please leave me alone!! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 23 Old 12-13-2005, 03:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
RedWine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,899
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just a vent. I'm REALLY tired. I REALLY need to lay in bed and take some time for myself. I've taken care of the kids 24/7 for the past three weeks (dh is on a business trip).

I rented movies, but dd1 has never been the type to watch anything. She is nonstop go-go-go all the day long.

It's too cold to take the kids outside.

We don't have the car today, so I can't take them to the CHildren's Museum/etc.

It's only 1:19pm and I have the whole rest of the day still. Aaarrggh!!
RedWine is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 23 Old 12-13-2005, 04:21 PM
 
mandib50's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: my own reality
Posts: 4,698
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i SOOOOO hear you! i am absolutely wiped. dh works out of town 6 days at a stretch and by the time you include travel time, he's gone 7 1/2 days and then home for 4 1/2. i do allll the work around here, even when he's home and i just feel burnt out. wish i had some magic energy pills or something

Midwifery student , Mama to my 4 amazing kids. treehugger.gif

mandib50 is offline  
#3 of 23 Old 12-13-2005, 05:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
RedWine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,899
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for your response. I am in desperate need of alone time. It does help to reach out in cyberspace and find an understanding mama.

Today I feel absolutely:
RedWine is offline  
#4 of 23 Old 12-13-2005, 06:46 PM
 
GranoLLLy-girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,116
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I totally hear you. I have had pain in my neck and lower back for almost four months now. Then I saw an ad on TV that mentioned the signs of depression. Now I am starting to wonder.
And the thing is--I love my life...but why can't I pee ALONE JUST ONCE???
And really--what is the point in painting the walls--if one more scratch from a truck or other toy ends up on the walls--I think I'll just paint everything black. Of course, then they'll scrape the walls with white toys.
And they aren't being mean, just walking in the halls with toys--or pushing them....
I hear you!
GranoLLLy-girl is offline  
#5 of 23 Old 12-13-2005, 06:49 PM
 
Lucky Charm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: brett favre's house
Posts: 7,478
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Lucky Charm is offline  
#6 of 23 Old 12-13-2005, 07:30 PM
 
BensMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: North of Atlanta, GA
Posts: 2,175
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Totally with ya! I am recovering from a c/s and 3.5 weeks later I am not up for much walking/driving. So we have been stuck at home for sooo long! And the weather sucks, so I dont want to go to the park. Everything inside is too far away or too much walking or too $$$$. My son is on my last nerve and all I want to do at 3-4 in the afternoon is sleep.

I have always loved winter, but this year? Not so much.

Jenn, perpetually tired mom to DS(9): DD(4.5): DD(2) :
BensMom is offline  
#7 of 23 Old 12-13-2005, 07:40 PM
 
athenamae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Eastern VA
Posts: 13
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm like that a lot these days. My youngest is walking now. And my oldest never wants to sit still. And instead of taking a nap, I'm on here, even though they are both asleep.

But it's nice to be able to use both hands to type.
athenamae is offline  
#8 of 23 Old 01-01-2006, 12:42 PM
 
VictorianMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 20
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh I remember those days...For my sanity,I would get up before everyone else and have my tea and quiet time. My dh has always been good at giving me time away too.
People think I am nuts to get up so early but it just works for me and it is just a suggestion. I had to start this when we started homeschooling since my temperment requires that I have quiet time.
VictorianMom is offline  
#9 of 23 Old 01-11-2006, 11:09 AM
 
cherrypudding's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: The Alamo
Posts: 62
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can relate to everyone here. My DH is a full time student. When I agreed to let him quit his job and move us from Texas to Michigan I didn't realize how much time it was going to take up. I'm lucky if I see him for 1 hour a day. So I to do a large portion of all the house work. My dh is a neat freak too so if any else out has any exsperience with them you know how hard it can be to meet there standards.
After reading all the other ones i know I should just be happy he is alway in town but sometimes it doesn't seem like it! :
cherrypudding is offline  
#10 of 23 Old 01-11-2006, 12:41 PM
 
Stayathomemommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Eastern Oregon
Posts: 968
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
this is the perfect post for me this morning. DH was woke up by his alarm at 6:30 and proceeded to turn on lights, turn on the shower and then open our bedroom door and walk out to the living room leaving our door open. needless to say the noise and light flooded into my twins room and up the popped!!! i have been spoiled by getting to sleep in till 8Am if not later so i am cranky........and what did DH have to say??? "What do you want me to do? i have to go to work!" Maybe sorry for a start. usually he is good about quietly going and closing all the girls doors first then closing our door before turning on the shower and he usually kisses me and says cover your head i am going to turn the light in the bathroom on............but not this morning. ugh. all i could think laying there in bed is i have 13 long hours ahead of me before i can put them to bed tonight!!!!! i think today will definately be a nap day!!!! even if i die trying.

Angela: Catholic Homeschooling Mom to Sierra(11/00), twins Addison & Kendall(3/03), Jack(4/06), Brielle (7/08), Levi (2/2011); due with#7 (9/13). Birthed every witch way.....hospital. C section. VbAC. Unassisted water birth (hypno/painless). Assisted waterbirth to an almost 10lber! (Not painless!)
Stayathomemommy is offline  
#11 of 23 Old 01-11-2006, 01:24 PM
 
angel04345's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Maine
Posts: 609
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You know I think this is the season stay home moms get super tired! The kids can't play outside they get sick in the winter and all that indoor time doesn't leave a lot of space! I sometimes feel like getting a job to get away and then think about leaving them with some daycare lady who no doubt feels the same way but since these aren't her children she doesn't care and is mean to them all day! So needless to say here I am trying to find ways to keep from getting the winter blues! Off I go now to paint an egg carton! I wish it wasn't so crappy outside!
angel04345 is offline  
#12 of 23 Old 01-11-2006, 01:48 PM
 
wednesday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 5,421
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by angel04345
some daycare lady
I really don't understand why it's okay on this site to be so dismissive, and frankly disparaging, of women who have made it their profession to care for and nurture young children.

My son goes to a wonderful Montessori pre-school for 1-6 year olds where every teacher has a bachelor's degree or a Montessori credential or both. My son's teacher, in the 1-2 year old room, has a MASTER'S degree in early childhood education. She is an amazing person, not just "some daycare lady." I count my blessings every day that she is involved in my son's life. She does incredibly creative projects and stimulating activities with him and talks to me every morning and afternoon about what he's been doing in a way that makes it clear she really understands him as an individual, and communicates well with him right at his level.

Honestly I am not trying to flame you and I realize this is a vent thread but I see these kind of remarks time and again and it just seems kind of disrespectful...if a woman who is paid to care for and nurture small children deserves no respect...what does that say about women who do it for no pay at all (i.e. mothers)? All I'm saying is that if we want the care of young children to be seen as a worthwhile endeavor...then slamming the woman who do it professionally is not a good strategy.
wednesday is offline  
#13 of 23 Old 01-12-2006, 12:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
RedWine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,899
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi Wednesday,

I understand and agree with your point of view, but I don't think angel was out of line in the least. I often refer to nannies/daycare workers in that fashion, but I don't mean to disrespect them. What I DO mean is that if I am feeling burnt-out, imagine what it would be like for my child if someone else who was burnt out was doing the caretaking. No one loves your cihld like you do. So if mama is tired and cranky, that's still better than a tired and cranky stranger.

I don't mean that all nannies, etc. are tired and cranky. But everybody gets tired and has bad moods. I'd rather my child experience MY bad moods than the bad moods/fatigue of a paid helper who is not related to my kid and who also has other kids to take care of at the same time.

Sorry if I'm not being clear. I am actually very tired myself right now and need to go to bed!
RedWine is offline  
#14 of 23 Old 01-12-2006, 02:38 AM
 
MommyMine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 663
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I hear you!

I have a few crisis suggestions-

Bake cookies with them
grab a book and sit with them and read but don't play with them- my kids will let me do that so long as I am near and can give them "attaboys" every so often.
Get something truely novel out like shaving cream or an air mattress and let them go nuts! The airobed is huge for this at our house!

OK that is the end of my ideas.

I know what you mean!
MommyMine is offline  
#15 of 23 Old 01-12-2006, 07:52 AM
 
wednesday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 5,421
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWine
I understand and agree with your point of view, but I don't think angel was out of line in the least. I often refer to nannies/daycare workers in that fashion, but I don't mean to disrespect them. What I DO mean is that if I am feeling burnt-out, imagine what it would be like for my child if someone else who was burnt out was doing the caretaking. No one loves your cihld like you do. So if mama is tired and cranky, that's still better than a tired and cranky stranger.
I was with you up until you said "stranger," . Again, this is the type of language I'm objecting to. My son's preschool teacher is not a stranger to him. The child care provider he had before preschool was also not a stranger to him. In both cases we met the person on several occasions and spent time getting to know her, telling her about our son and letting her interact with him in her own way, before we ever left DS in her care.

Furthermore, while everyone can have a bad day sometimes, I trust my son's teacher to behave professionally. When you think about it, she doesn't have the kind of stresses in the classroom that a SAHM might have in her home. There are no piles of laundry waiting to be folded, no stack of bills sitting unpaid, no other chores nagging at her attention. If she is truly sick she can take a day of sick leave and stay home to rest (before enrolling DS I confirmed with the director that the teachers receive paid sick leave). So to sum up my point, I do not worry about her taking out a tired and cranky attitude on my son.

Would you call a teacher at the elementary school level "some school lady"? Think about how that sounds. While you say you don't mean it disrespectfully, it truly sounds pretty dismissive.
wednesday is offline  
#16 of 23 Old 01-12-2006, 12:39 PM
 
MommyMine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 663
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wednesday
The child care provider he had before preschool
are you a full time sahm or just here to give us a bad time. I assure you anyone I left my kid with be "some stranger" since they have never been left with anyone before other than my family and my good friends! I guess Redwine is in the same boat.

And since Redwine was speaking about her kids not YOUR kids maybe you should say "oh, I see" and move on instead of telling her how YOUR kids know their preschool teacher from daycare. I mean how is who your kids knows relevant to Redwine and her kids?
MommyMine is offline  
#17 of 23 Old 01-12-2006, 01:09 PM
 
wednesday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 5,421
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyMine
are you a full time sahm or just here to give us a bad time.
Neither. I am a WOHM who, you might be surprised, is opposed to group childcare for infants and younger toddlers. I think there are plenty of legitimate reasons to object to the separation of mothers and young children without resorting to disparaging child care workers.

And as for the "everyone is a stranger" line...come on...do you say that to anyone who sends their child to kindergarten? That they are going to school to be taught by "some stranger" or "some school lady"?
wednesday is offline  
#18 of 23 Old 01-12-2006, 01:41 PM
 
MommyMine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 663
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Why are you harrasing folks at the SAHM board?
MommyMine is offline  
#19 of 23 Old 01-12-2006, 02:07 PM
 
wednesday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 5,421
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If you feel I am harassing perhaps you should click on the ! in the lower left corner of my post and report it to a moderator.

My son had a SAHD until he was nearly a year old. I plan to be the SAHP myself for at least 2 years with our next child, circumstances permitting. I have a legitimate interest in reading threads and participating in this forum. Not that I need your permission.
wednesday is offline  
#20 of 23 Old 01-12-2006, 02:32 PM
 
zinemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: from the fire roads to the interstate
Posts: 6,298
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OP, are your kids old enough that you can get a mother's helper?

I have wonderful 8th grader from down the street who comes once a week for 2 hours in the afternoons and plays with the kids downstairs while I write upstairs (or take a bath or read or just stare into space). It costs a fraction of what a regular babysitter does, and is a great break for me and my kids. Maybe you could put out some feelers and find something similar. You need a break.
zinemama is offline  
#21 of 23 Old 01-12-2006, 05:15 PM
 
GoldBerry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: where my heart is free
Posts: 2,756
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
RedWine~ I understand where you are coming from and just want to say !

Today it was 8:30 am and I just thought, "How can I do this again- the same thing- all day?" The worst thing is I love being a SAHM and have been doing it for 5 1/2 years- so I thought I would be at peace with it all! I too have been having the "I'm going to get a job!" thoughts, but know in my heart that this would only make more problems.

What am I going to do? Take deep breaths. Take the girls out in the rain. Try to concentrate on the positive. And get some alone time ASAP!!

Good luck to you!

treehugger.gif  Mama of three daughters chicken3.gif
GoldBerry is offline  
#22 of 23 Old 01-12-2006, 05:48 PM
 
mar_and_meg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Saskatchwan, Canada
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I so hear you!! I don't remember the last time I went to the bathroom alone or at least not have a toddler screaming on the other side of the door! Showers are fun too!

My DH will work out of town for weeks at a time. I get so stir crazy. I used to just go to West Edmonton Mall and window shop with DD, but we don't live there anymore and the mall here take like 5 mins to walk. Not worth it. We don't even have enough snow to go sleding or something. No museums either.... I guess we can go to the library, but my youngest likes to take all the books off the shelves.

My only solution is to stay up late... *lol* That is the time I get alone to do whatever.

Marianne
mar_and_meg is offline  
#23 of 23 Old 01-13-2006, 12:22 PM
 
angel04345's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Maine
Posts: 609
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wednesday, We SAHM's are here to support one another during the winter blues so please keep negative comments to yourself.

Thank you ladies! that was absolutely my point Redwine!

We have been having some beautifull spring like weather here and we have been taking advantage! Lots of outdoor time! yesterday without even jackets! Which was quite a change from bundling up with scarfs and boots and hats and gloves and extra gloves! I think that sometimes just getting out is nice!


I think reading is always a hit with DD!
angel04345 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off