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#1 of 33 Old 10-04-2005, 03:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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: I read this article today in my local paper (Baltimore Sun) and it made my blood boil!

"Who's paying for these women's Ivy League educations?"

http://www.baltimoresun.com/features...1152396.column

I didn't have an ivy leaue education but I did go to college and got a masters degree too. I worked for 4 years after my masters before becoming a SAHM. I am very happy I'm a SAHM, and am ok with people chosing differently for themselves, but I'm so insulted that she thinks I shouldn't have had the opportunity for a college education.... I'm so mad I can't even think of what to write in response to this article ... some of you mammas out there who are so good at writing letters, let her have it!

Thanks for letting me rant. I feel better.
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#2 of 33 Old 10-04-2005, 03:44 PM
 
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I don't even know where to begin.

I do have an Ivy League education, and a master's degree, and although I'm not exactly tremendously career-ambitious, I love learning. If I could, I'd be a professional student.

I struggle with feeling guilty that I'm "wasting" my education by not working, but I also know that my DD is happier than ever since I've been home with her, and I use my education every day with her. The world will be better off with our children in it. This is my contribution right now. And you know what, I'm smart and capable and creative and I'll find a way to work again. That whole corporate, competitive "career track" scene is not only elitist, it's all about privilege and access which applies to so few (even among those who actually get the so called "Ivy" education). What a load of pucky.
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#3 of 33 Old 10-04-2005, 05:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by HippoMommy
I don't even know where to begin.

I do have an Ivy League education, and a master's degree, and although I'm not exactly tremendously career-ambitious, I love learning. If I could, I'd be a professional student.

I struggle with feeling guilty that I'm "wasting" my education by not working, but I also know that my DD is happier than ever since I've been home with her, and I use my education every day with her. The world will be better off with our children in it. This is my contribution right now. And you know what, I'm smart and capable and creative and I'll find a way to work again. That whole corporate, competitive "career track" scene is not only elitist, it's all about privilege and access which applies to so few (even among those who actually get the so called "Ivy" education). What a load of pucky.
:

Well except for the Ivy League education anyway. :LOL I got my degree at Penn State. What a load of crap! I'm not good at writing letters, though.
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#4 of 33 Old 10-04-2005, 07:07 PM
 
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I found it interesting how the article ended: ...I would have asked a couple of extra questions on my e-mail survey: Is Dad picking up the entire tab for your elite education? Is that true for your roommate and for the rest of the girls in your dorm?

Anyone notice the sexist assumption the author made that "Dad" was footing the bill? What about Mom footing the bill? What about the students, who, like me, may have been paying for their undergrad education themselves. Not only that, she refers to these students as "girls." I would call them "women," but maybe that's just me.

Nevertheless, I do feel that I'm wasting some of my education in that I still owe huge student loans on my graduate degrees. Sometimes I wish I'd stopped with my MS.
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#5 of 33 Old 10-04-2005, 08:49 PM
 
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I haven't read the articvle, but my blood is boiling in anticipation of what it probably says.

I left a Ph.D. program at Harvard so that I could stay home with my kids. DIdn't plan to have kids when I did, first one was conceived on the pill. I took her to classes with me, and even into the field (I was/am a biological anthropologist). Then I began to research the effects of maternal separation on infants, both primate and human. Long story short, I realized the right course for our family was for me to stay home with our kids.

So I left, with a Masters Degree instead of a Ph.D.

Am I wasting my education? Hell no! My education has afforded me an outlook on life that I would not have otherwise had. My life consists of many rich experiences, Ivy-League education being (only) one of them. My entire life experience shapes who I am, and who I am has everything to do with how I raise my children.

Actually, at Commencement, one of the student speakers made the point that it is not what you do "with your education" -- it is how you use the perspective your education has given you.

Should I read the letter and write in..? I hesitate, because I would like to have a peaceful October.

Also, most people end up doing something different than what they were trained to do in college/grad school. So, if you look at it that way, almost everyone is wasting their education.

nak, forgive the spelling errors.
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#6 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 12:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWine

Should I read the letter and write in..? I hesitate, because I would like to have a peaceful October.
Don't read this letter if you're not ready to get fired up. It will not contribute to your peaceful state of mind. OTOH, I'd love to see the letters setting her straight. . .

Not only is her point of view insulting, she writes in such a condescending tone - "silly girls", and as a pp pointed out, sexist in assuming their dads paid for their educations.

Her writing always makes me suspect she's not 100% at peace with her life decisions, so she insults thoses who chose differenly from her to justify her life.
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#7 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 01:08 AM
 
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That's sorta what I was thinking, whenever people attack people they don't even know and on such a low level (calling them silly girls, etc.) it's because of their own issues. Just the thought that some women say that staying home is a better choice is threatening to her.

I went to a liberal arts college, I always thought people who wanted job training could go to a vocational school. I never worked a day in my field, but I use my education most days. (soc/anthro + womens studies) It never occurred to me that that would be a waste of my education. (Later I did go to a trade school, which has given me practical and marketable skills in massage therapy.)

If I wrote her a letter, I would just say lighten up.
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#8 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 01:09 AM
 
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Who ever said that the sole purpose of an education was a job? Whatever happened to learning for learning's sake?

And another thing... does she mean "girls" : who graduated from NON-Ivy League schools and then decided to become SAHMs are NOT wasting their educations??
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#9 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 02:02 AM
 
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#10 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 02:19 AM
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I think I'm reading the article very differently from how y'all are reading it. I don't think she's saying, "Who's paying for this -- they're wasting their educations!" I think she's saying that she, the writer, is the same age as the mothers of the young women mentioned in the story; that she, the writer, is an income-earning mother who contributes to the cost of her children's education; and that the young women are probably also being supported at least partially by an income-earning mother -- not just an income-earning father. Making their assumptions of a one-earner family in their own futures somewhat incongruous.

I don't think she's condemning either staying home OR working outside it. I think she's just saying that some young women assume they will be staying at home without knowing what that might entail economically, nor admitting that their current cushy lifestyles have been brought to you by Dad's AND Mom's paychecks.
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#11 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 02:34 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ABand3
Not only is her point of view insulting, she writes in such a condescending tone - "silly girls", and as a pp pointed out, sexist in assuming their dads paid for their educations.

Her writing always makes me suspect she's not 100% at peace with her life decisions, so she insults thoses who chose differenly from her to justify her life.
: She seems to be criticizing even women who do plan to return to work after the children are in school. So what exactly does she propose? If a woman is educated she's not allowed to have kids unless she hires a full-time nanny? (If this is what a mama wants, great, but if not, isn't the point of feminism for women to have choices in life?! )

And why is an Ivy League education worth more than a mother-child relationship to this woman? (Or a father-child relationship for that matter?)

If she's so concerned about wasting education (ie: money), perhaps she could spend her time volunteering at a daycare for low-income families who have to work 2+ jobs just to pay the rent and cut them a break instead of insulting women who choose to stay home with their kids.

(No, I don't have an Ivy League ed., just a BA in Art from the MT State U. system which I paid for myself for the most part with a little help from BOTH my mom and dad. And I also worked a lot. Of course, many people would criticize the idea of studying art as a waste of education, but that's a whole other can of worms.)

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#12 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 02:48 AM
 
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Originally Posted by SneakyPie
I think I'm reading the article very differently from how y'all are reading it. I don't think she's saying, "Who's paying for this -- they're wasting their educations!" I think she's saying that she, the writer, is the same age as the mothers of the young women mentioned in the story; that she, the writer, is an income-earning mother who contributes to the cost of her children's education; and that the young women are probably also being supported at least partially by an income-earning mother -- not just an income-earning father. Making their assumptions of a one-earner family in their own futures somewhat incongruous.

I don't think she's condemning either staying home OR working outside it. I think she's just saying that some young women assume they will be staying at home without knowing what that might entail economically, nor admitting that their current cushy lifestyles have been brought to you by Dad's AND Mom's paychecks.
Thank you for another point of view. I was going to reread the article, but now I can't get it to load on my computer. Maybe later. I can see how you could see things differently, but the writer's tone is too condescending for me to agree. Especially the use of "silly girls."

I worked as home-care assistant for an elderly woman who went to Wells College and was also a pioneering feminist. She was a fabulous woman with an amazing life.

Once I made the mistake of saying "Wells.....that's an all-girls school, right?"

Wow, did she let me have it: "It's a women's college." And knowing I was a liberal-thinking feminist as well, she added: "Girls? I'd expect you to know the difference."

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#13 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 03:19 AM
 
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An education can only be wasted if someone is not fulfilled by whatever decisions they make after getting their education. I never wanted a career. I always wanted to be a SAHM (though I love teaching private music lessons and will probably be doing that to some degree... I always thought of it as a nice way to work from home someday). My Mom stayed home with us.

I ended up not finishing my degree because I realised that I learn better on my own (I was also homeschooled through high school), but even if I had finished a degree (or two or three or four!) I would still have chosen to be a SAHM. Learning is something that never stops and regardless of whether someone learned best at an Ivy League school or by living everyday life, it is impossible to "waste" that education by making a decision that fulfills the person making it!

I hope that makes sense... pregnant brain has me pretty badly right now... I'm so looking forward to becoming a SAHM in just a little over two weeks So I'll probably be around here more often in the future!

love and peace.

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#14 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 04:05 AM
 
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Originally Posted by trmpetplaya
An education can only be wasted if someone is not fulfilled by whatever decisions they make after getting their education.
I agree. Education is never wasted. Being a SAHM is also a career for me though Im not a fulltime SAHM. I wanted to be one but I have to work because of circumstances. SAHM use their education in developing their childs capabilities.
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#15 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 07:49 AM
 
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Originally Posted by trmpetplaya
An education can only be wasted if someone is not fulfilled by whatever decisions they make after getting their education. Learning is something that never stops and regardless of whether someone learned best at an Ivy League school or by living everyday life, it is impossible to "waste" that education by making a decision that fulfills the person making it!
Beautifully put!
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#16 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 08:26 AM
 
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Not Ivy League educated here, but . . .

I said to dh recently that sometimes I don't know why I bothered going to college. So you know what he did? He had my diploma professionally framed, and hung it on the wall right over the computer in our main living area. What a sweetie. HE gets it. How can another women miss the mark so far?

When I went to school, I learned more than just how to have a job. I learned about living away from home, getting along with people who were truly unique and different from those in my high school. I learned more about true academics (as opposed to public school canned education, I learned to think for myself, argue with my professors (it was encouraged), and pursue my true interests). I joined several clubs which gave me opportunities I'd have never had otherwise. I became involved in student government. Dorm life offered such new experiences, that even more that 10 years on, I still have vivid and lively memories.

Going to college wasn't just about being prepped for a career. It was a major embellishment along the journey of my life. Much like choosing to stay at home now isn't just about raising kids. It's an entire journey that touches on every aspect of who I am, and what my life is about.

As for the writer of this article, I'd remind her that as women, we can have it all. We just can't have it all at once.
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#17 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 11:38 AM
 
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What a sicko. That article was very rude and disrespectful. I can understand that from a feminist perspective it might be disturbing to think of women staying at home in light of years of women not being taken seriously in the workplace. I think that in a capitalistic society, work is always going to be valued over personal/human commitments. We do have to realize that staying home does require someone paying the bills and if that is our husbands, then how can that not be alarming to the generation of women who have been fighting for respect in the workplace? At the same time, I chose not to persue my phd to stay home with my baby.

It is a shame that graduate school is not more condusive to raising young babies. If we could just have them during graduate school and use the university for child care, perhaps at least women in academia would have a better chance at "having it all."

I don't think this amounts to a wasted education. I also don't think there is anything wrong with part time work. I also think it is possible to reenter the workforce after having children if you have been keeping yourself active in professional organizations/maintaining contacts. You do need something on your resume. Keep in mind that Sandra Day O'Connor and Madeline Albreight were both stay at home moms who reentered the workforce when their kids were in school.

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#18 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 01:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by phaeon
Who ever said that the sole purpose of an education was a job? Whatever happened to learning for learning's sake?
Thank you for saying this! (Yes, I'm crashing this forum). I am an Ivy-League educated woman (not a girl, thank you), currently working on PhD. It is likely that I will stay at home with my kids, at least until they are school age. I didn't go to college/grad school in order to make a lot of money--if I had, I certainly wouldn't be working on the PhD now!--but because I love learning. *That's* something I can pass along to my children.

Would the world really be a better place if I decided to become a corporate lawyer or a banker, like many of my peers? Should we screen all applicants?--no future SAHDs, no future artists or actors or athletes--no one who doesn't "need" their college education. And what's with the assumption that all Ivy League students are rich kids being financed by "Daddy"? My parents helped me, but I also took out loans and worked. I know very few people who didn't.

The other thing that really bothers me about this article is that it doesn't address the deeper social issues that compel some women to stay at home (not that I think just wanting to isn't reason enough). I would LOVE to be able to maintain a career in academia with kids, but it's just not that realistic. The job requires an average of 80 hours a week (often more), the pay isn't fantastic, and I don't like my options for childcare. And wage disparities still exist--my dh makes more than I can, and he always will (even if he goes into academia himself--his field pays far better than mine). So if one of us is going to SAH, it's going to be me, for financial reasons.
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#19 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 02:24 PM
 
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Here I go climbing back on my soapbox. Grrr.... This makes me so angry. First of all, let it be said that I am in fact a feminist. I was a women's studies major, for crying out loud. I understand all the issues, and yet here I am at home with a toddler. Why? Because I have a CHOICE. I am very grateful to those women who struggled to win me the right to that choice, and here I reaping the benefits of that CHOICE.

I struggle in my own life every day to resist the "housewife" box, into which all and sundry seem to want to pack me. I am no housewife, but yeah, I do spend my days at home with my daughter.

I was a pretty radical feminist in my day. I still am, although I'm no longer sporting a lot of the superficial "outward signs." And what I've realized over the years is that while I'm still just as much of a "feminist" as I ever was, the feminism that I was offered by the women of my mother's generation was an extremely limited vision of what the world should be. My daughter will be a woman someday. Doesn't she have rights, too? Like the right to spend her days growing and learning close to the people who love her most in the world?

I don't believe that warehousing children into paid daycare is in any way good for those children, for the adults they'll grow into, or for the society they will have to live in when they are grown.

And I fail to see how the rights of women like myself to earn a paycheck somehow are more important than the rights of children to spend their days close to their loving parents.

And finally, I fail to see why making money for some corporation is a worthy goal for a woman, but growing and teaching the next generation isn't. Any sane society would value work that actually accomplished something worthy. So people who start corporations to make useless crap that nobody really needs, and people who spend their days advertising that useless crap to convince the rest of it that we do "need" it, all in the name "economic growth," are somehow doing work that is more important than the people who are teaching and shaping our children? You'd think so, to look at how we as a society value them. The guys who design and market Hum-vees make more money than teachers, daycare providers, social workers, and they CERTAINLY make more money than stay-at-home mothers. But who the heck really NEEDS a Hum-vee?

And my education is MINE, not hers or anyone else's, and nobody but me has a word to say about what I do or do not choose to "do" with it. I could argue that my education has made me a better parent, and that it will enrich my daughter's life. I could, but I won't, because that's beside the point. Even if it did my daughter no good, it's still not a waste of anything.

I think what we really need is a feminism that is broad and ambiguous enough to recognize the variety of hard, wrenching choices that women make. A feminism that doesn't pit one woman against another in some battle about who is "feminist enough" or who is "a traitor to the cause." Why isn't someone out there fighting for my right to earn money AND keep my daughter close to me where she belongs? Why isn't there somebody out there fighting for my right to earn a paycheck for all the nights I stay up all night rocking her while she's sick, or all the days I spend following her around the park answering her "wus dis?" questions? Certainly I work. I work HARD.

Oh geez I could rant and rave for three hours, but I know I'm preaching to the choir here so I'll stuff the rest of it. Oh, but crap like that article makes me want to break things.

I have to vent:

: : : : : :

Maybe what we need isn't "feminism"? Maybe it's "people-ism"-- a movement to defend children, families, and all people against being made slaves to the all-powerful god of "economic growth," to earn them the right to life fulfilling, sustainable, family-and-friendship oriented lifestyles and still be able to feed, clothe, and house their families adequately. That's me-- I'm a "people-ist."

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#20 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 02:39 PM
 
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Just wanted to say that I read the article, was appalled, and sent in a letter to the editor. I got a call today verifying that I wrote it as they're considering publishing it. I wanted to encourage everyone who has responded here to send in your thoughts as well. Heck, copy and paste what you wrote above. If we want things to change, we need to make our voices heard and letting the paper know your thoughts on this column is a great way to do just that. Perhaps if the paper is flooded with enough letters they'll take the time to acknowledge our point of view.

Here is the email address that you can send your letter to: letters@baltsun.com

Be sure to include your name and phone number as they need to call to verify that you are the author.
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#21 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 02:44 PM
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My problem with this article is that it ignores the fact that a healthy intellect evolves and is transformed over time. A person's intellectual interests are usually not the same at age 20, 30, 40 and 50. I spent my 20's collecting my Ivy League degree and my master's, but I walked away from my Ph.D. thesis and teaching career to care for my autistic son full-time. I have no regrets: I love my career change, and I love being with my son every day. I have the confidence of knowing that my work is needed and appreciated. When DS is at preschool, I'm researching therapeutic approaches and teaching methods for autism, biomedical interventions, neurology and immunology. I am grateful that I have this background in research so that I can help my son and nurture my family. I deeply admire other at-home parents who volunteer their expertise to write up the PTA budget, schedules for the co-op, etc. I volunteer my time to teach a class on Saturday mornings in my own field of study, because that's what members of a community do -- we each contribute our unique gifts to support and enrich each other!

I want to make the point, too, that the author of this column seems to believe in a kind of "time-travel" college admissions policy -- that is, if the person does not intend to use the education appropriately in the future, admission should be denied. We can't go back in time and deny admision to all the current SAHMs, and we can't deny admission to current applicants who dream of raising their own children one day. I fully intended to finish my Ph.D. and develop my teaching career, but my priorities suddenly changed; my SIL, who also has an Ivy League degree, intended to be a SAHM from the beginning, but she started a tutoring/SAT prep business out of her home, which expanded so quickly that she had to hire several more tutors and rent a large office suite -- so she ended up working full-time, plus evenings and weekends, outside the home while trying to take care of her 4 preschool-age children. I have a high school friend who wanted to be a SAHM, but she never met Mr. Right. She's now an Ivy League doctor specializing in diseases of the kidney. Intentions do not necessarily match up with reality.

This column is inflammatory, which reflects more about its author than about the target of her comments.

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#22 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 10:20 PM
 
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This has been an interesting thread! The author of the article should go back and read Ann Rynd's Anthem. I mean why not just decide as a society who deserves to go to college and who doesn't? : :

BTW I earned my college education through scholarships and a gift from my grandparents to help with room and board (very modest). She certainly makes a lot of sweeping statements and assumptions. I am using my education every day even if that doesn't mean I have a lofty job title or paycheck.

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#23 of 33 Old 10-05-2005, 10:34 PM
 
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I too have a 4 year degree that I'm "not using" bc I'm staying home with my 2 dc. My dh also has a degree from the same university. He's working, I'm not, but the irony of the situation is that I'm using my degree more at home (elementary ed) than he is at work! So what does that do to the author's pretty little picture of who should go to college?
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#24 of 33 Old 10-06-2005, 12:32 AM
 
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I'm currently a SAHM as well, but I feel like I use my education a lot. I have my BS in Nursing. When my kids were small babies I didn't stress over every little thing, because I can assess them myself and know when they really need to be seen when they are sick. It also helps to know basic medical terminology when talking with docs.

I am thinking of going back to school, in part just because I like to learn. Who's to say who should take classes and who shouldn't. My SIL went back to college after not finishing highschool. She now has a degree in sociology. She is not working and both of her kids are out of the house. Should she not have gone to college? If anything she wanted to prove to herself that she could finish college, and she did.
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#25 of 33 Old 10-06-2005, 12:50 AM
 
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Sometimes I just feel weird

Okay, I also read (and hated!) the initial piece and am completely happy home with my kids, but I do sometimes feel like I am wasting my education. Not because I am not using it in my day-to-day life with my children (whose life, I agree, is richer, for all of the time & money I HAVE spent) but because I miss participating in the forum that influences the policy that impacts other children & their families. I HATE when I see somebody doing something stupid within my own field of practice & know that I used to have a voice in weighing in for better policy & practice (locally or broader)

So, not to disagree with the chorus of voices on this thread, but I do sometimes find myself screaming at the local/national news "didn't anybody read the XY & Z study???" In those moments, yes....my degree feels completely wasted.

A few minutes later, I generally end-up discussing ptomely's theory with ds1 and feeling super-happy for slipping under the wire in Astronomy 101 or teaching ds2 his colors in a number of languages, but I will admit the conversations about politics at the playground have made me wonder...

BJ
Barney & Ben
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#26 of 33 Old 10-06-2005, 02:02 AM
 
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Hmmmm......

I use my Ivy league education every single day. AT HOME and in my community. It is an EDUCATION--not a job contract.

The Ivies will NEVER consider her absurd ponderings. And honestly, I am not giving her any more of my time.
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#27 of 33 Old 10-06-2005, 01:03 PM
 
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Meh. It doesn't bug me when people say that. I went into my field of choice partly because it does allow great flexibility so you CAN be a SAHM if you choose. I agree, an education is never "wasted." People who say that are usually very uppity and/or unhappy with their current life situation.
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#28 of 33 Old 10-06-2005, 02:01 PM
 
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Hi guys! I am new to this board, but I couldn't resist sending her a letter - thanks to the luxery of time that I have now as a stay at home mom, I can be more of an activist!

Dear Ms. Reimer,

I have a college degree and disagree with you that the degree I have has been a waste because I choose to stay home with my child. I am of a new generation of feminists, those who wish to honor our mother’s sacrifices to gain equality yet who also wish to honor the unique feminine power of creation and nurturing that is uniquely ours. You suggest critical thinking to be a commodity that is only of worth when used in the market place and not in the home. It is limiting and potentially dangerous to assume that education is a item for consumption rather than a human right.

Our society needs to take seriously the need for babies age 0-3 to have their mothers near by and recent studies have proven that there is a negative consequence to leaving them in another’s care. We need to tend to the nurturing of this delicate period and support mothers during this time. The tragedy is not that some women are unmotivated to use their degrees to gain wealth; the tragedy is that YOU were not supported during a critical period in your children’s life to do what would be best for them and best for society.

The goal should be moving away from societal structures that encourage glass ceilings and domination of one for the profit of another. Domination and control are tools of the patriarchal society that we as feminists should be uniting to change. The goal should not be for women to assimilate into the current system, it should be to change the system.

Sincerely,

Wendy Whilden Chennault
Austin, TX
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#29 of 33 Old 10-06-2005, 02:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WendyC
Hi guys! I am new to this board, but I couldn't resist sending her a letter - thanks to the luxery of time that I have now as a stay at home mom, I can be more of an activist!

Dear Ms. Reimer,

I am of a new generation of feminists, those who wish to honor our mother’s sacrifices to gain equality yet who also wish to honor the unique feminine power of creation and nurturing that is uniquely ours.
Aside from the ability to BF, I don't feel like females have a unique feminine power of nurturing.
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#30 of 33 Old 10-06-2005, 02:06 PM
 
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Her writing always makes me suspect she's not 100% at peace with her life decisions, so she insults thoses who chose differenly from her to justify her life.
That's what I thought when I read it as well. She just sounds bitter, maybe because she didn't have the choice, or she felt she had something to prove. She definitely sounds like she's not in touch with the current generation of SAHMs. Her article has this tone of "Well in MY day..."

I am currently on hiatus from my PhD program, and I don't know if I will ever return. It's something I struggle with a lot in the abstract, but when it came down to it, there is simply no alternative *for me* to raising my own child. Academia is NOT friendly to mothers, and it's really unfortunate that most women go through graduate school when they are around child-bearing age. There is very little choice for women in these situations: do you want to be a mom, or do you want to be a competitive scholar? Sure, it would be NICE to be able to do both at the same time, but as the author herself points out, (". . . the corporate and social structures that might allow them to combine work and family smoothly are still not there.") our society still isn't set up to allow for that option in most cases.

But wasted? No. Going through my program has taught me *enormously* about myself. I've also gotten some really great skills that help me prepare for motherhood: I can read and scrutinize research, I can voice my opinion, I can see and react to social problems, and I can be an awesome role-model for my daughter!

As pp have said, it's a shame that our society simply does not value the process of nurturing our young. Seems to me, that's what any enlightened society would focus on, rather than how quickly you can climb the corporate ladder.

Oh, and just for the record, my "Daddy" didn't pay for any of my education, nor did my Mommy. I paid for it all myself, you presumptuous b****.

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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