feeling a wee bit resentful - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 10-07-2005, 03:18 AM - Thread Starter
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some background _ I hs the two younger and help the two older when they need it. The 12 and 18 yr do the same hs program. They do have their own chores as do the two younger but for the most part I do the most maintaining of the house.
I do a revised flylady due to chronic illnesses/physical limitations.
I do ALL of the bill paying/recording/etc
I do ALL of the get the car inspected/get tags
I do ALL of the disputing with the companies on billing errors/checking if the pkg is the best for the most $$
do *most* of the MAjOR grocery shopping ( he and ds do mini runs off and on when I am down)
I research all the stuff for the house/kids/etc
I make all the appts including most of his ( mainly due to his work schedule)
I do our laundry
I alternate cooking with the two older kidlets
Dh works long hours and has a long commute
Moving right now is not financially possible to get closer in nor is it as safe ( ie letting kids play in their own yard) in a lot of areas that it used to be closer in

now my main machine is having problems and its partly dh's fault and it is going to take two pieces to fix. He said I needed to call SBC to talk/ask about a new modem. I said " I will give you the number to call them on MOnday." He still wanted me to do it "because you talk to those people all the time"
I said " I think it would be better for YOU to call them being the puter professional because they will have tech questions I can't answer"

Him "whats to answer ? you tell them you suspect the modem is ill."

Umm ok then they ask me "what is it doing to make you think that?" ( like I would know as long as ds and dh keep my net and email running I am happy)
"you can answer that"

NO I CAN"T DANG IT. I flat out told him " I don't think that ONE phone call will kill you"
He still disagrees with me

Last year I told the marriage therapist that JUST ONCE JUST ONCE in 12 yrs ( then) I felt it would not kill him to be the one to take the car or cars for the oil and filter change.

( he hates going anywhere on weekends and wants to always stay home. I hate being the do it all because I stay home esp since somedays getting out of bed is a challenge so I can do what needs to be done) THe MT agreed with me and told him so but it never happened.

I don't think that the one call will kill the man!!!!
Am I wrong for feeling just a bit resentful? This is HIS area of expertise after all ...
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#2 of 8 Old 10-07-2005, 03:22 AM
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I'd be PO'd about it. You shouldn't be expected to do ALL the work.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids 17, 11, 6, 3
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#3 of 8 Old 10-07-2005, 04:59 PM
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oh ug, I'm feeling the same way right now, only I only have 2 kids and no chronic illness or physical limitations! Darn right you should be po'd! It's his house too and he should have some of the responsibility. period.

Genie, mama to T (4/02), I (10/04) and T (7/09)

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#4 of 8 Old 10-07-2005, 05:16 PM
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I only have one kid, don't hs or do flylady or much of anything, and I'd STILL make him do it! :LOL

My dh used to be horrible about phone calls, but he's a lot better now. He has to talk to people on the phone for work, so he has become more accustomed to it.
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#5 of 8 Old 10-07-2005, 06:30 PM
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I would feel resentful too. Dh is also the "computer guy" in this house and anytime anything goes wrong with any of the machines, he is the one to fix it or call about it. He'd never expect me to take care of something like that. I'd push for him to do it.
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#6 of 8 Old 10-10-2005, 07:21 PM
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geez!! he ought to be kissing your feet!!

my dh still does the same chores he did b4 i became sahm to our 3 mo ds, except he does also hate making phone calls...don't we all? but it was much easier for me to make calls when i worked...now here i am one-handed all the time w/ child that will cry at will. dh has tried making me call about the cable modem also and it just backfires. he is the IT guy, and i know i should learn more, but that's not really the point. i think your dh needs a wake-up call...jmo! try not to let resentment build, tho', also jmo!
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#7 of 8 Old 10-10-2005, 09:57 PM - Thread Starter
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to really be a geek thing :LOL
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#8 of 8 Old 10-10-2005, 10:38 PM
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I think you have every right to be annoyed. I don't know the first thing about our computer network and firewalls and modems and security settings yadda yadda yadda. I tune out when dh starts talking about this stuff. Don't really have any desire to learn. So yeah, I wouldn't know the first thing to tell any 'puter person if things were down.

Hope you're feeling better today.
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