Decided to stay at home. - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-21-2005, 08:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just wanted to say thanx to the moms who posted responses to the thread I started a couple of weeks back about my struggle to decide whether to stay home or put dd in daycare to go back to work and help my dh pay our ridiculously high mortgage payments each month.

I did decide to stay home and I called the day care to tell them to give dd's spot to someone else behind me on the waiting list. It felt so good to finally make that decision, and I even feel more confident about somehow things being ok even uf we realize it's too much to keep the house and we decide to move as a result of it. Being w/ my little dd really does mean more to me than keeping this house in a great neighborhood, etc. And so maybe we'll be driving our older cars longer too, but I'd rather be driving our older cars w/ little dd behind me in her seat during the day.

Thank you to the mom who shared about that book that referred to all the big empty houses w/ no people in them. That image was so powerful to me and helped me realize what really mattered to me. I would love it if you could give me the author's name and title of the book again, I'd love to pick up a copy.

And in answer to someone else's question, I actually do work outside the home at night a few nights a week. I see people for individual counseling, but I don't make much at the end of the day b/c I give 1/2 my earnings to the group who give me an office space and a lot of my referrals. But it's still something, and in time when I get enough clients in my caseload I may be able to contribute something substantial to our bills each month.

Thanks for reading this, and I hope you all have a holiday season filled w/ warmth and love..


joy

wild.gifJofulone: loving wife of dh, mama of dd 8yrs and dd 6yrs, angel1.gif 6/09.  waterbirth.jpg homebirth.jpgguitar.gifsuperhero.gif 
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Old 12-21-2005, 08:06 PM
 
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Congrats on your decision

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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Old 12-21-2005, 08:14 PM
 
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Joy,
I can relate (somewhat, as I work 8 days a month)....when we had our third baby, it was unexpected. Our kids were older, and we had bought a house and a very nice SUV. We were able to handle it, because I worked when the kids were asleep, and I slept while they were at school. We used no child care.

Well, babe #3 came along and I knew things would have to change, and they did. We sold our home and moved to another state.

I am glad you were able to come up with a decision your heart could handle
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Old 12-21-2005, 10:52 PM
 
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Yay! I am so happy for you. I thought about you several times and I'm glad you wrote an update. That book I quoted is

The Heart Has its Own Reasons by Mary Ann Cahill

It was published in the 80s so I don't think you would find it in a bookstore. It may be in your local LLL library. My Mom ordered mine from half.com for 1 dollar. http://product.half.ebay.com/The-Hea...20226QQtgZinfo It talks about how to be frugal so you can live on one salary. It has some tips mainstream parents would think is extreme, like, "make your own cloth diapers." I am working on incorporating some of the frugal tips into my life. I don't really like being frugal but the book is helping me get motivated. It also talks about how important it is for young children to have a SAHM. I found the book very validating.

Anyway congratulations on following your heart. I could tell from your orginal post that you wanted to be a SAHM. How wonderful that your DH is supportive of your decision. I wish you lived in the Virgin Islands like me so we could be friends.
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Old 12-22-2005, 09:06 AM
 
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Congratulations on your decision. Please come here as much as you need to for support. I know when I made the decision, I had an intially difficult transition period. It was well worth it, and I wouldn't trade my life now for a zillion dollars, but having the support of other mamas helped in the meantime.
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Old 12-22-2005, 03:23 PM
 
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Joy,

I'm so glad you made a decision that you are happy with. Your dd is going to benefit so much and I'm positive you will love almost every minute of it I think working occasionally as you do is a great balance!

-Katie

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Old 12-22-2005, 03:27 PM
 
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Congratulations! Enjoy this time - it passes so quickly!
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Old 12-26-2005, 06:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks so much. I feel really encouraged about my decision especially after reading all your supportive feedback. And, I look forward to coming around here often.

wild.gifJofulone: loving wife of dh, mama of dd 8yrs and dd 6yrs, angel1.gif 6/09.  waterbirth.jpg homebirth.jpgguitar.gifsuperhero.gif 
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Old 12-26-2005, 08:08 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joyfulone

It felt so good to finally make that decision, and I even feel more confident about somehow things being ok even uf we realize it's too much to keep the house and we decide to move as a result of it. Being w/ my little dd really does mean more to me than keeping this house in a great neighborhood, etc. And so maybe we'll be driving our older cars longer too, but I'd rather be driving our older cars w/ little dd behind me in her seat during the day.


joy

Your daughter won't mind the old car! She will be grateful you're with her. I feel as though I can speak from experience---- my mom worked from the time I was little and I really feel I missed out.
In our house, we've made huge concessions w/out the second income, but it's really fine.
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