Sitting on the SAH/WOH fence - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 10-01-2005, 11:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I interviewed last week for a part-time job doing something I totally love. I didn't think I did well, but got called the same afternoon for a second interview, which will be in 2 weeks. The job is actually more hours than I thought, though probably still workable.

The problem is, I feel like I've just hit my groove as a SAHM. I've been struggling for a long time, feeling like I should be doing more with my life than just being home with my kids. I felt truly underappreciated, and often felt that I had wasted my intellect and education. Add to that the past 5 years of ongoing medical issues with our youngest dd, and some money problems and I was really feeling like I HAD to get a job or I'd just go crazy. But a funny thing happened when school started. I realized that I LIKE to be a homemaker, that I'm proud to be creating a home for my family. I love being the one they run to off the bus to tell me all about their day. I love that when preschool called with some concerns about dd, I could just head over there and check it out for myself. All of a sudden, I really feel great about being a SAHM. Strangely enough, though, this feeling started before the job interview, not after. Now, I'm really feeling torn between this wonderful opportunity for a well-paying, interesting job, and my heart's calling to be home for another year or more. I tried doing the pro-con list, but it didn't seem to help much here, so I knew I could turn to some wiser mamas to see what you all had to share.
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#2 of 15 Old 10-02-2005, 01:06 AM
 
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Of course I can not tell you what is best but from your post it really sounds like you want to stay home. You really made me all warm and fuzzy reading your pridein staying hime...oops g2g DD came out of bed.

The first rule of homeschooling: water the plants! :
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#3 of 15 Old 10-02-2005, 01:36 PM
 
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I'm a firm believer that things come together for a reason. *Because* you are happy at home you probably interviewed better than you thought I think it is also normal to be ambivilant about such a big change - especially when sahming is going through a pleasant phase.

Personally, I would go for the interview but see what you can do about the number of hours they want you to work. If you are neutral about whether or not you get the job you can ask for everything you want and if it doesn't happen you won't really mind. If it does happen - YAY!
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#4 of 15 Old 10-02-2005, 05:48 PM
 
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I say at least go to the second interview. You say that it is part-time and something that you will really like. You can always give it a trial go and if you really dislike being away from your kids...then you can always go back to SAHM'ing.

At least that way you'll know whether it is right for you or not and your kids should be fine to give you a couple weeks to try it out.

Good luck!
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#5 of 15 Old 10-02-2005, 06:47 PM
 
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Follow your heart. It's beautiful.
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#6 of 15 Old 10-02-2005, 06:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I will be going to the 2nd interview, which sounds much more challenging than the first. I plan to do my best there, and I like the idea about asking for what I want when/if the job is offered to me. It is a scary proposition to head out into the work world after so many years away. There are so many things about working that I'd forgotten about, especially since both of my older children were babies/toddlers the last time I was employed. Luckily, dh is being very supportive of me, even though I think he's as ambivalent as I am about the possibility of both of us working outside the home. I admit it's been a nice ego boost to know that I'm still a desirable candidate for this kind of job!
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#7 of 15 Old 10-03-2005, 03:47 PM
 
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It has been flattering that I have had three job offers this past year and I didn't even seek them out. I was tempted but ultimately decided to continue to follow my heart and stay home.
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#8 of 15 Old 10-03-2005, 06:33 PM
 
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Yeah, me too. I had an interview when ds2 was a few months old. Told them I preferred part-time and didn't get hired. A few months later my old job asked if I wanted another contract (I worked for Lilly through Kelly Scientific Staffing.) I talked to my old supervisor and told him I wanted $22/hour and no more than 30 hours per week, thinking yeah, right, but I can always try. I got it! (no benefits, though) and quit when they forcd me to full-time after 2 mos. (My new supervisor wasn't down w/ the part-time thing and I couldn't pump enough and missed my baby too much when I was full-time.) After I quit there, I put my resume out and had a guy from a local lab calling me a few times, but it was mostly just checking to see if I was willing to work full-time yet. Nope. LOL! I wouldn't mind a part-time job at all if it's something I like. Well, not till this babe's a lot older, of course. He was unexpected, so I hought I'd have a part-time job by now. LOL. No more than like 24 hours a week, though. But a big deciding factor for me is who will be watching my kids. My old sitter quit doing daycare and I doubt I'd find someone that good again. Sometimes I feel really guilty. My dh is a grad student, so on his stipend, we're pretty poor. And I could be making very decent money. But we've talked about it over and over. I have no reason to feel bad b/c we're getting by and our family is happier w/ me at home.

I say follow your heart. If you really want to stay home a little longer, do that. Or maybe take the job and you can always give them your notice if it doesn't work out.

I'm planning on taking 1 class per semester for the next 2 years till dh is out of school, then going back full-time to get a master's when ds3 is 2 years old or so. But maybe when he's 3. 2 seems a little young. Well, no rush! LOL!
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#9 of 15 Old 10-04-2005, 06:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am loving being home, which is such a dramatic switch for me that I can't help thinking that I'm meant to make a choice here. I did not become a full-time SAHM by choice originally (dd was born w/serious special needs, so working was no longer an option), so I'm thinking this is the point where I need to decide. I am waiting patiently -- another dramatic change for me -- to see where my heart leads me after the interview. All this presuming I even get offered this job!

There are so many things that would be great about this position, not the least of which is the income. It would also be working for something I feel very strongly about, and it is part time. The downsides (and there are always downsides, arent' there?) include state-wide travel and some inconsistent scheduling. With three kids in two different schools, that poses some serious challenges. Added in with the difficulty of finding childcare for 3 children, one of whom has special physical and medical needs, and my reluctance to jump right in seems well-founded! I am trusting the universe to show me the way!
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#10 of 15 Old 10-05-2005, 12:37 AM
 
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Yes, I understand your reluctance.

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#11 of 15 Old 10-10-2005, 04:56 AM
 
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I understand your reluctance, but I think it's worth doing. I'm a full-time mum who fits in a p/t job as well- the kids ALWAYS come first. Can you organise your prospective employers so that you work school-hours only, and so you get at least one or two clear days a week to yourself and keep doing the stuff that's important to you?

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#12 of 15 Old 10-10-2005, 05:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The second interview is tomorrow, and I am sooo nervous! Of course, dd has a double ear infection, for the second time this month, so I'm exhausted on top of it. I hope to do really well so that IF I get offered the job, I can have some negotiating power in discussing hours, possiblity of working from home occassionally, etc. Dh is still being very supportive and willing to go either way with this. I think I'm very lucky in that regard Wish me luck!
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#13 of 15 Old 10-10-2005, 07:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snuggly mama
The second interview is tomorrow, and I am sooo nervous! Of course, dd has a double ear infection, for the second time this month, so I'm exhausted on top of it. I hope to do really well so that IF I get offered the job, I can have some negotiating power in discussing hours, possiblity of working from home occassionally, etc. Dh is still being very supportive and willing to go either way with this. I think I'm very lucky in that regard Wish me luck!
Good luck - I hope it all works out in a way that brings you joy
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#14 of 15 Old 10-10-2005, 07:26 PM
 
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I've found that I always do better at job interviews when I don't really NEED the job. If it's something you want to do, do it. Good luck at the interview and with the ear infection.

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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#15 of 15 Old 10-11-2005, 03:51 AM
 
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at least go for 2nd interview. i can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to think about reentering the workforce after such a long time.
I personally enjoy working part time out of the house becasue it's a sanity break for me, some adult conversation, much needed income which results in me being a better mom, IMO. i'm less stressed, i have better self esteem and i appreciate the time i have with dd. but it's a personal choice so like op said, follow your heart, things happend for a reason!

single mama to DD 5.09
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