Unmotivated and Blah SAHM - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 06-06-2005, 03:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't want to sound like a whiner on my first post, but I've gotten into a sort of funk.
My dd is 7 months, and I SAH. I love being with her, but lately I find myself to be so unmotivated to do much of anything. If I don't get out of the house first thing in the AM, I feel like it's too late. Yet when I do go out, even if it's just to go walk around a mall I feel loads better.
I got soooo much more done when I worked and had a million things to do. It's so ironic.
I'm the type of person who has to be totally mentally occupied constantly or I tend to get bummed out. SAHM-ing doesn't offer a lot in the way of mental stimulation, yet I have no intention of going back to work.
Any similar experiences/advice?
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#2 of 8 Old 06-07-2005, 12:21 PM
 
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I can relate!

Sometimes I'm just so godawful bored!!! And I can't get motivated. I tell myself I'm going to do some neat homeschooling thing today, and I just kind of, like, never get to it...

I keep telling myself it will be better when they're older.
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#3 of 8 Old 06-07-2005, 01:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SharpieMarker
I got soooo much more done when I worked and had a million things to do. It's so ironic.
Ever hear the expression, "If you want something done, ask someone who has no time to do it"? Your experience is ironic, but not uncommon.

And I think it's pretty universal, too - not limited to working/at-home, men/women, whatever. You'll find your way - maybe volunteering (many organizations offer child care now, or have situations where bringing your own child is permissable - I worked for a time at a Ronald McDonald house looking after patients' sibs while their parents were at the hospital and many of my fellow volunteers brought their own children to play), teaching yourself to cook Thai food, reading all of E.M. Forster's books, or whatever. One friend of mine took up writing real letters (i.e. snail mail) by dashing off sentances here and there when she could and after a while she said that she was noticing so much more in her own life because she paid attention to it so that she'd have something to write in her letters.

Anyway, my point is that you shouldn't feel alone. We have so much that we could be doing, and so many things we could be thinking about or learning or experiencing that it can seem paralyzing and before you know it - 11 a.m. seems too late to start the day. Once you find your "hook" you'll regain your enthusiasm and will be off and running.

A harsher response: My great-grandmother always told me that "only boring people are ever bored". Yikes. She wasn't one for sugar-coating it and these words have stuck with me my whole life. Whenever I'm feeling bored I can hear her alto vibrato echoing in my ears and I'm on my feet and doing something in no time.
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#4 of 8 Old 06-07-2005, 11:03 PM
 
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I've been home for several years now, and I find that the boredom factor cycles in and out. I actually just had this converstion with dh yesterday, in fact! I find that if I don't get up, get dressed, and get going with even something little, the whole day feels wasted. I do know, though, that there are weeks when I'm so busy that the days just fly by. The other thing that dh pointed out to me is that I'm actually MORE busy/active once the kiddos get home. Dd #1 and ds get in at 2:30, the little one gets picked up at 3, then we usually do the library, sports, or whatever. Then there's homework, dinner, bathtime, etc. Maybe I'm just resting up during the day for that second shift!
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#5 of 8 Old 06-08-2005, 12:06 AM
 
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Maybe instead of a trip to the mall, you could go walk around the museum or art gallery. Babies love the visual stimulation of those places, and often the floors are kept clean enough to let baby crawl (as opposed to mall floors ). That way you could learn things too! I find it's fun, with the kids, to do touristy things in my town, things I wouldn't even have thought of doing before kids. I don't know what your town is like, but I've learned a lot more about mine since I've gone on tours and such! Afterall, the kids are new to the town like most tourists, so they might as well check it all out.
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#6 of 8 Old 06-08-2005, 10:36 AM
 
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Well... we only have one car now, and it was a deliberate decision. The thing with staying home is that there is ALWAYS something to do. With a 7 mo it can be a little less obvious because so much time is spent in baby land out of necessity. But, I bet as your child gets older, things will start opening up. For me, I go on walks, practice guitar, read, clean closets, rearrange furniture, garden, do yard maintenance, find stuff to throw away... There is so much to do that I feel overwhelmed when I need to spend so much time nursing (I have a 2 mo). Then, I haven't even touched on all the homeschool stuff I want to do with my two older kids. So, at 7 months, you probably are still finding your stride. I think it's easier at that point to do more outings because there is alot that you just cannot do with such a young baby.
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#7 of 8 Old 06-08-2005, 10:46 AM
 
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Oh--such great responses!!
I have felt this way, too. After leaving a great job and a life long career to have kids, it was a rude wake up call (I was 38 when dd was born).
But now, three years later and one more kid later, I have finally (finally!) found my stride.
I never exercised for joy and now run/walk four miles a day (with a double jogging stroller)--and I've gotten so good at it that I can now sing with my kids as I run :LOL . I have taken some on-line classes just for interest--things that I've always wanted to learn about but never had time for (when the kids nap or play nearby--I don't do it if they need me).
I love to read boards about parenting. I take up small projects around the house. I took a stained glass class at a local glass shop.
Chalupa mom said it well. ITA.
I also agree that it goes in cycles. And something else--for me the time seemed to go faster as my kids got older and could communicate. As much as I love nursing and snuggling a baby, I looked forward to the walking talking years.
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#8 of 8 Old 06-10-2005, 04:35 PM
 
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Ugh I think I found this thread just in time...it's raining, I feel BLARGH and grumpy, my kids wont sleep whine whine whine.....Most of the time I love being at home with them and thought I was the only one who had blah days. I'm usually pretty good at getting outside and doing stuff but sometimes I just can't get my sh*t together.

thats better, I'm going to go and play with my kids

GranoLLLygirl you are an inspiration!

Lisa: Homeschooling Mum of ds, 8 and dd, 6
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