SAHMs - are you stressed? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 62 Old 12-08-2005, 10:23 AM
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Something else I was thinking about - my oldest two are in school all day, and people seem to think that I should be less stressed because I don't have them home with me all day. Total bull! My son (seven) has PDD-NOS, and has had some problems at school this year. During one four day period I was called down to his school three times - twice on the same day. Thankfully things have resolved themselves (fingers crossed!) but let me tell you, *that* was stress!

How does the saying go? Small children, small problems - big children, big problems!

Yep, it's easy for me to sit here and say that I'd love to be in your SILs shoes - the cleaning lady, no financial worries - but I don't know what her life is like. As I said before, from the outside, my life doesn't look all that bad - I'm a single mom of three, but we live in a nice house, have a decent car, are well clothed and fed - but what people don't know is that we are behind on all the bills, got a foreclosure notice on the house, and I feel more alone every single day.
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#62 of 62 Old 12-08-2005, 12:30 PM
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This is an interestng thread! I'm currently reading the book "Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety" by Judith Warner. The author is critical of the AP lifestyle (she says that it sets up high ideals that demand too much of mothers), but she also raises some great points.

The basic idea of the book is that American mothers ARE stressed because we have high expectations, little or no support, conflicting desires, and an insane culture. We were raised to believe that we could be great moms and be fulfilled at work - but really we don't have enough support to feel good about either role. We work really hard, we are competitive (because of the American culture of individualism and competitiveness) and we are stressed.

We think that we have "choices", but often our choices are just crappy. Be at home full time with your kids with little support or take a job outside the house and struggle to find decent childcare. Hmmm - crappy choice A or crappy choice B - which do you prefer??

I think stress is a huge problem in our society. We expect everyone to be busy, hard-working, productive (and STRESSED) most of the time. It's just unhealthy.

All that said - yep, I feel stressed. My house needs attention, it's freezing cold outside, I have a rowdy 2 year old and a high energy 6 year old, I miss being with adults more, etc.

Okay, my two year old is running around naked. I guess I should go give her some attention!

Good thread!
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