Any other isolated SAHMs? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 08-30-2005, 02:21 AM - Thread Starter
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I'm a SAHM, living in the 'sticks'. I don't drive, so I'm pretty isolated. I like it, but some days I think I'll go insane. Play groups aren't an option for me, and I don't know anyone around here (I'm not good at making friends). Any other mamas out there like me? How do you handle it? What do you do with your DC all day?
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#2 of 17 Old 09-02-2005, 07:47 AM
 
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Well, if Switzerland qualifies as the "sticks" then I'm right there with you! In my case it's more a cultural/linguistic isolation but it still isn't fun. But being stuck in the middle of nowhere is tough...I think I wouldn't do well in that situation either.

What works for my son and I is to focus on the good things that are here and that I have control over. There is beautiful countryside all around us and so we get out into it everyday. I rely much more heavily on the internet than I would have ever imagined! For me, it's no subsitute for the real thing but it's often enough to keep my sanity!

Maybe you could find someone within driving distance who wouldn't mind coming to you. There are so many mamas out there wishing they had somewhere to go!

good luck.

Blissed out mama to 3 beautiful boys love.gif LIFE IS GOOD! thumb.gif

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#3 of 17 Old 09-02-2005, 01:34 PM
 
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I was in that situation when my ds was smaller, now we are in town but it's not much better. I don't have a car most days (dh needs it for work) and I am in a new city where I don't realy know anybody. I wish I had some advice for you but sometimes I feel like I'm loosing my mind.

You're not the only one!

Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you.)0(
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#4 of 17 Old 09-02-2005, 02:42 PM
 
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We are rural and isolated. I also don't drive. We save outings and errands to do as a family.
We are big readers in our house. I read for myself and to dd every day.
The internet is kind of important to us. It is a great source of information and contact with like-minded people. It helps us stay in touch with our family who live some distance away too.
We explore outside. Dd helped me plant things and weed. We find out about the bugs, frogs, birds and plants that we see around here. We play games. Dd uses her imagination. She dictates stories to me. We make things. We watch movies. Dd has access to art supplies and a big play area in the basement. Dd never seems bored. She helps me clean and do laundry sometimes.
In July we had a week long "camp". I set up a tent in our basement for dd to sleep in and we made a map of the camp (our house and yard). I had different areas set up and planned activities for each day. Dd had a lot of fun. I don't do that level of planning every day but every once in awhile it is okay with us.
Maybe you could do a theme each week and find books, foods, etc. to fit your themes.

There are days I really want to get out. We usually go somewhere once a week. If we aren't able to go I sometimes get a little stir crazy. I probably spend a little more time on the phone or outside when that happens.

Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

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#5 of 17 Old 09-07-2005, 02:10 PM
 
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Soooooo with you. We are a one car family, which I love most of the time but it's hard to be isolated. I live far away from my family on a military base. I try to meet new people but things are hars. Oh well.
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#6 of 17 Old 09-07-2005, 03:28 PM
 
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We are not exactly in the sticks, but we are in a new town , in a new state far away from home. My Ds do a lot of baking and reading. I play outside with him. We go for walks and bike rides. I have spent the summer worrying about him because he has not had that many kids to play with. Do other isolated mamas worry that their kids don't have enough "playing with other kids" time?

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#7 of 17 Old 09-09-2005, 11:45 AM
 
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We moved out of the city a year ago. It's nice in a way because it's quiet and we go on lots of bike rides etc. But I try and find ways for DS to spend time with other kids. Frankly we are sick of each other. Some 3 year olds have seperation anxiety, but DS is the opposite. He can't wait to get out. I did some babysitting for a little bit and that helped. I'm looking forward to doing more of that soon.

Homeschooling mom of two plus baby R born December 16 love.gif
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#8 of 17 Old 09-09-2005, 05:15 PM
 
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I live about 40 km outside a major city. It takes just a little over 30 minutes to get into the city, but we don't do it often because we can't afford the outrageous price of gas. I live in a townsite with about 250 houses (and a firehall, but nothing else...no stores or anything), but I don't really know anyone and I'm not that comfortable with getting in people's faces and taking the first step. We moved here a year ago, and I feel isolated, (even if I'm not really that isolated). We go to "the city" at least once a week to get groceries, and I try to do some other things at the same time. There doesn't seem to be a lot to do where we live. On nice days (which has been rare this year) we go outside. My son is just over a year, so it's hard for me to think of things to do with him at this age. We tried playdough today. It creeps him out and it made him cry. I'm looking forward to when he is a little older and we can do more things together. My son likes to read ALL THE TIME and it is a little annoying because he insists on doing it with me. So we spend most of the day with him sitting on my lap and me reading. I don't get much done.
My son doesn't get much interaction with other kids. Just once a week at church really. But I started to do some babysitting about 5-9 days a month just this month (another one year old) so he'll get some other interaction a couple days a week. I'm sorry I don't have any good suggestions about what to do. My sister is mailing me some crayola finger painting things, so we are going to try that later this month. Oh....and my son really loves the Baby VanGogh and Baby Mozart dvd's (not that I'm advocating them because I'm not too sure about how I feel about him watching them when he's not even two...but he LOVES them and is so excited when I ask him if he wants to watch a dvd.)
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#9 of 17 Old 09-14-2005, 10:46 AM
 
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Wow. I thought i was being silly...but no. Man i feel you guys. Why do we feel like this?? We're alive! we're not starving...we've got it all. But i just feel so isolated...even in town. My son has that reading thing too...where he just wants to read all the time. I worry ALL THE TIME that he doesn't get enough interation with other kids (he's 2). We just had another baby 2 weeks ago, and haven't been able to leave the house (don't drive either, not that it would matter). Do 2 year olds need other kids?

We've been talking about moving to a more like minded area (portland?) from OHIO...the heartland of....nothing...but baby sitters and white bread. but i don't know if moving will solve the problem. sometimes i think its all in my head. I just feel sooo alone!
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#10 of 17 Old 09-14-2005, 11:10 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by junglefamily
Wow. I thought i was being silly...but no. Man i feel you guys. Why do we feel like this?? We're alive! we're not starving...we've got it all. But i just feel so isolated...even in town. My son has that reading thing too...where he just wants to read all the time. I worry ALL THE TIME that he doesn't get enough interation with other kids (he's 2). We just had another baby 2 weeks ago, and haven't been able to leave the house (don't drive either, not that it would matter). Do 2 year olds need other kids?
BTDT

Your 2 year old will be fine. Take care of yourself as best you can. I know how hard it is. I've always lived in town too.
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#11 of 17 Old 09-14-2005, 08:14 PM
 
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When my oldest was little we lived in the country. I used to do lots of outdoor things. Go for walks, plant a garden, go to the library, read, play, bake things. There were no play groups either. I didn't know many other moms with kids my ds's age. At times it was isolating...I didn't even have the internet at the time so I don't know how I stayed sane.

Sabrina , mom to 4 fab kids!

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#12 of 17 Old 09-14-2005, 08:25 PM
 
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JungleFamily - Where in Ohio are you? We just moved to Ohio in June. We are in the Cinci area.

Mom to Zach eat.gif , 2 cat.gif, 1dog2.gif, and a whole lot of goldfish.gif!!!! 
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#13 of 17 Old 09-15-2005, 12:19 AM
 
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Wow, what a timely post. I had one of those days today where I was feeling alone, and wondering how all of this was going to play out...

We moved to a new city this summer, and it's largely a retirement town with ~200 people... No other young mamas here, and we're >1 hr from the nearest playgroup or "socialization" for my child or me.

Ds is only 5 weeks old, and sometimes I wonder how these next few years are going to go -- already I've been depending heavily on the internet -- and MDC -- for parenting support and a link to the mamas in the "outside world"...

Hang in there, rural mommies. You are not alone!

Mama to A 8/05 and S 11/06
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#14 of 17 Old 09-15-2005, 02:46 PM
 
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even though there are some mdc mamas in my own back yard
Most of mine is due to illnesses. But there really aren't that many AP mamas in the sticks where I live.
And the other homeschoolers I don't fit with because the group because they are strict SOF/school at home is the only proper homeschooling.
I can't always get out since I don't know how I am going to feel day to day
and the stuff we do is usually next town/city over but with gas being $$ and no public transportation in the sticks....
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#15 of 17 Old 09-17-2005, 10:28 PM
 
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zach'smom--i'm in wooster about 4 hours away.
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#16 of 17 Old 09-24-2005, 08:54 PM
 
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I'm right here with you in the sticks!!! I do have some neighbors way down the country road but have very little in common with them. I feel isolated and a little starved for friendship. I also worry about my dd ( 2 yrs old) not having enough interaction with other kids. We are going to homeschool as well and the only other homeschoolers I've met around here do so for religious reasons, did I mention I was in the Bible Belt? What a different culture.
I'm happy to see I'm not the only one and thank goodness for the internet!!!
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#17 of 17 Old 09-24-2005, 09:55 PM
 
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When living out in the sticks a person needs projects and a number of them at that.

So say
~a quilt,
~a garden, you can plan and drool over catalogs in the winter spring gets things ready, going and summer for putting up and tending.
~books for long winter evenings
~room project like decorating or redoing

Kids seem to stay busy when the parents are busy. When the parent/s sit around so do the kids so its seems. And involving kids in YOUR projects is a learning for them And kids just love the outdoors it seems. For example my oldest dd just learned to get on her donkey by herself so even though the weather has been nasty she has been outside for most of the day.
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