad journalism. I am primarily a stay at home mama (grad degree, professional career) and even I could design a better survey than the one she used. A handful of women does not a trend make.

Journamalism, as the Daily Show calls it. A more thorough and graceful debunking:
http://slate.msn.com/id/2126636/?nav=ais
I think I have a new crush

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#24 of 24 Old 09-23-2005, 07:11 PM
 
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